On Friday I was interviewing with a media company for a position that will remain nameless. I like to think of myself as a cool guy. I dont get flustered. Such illusions can be shattered the moment you get past the first minute of a job interview. Its like realizing youre on a sinking ship and bailing water for dear life. . What three adjectives do you believe would best describe you, the interviewer asked. Strong creative and excellent, I said, feeling as if I had not only dodged a bullet, I had done it with incredible grace. Good, the interviewer said. What do those words mean to you? At this point those cliché tiny beads of perspiration began to form on my forehead. I thought I just had to come up with the words. Now I had to justify them. The first thought on strong was to challenge him to arm wrestle, but I quickly put that out of my mind. Not that its a bad kind of strength, but if I won, the interviewer might resent me, and if I lost, he might think I was too wussy to work for the company. Strong, I said. I have strengths um I know what Im good at and I know how to focus myself on that to make the most of my strengths. My feet were wet, but the boat was afloat. One even gave me an out on creative, saying it was a self-defining word. I wasnt about to let him get away with that. I was going to prove myself. I was going to define it with deftness and aplomb. I am oriented on making things. Creative in the manner of enjoying and revelling in the act of creation imaginatively. At this point, I was neck deep and I barely realized it. I think I had actually been scooping up buckets of water and dumping them back into my boat. It must have been artic water too, the cold of it rushing up my spinal column and numbing my brain. Yet, with some reserve of strength, I was able to pick up the signal flare gun and put it to my head. Excellent well excellence is my goal, my credo, a principle by which I live. I will settle for nothing less. So, he said, youre not excellent? Huh? You said its your goal. So youre not excellent yet. My knuckle grew red on the trigger. No I mean, yes I am excellent, but excellence isnt a permanent state, a concrete goal. Im not just going to wake up one day hey, Im excellent, whats next? Even though Im already excellent, I have to keep on trying to be excellent because if I stop trying Ill stop being, so its still a goal. See? No. At this point I felt like saying Yeah, well Ive seen the work this company has done, and the work Ive done kick your butt. You need me. Anyhow, to make a really long interview (or at least it seemed long) short, they said theyll call me. Id say Im not holding my breath, but somewhere during that interview the water got up over my head, so I am holding my breath, but Im not holding it for them. See? Im holding it because ah, screw it. Anyone need a watchman?