Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Nipo kwa Azizi ali likapita daladala la makumbusho, konda akawa ananadi "Makumbusho x2" mara akaniuliza "kaka unakwenda Makumbusho?" Dah! Nilimjibu kwa upole tu "Mpeleke bibi yako" nikiwa na stress zangu huwa sipendi mtu anisumbue

"ᴬ ᵐᵃⁿ ʷʰᵒ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈˢ ᶠᵒʳ ⁿᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ʷⁱˡˡ ᶠᵃˡˡ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ"
 
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Kuna sehemu nilienda nikanywa Bia ndogo za Serengeti 8 .. Alafu nimeenda bar nyingine nimekunywa serengeti 4 kubwa. Sasa kuna mtu ananiuliza nimekunywa bia ngapi .. Sijui nimuambie bia ngapi ... Hivi zile ndogo ni Nusu bia au bia kamili.
 
Last night, 2Face...called me to ask me
if i can go out with him, i refused
because i
was busy with Olamide.
This mornin, Yemi Alade video chatted
me on instagram to know if i can hangout
with her, i blocked her immediately
because she's ugly
. 5 minutes ago.....Davido sent 30
billion to
my account without letting me know,
i angrily send it back because i don't
need it. Last night lil Wayne gave me a
cheque with left hand and I rejected it.
I DONT TAKE NONSENSE
.
Now, my phone is ringing, CAN YOU GUESS WHO'S CALLING
ME??

Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
 


1: I will never buy film from street hawkers again.. Today i bought IRON MAN from one of the street hawkers, when i played it on my DVD it was showing a man IRONING his shirt
I just switched off the TV and cried for 2hours

2: U won't know that u are a fine boy untill u are caught stealing in the market that's when people will start saying, "ah, eyah, this kind fine boy na thief....

3: Stop taking picture near people's car before ur village people will kill u thinking u have made it in life

4: U are slim, ur girlfriend is slim, when u both walk and holding hands.....u will be looking like capital letter H


5: It's always "Mama i made it" what about Papa that didn't use condom? Ungrateful children

6: When ur girlfriend is very lazy in doing house chores but very good in bed, ur family members will be complaining and u will be like "hmmm, u people don't know this girl well oo"

7:Dear tall people
Don't be tall for nothing
Help us check who will win this 2020 Election

8: Devil: young man what brings u here?
Man: I masturbated with anointing oil
Devil:
God: Jesus come and see that wasted sperm I was talking about

9:
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You can't view this message because ASUU is still on strike

10: She said she knows me well so i said ok if u knw me how many hairs do i have in my anus

11: Black people should stop praying in English, i heard someone saying "Lord i forgive u

12: If having sex is a school no man would have miss class especially we Africans.....

13: Satan couldn't come to Earth himself so he sent those girls with big bum bum

14: If a lady refuse to respond to ur messages inbox, just go to her timeline and post "Thanks u for last night, i appreciate" then wait for her at ur inbox she's coming...
Chaiii sense overdose

15: Behind every loud music in a guy's room there's a lady's voice shouting "harder baby"
...........

16: Fada lurd, i dan do my work finish, u said i shud b making pipo to laff and fall inside gutter and i have done it... U see those heartless pipo wey dia job na to read without liking my post and as well drop a comment, fada lurd blind dia eyes so dat they won't see my post again


Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
 
Ubuhuuuhujkjjjjjjj.j
Okay, kumbe unaielewa hali yako!
Karibu..

Niliwahi kusikia kuwa maji na mafuta havichangamani, na pia mafuta huwa yanaelea juu ya maji... Basi jana mimi nikaamua kupaka mafuta mengi tu miguuni kisha nikaingia baharini ili niweze kutembea juu ya maji maana nilihisi ningeelea na kuweza kufanya chochote.
Sikumbuki nini kilitokea lakini nilijikuta nimelala mchangani watu wakiwa wamenizunguka huku wakisema niwashukuru sana wavuvi. Nadhani watakuwa wamenipa samaki wa bure.

Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
 
Okay, kumbe unaielewa hali yako!
Karibu..

Niliwahi kusikia kuwa maji na mafuta havichangamani, na pia mafuta huwa yanaelea juu ya maji... Basi jana mimi nikaamua kupaka mafuta mengi tu miguuni kisha nikaingia baharini ili niweze kutembea juu ya maji maana nilihisi ningeelea na kuweza kufanya chochote.
Sikumbuki nini kilitokea lakini nilijikuta nimelala mchangani watu wakiwa wamenizunguka huku wakisema niwashukuru sana wavuvi. Nadhani watakuwa wamenipa samaki wa bure.
Khufu jjjjjjhhhjljj.hi


Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
 
Last night, 2Face...called me to ask me
if i can go out with him, i refused
because i
was busy with Olamide.
This mornin, Yemi Alade video chatted
me on instagram to know if i can hangout
with her, i blocked her immediately
because she's ugly
. 5 minutes ago.....Davido sent 30
billion to
my account without letting me know,
i angrily send it back because i don't
need it. Last night lil Wayne gave me a
cheque with left hand and I rejected it.
I DONT TAKE NONSENSE
.
Now, my phone is ringing, CAN YOU GUESS WHO'S CALLING
ME??

Sent using Jamii Forums mobile app
I guess its your girlfriends call and she gonna ask you about her days seems like she misses her days

"ᵂᵒʳʳʸ ⁱˢ ᵃ ʷᵒʳᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵃˡˡᵒʷ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ"
 
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