Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Ace ventura in "When nature calls"
Ace Ventura: Tell them what I'm saying. [faces the Wachootoo] I come in peace!

Ouda: [in poorly-translated Wachootoo] White Devil say, "I will harm you." [The Wachootoo look suspicious]

Ace: [to Ouda] I couldn't help but notice the "equinsu ocha" part. Did you just refer to me as "white devil"?

Ouda: This how they know you.

Ace: Leave that part out from now on! [to Wachootoo] I represent the princess!

Ouda: [in poorly-translated Wachootoo] "I am a Princess." [tribesmen look confused; one young man eyes Ace with interest]

Ace: War is hell. The last thing we want... is a fight!

If you missed this, alright then sorry!


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Leo ndio nimeamini kuwa sukari inatokana na miwa, maana kuna Mpemba anatengeza juisi ya miwa hapa jirani, nimemsubiri sana nimuone akiweka sukari lakini mpaka nimechoka naona haweki leo sukari imekwisha nyumbani, kesho wakichemsha chai nitawaambia wakamulie miwa

ᴾᵘⁿⁱˢʰ ᵒⁿˡʸ ʰᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᶜᵒᵐᵐⁱᵗᵗᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʳⁱᵐᵉ
 
Use brain Heriel said:
Faida 3 za uvutaji wa sigara
FAIDA KUU TATU ZA SIGARA
1. Mvuta sigara hazeeki
2. Mvuta sigara haumwi na mbwa
3. Mvuta sigara nyumbani kwake haingii mwizi

UFAFANUZI

1. Hazeeki kwa sababu hufa mapema kwa kifua kikuu

2. Haumwi na mbwa kwa vile kifua na mapafu yanapooza na hulazimika kutembea na bakora

3. Nyumbani kwake haingii mwizi kwa kuwa inafika wakati ambapo halali:
atakohoa usiku kucha hivyo mwizi anajua yupo macho
kumbe kikohozi tu!

Click to expand...
 
Kirokonya said:
Boy dropped girl at home, he put his
hand on the wall by the gate for support, leaned
towards her.
BOY : Can I kiss you?
GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
BOY : Pleeeeeeease!
GIRL: No.
BOY : You were too sweet in bed today.
GIRL: Woooow! You too, full of energy. I could not
believe we did it four times!
BOY : Let me kiss you good night.
GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think
I'm a virgin at home.
....
This goes on for ten minutes, then the girl's
brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says
whether you kiss him or not, it's your decision, but
tell that bastard to remove his hand from the
intercom button, everyone in the house is
listening to your conversation and you are disturbing the prayer session....



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Click to expand...
 
Careem said:
What is KISIRANI?
KISIRANI is when you give a beautiful girl a lift
and she faints in your car. You take her to the
hospital and when you get there, the doctor says
she's pregnant and congratulates you that you are
going to be father very soon. You then shout that
you are not the father and the girl says you are the
father....
Things are now getting KISIRANIFUL. You require a
DNA test to prove you are not the father...
Things are now getting KISIRANISTIC when the doctor
comes with the result saying you cannot be a father
because you are infertile... You are relieved, but on
your way home you remember you are married with
three kids at home!...
Now you are extremely KISIRANIOUS.
Now, you begin to ask yourself who is the father of
those kids... You get home to find out that the
gateman is their real father. You are now
KISIRANED.
You decided to travel home to complain to your
mother about the latest development.. And your
mum with tears running down her cheeks tells you,
my son, I'm so sorry your dad ain't really your dad...
Then you know that things are now KISIRANICATED
And if u dont laugh you are KISIRANILISIOUS
Click to expand...
I laughed on myself post

ᴾᵘⁿⁱˢʰ ᵒⁿˡʸ ʰᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᶜᵒᵐᵐⁱᵗᵗᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʳⁱᵐᵉ
 
Kirokonya said:
Boy dropped girl at home, he put his
hand on the wall by the gate for support, leaned
towards her.
BOY : Can I kiss you?
GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
BOY : Pleeeeeeease!
GIRL: No.
BOY : You were too sweet in bed today.
GIRL: Woooow! You too, full of energy. I could not
believe we did it four times!
BOY : Let me kiss you good night.
GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think
I'm a virgin at home.
....
This goes on for ten minutes, then the girl's
brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says
whether you kiss him or not, it's your decision, but
tell that bastard to remove his hand from the
intercom button, everyone in the house is
listening to your conversation and you are disturbing the prayer session....



Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
Click to expand...
Kwe kwe kwee

Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
 
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