Kupungua au kukosa hamu ya kufanya mapenzi (low sexual libido or loss of libido)

[Zogwale]

Nionavyo mimi:-

1. Ni kweli tunaochangia mada hapa kwenye JF hatujuani kwa sura, lakini ni rahisi kurealize tabia ya mtu kutokana na uandishi au uchangiaji wake. Hapa point yangu ni kwamba, kutokana na uchangiaji wako hapo juu, naweza ku-realize kwamba wewe u-mshari au mwenye kupenda ugomvi.

2. Kutokana na issue yako na mmeo, naona tatizo si umri kwani range uliyoitoa ya miaka 35 kwa 47 inaonyesha kwamba ni watu wenye mawazo sawa. Hivyo suala la umri sio tatizo katika ndoa yenu.

3. Kama utakuwa umeolewa ukiwa na umri mkubwa sana (takribani miaka 32), kwa umri huu wanawake walio wengi (si wote) wanakuwa tayari hawana mawazo ya kuolewa ila kuishi maisha ya kujipangia uhuru wao wenyewe. Wengi wao wanakuwa wamekatishwa tamaa au wamejeruhiwa roho zao na wanaume kimapanzi kipindi cha umri ambapo wanakuwa wanatamani sana kuolewa (Miaka 20 - 30). Kwa umri wa miaka 32 tayari wanakuwa wamezoea kuishi kwa uhuru wao. On the other words, wanakuwa tayari wamekuwa sugu au wamekubuhu....hawajali tena ndoa..ila kujifuhaisha nafsi zao kwa mapenzi tu...

4. Kwa kifupi, kuna wanawake waolewa (good wives) na wanawake wasio waolewa (bad wives). Good wives wanapenda sana ndoa zao, na wanafanya kila liwalo kuzilinda bila kujali magumu wanayokumbana nayo. Bad wives hawa ni wale wapenda good time, wanataka wawe na wanaume kwa ajili ya kujifurahisha na kwa kipindi fulani. Baada ya muda huboreka na hutaka kubadirisha. Wengi wao unakuta wana vijisenti au kazi nzuri na hivyo wanakuwa na kiburi, si wasikivu.

5. Conclusion: Wewe dada aidha ni mshari au uko kwenye kundi la bad wives. Siwezi kukulaumu na pia huwezi ujilaumu. That is the reality.

6. Ushauri: Mwombe Mwenyezi mungu akuzishie upendo kwa mmeo na pia jitahidi kuwaona washauri wa mambo ya ndoa, pengine waweza kupata msaada zaidi wa kuimarisha ndoa yako.

7. Nakutakia maisha mazuri ya ndoa.

Alishasema ni hadithi ya kutunga. Hivyo, si kweli ndivyo alivyo.

Ila ifahamike kuwa kuna ndoa ngumu sana, yaani ni mateso either kwa mke au mume. Katika hizi ndoa lazima kuna ambaye yeye ndiye anayesababisha mgongano. Cha msingi tu huu ni mfano na kwa wale ambao wako humu au ndugu au marafiki wana suffer katika ndoa, suluhisho si kuachana hasa pale ambapo mna watoto. Mara zote tujifunze kusuluhisha matatizo ya ndoa kila siku ikiwezekana kama pametokea kutoelewana hata katika jambo ndogo. Fahamu kuwa madogo huzaa makubwa. Kama hujajijengea utamaduni wa kumaliza tofauti zenu kila wakati mara leo mnanuniana, mara kesho mnacheka then mtakuwa na maisha magumu baadaye hasa pale miaka ya ndoa inaposogea.

Ndoa nyingi ni ngumu sana from 0-5 years maana hapa ndo kila mtu anaanza kuonyesha true colours zake. Sasa 5-10 years kama kulikuwa na tatizo na hakuna uvumilkivu na kuelewana hapa talaka ni nyingi sana. Kuanzia 10 years wanandoa wanaanza kuwa wazoefu kwa kiasi fulani na kutojali sana na mwishowe wanachukulia mikwaruzo kuwa ni part of their marriage life hakuna kujali na mtu anaona after all wameshazalisha au kujenga pamoja na haina maana kuachana so utakuta wengi wanalala vyumba tofauti au hata kama wanalala chumba kimoja lakini hakuna sexual desire na kila mtu unaweza kuta ana mtu wake nje, hasa wanaume tulio wengi. Akina mama wanaweza kuachana na sexual desire na akawa busy na watoto wake, hasa mabinti maana atakuwa nao karibu kwa umri huu wa wasichana na ubisy huo unamtosha. Ni ndoa chache sana ambazo zinakuwa smooth thoroughtout.

