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Dalili za mpenzi atakayekuja kuwa mkorofi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
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    Kwa maana hiyo, yatupasa wote tuliopo katika uhusiano, kabla ya kuendelea na kufanya maamuzi fulani tuwe tunatazama pia dalili za hatari.

    Kwa upande mkubwa dalili hizi zimeegemea kuwasaidia zaidi jinsia ya kike kujua au kuwafahamu wanaume.Hii ni kwa sababu wanawake ndio ambao wamekuwa wakiumizwa zaidi na kukatishwa tamaa na mabadiliko ya tabia za wanaume mara wanapozama katika dimbwi la mapenzi, ingawa pia wapo wanaume wanaoumizwa kutokana na mabadiliko ya tabia za wapenzi wao, nao pia waweze kuzitazama dalili hizi.
    Dalili:

    1.Mpenzi wako anakuwa na wivu sana kwa ule muda unaotumia kuwa na wafanyakazi wenzako, marafiki na hata ndugu zako, ingawa siyo kwamba anakuhitaji kwa muda huo.

    2.Anapenda kukuudhi na kukutawala, anaangalia sana kutoka na kuingia kwako, nyendo zako na hata matumizi yako ya fedha, ukimuuliza kwanini anafanya hivyo, anajiteteta kuwa anakusaidia kufanya maamuzi sahihi.

    3.Taratibu anakutenga na wote waliokaribu na wewe. Pia anajaribu kukutenga na wale wanaoonekana kuwa msaada kwako kama vile, wale unaowasiliana nao kwa simu, wafanyakazi wenzako na hata ndugu zako wa karibu.

    4.Huwa na tabia ya kuwalaumu sana wengine kwa matatizo anayoyapata. Mfano anapokosa kazi, anaposhindwa shuleni nk. Kila kitu ni kosa la mtu mwingine na siyo yeye.

    5.Hukasirishwa na kuudhiwa na vitu vidogo vidogo na vya kawaida katika maisha ya kila siku, mfano akiambiwa afanye kazi zaidi ya muda wa ofisi, akiombwa amwangalie mtoto, anapopingwa katika kitu kidogo nk.

    6.Anakuwa na tabia za kikatili kwa wanyama (wafugwao) na hata kwa watoto. Haumizwi pale anapoona maumivu au kuteseka kwa wanyama au watoto.
    Anaweza kujiona anacheza au kutania bila kujua anaumiza mtoto au mnyama.

    7.Ana tabia ya mabavu hususan katika tendo la ndoa, hajali hisia zako, umelala usingizini au unaumwa, bali hujali zaidi kuzitimiza haja zake.

    8.Ana maneno makali ya kuumiza na kushusha hadhi, huweza kukuamsha usingizini ili akutukane au kukugombeza. Akianza malumbano hakupi upenyo wa kwenda kulala, anaweza kulalama usiku mzima.

    9.Hatabiriki, ana hisia za kubadilika badilika, mara muda huu ana furaha na kuonyesha mapenzi, mara ghafla kakasirika na kutaka kumuadhibu mtu.

    10.Anaweza kuwa na historia ya tabia za kikorofi na kigomvi, labda amewahi kuwa na matukio ya kuwapiga marafiki zake, akijitetea kuwa alipitiwa tu na hasira.

    11.Ni mwenye vitisho na tabia za kuashiria fujo, mfano kupenda kutishia akisema “Nitakuzaba vibao” “Nitakuua”, “Nitakuvunja Shingo” “nitakufanyia kitu mbaya” n.k.

    12. Ana tabia ya kupiga au kugonga vitu kwa hasira, kuvunja vitu vyako, kukurushia vitu wewe au watoto kwa hasira.
    13.Hutumia nguvu anaposisitiza hoja yake, mfano, kukushika nguo au kukukandamiza ukutani na mara nyingine kukusukuma.

