Kwa walio na uzoefu tu: Wanandoa au "come-we stays" wa muda mrefu...


Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Umeoana na mwenzako kidini,kimila au kiserikali.Kimila naingiza umo wale wenye ku cohabit.Unaona mambo yamebadilika.

Mara mwenzio kabadilika sura, tabia na kila kitu. Anakukera mwanzo mwisho.Hakusisimui tena kama zamani.Anakuudhi na kukutesa KISAIKOLOJIA HATA KAMA SIYO KIMWILI.Hamna tena mawasiliano.Kila mtu anafanya lwake.Hamhusiani tena kwenye tendo.Kwa kifupi hakuna tena kinachowaweka karibu kama mke na mume.Mmeshawekwa vikao vya usuluhishi hadi ndugu na marafiki wamewachoka. Kila mmoja anaona ndoa ni kituo cha polisi lakini cha ajabu bado mko pamoja.

Ikiwa ni wewe utafanya nini?

Najua jibu rahisi litakua - KUACHANA.

Sasa jambo la msingi la kujadili hapa ni:
JE, NI MUDA GANI MUAFAKA KUACHANA PALE WANANDOA WANAPOKUWA NA "IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES" kama hizo hapo juu na kwanini unafikiri huo ndio muda muafaka?
 
Kimbweka

Kimbweka

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
8,609
Likes
56
Points
145
Kimbweka

Kimbweka

JF-Expert Member
Joined Jul 16, 2009
8,609 56 145
Umeoana na mwenzako kidini,kimila au kiserikali.Kimila naingiza umo wale wenye ku cohabit.Unaona mambo yamebadilika.

Mara mwenzio kabadilika sura, tabia na kila kitu. Anakukera mwanzo mwisho.Hakusisimui tena kama zamani.Anakuudhi na kukutesa KISAIKOLOJIA HATA KAMA SIYO KIMWILI.Hamna tena mawasiliano.Kila mtu anafanya lwake.Hamhusiani tena kwenye tendo.Kwa kifupi hakuna tena kinachowaweka karibu kama mke na mume.Mmeshawekwa vikao vya usuluhishi hadi ndugu na marafiki wamewachoka. Kila mmoja anaona ndoa ni kituo cha polisi lakini cha ajabu bado mko pamoja.

Ikiwa ni wewe utafanya nini?

Najua jibu rahisi litakua - KUACHANA.

Sasa jambo la msingi la kujadili hapa ni:
JE, NI MUDA GANI MUAFAKA KUACHANA PALE WANANDOA WANAPOKUWA NA "IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES" kama hizo hapo juu na kwanini unafikiri huo ndio muda muafaka?
Hakuna muda muafaka wa kuachana
Its a life sentence
 
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined
May 15, 2006
Messages
80,993
Likes
46,684
Points
280
Age
28
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined May 15, 2006
80,993 46,684 280
Umeoana na mwenzako kidini,kimila au kiserikali.Kimila naingiza umo wale wenye ku cohabit.Unaona mambo yamebadilika.

Mara mwenzio kabadilika sura, tabia na kila kitu. Anakukera mwanzo mwisho.Hakusisimui tena kama zamani.Anakuudhi na kukutesa KISAIKOLOJIA HATA KAMA SIYO KIMWILI.Hamna tena mawasiliano.Kila mtu anafanya lwake.Hamhusiani tena kwenye tendo.Kwa kifupi hakuna tena kinachowaweka karibu kama mke na mume.Mmeshawekwa vikao vya usuluhishi hadi ndugu na marafiki wamewachoka. Kila mmoja anaona ndoa ni kituo cha polisi lakini cha ajabu bado mko pamoja.

Ikiwa ni wewe utafanya nini?

Najua jibu rahisi litakua - KUACHANA.

Sasa jambo la msingi la kujadili hapa ni:
JE, NI MUDA GANI MUAFAKA KUACHANA PALE WANANDOA WANAPOKUWA NA "IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES" kama hizo hapo juu na kwanini unafikiri huo ndio muda muafaka?
Muda muafaka hapo ni kama ulivosema, ni baada ya majadiliano na mazungumzo ya usuluhishi bila ya mafanikio.

Sasa kama mnaona wazi kuwa hamuwezi kumaliza au kuondoa tofauti zenu basi ni heri tu kuachana kuepusha mengine mengi zaidi.

Maana kuendelea kuishi pamoja huku hamuelewani ipo siku mambo yatakuwa 'physical'na hakuna sababu ya kufika huko.

Mnaweza kuja kujishangaa wenyewe kuwa baada ya kuachana mkawa marafiki wazuri tu mnaoelewana.

Na kwa "kuachana" unamaanisha kutalikiana kabisa, sio?
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Ina maana hata kama hali inatishia maisha?
 
