Je, Unataka Kumuoa Mchagga? | JamiiForums | The Home of Great Thinkers

Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Je, Unataka Kumuoa Mchagga?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by BigMan, Sep 11, 2007.

  1. B

    BigMan JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 11, 2007
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
    Messages: 1,092
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 133
    For those who are not chaggas - no comment!

    There is no Chagga tribe but just different groups of people living around that mountain of Kilimanjaro with the following characteristics:

    WAMACHAME: Huwezi kujua nani mwanamke na ni nani mwanaume. Kila kitu ni pesa. Yaani hata kama ni mkeo wa ndoa inakuwa hivi " kama hutoi pesa ya mbege ndoa yangu sikupi babangu" Basi kule Machame chakula cha ndoa au nimesemaje? Kufanya mapenzi ni kwa kipimo, ukiwa katikati mama amakwambia stoooooop! Hapo shilingi hamsini zako ndio zimekwisha, ukitaka ongeza ndio uendelee. Said unasikia nasema MKE WA NDOA!

    WAKIBOSHO: Specialized bandits. Akina Mama wakiwa wanatoa soga na mwenzie utawasikia hivi" Yaani Dadangu we acha tu yule Alex wangu siku hizi amepefuka kweli, ana akili we acha tu! Haibi tena mfukoni siku hisi ameunda kundi lake la ujambasi, Krisimasi hii lasima nitaletewa fitenge file fya Kongo. Ladies likewise AKIOLEWA NA KYASAKA baba na mama wanamwambia " hivi wewe huyu mwanaume kwani ni ndugu yako ? Leta hizo pesa sake tujengee huku kwetu Manka!!

    WAURU: Very boring people, wakikaa ni kuonge kuhusu shule

    tuuuuuuuuu, masomo, digrii Yaani yukanoti bilivu! Babu wa miaka 70 bado madaftari yake ya primary ameweka sandukuni!! Atawaonyesha wajukuu zake " Ona hand writing yangu ilivyokuwa nzuri wakati nafundishwa na Father Wilson Payatt. Wanakumbuka majina ya waalimu wao hasa wazungu tangu chekechea. Wanamwogopa sana Mungu. Kengele ya KANISANI ikilia saa sita utaona wazee wote kilabuni wanaamka na kusali sala ya mchana ndio wanaendelea kunywa mbege.

    WA-OlD MOSHI: Actually Mama Mkapa ni beauty Queen kule kwao. Yaani mimi sisemi Said nenda kachague wewe mwenyewe. Wanaume niwabishi!
    Wanakunywa kisusio cha Nguruwe!! Na Gongo nyingiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    WAMARANGU: Wanaume wote ni waongo. Actually kuna somo la "jinsi ya kudanganya" shule zote za primary kule Marangu. Both wanaume na

    Wanawake maisha ni raha tupu. Kwa Mmarangu halisi, kwanza ananunua gari, anachapa maisha, nae
    kulala kwenye gari wakati kodi ya nyumba inamshinda ni jambo la kawaida.

    WAROMBO: Kazi mtindo mmoja! Wanawake tunawaita "KUBOTA" aina ya matrekta waliyosambazwa Kilimanjaro na Wajapani. Watafutaji wa pesa!!!! We acha tu. Lakini ukimchezea anakuua na kukimbilia Kenya .

    Rafiki yangu Said uamue mwenyewe lakini kwa ushauri mwepesi mwepesi nenda
    Uru (wasomi) au Rombo (wachapa kazi).
     
  2. k

    kidumeso Member

    #2
    Sep 11, 2007
    Joined: Mar 23, 2007
    Messages: 49
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    We bigman, yani unkuwa kama umepagawa na akili mimi nimeoa mchaga kutoka kibosho lakini mbona sijaona hayo, na badala yake mimi kwetu ndio kuna zidi kuwa super.
     
