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Dating Tips

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by bacha, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

    Aug 27, 2010
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Haya kwa wale wanaume ambao ni singles,hebu tudadavue haya mambo hapo chini:

    Five signs your date is into you…

    1. He closes the distance
    “First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more intimate contact,” Hartley says. So if a guy you’re talking to at a party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you better — and not as a friend.

    2. He speaks softly
    When a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign, Hartley explains. “He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only,” he says. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing — guys don’t do that to women they’re not into.” If you want to let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, this should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re in a loud club or restaurant where you have to shout to be heard, you can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.

    3. He rounds his posture
    Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he will soften, or “round” his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy’s squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.

    4. He talks slowly
    Like birds in a mating dance, men typically talk more slowly and softly when they are attracted to someone, Hartley explains. Of course, if he knocked back a few gig ante lattes on a first date, he may be too wired (and nervous) to sound like Barry White, but give it time: if his speech starts to make you feel sleepy, he’s a goner.

    5. He can’t take his eyes off you (in a good way)
    So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn’t a psycho stare, but rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, “Wow, you’re amazing” gaze, that guy is digging you big-time, Harley says.

    …and 5 signs your date isn’t into you

    1. He’s four feet away
    If his motto may as well be The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, he’s not feeling’ you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define such a distance? “If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear signal that his heart’s not in it,” says Hartley.

    2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you
    “Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other’s face, yet when we talk to women — especially ones we’re interested in romantically — we stand face-to-face with them,” Hartley says. If your guy’s shoulder is pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he’s subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley explains.

    3. He sounds like that guy in accounting
    If your date is talking to you like you’re someone at the office — meaning, the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong — “he’s probably just trying to keep it on a friendship level,” Hartley says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might want to keep it “professional” on the first date or two while he gets to know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your losses.

    4. He stares at your mouth
    When a guy focuses on your lips, what he’s really trying to do is avoid eye contact, Hartley explains. “If he’s avoiding eye contact, you can pretty safely assume he’s not into you,” he asserts. If your date fixes his gaze below your face, he’s probably interested in you, but perhaps not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…

    5. He’s out of sync with your body language
    When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body language, so if he doesn’t copy you gesture for gesture, odds are he isn’t smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still, pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just plain not interested.

  2. E

    Edmund Senior Member

    Aug 27, 2010
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    kaka hujui kama ni SWAUMU, ungengojea labda mfungo uishe au wataka tufanye Experiment wapi kipindi hiki.
  3. Who Cares?

    Who Cares? JF-Expert Member

    Aug 27, 2010
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    these tips sounds valuable to women...they are not constructive to we men..bring here the killer technix to know SHE IS IN....anyway hata hizi pia hazi-hold hapa kwetu kibongobongo...kwani mila tamaduni na hata mazingira hayaendani na hayo bwana Hartley aliyoyafanyia research i strongly advise you to go back n do ur research kwa kina zaiidi
  4. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    Aug 27, 2010
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    Five signs your date is into you…

    1. She tilts her head
    "When a woman sees and feels especially comfortable with a man, she will tilt her head," Hartley says. A tilt in any direction - right, left or down - are all signs that she's interested in getting to know you better - say, over another date.

    2. She takes a sip when you take a sip
    When a woman is drawn to a guy, she'll instinctively mirror his actions, Hartley says. While men do this, too, women are more likely than men to first begin the copying. What should you look for? "You might notice she will shift her body in the same direction as yours or take your lead for behavioral changes like, picking up a glass to drink or blinking her eyes repeatedly if you're doing so," he suggests. If you want to test her, lean forward and see if she comes closer, too.

    3. She twirls her hair
    Since the beginning of time, a woman's hair has been celebrated as a symbol of her beauty and power. And it's true today, says Hartley: If your date begins twirling or playing with her hair while talking to you, it is a good sign she's into you and subconsciously trying to attract you.

    4. She gets a glow
    While blushing often means embarrassment, don't assume that her rosy cheeks are an indication of discomfort. When a woman is attracted to someone, blood flows to her face, causing her cheeks to get redder, Hartley explains. And if your date is smitten, he adds, her lips and even eyelids will get fuller, too.

    5. Her pupils dilate
    While your gaze is fixed on her, pay particular attention to her pupils, advises Hartley. "When a woman is attracted to a man, her pupils will dilate," he notes. "Essentially, the body does this in order to allow itself to take in more of a good thing."

    …and five signs your date is not into you

    1. She crosses her arms
    Did she assume the angry librarian stance? "When a woman on a date places her hands in front of her body - especially if they are crossed - she is closing herself off from the man," Hartley notes. If you get this red flag, you don't stand a chance… and she wants you to know it. "Men are not nearly as perceptive as women, so even if she's not consciously aware of it, a woman knows her body language needs to be very loud," Hartley explains. "In this instance, that body language reads loud and clear."

    2. She places her bag between you two
    "When I ask male friends how a blind date went, step-by-step, and they say‘she put her bag on the table,' I always know that's a bad sign," Hartley says. If your date places her purse - a real and physical barrier - between the two of you, she's showing she wants to create distance, he says. Not a good sign.

    3. She speaks faster than an auctioneer
    So she seems to love talking to you? Before you start celebrating, note the speed of her small talk. "Romantic conversation does not occur at the same speed as business conversation," Hartley says. "Conversation between two people who are attracted typically slows to about three-quarter speed and softens in tone. In fact, most emotional conversation - with the exception of when it is very hostile - is at a slowed cadence." That said, she may be nervous early in your first date, and her nerves can cause her to spit her sentences out in rapid-fire succession. But if by the end of the evening she's still going at a rapid rate, consider it a clue that she just wants to be friends at best.

    4. She offers you a chin-up smile
    Though it's tempting to interpret any old smile as a sign of interest, all smiles are not created equal. Smiles can say a lot: "I'm polite," "I'm crazy about you," and, believe it or not, "I can't stand you." The secret to decoding what her smile really means? It's all in the chin placement. A woman who gives you a relaxed, chin-down "soft smile" is smitten and wants you to dig her back, Hartley explains. A full-on toothpaste grin or stiff and polite smile - both of which generally involve the chin raised up - mean either, "I like you as a friend" or "I wanna get out of here!"

    5. She strokes her neck
    If your date's telling you she agrees that you should get together again, that's a good sign, right? Maybe, says Hartley. "Her body language may be the key to the real truth," he says. "If a woman is gently stroking her neck when telling you this, it may be a sign that she's interested, but it is also known to be a sign of lying." To figure out which message she's sending, consider the aforementioned "she's not into you" signals. If she's also giving you the raised-chin smile and speaking to you over a giant purse, you may want to move on to your next prospect.
  5. D

    Dick JF-Expert Member

    Aug 27, 2010
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    Usitengue swaumu zetu wewe!