Cha msingi ni jukumu la kila mwanandoa kuilinda na kuheshimu ndoa yake. Ndoa inapovunjika ni aibu. Si jambo jema. Wanandoa tupendane na kuwa waaminifu, tusiwe wachoyo katika kuonyesha upendo. Na ndoa itadumu.

 

[Abdulhalim]

Thank you all for your contribution. Hii ni hadithi ya kutunga nilitaka kupata michango na maoni tuu incase if it happens to rise an issue like this or kwa walio nayo how to go about! Kweli JF kuna vichwa achana na hii blog. Kwa kweli ikifungwa wengine naona sijui itakuwaje wajameni?

Bua ha ha..Makubwa haya wajameni..

Kwa hiyo ndo unaua soo? Kumbuka wahenga walisema " Mficha maradhi mauti..."

NB: Wahenga huwa hawakosei..

 

[Next Level]

Ilikuwa ni chemsha bongo tuu

Hii kitu ina ukweli fulani, huwezi weka chemsha bongo (theoretical) on your husband......hayo mawazo unayo kichwani mwako kama bado hiyo situation haijamaterialize kwenye ndoa yenu......! jiangalie dada, mficha uchi.........?

 

[Stone Town]

asalamu alaykum.

Mimi naomba nitoke ushauri wangu kwa huyu dada kwanza pole sana kwa sababu hilo suala ni kubwa kama lilivyokuwa zuri lina gharama zake basi na baya pia lina gharama zake.

bila ya shaka huyo mume hukupewa ulimtaka mwenyewe, na nina dhani kwamba ulikuwa unampenda na yeye anakupenda sasa kama wewe umeanza kuona maudhi kukaa naye sio vibaya lakini unapaswa kukumbuka kwamba ikiwa yeye anakupenda utakuwa umemdhulumu maana anakupenda kwa hivyo ninachoweza kukushauri kuwa nawe usiache kumpenda hata kama moyo hautaki ulazimishe bila ya shaka utajiona upo okay. hiyo ndio first aid ya kwanza lakini jengine kama kuna kitu ambacho kinakukera au hukipendi kwake ni vyema ukamwambia kitu fulani sikipendi mpenzi wangu naomba ukiwache au kama ni tabia pia unaweza kumwambia ajirekebishe na hiyo tabia yake kama ni mbaya au huipendi.

lakini chengine isiwe umempata mtu mwengine ndio ukaanza kusema eti humpendi maana mie naona hiyo miaka miwili ni kidogo sana kiasi cha mtu kumchoka mpenzi wake na kama ikiwa hivyo basi bila ya shaka hakuna dawa hapo dawa kubwa utafanya kila bidii ili uachwe wende kwa mwengine. ikiwa ni hivyo nakushauri hilo ni jambo baya sana maana utakuwa umemsaliti mwenzako na ujue haitaishia hapo ukikutana na mwengine mwenye pesa au mwenye kukuonesha mapenzi kidogo tu utamuacha huyo uliyenaye na ukimbilie kwa mwengine jiangalie sana usije kuingia katika mtego mbaya wa kuipenda dunia zaidi kuliko wajibu wako na mwenza wako.

jambo kubwa ninaloweza kukushauri usichukue maamuzi ya haraka ingawa wanawake ni watu wenye papara katika maamuzi fanya subira na uzidi kufikiri ili ufikie malengo, ka na mpenzi wako mumu wako kwa mashauriano pengine kwa kuulizana kwa nini mlipendana na kwa nini sasa mapenzi yenu yanapungua kila kukicha mkishajua jawabu hapo mtaanzia pengine kujikumbushia ya zamani lakini pia unaweza kutoka nje ya sehemu unayoishi kwa kufikiri zaidi na ukirudi nyumbani unaweza kuwa na mwamko mpya wa kifikra za kuweza kudumisha ndoa yenu.