  3. B

    BigMan JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 11, 2007
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
    Messages: 1,092
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 133
    Mhh Kidumeso Kwani Unashindwa Kuelewa Takwimu Jinsi Zinavyoweza Kutoa Majibu ? Ukifanya Sensa Wasiokuwa Na Sifa Hizo Ni Asilimia Kumi Na Kati Ya Hizo Kumi Na Mkeo Yumo Ndani,hongera Sana
     
  4. H

    Humble Servant Member

    #4
    Sep 12, 2007
    Joined: Aug 2, 2007
    Messages: 87
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 13
    duh!this thing is very funny!mimi hawa watu ni watu wangu wa karibu sana but i cant say for sure kama inatokea hivi!lakini chochote kinawezekana kwa tabia hizi kwa jinsi wanavyo ijua pesa! hili la uongo kwakweli ninaushahidi kuna mtoto wa kimarangu ni muungo usiombe genge zima linamjua kiasi kwamba habari yeyote anayo toa must be cross checked to other sources
     
  5. Nzokanhyilu

    Nzokanhyilu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 12, 2007
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
    Messages: 1,088
    Likes Received: 15
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mbuuutaaaaaa!!
     
  6. mashoo

    mashoo Member

    #6
    Sep 13, 2007
    Joined: Jul 25, 2007
    Messages: 66
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Kiruuuuu,
    Unaambiwa "kelele za chura hazimzuii ng'ombe kunywa maji"
    Wachagga ndio kwanza wanapeta pamoja na kasoro zote mnazowapatia
    na wanaume wanajua pa kwenda kama wanataka maisha yawanyookee isn't it???? mwanamke akili za maisha na sio kujaza choo tu...
     
  7. B

    BigMan JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 13, 2007
    Joined: Feb 19, 2007
    Messages: 1,092
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 133
    jamaa wanataja sababu kadhaa za mabenki na maduka ya kubadirishia fedha mkoa wa kilimanjaro kupigwa mara kwa mara na majambazi ya moshi kutoka kenya na moja ya sababu wenyeji wa hapo yaani wachagga kuijua fedha kuliko chochote duniani na hivyo kuwa rahisi kwa kutumia fedha kidogo kuweza kupata informations za ndani ya taasisi hizo za fedha bila ya mikingamo je ni kweli tathimini hiyo ? kama ni kweli basi mtaendelea kupeta
     
  8. Ole

    Ole JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 13, 2007
    Joined: Dec 16, 2006
    Messages: 751
    Likes Received: 4
    Trophy Points: 135
    We bigman tumekusikia mkuu yaani hapa nimecheka sina mbavu.
     
  9. Kyakya

    Kyakya JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 5, 2009
    Joined: Apr 24, 2009
    Messages: 397
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35
    Kuna mahala nimeona hii habari nikaona si vyema ikakupita kama nawe bado ujaiona!!! Kama tayari well and goodÂ…

    There is no Chagga tribe but just different groups of people living around that mountain of Kilimanjaro with the following characteristics:

    WAMACHAME: Huwezi kujua nani mwanamke na ni nani mwanaume. Kila kitu ni pesa. Yaani hata kama ni mkeo wa ndoa inakuwa hivi " kama hutoi pesa ya mbege ndoa yangu sikupi babangu" Basi kule Machame chakula cha ndoa au nimesemaje? Kufanya mapenzi ni kwa kipimo, ukiwa katikati mama amakwambia stoooooop! Hapo shilingi hamsini zako ndio zimekwisha, ukitaka ongeza ndio uendelee. Said unasikia nasema MKE WA NDOA!

    WAKIBOSHO: Specialized bandits. Akina Mama wakiwa wanatoa soga na mwenzie utawasikia hivi" Yaani Dadangu we acha tu yule Alex wangu siku hizi amepefuka kweli, ana akili we acha tu! Haibi tena mfukoni siku hisi ameunda kundi lake la ujambasi, Krisimasi hii lasima nitaletewa fitenge file fya Kongo. Ladies likewise AKIOLEWA NA KYASAKA baba na mama wanamwambia " hivi wewe huyu mwanaume kwani ni ndugu yako ? Leta hizo pesa sake tujengee huku kwetu Manka!!

    WAURU: Very boring people, wakikaa ni kuonge kuhusu shule tuuuuuuuuu, masomo, digrii Yaani yukanoti bilivu! Babu wa miaka 70 bado madaftari yake ya primary ameweka sandukuni!! Atawaonyesha wajukuu zake " Ona hand writing yangu ilivyokuwa nzuri wakati nafundishwa na Father Wilson Payatt. Wanakumbuka majina ya waalimu wao hasa wazungu tangu chekechea. Wanamwogopa sana Mungu. Kengele ya KANISANI ikilia saa sita utaona wazee wote kilabuni wanaamka na kusali sala ya mchana ndio wanaendelea kunywa mbege.

