Hivi umewahi kuhisi kuna upendeleo wa baadhi ya watoto kwenye familia yenu?

[princess ariana]

Yakobo alikua mtoto wa mama mda wote anadeka na ukimya ndio maana mamake akampenda sana

Muda wote yuko jikoni mpaka chakula kinanuka ndevu Afu uolewe na mtoto wa mama utajua hujui

 

[lady Jay]

Ndugu yangu wa kwanza alipendwa sana,na wadogo zangu pia,mie nilikuwa nachukuliwa kama mtu bwege bwege hv,na kilichoniuma ni wazazi kuona ni kitu Cha kawaida kunitamkia kuwa mie ni mjinga mjinga,kubwa jinga huku wanacheka,wakichukulia kama utani,kitu kibaya kikifanyika,wa kwanza kushukiwa ni mie,hii kitu iliniuma sana na inauma sana mpaka leo,matokeo yake nilianza kujenga roho ya kuwa independent nikiwa mdogo sana,nikaona hapa kitu pekee Cha kuniokoa ni kitabu,nilisoma sana hakuna aliyeweza kunifikia kwa uhodari kwa ndugu zangu,nilibamiza mitiani na ndugu zangu hakuna aliyeweza kuwa na mafanikio ya kitaaluma kama Mimi.
Tumeishakuwa watu wazima,lakini kwa madhara yale ya kubaguliwa nikiwa mtoto huwa Sina uchungu na mapenzi kwa wazazi kabisa,mpaka wenzangu huwa wanashangaa,nikisikia mtu anasema anampenda mama yake kuliko kitu chochote,huwa nashangaa sana,sasa hv nimeishakuwa mzazi najitahidi sana kuonyesha mapenzi Sawa kwa kila mtoto wangu,kila mtoto Nampa nafasi ya kuwa anavyotaka yeye sio kulazimisha awe kama wenzie.

Aise kumbe tuko wengi

 

[lady Jay]

Ndugu yangu wa kwanza alipendwa sana,na wadogo zangu pia,mie nilikuwa nachukuliwa kama mtu bwege bwege hv,na kilichoniuma ni wazazi kuona ni kitu Cha kawaida kunitamkia kuwa mie ni mjinga mjinga,kubwa jinga huku wanacheka,wakichukulia kama utani,kitu kibaya kikifanyika,wa kwanza kushukiwa ni mie,hii kitu iliniuma sana na inauma sana mpaka leo,matokeo yake nilianza kujenga roho ya kuwa independent nikiwa mdogo sana,nikaona hapa kitu pekee Cha kuniokoa ni kitabu,nilisoma sana hakuna aliyeweza kunifikia kwa uhodari kwa ndugu zangu,nilibamiza mitiani na ndugu zangu hakuna aliyeweza kuwa na mafanikio ya kitaaluma kama Mimi.
Tumeishakuwa watu wazima,lakini kwa madhara yale ya kubaguliwa nikiwa mtoto huwa Sina uchungu na mapenzi kwa wazazi kabisa,mpaka wenzangu huwa wanashangaa,nikisikia mtu anasema anampenda mama yake kuliko kitu chochote,huwa nashangaa sana,sasa hv nimeishakuwa mzazi najitahidi sana kuonyesha mapenzi Sawa kwa kila mtoto wangu,kila mtoto Nampa nafasi ya kuwa anavyotaka yeye sio kulazimisha awe kama wenzie.

Kuna wakati unapitia mambo magumu mpaka unajiuliza , hivi nina wazazi kweli?

 

[cariha]

Muda wote yuko jikoni mpaka chakula kinanuka ndevu Afu uolewe na mtoto wa mama utajua hujui

na watoto wa mama mda wote kudeka ukimnyima papuchi anaenda kukusemea kwa mamake

 

[cariha]

Je unahitaji mtoto?

Yes nahitaji sana

 

[cariha]

Ndiyo ni kitu kizuri ila haipaswi tu kuonyesha interest zako wazi wazi unawaumiza hawa wengine wanakuwa wana feel ignored..!!

