Declare your riches!


JF-Expert Member
Feb 11, 2007
Declare your riches!
Adam Lusekelo
Daily News; Wednesday,November 21, 2007 @00:01

A FARCE, of course. Ask former goat herders how they suddenly became very rich. Predictably they will lie their heads off and sometimes you wonder who is fooling whom?

But some of us (me, for example) are very honest people. If I was some minister I would boldly go to the parliamentary committee to declare my riches.

Picture this: I walk into the room after being summoned by the parliamentary committee to talk about my piles of money and wealth. I will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Sir, tell us about your wealth and riches." The chairman will enquire.

"Poa. I am a multi-millionaire in dollar terms, I own two bus companies, I have estates in Dar and Arusha, I have four 5,000 hectare farms, 30,000 ng'ombes and I have forgotten the rest of the stuff I own."

"Sawa mzee. Maybe you could tell us how you suddenly got so fabulously rich. Maybe you inherited a vast fortune, invested in bonds or something?"

"You really want me to be honest?"

"Please, sir."

"Okay, I will be very honest. I am very religious, you know. So I will say the truth. I stole the money, of course!"

"You ... what?"

"You've heard me. I stole the money to acquire my riches. It's normal for African ministers to steal money. Only that they have to steal with discipline."

"Stealing! But sir, you could go to jail!"

"Look. You wanted my honest truth and you've got it. Now you are talking about a guy like me, a minister, going to jail. I didn't tell you I stole chickens.

"Only falas who steal chickens or a radio set, go to jail. How can a minister go to jail? This is a class system, you know. Chicken thieves and rapists will go to Segerea. Ministers will not be touched. In fact I think the president is thinking of promoting me".

"So, why is the Speaker telling us to ask you to declare your wealth?"

"It's a farce, I know. But it also makes great PR. Most people will actually be thinking that something is happening." I would say, while checking the time.

"You mean nothing will happen?"

"Zilch! You guys are crazy. What do you want a guy to do when he is tapped as minister? Work diligently for his people? If you think that then you are out of your minds!"

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