Kwa walio na uzoefu tu: Wanandoa au "come-we stays" wa muda mrefu... | JamiiForums | The Home of Great Thinkers

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Kwa walio na uzoefu tu: Wanandoa au "come-we stays" wa muda mrefu...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Tausi Mzalendo, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Umeoana na mwenzako kidini,kimila au kiserikali.Kimila naingiza umo wale wenye ku cohabit.Unaona mambo yamebadilika.

    Mara mwenzio kabadilika sura, tabia na kila kitu. Anakukera mwanzo mwisho.Hakusisimui tena kama zamani.Anakuudhi na kukutesa KISAIKOLOJIA HATA KAMA SIYO KIMWILI.Hamna tena mawasiliano.Kila mtu anafanya lwake.Hamhusiani tena kwenye tendo.Kwa kifupi hakuna tena kinachowaweka karibu kama mke na mume.Mmeshawekwa vikao vya usuluhishi hadi ndugu na marafiki wamewachoka. Kila mmoja anaona ndoa ni kituo cha polisi lakini cha ajabu bado mko pamoja.

    Ikiwa ni wewe utafanya nini?

    Najua jibu rahisi litakua - KUACHANA.

    Sasa jambo la msingi la kujadili hapa ni:
    JE, NI MUDA GANI MUAFAKA KUACHANA PALE WANANDOA WANAPOKUWA NA "IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES" kama hizo hapo juu na kwanini unafikiri huo ndio muda muafaka?
     
  2. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    Hakuna muda muafaka wa kuachana
    Its a life sentence
     
  3. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #3
    Dec 14, 2010
    Joined: May 15, 2006
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    Muda muafaka hapo ni kama ulivosema, ni baada ya majadiliano na mazungumzo ya usuluhishi bila ya mafanikio.

    Sasa kama mnaona wazi kuwa hamuwezi kumaliza au kuondoa tofauti zenu basi ni heri tu kuachana kuepusha mengine mengi zaidi.

    Maana kuendelea kuishi pamoja huku hamuelewani ipo siku mambo yatakuwa 'physical'na hakuna sababu ya kufika huko.

    Mnaweza kuja kujishangaa wenyewe kuwa baada ya kuachana mkawa marafiki wazuri tu mnaoelewana.

    Na kwa "kuachana" unamaanisha kutalikiana kabisa, sio?
     
  4. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Ina maana hata kama hali inatishia maisha?
     
  5. BONGOLALA

    BONGOLALA JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Watoto wakishafikisha 18 years old.kama hamjapata watoto anytime saa 1 Jioni ijumaa ndio muda mzuri majirani wasijue na iwe rahisi kubeba mabegi!
     
  6. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Ndiyo Kevin Talaka,
    Kuna dhana ya kwamba watu wataelewana wakishazaa watoto.Je hili lina ukweli wowote? Nauliza hili kwa sababu ukorofi wa kwenye ndoa huanza wakati wowote.Ninajua couple iliyoachana wili moja tu baada ya kufunga ndoa na hakuna mtu aliyefanikiwa kuwarudisha pamoja.Mwanamke aliolewa na mwanaume mwingine na hadi sasa wako pamoja. Mwanaume ameoa na kuacha mara 7!
     
  7. Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Oxlade-Chamberlain JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Kama mna watoto ni vizuri mjitahidi zahidi kutatua matatizo yenu kwa manufaa ya watoto,binadamu tunaweza kubadirika kama mtu akiamua.Kamam mmeshindwa kupata uamuzi wa kuweka tofauti zenu pembeni na mna watoto ni vizuri kwanza mkajadili hatma ya watoto wenu kabla yenu nyie.


    Kwa vile topic haijagusia watoto nachukulia kama ndoa hii haina watoto.Jibu ni mda muafaka ni huo baada njia zote zimeshindikana haina haja ya kulazimishana mapenzi mwisho wake mmoja wenu akachukua maamuzi mazito zaidi .
     
  8. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #8
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Hiyo ya watoto haina ukweli wowote. Kama hamuelewani ni hamuelewani tu.

    Sasa kwa maono yangu mimi, kama mna mtoto au watoto na mmeshindwa kumaliza tofauti zenu basi ni bora kuachana kuliko kuwa pamoja na kuishi kama maadui huku watoto wakishuhudia. Fikiria siku mmechukizana halafu mnaanza kutukanana au kudundana mbele ya watoto? Haifai kabisa.

    Ni bora muishi kila mtu na kwake na watoto wakija kwako kunakuwa na furaha na amani.
     
  9. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Bongo,
    Unataka kusema mtu avumilie mateso makali kwa mika yote hiyo? Kwa mwanamke huoni kuna hasara ( opportunity cost).Mpaka watoto wafikie umri huo kuna fursa nyingi sana ztampita!


    Topic haijagusia watoto kwa makusudi kwa vile hiki ndio kizingiti kikubwa njiani mwa wenye kutaka kuachana. Kuna watoto waliwahi kuhojiwa kuhusu maisha ya ugomvi ya wazazi wao. Walichosema ni kuwa wazazi hawajitendei haki, wala hawawtendei watoto haki kwa kulazimisha kuishi pamoja kwa maana watoto wanakerwa sana na ugomvi huo. Pia wakasema ile kujua kwamba wazazi wako pamoja kwa ajili ya watoto kunawakera zaidi. Hapo wazazi wanapaswa kujua kuwa watoto hawafagilii sana kisingizio hiki.
     
  10. Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Oxlade-Chamberlain JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 14, 2010
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  11. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

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    Today's couple getting married stands about a 50% chance of getting a divorce at some point. It seems as if the days of "til death do us part" are long behind us. Why is that the case? People change, and if the couple does not change together, they grow apart before they are even aware of what is going on. Their values change, their goals change, their likes and dislikes change, and one day they wake up and wonder who this other person is.

    Sometimes things can be reconciled, but other times the directions taken individually by the two partners are so far apart that a heavy construction company could not get their roads to join together again......and that is the right time to divorce
     
  12. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

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    Hili ndio wazo kuntu!
    Kupotezeana muda kupo sana na huku hufanya watu wawe na hasira sana baadae.
     
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 14, 2010
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    Mnaachana wakati wowote baada ya kuona hamna kinachoweza kuwarudisha katika hali ya ukaribu na amani!Kung'ang'aniana ni kuongeza chuki/tension kati yenu na maumivu kwa mmoja wenu...maana kama mmoja wenu hataki hata kujaribu kurekebisha na kuongelea tatizo hamna matumaini tena!
     
  14. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Its like ppl wake up to a fact that ' oopsyyyy.. we are getn married" as if they did not do their homework to know the depth n' bredth of it!
    PPl marry as fashion no total commitment!
    But that aside, marriages are so much challenged now than before... life is too fast, competitive..all these put a burden that strains the couples.
     
  15. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

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    if you have to end your marriage, you want to know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you could to make it work.
     
  16. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #16
    Dec 14, 2010
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    Absolutely! Coz u don't wanna woulda coulda shoulda yourself down the road
     
  17. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 14, 2010
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    I can see we are making head ways....
     
  18. G

    Gad ONEYA JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 14, 2010
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    You will be kicking can down the way!
     
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