siku hizi kuna matatizo mengie vijana mnapaswa kufikiri sana kabla ya kuamua kwend akufunga ndoa sio mnakimbilia mkiona mtu amevaa tai haya mbio mkimuona mtu ana rav 4 haraka mnakwenda kutaka kuolewa au wanaume mkimuona mwanamke amevaa kimini mguu umevimba ndio mnaona mwanamke wa kumuoa mkimuona mshichana amechana nyewel vizuri ana gari anafanya akzi katika ofisi au anafanya biashara ndio haraka mnatimua mbio kwa kutaka kuitwa mume ni hatari sana kaa ufikiri mke wa aina gani unataka kumuoa sio kila mzuri wa sura ndio mwanamke mzuri No. Angalia na mambo mengine ikiwemo tabia zake mila ukitaka unaweza na kufuatilia hata kwa tabia za wazee wake ili usije ukaoa au kuolewa baadae ukajikuta uko peke yako katika familia hakuna anayeweza kukusupport ukifikwa na jambo.
kila la kheri

 

[matambo]

Low libido

Libido naturally diminishes as men age. Testosterone, the hormone primarily responsible for sex drive, begins to decline in the body by about 1 percent every year beginning around the age of 30. This is perfectly natural, though healthy men can take steps to boost libido at virtually any time in life. "There is no age beyond which sex drive is not possible or therapeutically helpful," says Dr. David Plourd of the Naval Medical Center in San Diego.

However, a drooping libido can also indicate an unhealthy body or mind. Most notably, low testosterone is a symptom of excess body fat, since fat both inhibits testosterone production and breaks down testosterone already in the system. Depression, anxiety and stress can each reduce libido, as can excessive alcohol intake.

Note that sexual drive and erections are discrete physiological matters: Libido is determined by testosterone, while erections are dependent on blood flow and nerve sensitivity.

Possible indications:

• Obesity
• Diabetes
• Mumps
• Tumors on pituitary or hypothalamus
• Excessive alcohol intake
• Sedentary lifestyle
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Stress

What to do:

• Improve your diet and exercise
• Reduce abdominal fat
• Consider talking to a shrink
• Get a blood test

 

[Kiroroma]

For men with little sexual desire it is sometimes enough to have one or a few conversations in which they can express their feelings and ask questions about the extent to which their situation is abnormal.

Counselling about reduced desire in stressful situations like death, unemployment, disease of the partner or stress at work can be sufficient. If all sexual interest has disappeared, and there is no masturbation either, the hormonal regulation should be examined. When anomalies in this are found, medication can be prescribed.

There are no standard treatments for a reduced interest in sex. Depending on the causes of the complaints a treatment will be set up. Physical causes are also treated depending on the cause. The lack of interest in making love due to certain medication is treated by using other medication or another dose. Psychological causes can best be determined and treated by a sexologist.

Psychotherapy, which studies and treats the psychological causes, can be important in this. It is important to understand that thoughts often go through the mind while making love which negatively influence the interest in sex. Social influences, e.g relation problems, stress at work, etc. are treated by relation therapy or psychotherapy. A sexologist can use different forms of therapy to determine and possibly influence the thoughts about sex.

 

[PakaJimmy]

Hii shida iko kwa wengi sana, lakini kuna tabia ya watu walio wengi kuficha matatizo yao ya kiafya.

Lakini pia nadhani councelling services hapa kwetu Tanzania pia si nzuri kama za nchi nyingine!

 

[Bontowar]

Also this can cause http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micro_penis and what is the treatment

 

[Bontowar]

Consider talking to a shrink

Unaweza kunielewesha hili hapo juu sijakupata

 

[Kijuso]

Kama umemchoka basi mumeo basi mchukue mdogo wake labda atakuridhisha!!

 

[Caroline Danzi]

Dada nafikiri humtendei haki mumeo. Nakushauri pia ukapime ujauzito nao una mambo kama hayo na kuwa na chuki bila sababu. Kwa nini umwache au akuache. Unajua utakuwa umemptozea mangapi? 2 years katika age ya 46 ni kumkosea. Kama ulipenda jaribu kuchunguza nini kinafanya wewe uwe na chuki bila sababu. Othewise utamwacha na hutapata mtu mwingine.

Muombe Mungu akuondolee hiyo laaana ni mbaya na muhusika ni wewe.

 

[Lekanjobe Kubinika]

Kumbe wewe nia yako ni kuachika? Sidhani kuna mtu atakushauri ufanye nini cha kumuudhi mumeo ili akuache, wewe unamjua mumeo vizuri zaidi hata unaweza kuchagua. Kama ana wivu nawe basi peleka bidhaa yako njia panda ili yeye naye akuone na mashahidi waone, utaachika hapo hapo. Chukua maamuzi magumu. Inaelekea umepata kiwanja kingine mwenzetu. Unamtesa mumeo na ukiolewa na mwingine hatamzidi mumeo. Kumbuka mumeo wa kwanza ni supper zaidi, a genuine reference never easily bypassed! Ni wezi tu wanadhaniwa kuwa zaidi, nao ni kwa sababu ya asili kwamba mkate wa wizi ni mtamu zaidi kuliko wa kwako mwenyewe.