    WA-OLD MOSHI: Actually Mama Mkapa ni beauty Queen kule kwao. Yaani mimi sisemi Said nenda kachague wewe mwenyewe. Wanaume niwabishi! Wanakunywa kisusio cha Nguruwe!! Na Gongo nyingiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    WAMARANGU: Wanaume wote ni waongo. Actually kuna somo la "jinsi ya kudanganya" shule zote za primary kule Marangu. Both wanaume na Wanawake maisha ni raha tupu. Kwa Mmarangu halisi, kwanza ananunua gari, anachapa maisha, nae kulala kwenye gari wakati kodi ya nyumba inamshinda ni jambo la kawaida.

    WAROMBO: Kazi mtindo mmoja! Wanawake tunawaita "KUBOTA" aina ya matrekta waliyosambazwa Kilimanjaro na Wajapani. Watafutaji wa pesa!!!! We acha tu. Lakini ukimchezea anakuua na kukimbilia Kenya .

    Rafiki yangu mwana-JF amua mwenyewe lakini waweza enda Rombo (wachapa kazi) au Uru (wasomi).
     
  10. M

    MzalendoHalisi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 5, 2009
    Joined: Jun 24, 2007
    Messages: 3,856
    Likes Received: 106
    Trophy Points: 160
    Du sasa kati ya hao: ni nani warembo zaidi?
     
  11. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 6, 2009
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
    Messages: 8,777
    Likes Received: 85
    Trophy Points: 145
    Warembo zaidi ni wale wa kule kwetu..
     
  12. Shoo Gap

    Shoo Gap JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 6, 2009
    Joined: Mar 11, 2009
    Messages: 233
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 35
    Du!
    Hii ina furahisha sana, nilikuwa nashangaa jinsi mabinti wengi wanavyoolewa kwa harusi hapa mjini Bongo, nikawa na maswali mengiiii.....i. Kwa nini wao tu? Wana nini cha zaidi?
    Nimeanza kujua sababu sasa; Weakness zao ziko wazi, zinafahamika. Kwa hiyo wanaume wanakubali kuwa ni heri huyu ninayejua udhaifu wake kuliko hawa wengine wenye madhaifu lakini hayajulikani wazi. Endeleeni kuweka wazi weakness za dada wa Kichaga ili waendelee kupata soko.
    NAWASILISHA
    Mtani wao
     
  13. S

    Shangazi JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 6, 2009
    Joined: Mar 24, 2009
    Messages: 307
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0

    Nafikiri hizo nyingi ni strengths na nawashauri wa kusini wenzangu muende kuwowa hako. Wadada wa kichaga ni bomba na siku hizi nasikia wanajifunza penzi hivyo wako fiti idara zote yaani figure, sura na love. We mtani ni mpare? dada zako mbona husemi?:)
     
  14. N

    Nsololi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Mar 8, 2007
    Messages: 253
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 35
    NDUGU WANA jf, PATA JOKES KIDOGO BAADA YA MAMBO MAZITO YA SIASA
    MCHAGGA NI YUPI HASA?

    There is no Chagga tribe but just different groups of people living on the southern slopes of Mount of Kilimanjaro with the following characteristics:


    WAMACHAME (Business entrepreneurs)
    Huwezi kujua nani mwanamke na ni nani mwanaume. Kila kitu ni pesa. Yaani hata kama ni mkeo wa ndoa inakuwa hivi " kama hutoi pesa ya mbege ndoa yangu sikupi babangu" Basi kule Machame chakula cha ndoa au nimesemaje? Kufanya mapenzi ni kwa kipimo. Ukiwa katikati mama anakwambia STOOOOOOP! Hapo shilingi Elfu 20 zako ndio zimekwisha; Ukitaka ongezandio uendelee. Yahye, unasikia nasema MKE WA NDOA! Wamachame hao! Uchumba tu, lazima upeleke Kapati la mbeho!