BONGOLALA

BONGOLALA

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2009
Messages
14,929
Likes
4,410
Points
280
BONGOLALA

BONGOLALA

JF-Expert Member
Joined Sep 14, 2009
14,929 4,410 280
Watoto wakishafikisha 18 years old.kama hamjapata watoto anytime saa 1 Jioni ijumaa ndio muda mzuri majirani wasijue na iwe rahisi kubeba mabegi!
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Muda muafaka hapo ni kama ulivosema, ni baada ya majadiliano na mazungumzo ya usuluhishi bila ya mafanikio.

Sasa kama mnaona wazi kuwa hamuwezi kumaliza au kuondoa tofauti zenu basi ni heri tu kuachana kuepusha mengine mengi zaidi.

Maana kuendelea kuishi pamoja huku hamuelewani ipo siku mambo yatakuwa 'physical'na hakuna sababu ya kufika huko.

Mnaweza kuja kujishangaa wenyewe kuwa baada ya kuachana mkawa marafiki wazuri tu mnaoelewana.

Na kwa "kuachana" unamaanisha kutalikiana kabisa, sio?
Ndiyo Kevin Talaka,
Kuna dhana ya kwamba watu wataelewana wakishazaa watoto.Je hili lina ukweli wowote? Nauliza hili kwa sababu ukorofi wa kwenye ndoa huanza wakati wowote.Ninajua couple iliyoachana wili moja tu baada ya kufunga ndoa na hakuna mtu aliyefanikiwa kuwarudisha pamoja.Mwanamke aliolewa na mwanaume mwingine na hadi sasa wako pamoja. Mwanaume ameoa na kuacha mara 7!
 
Oxlade-Chamberlain

Oxlade-Chamberlain

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
7,958
Likes
178
Points
160
Oxlade-Chamberlain

Oxlade-Chamberlain

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 26, 2009
7,958 178 160
Kama mna watoto ni vizuri mjitahidi zahidi kutatua matatizo yenu kwa manufaa ya watoto,binadamu tunaweza kubadirika kama mtu akiamua.Kamam mmeshindwa kupata uamuzi wa kuweka tofauti zenu pembeni na mna watoto ni vizuri kwanza mkajadili hatma ya watoto wenu kabla yenu nyie.


Kwa vile topic haijagusia watoto nachukulia kama ndoa hii haina watoto.Jibu ni mda muafaka ni huo baada njia zote zimeshindikana haina haja ya kulazimishana mapenzi mwisho wake mmoja wenu akachukua maamuzi mazito zaidi .
 
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined
May 15, 2006
Messages
80,993
Likes
46,684
Points
280
Age
28
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined May 15, 2006
80,993 46,684 280
Ndiyo Kevin Talaka,
Kuna dhana ya kwamba watu wataelewana wakishazaa watoto.Je hili lina ukweli wowote? Nauliza hili kwa sababu ukorofi wa kwenye ndoa huanza wakati wowote.Ninajua couple iliyoachana wili moja tu baada ya kufunga ndoa na hakuna mtu aliyefanikiwa kuwarudisha pamoja.Mwaname aliolewa na mwanaume mwingi na hadi sasa wako pamoja. Mwaume ameoa na kuacha mara 7!
Hiyo ya watoto haina ukweli wowote. Kama hamuelewani ni hamuelewani tu.

Sasa kwa maono yangu mimi, kama mna mtoto au watoto na mmeshindwa kumaliza tofauti zenu basi ni bora kuachana kuliko kuwa pamoja na kuishi kama maadui huku watoto wakishuhudia. Fikiria siku mmechukizana halafu mnaanza kutukanana au kudundana mbele ya watoto? Haifai kabisa.

Ni bora muishi kila mtu na kwake na watoto wakija kwako kunakuwa na furaha na amani.
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Watoto wakishafikisha 18 years old.kama hamjapata watoto anytime saa 1 Jioni ijumaa ndio muda mzuri majirani wasijue na iwe rahisi kubeba mabegi!
Bongo,
Unataka kusema mtu avumilie mateso makali kwa mika yote hiyo? Kwa mwanamke huoni kuna hasara ( opportunity cost).Mpaka watoto wafikie umri huo kuna fursa nyingi sana ztampita!


Kama mna watoto ni vizuri mjitahidi zahidi kutatua matatizo yenu kwa manufaa ya watoto,binadamu tunaweza kubadirika kama mtu akiamua.Kamam mmeshindwa kupata uamuzi wa kuweka tofauti zenu pembeni na mna watoto ni vizuri kwanza mkajadili hatma ya watoto wenu kabla yenu nyie.


