Financial meltdown/cost cutting measures

Masanilo

Platinum Member
Oct 2, 2007
22,286
4,493
Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been
revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage
shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are
Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in
triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified
dietician report as supportive documentation.

4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be
watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only
plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while
bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants
shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food,
drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing
for them.

8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs;
doing so shall carry aninstantaneous penalty of ejection from The House.

9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall
immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace
such broken item(s).

10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate
and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village
Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their
homes. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate,
upon arrival

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!! !

 
0 Reactions
Reply
Back
Top Bottom