First dates

[Pundit]

ahahahahhahahah tell them sasa wamekuja chambele ndiyo mambo ya tanzanite......

Wengine tulikuwa wadogo sana kuingia in the whole dating scene.

Jivunie chako, Tanzanite muhimu.Kwanza zinakwisha in 10 years zitakuwa extinct gem na thamani yake itapanda maradufu.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Maan, what are y'all talkin about....my swagga is all I need win her over. You don't have to spend a whole lot money on a first date or on any other date unless you're planning to wife her...if the chick is a gold digger.....that's a deal breaker. My thing is, if you're feeling me then money or material things got nothing to do with it...feel me for me...

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Na nyinyi huko UK mnaongeaga hivyo....?

 

[Game Theory]

Mlivyokuwa bongo mlikuwa mnakwenda dates au ndio unanunua chipsi dume, mishikaki na fanta ngoma imetoka unaanza kusubiria jibu mwezi mzima...? kila siku unasikia bado nafikiria.

 

[Icadon]

Mzee ndio zako nini...? Mambo ya Champagne,Strawberries, Rose petals mpaka kwenye bath tub?

 

[Mtu wa Pwani]

mie first date tunaenda kupunga upepo forodhani kwa mishkaki na mbatata za adinani, usisahau kachori na badjia

siku nyengine hujimwaga bwawani Taarab either Malindi au Culture

ooh mambo mazuri

 

[Yona F. Maro]

The Ten Commandments for Men:
The First Date
(If you are a man who dates other men, please substitute "he" and "him" for "she" and "her.")





I. Thou shalt confirm the day before


Call your date. With this simple action you will confirm that she does, in fact, remember you.

II. Thou shalt not try a new restaurant
Here's why:

Scenario #1: You're driving. A trickle of sweat flows down your back as your date asks for the third time, "You do know where you're going, don't you?"

Scenario #2: You open your menus. She asks, "Are you sure you can afford this?" You realize you can't.

Scenario #3: Neither of you ate because the food was awful. Now you're dealing with a woman with low blood sugar.


III. Thou shalt have a relaxing day
Don't plan to close escrow or get your test results on the same day as your date. Let's make it a stress-free day. Play basketball. Do a crossword puzzle. Take a nap.

You don't want to be rushing to get dressed. Statistics show it's the leading cause of shaving cuts.


IV. Thou shalt call a trusted friend before the date
You have mentally undressed her ten thousand times. Intelligent conversation over chips and salsa will be impossible. Calling a male companion ahead of time will be like taking a nice, cold shower for your brain. If that doesn't work, take a nice, cold shower.


V. Thou shalt let your date choose the mode of transportation
You have a new car. You are proud. You want to pick her up. That's understandable.

She was stalked by an ex. She is afraid. She has a can of mace. That's also understandable...

Avoid complications. Let her meet you there.


VI. Thou shalt be respectful
Your date may be a little nervous. She may have sweaty hands, need to use the bathroom every few minutes, lose her appetite, chatter about stupid things, or become really quiet. The point is, if she has broccoli in her teeth, you probably do, too.

VII. Thou shalt exit gracefully
You and your date have no chemistry AT ALL. What do you do?

What a relief to realize this now and not after she's best friends with your mom. Right now, you're locked into an evening with someone you're beginning to hate. Get a reality check. Excuse yourself for a few quick minutes and call your Trusted Friend (see above). The conversation with your friend might go something like this:

You: Is it rude of her to keep looking at her watch and sighing and telling me that she's bored?

Trusted Friend: Yeah, that's really rude, man.

Can you make it through this date or would you rather drink poison? If suicide feels like an alternative, it's time to stop. But how?

The honest approach:

You: I'm getting the feeling that we're just not a good match. Would you mind too terribly if we call it a night?

Whoa. Can you be that honest? Use your best judgment. If the above doesn't feel right for you, try this instead:

You: I'm not feeling very well. I think I'm going to be sick.


VIII. Thou shalt not have more than two drinks
Some guys drink because they're afraid they're not very interesting. Most women will correctly assume this applies to you.

IX. Thou shalt pay
You don't have to bear children. You make 30% more for the same work. You will never bleed monthly.

This is the price you pay for being a man. Suck it up.


X. Thou shalt not kiss
After all you've been through, you sure could use a soft kiss once you're at her door, right? But wait:

Do you like her? Don't kiss her if you're not sure. That can create hurt, confusion, and chipped teeth. Give yourself (and her) time to figure it out. That's what second dates are for.

 

[Kitila Mkumbo]

Vijana kwa kweli naona mnajitahidi sana. Enzi zetu bwana ulikuwa ukimpeleka tu pale Rose garden imetoka. Au tukiwa chuo, ukimshushia desa habari imekwisha. Kwa kweli wakati wenu ni mgumu sana. Lakini ningekuwa nipo katika wakati wenu ningeiba technics za Brazamen; kwa utaratibu huu hakuna demu anayeweza kukatiza!