    •Tafiti zimegundua kwamba, kama mtu anaonyesha tabia za fujo na kijeuri wakati wa urafiki au uchumba kuna uwezekano mkubwa wa kuwa hatari zaidi mara atakapoingia kwenye ndoa. Kamwe usijidanganye na kujifariji kwamba hiyo vitabia anayoionyesha sasa eti atabadilika tu mara mkioana.
    Kumbuka , fujo huzaa fujo, na ujeuri huzaa ugomvi na kwa haraka, vyote hivi huua mapenzi kwa wale wanaopendana.
     
  2. M

    Msindima JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Mkuu hizi tabia ni kweli kabisa zipo kwa watu fulani,kuna jamaa mmoja aliwahi kuwa mtarajiwa alikua na hizo tabia hapo juu,hata ukijaribu kumweleza kuwa hivi unavyofanya sio vizuri hakuelewi ni mbishi, kila kitu ni yeye anajua na yeye ndo bwana mipango wa kila kitu,ukija kwenye kauli sasa ndo utachoka,kauli za ajabu ajabu za kuumiza mpaka unabaki unajiuliza hivi anamaanisha haya anayoongea? Nakumbuka siku moja aliniambia yeye hawezi kuoa mtu wa kabila lingine,siku hiyo nilinyamaza,uvumilivu uliponishinda nilitumia kauli ile ile ya kwake kuvunja mahusiano.
     
  3. drphone

    drphone JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 8, 2010
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    aisee umenifumbua macho nitazingatia mkuu
     
  4. l

    loyce New Member

    #4
    Feb 10, 2010
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    yani humo humo hujakosea
     
  5. akashube

    akashube JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 10, 2010
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    Mkuu mbona unaanza kuniongelea, yaani mule mule duh!!!!!!!!!Hapa akiisoma tu nimeachwa.
     
  6. Brooklyn

    Brooklyn JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 10, 2010
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    Mkuu hizi dalili zako ni za kufikirika zaidi.....naamini untambua kwamba tabia ya binadamu ni very unpredictable. Hakuna scientific research yoyote iliyowahi kuthibitisha tabia fulani anazozionesha mtu fulani wakati huu na atakavyokua in the future. Ndio maana kuna criticism nyingi sana zilizotolewa kwenye theory kadhaa za social scientists kama Abraham Maslow na wengineo!!

    Ukipenda wewe vamia tu...issue ya atabehave vipi in the future shouldnt concern you, besides unajua utakuwepo? Pengine una sikumbili tu za kuishi, jiachie tu kama binti mkali.

    Wakwere wana msemo unaosema 'ishi kama hakuna kesho'
     
  7. S

    Said kapanda New Member

    #7
    Feb 13, 2010
    Joined: Sep 19, 2009
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    Aaaah wapi ndugu zangu mambo haya yapo, ni vizuri kuchukua tahadhali kabla ya soo lenyewe sisi tumesha yaona haya ni noma midem mingine sio, lakini mwanzo wa mapenzi huwezi amini linavyo jifanya mambo fresh baadae ni nyoka. So ni vizuri kuzingatia baadhi ya vigezo isijekua tabu eti baadae.
     
  8. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 13, 2010
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    wewe mtoa mada ni yule mauki?
     
  9. nyaunyau

    nyaunyau Senior Member

    #9
    Feb 13, 2010
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    ukiishi kama hakuna kesho hiyo ni fujo,hakuna maendeleo,nadhani hata wewe huishi kwa kanuni hiyo leo usingekuwepo.
     
  10. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #10
    Feb 13, 2010
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    Nakubaliana na wewe!
     
  11. The Son of Man

    The Son of Man JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 13, 2010
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    Kama ni hivi bora kutooa na kutoolewa tu bora talanta tulizopewa na muumba tuzifiche tusizifanyie biashara tutamrudishia.!
     
  12. MduduWashawasha

    MduduWashawasha JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 13, 2010
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    ya kweli haya.mimi yalinikuta hivyo hivyo miaka 4 iliyopita
     
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