Kwa vile topic haijagusia watoto nachukulia kama ndoa hii haina watoto.Jibu ni mda muafaka ni huo baada njia zote zimeshindikana haina haja ya kulazimishana mapenzi mwisho wake mmoja wenu akachukua maamuzi mazito zaidi .
Topic haijagusia watoto kwa makusudi kwa vile hiki ndio kizingiti kikubwa njiani mwa wenye kutaka kuachana. Kuna watoto waliwahi kuhojiwa kuhusu maisha ya ugomvi ya wazazi wao. Walichosema ni kuwa wazazi hawajitendei haki, wala hawawtendei watoto haki kwa kulazimisha kuishi pamoja kwa maana watoto wanakerwa sana na ugomvi huo. Pia wakasema ile kujua kwamba wazazi wako pamoja kwa ajili ya watoto kunawakera zaidi. Hapo wazazi wanapaswa kujua kuwa watoto hawafagilii sana kisingizio hiki.
 
Oxlade-Chamberlain

Oxlade-Chamberlain

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
7,958
Likes
178
Points
160
Oxlade-Chamberlain

Oxlade-Chamberlain

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 26, 2009
7,958 178 160
Mnapoamua kutatua matatizo yenu hata kama sababu kubwa ni watoto lengo kuu ni kurudi kati hali yenu ya kawaida na kwamba mmesahau tofauti zenu.Lakini mnajifanya mmetatua wakati hamuoneshi kwa vitendo kweli watoto hawato kuwa na furaha kwa hilo.

Zaidi ya hapo kama kila kitu kimeshindikana huo ndio mda wa kuachana haina haja ya kupotezeana mda.
 
hashycool

hashycool

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Messages
6,465
Likes
1,524
Points
280
hashycool

hashycool

JF-Expert Member
Joined Oct 2, 2010
6,465 1,524 280
Today's couple getting married stands about a 50% chance of getting a divorce at some point. It seems as if the days of "til death do us part" are long behind us. Why is that the case? People change, and if the couple does not change together, they grow apart before they are even aware of what is going on. Their values change, their goals change, their likes and dislikes change, and one day they wake up and wonder who this other person is.

Sometimes things can be reconciled, but other times the directions taken individually by the two partners are so far apart that a heavy construction company could not get their roads to join together again......and that is the right time to divorce
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Mnapoamua kutatua matatizo yenu hata kama sababu kubwa ni watoto lengo kuu ni kurudi kati hali yenu ya kawaida na kwamba mmesahau tofauti zenu.Lakini mnajifanya mmetatua wakati hamuoneshi kwa vitendo kweli watoto hawato kuwa na furaha kwa hilo.

Zaidi ya hapo kama kila kitu kimeshindikana huo ndio mda wa kuachana haina haja ya kupotezeana mda.
Hili ndio wazo kuntu!
Kupotezeana muda kupo sana na huku hufanya watu wawe na hasira sana baadae.
 
Lizzy

Lizzy

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 25, 2009
Messages
22,243
Likes
302
Points
180
Lizzy

Lizzy

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 25, 2009
22,243 302 180
Mnaachana wakati wowote baada ya kuona hamna kinachoweza kuwarudisha katika hali ya ukaribu na amani!Kung'ang'aniana ni kuongeza chuki/tension kati yenu na maumivu kwa mmoja wenu...maana kama mmoja wenu hataki hata kujaribu kurekebisha na kuongelea tatizo hamna matumaini tena!
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
Today's couple getting married stands about a 50% chance of getting a divorce at some point. It seems as if the days of "til death do us part" are long behind us. Why is that the case? People change, and if the couple does not change together, they grow apart before they are even aware of what is going on. Their values change, their goals change, their likes and dislikes change, and one day they wake up and wonder who this other person is.

Sometimes things can be reconciled, but other times the directions taken individually by the two partners are so far apart that a heavy construction company could not get their roads to join together again......and that is the right time to divorce
Its like ppl wake up to a fact that ' oopsyyyy.. we are getn married" as if they did not do their homework to know the depth n' bredth of it!
PPl marry as fashion no total commitment!
But that aside, marriages are so much challenged now than before... life is too fast, competitive..all these put a burden that strains the couples.
 
hashycool

hashycool

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Messages
6,465
Likes
1,524
Points
280
hashycool

hashycool

JF-Expert Member
Joined Oct 2, 2010
6,465 1,524 280
if you have to end your marriage, you want to know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you could to make it work.
 
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined
May 15, 2006
Messages
80,993
Likes
46,684
Points
280
Age
28
Nyani Ngabu

Nyani Ngabu

Platinum Member
Joined May 15, 2006
80,993 46,684 280
if you have to end your marriage, you want to know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you could to make it work.
Absolutely! Coz u don't wanna woulda coulda shoulda yourself down the road
 
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
1,471
Likes
10
Points
0
Tausi Mzalendo

Tausi Mzalendo

JF-Expert Member
Joined May 23, 2010
1,471 10 0
I can see we are making head ways....
 
G

Gad ONEYA

JF-Expert Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2010
Messages
2,641
Likes
8
Points
135
G

Gad ONEYA

JF-Expert Member
Joined Oct 26, 2010
2,641 8 135
You will be kicking can down the way!
 

Forum statistics

Threads 1,238,994
Members 476,289
Posts 29,339,247