Kiapo cha ndoa.

[MwanaFalsafa1]

Je watu wana tilia maanani wanacho kiapa kanisani? Je wanajua wana apia nini? Maana una kuta mtu ana kula kiapo cha ndoa lakini anakuja kufanya opposite. Mtu ana sema kwenye shida na raha lakini wakati wa shida ana kimbia au kulala mika. Mtu anasema kwa utajiri au umaskini lakini pale mumewe anapo kuwa masikini haishii kutamani vya wengine. Mtu ana apa kuwa mwaminifu lakini ana kuwa msaliti wa ndoa. Mtu ana sema mpaka kifo kitu tenganishe lakni wana kuja kutenganishwa na kitu kingine.

Kiapo kile mtu huapa mbele ya Mungu na mashahidi. Kiapo hiki ni kama mkataba na utamkapo maneno yale ina maana ume ya kubali. Je kwa nini uape kitu ambacho hauwezi kutimiza? Kwa nini watu wasiandike viapo vyao wenyewe badala ya kulazimika kukubaliana na hivi vilivyo sha andikwa wakati wengine wanajua hawa wezi kutimiza masharti hayo?

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

That's why I say the whole idea of marriage is hogwash. What good is it to exchange vows that you can't respect and keep? Who are you fooling? Marriage is so overrated and outdated.

 

[MwanaFalsafa1]

That's why I say the whole idea of marriage is hogwash. What good is it to exchange vows that you can't respect and keep? Who are you fooling? Marriage is so overrated and outdated.

I think couples should make thei own vows. Say what you believe you are able to do & not what you think you are required to do. For example Mark Sanford, he refused to say the staying faithful part in his vows. He ended up cheating but still he didn't go against his words & his wife knew he had left that part out.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

I think couples should make thei own vows. Say what you believe you are able to do & not what you think you are required to do. For example Mark Sanford, he refused to say the staying faithful part in his vows. He ended up cheating but still he didn't go against his words & his wife knew he had left that part out.

But still that doesn't excuse what he did to her. It's much better not to get married than to get married and stray away from it.

 

[MwanaFalsafa1]

But still that doesn't excuse what he did to her. It's much better not to get married than to get married and stray away from it.

True bro it doesn't excuse it. What I'm trying to say is that he didn't break a vow. It should have been a warning sign to the woman that he didnt mention that part in his vows. So my point is couples wakubaliane vows. If you see your mate is not ready to make the same commitments you want him/her too you call it a day.

I'm saying this because for now it is very hard to due away with the institution of marriage. Because marriage creates legitimacy & it helps when it comes to each demanding their rights & even the rights of the children.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

True bro it doesn't excuse it. What I'm trying to say is that he didn't break a vow.

He may not have violated a vow but he sure did break a trust. A trust that is supposed to be inherent in any monogamous relationship. I recall seeing the lady on Larry King and she said that he kept telling her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. Now what kind BS is that?

I don't care whether you have to say it in your vows or not. The bottomline is if you are married to one person and if you are in a monogamous relationship it's not cool to cheat on your partner. That is why I have the utmost respect for swingers and people who are in open relationships. With these people you know what you are getting yourself into from the get go.

 

[MwanaFalsafa1]

He may not have violated a vow but he sure did break a trust. A trust that is supposed to be inherent in any monogamous relationship. I recall seeing the lady on Larry King and she said that he kept telling her that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her. Now what kind BS is that?

I don't care whether you have to say it in your vows or not. The bottomline is if you are married to one person and if you are in a monogamous relationship it's not cool to cheat on your partner. That is why I have the utmost respect for swingers and people who are in open relationships. With these people you know what you are getting yourself into from the get go.[/QUOTE]

Well aren't vows an indication of what you are getting yourself into on the get go?

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Well aren't vows an indication of what you are getting yourself into on the get go?

No they are not because they are repeatedly broken by those who take them.

 

[xhera]

ndo mana wanasema usifunge ndoa kama hauko tayari tatizo sikuhizi wazima moto wengi ndo mana ndoa hazidumu....

 

[MwanajamiiOne]

Ni kufuata mapokeo tu- kwa kuwa uliyakuta nawe watarajiwa kuyaendeleza.

 

[FirstLady1]

Ni kufuata mapokeo tu- kwa kuwa uliyakuta nawe watarajiwa kuyaendeleza.

MJ1 morning jibu lako limenifurahisha

 

[Chimunguru]

Lkn hulazimishwi kwenda kanisani, kuapa kile kiapo km mnaona hakiwafai si muende kwa mkuu wa wilaya sijui, mkafunge hizo pingu za maisha, kama napo kuna kiapo kama hicho, basi sijui utafanyaje, maana ndoa lazima iwe na makubaliano. Utakubali binti yako aishi na jamaa bure bure tuu? akiachwa katikati ya safari? msijiangalie wenyewe tu angalieni na watu wengine vile vile.

 

[Askofu]

We are gathered here in the presence of God and men to join these two people in holy matrimony. We know they have been sleeping together in secret but they can now do it in broad daylight and with the knowledge of everyone.

And as marriage is holy, at least in theory, I put it forth that if there is anyone in this gathering who has a valid reason why these two should not be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace. Anyone ..... Is there anyone.....? C'mon, he must have slept with some of you? Someone.... ? Anyone ....? I know someone here has slept with her too? Well, I guess they were all one night stands.

Moving on swiftly. Mr Groom, do you take this woman as your lawfully wedded bride, to love to cherish and to hold, to listen to her whinning halfway through the night, always suck up to her father, to always lose an argument or else..., to listen to her unending lies about her having a headache when you really need to release steam, put up with PMS... and sometimes faked ones... till death do you part?

(I do?.....)

Very well. And do you Miss Bride, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love to cherish and to hold. To cook for, clean up after, give up watching soaps and anything interesting when there is football, find the toilet seat up everytime, Clean pee of it, take care of kids alone, house his relatives, cook food & tea for his friends as well as serve them beer during any important game for all the days of your life?

(I do? .... )

Well then, I now pronounce you husband and wife. What God has joined, let no man, neighbour, handsome workmate, barmaid, beer brand, ex's, in-laws, milkman, shamba-boy, driver or sexy secretary put asunder. You may kiss the bride...

Now that is what I call pure honesty!