Leka

 

[Edson]

huyu ndo yule mwongo ambaye huju na mada za kijinga hapa janvini mara ya mwisho alikuja na thread anayomzungumzia mume wake kuwa ana nyumba ndongo so na yeye akaamua kutafuta serengeti boys mmoja ili amkomoe mume wake.

leo anasema hana hamu na mume wake!! mwongo sana huyu hata profile yake ya face book kun mdau aliileta hapa inaonyesha alivyo mwongo.

anapoteza mda,

 

[FirstLady1]

Hapa sipo

 

[WomanOfSubstance]

3.Tazama majukumu yako kama mke yapo sawasawa? in terms of KUMWANDALIA MZEE MAJI,CHAKULA n.k hata kama wewe si mama wa nyumbani, jaribu kurudi mapema na kujifanya kama wewe ni NYUMBA NDOGO yake.

.

Unafiki ulioje!
Umemshauri Mrs Mtaba ajifanye ni nyumba ndogo, je Mr Mtaba unamshauri afanyeje?

 

[Asprin]

huyu ndo yule mwongo ambaye huju na mada za kijinga hapa janvini mara ya mwisho alikuja na thread anayomzungumzia mume wake kuwa ana nyumba ndongo so na yeye akaamua kutafuta serengeti boys mmoja ili amkomoe mume wake.

leo anasema hana hamu na mume wake!! mwongo sana huyu hata profile yake ya face book kun mdau aliileta hapa inaonyesha alivyo mwongo.

anapoteza mda,

Una kumbukumbu nzuri sana. Nimekugongea SENKSI mkuu. Huyu mrs inaelekea memory kadi yake kumkichwa imeingia vairasi. Unajua unapokuwa mwongo unahitaji kuwa na kumbukumbu ya hali ya juu. This woman/man ana kumbukumbu za kichina! aggriiiiiiiii!

 

[Zion Daughter]

Una kumbukumbu nzuri sana. Nimekugongea SENKSI mkuu. Huyu mrs inaelekea memory kadi yake kumkichwa imeingia vairasi. Unajua unapokuwa mwongo unahitaji kuwa na kumbukumbu ya hali ya juu. This woman/man ana kumbukumbu za kichina! aggriiiiiiiii!

Xpin na Edson na wengine,msimshambulie bure huyu mama wa watu,Hii mada ni ya January 2009.Kuna mtu ameiibua.Huenda kipindi hicho kweli alikuwa na haya matatizo,Mna uhakika gani? Kwani wangapi humu ndani wanakuja na mada za kupika? Sitetei ujinga au uongo lakini tuwe reasonable sometimes.

 

[Asprin]

Xpin na Edson na wengine,msimshambulie bure huyu mama wa watu,Hii mada ni ya January 2009.Kuna mtu ameiibua.Huenda kipindi hicho kweli alikuwa na haya matatizo,Mna uhakika gani? Kwani wangapi humu ndani wanakuja na mada za kupika? Sitetei ujinga au uongo lakini tuwe reasonable sometimes.

Haya mama, mpe tuisheni ya kuachika! Inaelekea ile tuisheni ya nyumba ndogo haikumkaa kumkichwa. Kanogewa na nyumba ndogo sasa anataka kuachika! What a WHAT? Mi namshauri amwombe Mume wake amle tiGO. Kama mume wake si muumini, ataachika kirahisi. Kama ni muumini aje tena hapa atuombe ushauri mwingine, kwa sababu atakuwa pale to STAY!

 

[Kimbweka]

Haya mama, mpe tuisheni ya kuachika! Inaelekea ile tuisheni ya nyumba ndogo haikumkaa kumkichwa. Kanogewa na nyumba ndogo sasa anataka kuachika! What a WHAT? Mi namshauri amwombe Mume wake amle tiGO. Kama mume wake si muumini, ataachika kirahisi. Kama ni muumini aje tena hapa atuombe ushauri mwingine, kwa sababu atakuwa pale to STAY!

Ushauri wa bure hahahahaha

 

[FirstLady1]

jamani hii mada ya long ago kumbe zimeshapita karne kibao ndo maana kila mmoja aliamua kujitafutia back up ..ila huyu mwanamke naona atakuwa ndo mwenye matatizo
nampa pole mme wake