Hilo ni swala halikwepeki maana hata huyo mtoto ndio huonyesha interest wazi hata nikija mfano nyumbani hunikimbilia na kunipokea kwa furaha huku wengine wako busy na mambo yao, watoto huji feel bad kama unakuwa na vitu unakuwa unampa mtu mmoja huku unaacha wengine to me huwa nafanya equality kwa wote bila kupendelea yoyote so hata wao hujua Sina shida, and I love them all but one of them ni my favorite sana na wao wanajua kabisa huniambia rafiki yako au pacha wako huyo

 

[britanicca]

Watoto na wazaz wa siku mmekaa kindez ndez kijinga jinga..Et mtoto anakua hayuko sawa kisa hajaonyeshwa upendo..upumbavu huu wenu mnaojifanya wasomi..et na wewe umeambiwa tu "i was nit their best....blah blah" ukajiskia vibaya..au ni kingereza ndio kilikuchanganya?? Pumbavu sana huv nyie vitoto mngekulia kwenye family zile za kizaman tulizokulia sisi si mngekufa before age?? Na kwa mind set hii no wonder mnatengeneza kizaz cha kishenz na nyie watoto mnajiweka near poverty line... wakongwe wenzangu wanalijua hili. Kwenye family mko watoto 18 huo muda wa kuonyeshana upendo unatoka wapi?au wewe kama mtoto huo muda wa kuchunguzwa unapendwa au hupendwi unautoa wapi?? Na sometimea watoto wengine wanalelewa katika mazingira kabisa akijua hapendwi ila ndio inampa changamoto ya kujipambania na kujisimamia na kujitetea dhidi ya uonevu toka kwa wenzake....

Achen watoto kuwalea katika namna ambayo watashindwa kujisimamia hala baadae wajifiche kwenye kivuli hicho cha " nilikua sipendwi".

Endeleen tu kutengeneza kizaz cha kishoga shoga wapuuz nyie...

😂

 

[Abrianna]

Ahsante C'ssy kwa mfano mzuri kabisa, na I just can't imagine huo upendo aliokuja kupata mtoto wa aunt..! Maana kama auntie yako alipendwa sana, otomatik anakuwa na ujazo flani hivi wa upendo wa kutosha yaani na wote anammwagia the only child, uwwiiiih'.!

Yeah ukweli anapata mapenzi yote kutoka kwa baba na mama, na hata wakiondoka leo basi watamwacha pazuri ila mimi i really find it difficult kuwa na mtoto mmoja

 

[suzie _barbie]

na watoto wa mama mda wote kudeka ukimnyima papuchi anaenda kukusemea kwa mamake

 

[That Gentleman]

Watoto na wazaz wa siku mmekaa kindez ndez kijinga jinga..Et mtoto anakua hayuko sawa kisa hajaonyeshwa upendo..upumbavu huu wenu mnaojifanya wasomi..et na wewe umeambiwa tu "i was nit their best....blah blah" ukajiskia vibaya..au ni kingereza ndio kilikuchanganya?? Pumbavu sana huv nyie vitoto mngekulia kwenye family zile za kizaman tulizokulia sisi si mngekufa before age?? Na kwa mind set hii no wonder mnatengeneza kizaz cha kishenz na nyie watoto mnajiweka near poverty line... wakongwe wenzangu wanalijua hili. Kwenye family mko watoto 18 huo muda wa kuonyeshana upendo unatoka wapi?au wewe kama mtoto huo muda wa kuchunguzwa unapendwa au hupendwi unautoa wapi?? Na sometimea watoto wengine wanalelewa katika mazingira kabisa akijua hapendwi ila ndio inampa changamoto ya kujipambania na kujisimamia na kujitetea dhidi ya uonevu toka kwa wenzake....

Achen watoto kuwalea katika namna ambayo watashindwa kujisimamia hala baadae wajifiche kwenye kivuli hicho cha " nilikua sipendwi".

