Bladerunner
Member
- Dec 19, 2008
- 93
- 3
God asked Jomo Kenyatta how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three!
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Kenyatta a Mercedes!
Edward Sokoine is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.
Abeid Karume is next.
He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three (JOMO, ABEID and SOKOINE) saw J.K.Nyerere returning on foot not even with a bajaji!!!
They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Nyerere replied in anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!"
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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
next to gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis
and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is
Jill.
What's yours?" He coolly replies,
"Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps
his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says:
I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
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A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.
The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.
The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead.
The doctor asks what happened to which the man replies: "She choked."
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A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says:
"7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?".
The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball,my name is Turner Brown."
The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around."
Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Kenyatta a Mercedes!
Edward Sokoine is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.
Abeid Karume is next.
He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15 children God is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three (JOMO, ABEID and SOKOINE) saw J.K.Nyerere returning on foot not even with a bajaji!!!
They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Nyerere replied in anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated
next to gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis
and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is
Jill.
What's yours?" He coolly replies,
"Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps
his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says:
I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a
coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.
The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.
The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan. From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed. The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead.
The doctor asks what happened to which the man replies: "She choked."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says:
"7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?".
The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball,my name is Turner Brown."
The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around."
