Barber Shop

[Nesindiso Sir]

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and
says,
"About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at
the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop
and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the
shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."
A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house."

Cheers!

 

[Invisible]

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house."

I knew it! Poor barber

 

[Mtoto wa Mkulima]

There is a town in northern province of Zambia called Kasama where people are so adulterous that the local priest who originated from Chipata was getting tired of hearing confessions about adultery.

One Sunday in church, he suggested that whenever they make a
confession about sleeping with somebody else other than their spouses, they should say that they tripped. This worked fine until he was transferred to Chipata the following year where he never experienced such type of a confession. His successor did not know anything about this arrangement and naturally, these confessions were confusing. He then decided to see the mayor and the following discussion ensued:

Priest : Morning Mr. Mayor

Mayor : Morning Father

Priest : I've been meaning to talk to you about the pavements in your town

Mayor : Why?

Priest : Hardly a day passes without someone confessing about tripping which frankly I find odd.

On realising that the priest did not know the context of the confession, the mayor laughed out loudly.

The priest looked at him and said? You are laughing, your wife tripped twice this week

 

[Mtoto wa Mkulima]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young

Mothers and their small children... 'You all have obsessions,' he

Observed.



To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.

You've

Even named your daughter Candy.'



He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again,

It Manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'



He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too

Manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.'



At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy

by the hand and whispers. 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving.'

 

[Mtoto wa Mkulima]

Before Marriage -

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard 2 wait.

Girl: Do u want me 2 leave?

Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.

Girl: Do u love me?

Boy: Of course! Over & over!

Girl: Have u ever cheated on me?

Boy: NO!y r u even asking?

Girl: Will u kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get!

Girl: Will u hit me?

Boy: R u crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

Girl: Can I trust u?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom 2 top......

--

 

[Misterdennis]

Mtoto wa mkulima

Thanks .... Yaaani nimecheka. The part after marriage. One wishes he could have balls enough to say such words !1

 

[Idimi]

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father
does not like him and want them to stop their relationship......and
so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1. "The great love that I have for you
2. is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3. grows every day. When I see you,
4. I do not even like your face;
5. the one thing that I want to do is to
6. look at other girls. I never wanted to
7. marry you. Our last conversation
8. was very boring and has not
9. made me look forward to seeing you again.
10. You think only of yourself.
11. If we were married, I know that I would find
12. life very difficult, and I would have no
13. pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14. to give, but it is not something that
15. I want to give to you. No one is more
16. foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17. able to care for me and help me.
18. I sincerely want you to understand that
19. I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20. if you think this is the end. Do not try
21. to answer this. Your letters are full of
22. things that do not interest me. You have no
23. true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24. I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25. I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy
told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read
1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number
lines..

Nimecheka sana