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How do you know if you married the right person?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ngo, Nov 21, 2010.

  1. N

    Ngo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 21, 2010
    Joined: May 25, 2010
    Messages: 284
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    Ndoa nayo ni kazi kama kazi nyingine, Inahitaji commitment ili Upendo, Uaminifu na Amani viweze kuwepo. Lasivyo Inabakia kujilaumu na kuiona Ndoa Chungu.

    EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
    you fell in love with your spouse. You
    anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
    liked their idiosyncrasies.

    Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In
    fact, it was a completely spontaneous
    experience. You didn't have to DO anything.
    That's why it's called "falling" in love - because
    it's happening TO YOU.

    People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my
    feet." Think about the imagery of that
    expression. It implies that you were just
    standing there; doing nothing, and then something
    came along and happened TO YOU.

    Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and
    spontaneous experience.

    But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria
    of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY
    relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
    [​IMG] become a bother (if they come at all), touch is
    not always welcome (when it happens), and your
    spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
    drive you nuts.

    The symptoms of this stage vary with every
    relationship, but if you think about your
    marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
    between the initial stage when you were in love
    and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

    At this point, you and/or your spouse might start
    asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as
    you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
    the love you once had, you may begin to desire
    that experience with someone else. This is when
    marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse
    for their unhappiness and look outside their
    marriage for fulfillment. Hili ni suruhisho?

    Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
    sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But
    sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
    friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

    But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie
    outside your marriage. It lies within it.

    I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love
    with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY
    you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
    situation a few years later. Because (listen
    carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN
    MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
    LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

    [​IMG]
    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
    experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You
    can't "find" LASTING love.
    You have to "make" it day in and day out.
    That's why we have the
    expression "the labor of love." Because it takes
    time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
    it takes WISDOM. .


    Hapo kwenye bold- Kutojuwa maana halisi ya ndoa ndo tatizo kwa wengi.
    Kutegemea itakuwa raha mstarehee bila mawimbi, kutojidhatiti na kutowajibika kwa wanandoa kuimalisha ndoa inabaki kusukumiana makosa kwa mwenzi wako.
     
  2. w

    wikama Member

    #2
    Nov 21, 2010
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
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    ukimwomba mungu kwa dhati na imani atakupa mke/mume mzuri, unajua biadamu ni mtu wa kubadilika kila sekunde hivyo kuwa makini na kama ulivyo sema ndoa ni kazi kama kazi nyingine it might be true !
     
  3. Speaker

    Speaker JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 22, 2010
    Joined: Aug 12, 2010
    Messages: 6,358
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    kuna jumla ya mambo mawili (kwa mujibu wa mahesabu yangu)
    1.maisha ya uchumba
    2.maisha ya ndoa

    maisha ya uchumba ndio yanaashiria jinsi maisha ya ndoa yatakavo kuwa,
    kama uchumba ulikuwa mchungu kama shubiri,hamna hata haja ya kwenda katika ndoa maana huko itakuwa balaa!

    So,utajua umeoa mke /mme sahihi kutokana na mlipeana mda kiasi gani kufahamiana!

    (mtazamo wangu na ndivo navo endesha love life yangu)
     
  4. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #4
    Nov 22, 2010
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
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    very beautifully poem.... thank you....
    when i find my Prince Chaim
    will take some of that in consideration ...
    lol:angel:
     
  5. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 22, 2010
    Joined: Jul 14, 2010
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    A good piece of an article
     
  6. Mom

    Mom JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 22, 2010
    Joined: Oct 13, 2009
    Messages: 708
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    Maisha ya uchumba mara nyingi huwa ni mazuri kila mtu anajaribu kumridhisha mwenzie mpo wawili tu, kamwe hayawezi kufanana na ya ndoa. so usitegemee maisha ya uchumba yakawa sawa na ya ndoa
     
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