Endeleen tu kutengeneza kizaz cha kishoga shoga wapuuz nyie...

Uzungu ukiwa mwingi inakuwa shida....

 

[BAK]

Yes, Your Parents Have a Favorite Child—Here’s What Happens When It’s Not You

Erin Bunch Erin Bunch
Many parents have a favorite child, and it's not always bad

My little brother and I recently engaged in a heated conversation about who’s the favorite child between us and our two other siblings. We’re all grown adults, yet this debate has been ongoing for as long as I can remember. My mom, for one, denies any favoritism, but I suspect she’s trying to shield us from the rather obvious truth: she loves my eldest brother most.

Science says I might be right, at least in terms of the fact that she has a favorite period. Clinical psychologist Alexander Bingham, PhD, says real research backs up the notion that parents prefer one kid. In one 2005 longitudinal study, for example, 74 percent of mothers admitted to having a favorite child while 70 percent of fathers confessed to such a preference. So, odds are good that my parents—and yours, too—prefer one of their kids over the others.


Dr. Bingham says this favoritism happens for the same reasons all humans prefer certain people, and those reasons, he explains, tend to fall into one of two buckets: neurotic and healthy. In psychoanalytic theory, a neurotic need is something an individual develops to protect themselves (like, for example, a need for approval as a means to stave off anxiety). “For neurotic reasons, any person will like or favor people who pander to their neurotic needs and dislike people who do not do so,” Dr. Bingham says. “If/when these needs are not met, the favoritism ends, replaced by dislike and/or another person who will meet their neurotic needs.” This type of favoritism, he says, is not healthy. Rather, healthy favoritism springs from the feeling that a relationship meets certain healthy needs or expectations more so than another relationship. In other words, some parents may (even if just mildly) may favor a child simply because they have a better relationship with that child.

Some parents may (even if just mildly) may favor a child simply because they have a better relationship with that child.
Research published by the Journal of Marriage and Family points to a host of additional factors that may contribute to a parent’s preference as well. These include the closeness of their relationship with that child as well as the degree to which that child’s values align with theirs, how proud they are of that child, and more. Clinical psychologist Laurie Kramer, PhD, also points to evidence of systematic favoritism on the basis of birth order and gender. For example, the research suggests dads are more likely to favor female children, and first-born parents are more likely to favor their first-born child.

Unfortunately (but not surprisingly), whether or not favoritism is healthy, it can be detrimental to children in three ways, says Dr. Kramer: The less-favored child’s sense of self-worth is lowered, the quality of the relationships they have with siblings is compromised, and the quality of parental relationships is also compromised. The preferred child may also suffer due to the strained sibling-to-sibling relationships that may result from resentment around the issue of a favorite child.

And regardless of all this evidence about having a favorite child being a thing, the reality of its function in a family can either be mitigated or exacerbated depending on perception. For instance, one study of four-person families consisting of two parents and two children concluded that the entire group only agreed favoritism was happening about 33 percent of the time. Meaning, regardless of the reality of the situation, family members had differing experiences. “A parent may actually feel that they may be in some ways favoring one child, whereas the kids may perceive that very differently,” says Dr. Kramer. (Hence the lifelong fight among my siblings.)

“A parent may actually feel that they may be in some ways favoring one child, whereas the kids may perceive that very differently.” —clinical psychologist Laurie Kramer, PhD
So, how can you and your parent(s) undo any damage incurred as a result of unhealthy or healthy favoritism? Regarding the former, aka neuroses-based favoritism, Dr. Bingham says one strategy is simple, even if implementing it is labor- and time-intensive: “Through therapeutic work, any parent can learn how to have a healthier, happier relationship with themselves and, therefore, a healthier relationship with other people in their life, including their children.”