    WAKIBOSHO (Specialized bandits)
    Mama akiwa anapiga soga na mwenziwe utawasikia hivi"Yaani Dadangu, we acha tu yule Alex wangu siku hisi amepefuka kweli; Ana akili we acha tu! Haibi tena mfukoni siku hisi, ameunda kundi lake la ujambasi, Krisimasi hii lasima nitaletewa fitenge file fya Kongo. Binti naye, AKIOLEWA NA KYASAKA, baba na mama wanamwambia " Hivi wewe huyu mwanaume kwani ni ndugu yako ? Leta hizo pesa sake tujengee huku kwetu Manka!!

    WAURU (The Elites)
    Very boring people, wakikaa ni kuongea kuhusu shule tuuuuuuuuu, masomo, digrii. Yaani yukanoti bilivu! Babu wa miaka 70 bado madaftari yake ya primary ameweka sandukuni!! Atawaonyesha wajukuu zake wote: "Ona hand writing yangu ilivyokuwa nzuri wakati nafundishwa na Father Wilson Payatt. Wanakumbuka majina ya waalimu wao hasa wazungu tangu chekechea.Uzuri wao, wanamwogopa sana Mungu. Kengele ya KANISANI ikilia saa sita mchana utaona wazee wote kilabuni wanaamka na kusali sala ya mchana ndio wanaendelea kunywa mbege.Wanapenda maparachichi hao! We acha tu!!

    WA OLD MOSHI (The Mechanics)!
    Actually Mama Mkapa ni beauty Queen kule kwao. Yaani mimi sisemi we nenda kachague mwenyewe.Taabu, Wanaume ni wabishi! Kama mkia wa mbuzi!Wanakunywa kisusio hata cha Nguruwe!! Na Gongonyingiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiii (Wenyewe waita Crysta-pen!)

    WAMARANGU (The handsome liars)!
    Wanaume wote ni waongo. Actually kuna somola "jinsi ya kudanganya" shule zote za primary kule Marangu. Both wanaume na Wanawake maisha ni raha tupu.Kwa Mmarangu halisi, kwanza ananunua gari, anachapamaisha, nae kulala kwenye gari wakati kodi ya nyumbainamshinda ni jambo la kawaida.

    WAROMBO: (The salesmen)!
    Kazi mtindo mmoja! Hawana tofauti ni kuruti wa Jeshi!Wanawake tunawaita "KUBOTA" aina ya matrekta waliyosambazwa Kilimanjaro na Wajapani miaka ya 1970. Watafutaji wa pesa!!!! We acha tu. Wahindi hawaoni ndani!Lakini ukimchezea anakuua na kukimbilia Kenya kupitia Tarakea.Ushauri wa bure! Rafiki yangu uamue mwenyewe lakini kwa ushaurimwepesi mwepesi nenda Uru (wasomi) au Rombo (wachapakazi) . Chaguo ni lako
     
  15. Utingo

    Utingo JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Messages: 7,012
    Likes Received: 48
    Trophy Points: 145
    mchagga origino ni wa kiraeni-oldmoshi +Uru.
     
  16. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
    Messages: 13,588
    Likes Received: 338
    Trophy Points: 180
    ok, got ya! Teamo ukirudi kutoka segerea please tueleze mshiki ni kubota au msomi.
     
  17. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
    Messages: 1,917
    Likes Received: 2
    Trophy Points: 135
    am proud to be mchaga wa marangu!!!!
     
  18. Jile79

    Jile79 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: May 28, 2009
    Messages: 9,953
    Likes Received: 1,048
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kishumundu ndiyo wachaga originali
     
  19. l

    lily JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 20, 2010
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Messages: 229
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    mrombo mie, we am so proud, na naitafuta pesa haswa!
     
  20. S

    Seekype Member

    #20
    Oct 21, 2010
    Joined: Aug 5, 2010
    Messages: 21
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mimi ni half caste wa marangu na old Moshi. sijakubaliana na defn zako kabisaa..
    Mchaga hashindwi kodi, we are fighters na hata tukielekea kushindwa tunasaidiana maana tuna umoja sana.

    Mpeni mchagga nchi muone investments zitakavyoongezeka si kama wengine kazi kutabasamu na kuombaomba tu misaada dunia nzima. Ni maoni tu...
     
Loading...