 

[Mwanjelwa]

What is first date by defnition?

 

[Nzokanhyilu]

Your place or mine?

If its her place, then me tek a bottle of wine from good ol' sainsbury. Infact you ask a bird in Sainsbury, if I wanted to mack you, what wine would you like me to bring you? She will smile and she will go through all them Argie, Spanish, Australian or even SouthAfrican wines!! Hell, its then you know a bottle of wine is a winner......£10 max, but mostly £5 will do!! The rest is your transport to her place........bus pass will do, £3.50. You can come back by Taxi or even sleep at her place pretending you are scared of the dark.

If its ma place, then she entering the killing fields innit?!! Make sure she comes tarted up. Cos, mi 'ave mi spinning bar, hit her with Covo, JD, Southern Comfort and some wines hanging about...some of dat cheap shite called Lambrini. If I really wanna impress, I big up the occassional 'Konyagi' that might be hanging about.....'you should try this Tanzanian stuff, you know you dont get a headache?'.
Might spend on food, and could be the mack of the kitchen for the day. Cook her some simple stuff, in your boxer shorts goddamnit......turns them on hahaaa. Making her think she can tame a bredren. maximum spent is £10 to £15, the drinks are part of the furniture.

After or during this, you will know where you stand goddamnit!!

 

[Ben Saanane]

Na uachane na mambo ya kudate macdonald restaurants maanake hizo zitakufanya uzidi kuonekana soro

 

[NaimaOmari]

Watch out it may cost you your life

 

[CottonEyeJoe]

Normally spend anywhere between 10 quid to a 100 quid...anymo then that and u begin to feel she owes u sumthin...also depends on what u r lukin 4 out of the date and what kind of gurl she is...and how she feels about u... dont b too conclusive bcoz the same chick who gets wined or dined at the marriot and plays hard 2 get gives it up 4 free in the parking lot in the back of a niggaz jeep...

 

[Kitia]

Depends on whom you are dating........... dating a money sucking lady you gotta dig deep in your pockets.

But guys you need to learn the art of dating.............. most first dates at a dinner table do not usually go well ultimately. Start by a visit to an interesting place and let dinner be the last piece to the puzzle, by that time you would have had insight into the person and reached a good comfort zone.

Bi Mkubwa umenena.

 

[Possibles]

Watu wako humu toka kitambo

 

[lara 1]

...you guys need mac lessons!! i aint splashin' $250 for somebody whom i no kno yet...man you don know where she gon' take that pendant.... before u know u been played man,
for real, gotta be modest on first date... thereafter, up ya gear according to her taste... she surely will come for more!! ya'll know

STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY Matola kabisaaa! Usije niharibia riziki yangu bure! Lol!

 

[lara 1]

Na uachane na mambo ya kudate macdonald restaurants maanake hizo zitakufanya uzidi kuonekana soro

Upo MMU kamanda wao!? Nakuonaga mara chache!

 

[lara 1]

Your place or mine?

If its her place, then me tek a bottle of wine from good ol' sainsbury. Infact you ask a bird in Sainsbury, if I wanted to mack you, what wine would you like me to bring you? She will smile and she will go through all them Argie, Spanish, Australian or even SouthAfrican wines!! Hell, its then you know a bottle of wine is a winner......£10 max, but mostly £5 will do!! The rest is your transport to her place........bus pass will do, £3.50. You can come back by Taxi or even sleep at her place pretending you are scared of the dark.

If its ma place, then she entering the killing fields innit?!! Make sure she comes tarted up. Cos, mi 'ave mi spinning bar, hit her with Covo, JD, Southern Comfort and some wines hanging about...some of dat cheap shite called Lambrini. If I really wanna impress, I big up the occassional 'Konyagi' that might be hanging about.....'you should try this Tanzanian stuff, you know you dont get a headache?'.
Might spend on food, and could be the mack of the kitchen for the day. Cook her some simple stuff, in your boxer shorts goddamnit......turns them on hahaaa. Making her think she can tame a bredren. maximum spent is £10 to £15, the drinks are part of the furniture.

After or during this, you will know where you stand goddamnit!!

Your place or mine ndo daliliza kurudi umepigwa free p za fasta! Public place is a safe zone!

 

[Malafyale]

First date mambo yenu ya popcorn huko huko!First date mm mnyakyusa bana sihitaji ua nahitaji ubwabwa na samaki kambale huku tunaburudika na nyimbo za injili za dada Bukuku

 

[Chwaka]

Hivi ma players humu ndani..how much do you normally spend on a first date?

Hapa me napita tu maana sina changu bhana