And for the latter, healthy favoritism? Many negative effects can be mitigated through simple conversation. “Parents and children very rarely talk about these issues explicitly, and that seems to be the biggest problem. Kids are making these judgments about what their parents are doing and why they’re doing it and whether it’s fair or not, but they’re not always communicating those perceptions to their parents,” Dr. Kramer says. This mode of operation denies parents the opportunity to recognize unbalanced behavior and/or explain it in a way that might make sense to the child. “[Parents] aren’t going to be able to treat kids equally every moment of every day, but they can be a little more verbal and explicit,” she adds.

This is great advice in theory, but if my mom’s response—”I love all my children equally”—is any indication, it might be harder to have the conversation in the meaningful way Kramer suggests. That said, the debates I continue to engage in with my brother might be soon end; he contends our parents like me best because I’m a girl—and it seems, according to science, there may be some truth to the assertion.

Yes, it’s time for everyone to accept that parents are imperfect, flawed human beings. Except maybe not Hilaria Baldwin, who TBH seems a little bit like the exception to the rule—here’s how the mom of four uses yoga techniques to parent.

 

[TheCombination]

Uzungu ukiwa mwingi inakuwa shida....

Shida sana mkuu.

 

[Heaven Sent]

Kila kitu kina athari zake +Ve na -Ve. Mwingine kutopendelewa kunamuathiri negatively as anajiona hafai, anakuwa mtu wa kujikatia tamaa; mwingine kunampa motisha ya kupambana as anajua sina wa kunipigania so anakuwa na independent mindset mapema, au mingine anapambana sana ili mwisho wa siku na yeye aheshimike tu kilazima

ni kweli lakini kama unavyojua, katika kila kitu negative kuna kitu positive cha kuchukua. Mimi ilinibidi nichukue every lesson na imenisaidia, siwezi kusema haikuniathiri ila imenijenga pia kwa kiasi flani japokuwa watoto wengi wa namna hiyo huishia pabaya kwa kutafuta belongingness nje ya familia

 

[Heaven Sent]

Jamani pole sana. Nafikiri hata kwenye comments nyingi umeona jinsi last borns wanavyodekezwa hadi uzee wao

Aiseeee iinaiskia kwako

 

[uran]

Yes nahitaji sana

Karibu kwa huduma.

 

[cariha]

Karibu kwa huduma.

 

[Amicus Curiae]

Yakobo alikua mtoto wa mama mda wote anadeka na ukimya ndio maana mamake akampenda sana

Kweli alikuwa mtoto wa mama kwasababu kila kitu alikuwa anafundishwa na mama yake. Alikuwa hawezi kujiratibu mwenyewe. Sasa my dear, mbona PM umefunga? Kila nikijaribu wapiii....I promise you (In Haji Manara's voice), you won't regret knowing me...sijisifii, ila i am a gentleman. Wala siwezi kukutongoza, I just want someone to talk to, ndo mana hata najiachia humu

 

[cariha]

Kweli alikuwa mtoto wa mama kwasababu kila kitu alikuwa anafundishwa na mama yake. Alikuwa hawezi kujiratibu mwenyewe. Sasa my dear, mbona PM umefunga? Kila nikijaribu wapiii....I promise you (In Haji Manara's voice), you won't regret knowing me...sijisifii, ila i am a gentleman. Wala siwezi kukutongoza, I just want someone to talk to, ndo mana hata najiachia humu

hyo ya haji manaras voice vepee

 

[Shin Lim]

Kuna watu wana makubwa kuhusu hili swala ila wanaishia kusoma comment tu.

Mwenyezi Mungu atusaidie sana na atupe nguvu na upendo.
Atuepushe na roho ya kujitenga kutokana na kutengwa udogoni ambako hakujafutika mioyoni mwetu.

 

[Amicus Curiae]

hyo ya haji manaras voice vepee

Kilichomtoa Simba ni ugomvi wake na Babra, sasa alituma audio clip mitandaoni kumchamba Babra, kuna kipande kwenye hiyo clip anamwabia Babra, "I promisee you" ...kwamba atamkomesha..

Hupendi mpira?

Back to business, si unanifungulia PM eti eeh?