8 Surprising Turn-Ons for Men

[Mtoto wa Mkulima]

Ask a group of guys what turns them on about a woman, and you'll sometimes get the predictable answers: full lips, full bosom, full booty.

These are a few quick-and-dirty biological imperatives that will turn many a man's head. But a lot of women fulfill those requirements already. So what makes certain women boy magnets, and leaves others spending Saturday nights watching Saturday Night Live skits?

As always, men are more complicated than a lot of people give them credit for, and when it comes to turn-ons, the masculine gender has plenty of surprises up their metaphorical sleeve. Here, some of the ways to effectively rev the masculine engine:

1. Standing Tall

Don't get me wrong: it's not that we want a woman who can balance a beer tray on her head. It's what good posture says about her. A woman who stands tall typically a) dresses well, b) exercises often, and c) is confident about her body and what it's good for. And if she's proud of her figure no matter what shape or size, that makes men take notice, as well.

2. True Grit

Men know that women cry. Men know that women can get hurt. Men want to be there to help whenever they do. But there's something insanely attractive about women who can bite their lips, buck up, and grit out some of life's twists, turns, sprains, and pains.

Note: Before you throw e-daggers my way, I'm not suggesting that it's not OK to cry or that women shouldn't seek proper attention when they're in pain, either physically or emotionally. (Nor am I saying that lots of men don't need to heed this advice as well.) I'm simply saying we're often drawn to partners who can walk off life's minor insults.

3. Baseball Caps

When we were growing up, we used them to show our team allegiances. In college, we used them to hide bed head. Past the age of 30, we mainly wear them to cover our bald spots. But no matter what team we root for, we like a baseball cap the most when it's worn by a woman. The look sends all kinds of messages about the kind of woman she is: sporty, strong, comfortable kicking back, Sox fan. (All the better if it's a Cubs hat - she's an optimist with a great sense of humor.)

4. Software Savvy

Maybe it's a giant sexual metaphor, but women like men who know hardware, and men like women who know software. Show a guy a woman who knows her way around systems, networks, and connections, and he'll be dazzled by her smarts - and appreciate her talents.

There's something sexy about a woman who can click a few buttons and get something working exactly the way she wants it to. (That is, as long as the buttons she pushes aren't his.)

5. Sexy Shampoo

Men typically are stereotyped as needing visual cues to feel attraction. While it's true that men need their share of eye candy, they also are mightily turned on by the olfactory sweets, as well. Perfume and body lotion are nice and all, but the smell of her freshly washed hair that's nestled up under the chin on a Sunday morning is a reminder of all that's good about relationships.

6. Understated Underwear

Slinky and small lingerie works for anniversaries, birthday surprises, honeymoons, and other seduce-me moments. But the look that makes men feel both comfortable and excited is when she's wearing boxers (waistband rolled) and a thin-as-can-be T-shirt that's neither too tight nor too big. Call it supreme sexiness in the understated. The same effect can be achieved by wearing his old dress shirt and a pair of panties.

7. Dirt and Sweat

Of course, men like to see their women dolled up for a night out. But many men appreciate the exact opposite: The woman who hikes, bikes, mows the lawn, hacks trees and branches, and otherwise pulls her weight. Seeing the dirt, mud, sweat, and occasional road rash is something that stokes our primal side.

8. A Few "Duh" Moments

Men like smart women (see "software savvy," above). But there's a small part of a man's brain that wants her to have an occasional dollop of ditziness. Why? Because if she can show that she may not know everything, it reinforces something deep inside a man that he's needed, that he's trusted, that he can be there to help.

And it says that when we screw up on occasion (and we will, oh yes, we will), she'll understand. Hypercompetence is something we just can't compete with. And ultimately, this game isn't about competition, it's about crossing the finish line together.

For another look at men and women with sex on the brain, check out this story on Men's Health. You'll never look at being in a relationship the same way again!

And if you have your own stories and suggestions, share them here

 

[Mtoto wa Mkulima]

From an early age, men get hammered with the same message about how to treat women: More compliments, more listening, more romance. That's all well and good, as it should be. But sometimes, especially as relationships progress, men can also feel on the short-end of the fawning stick: Nearly 70 percent of men say they wish they received more regular compliments from their partner. I'm not suggesting that every guy has to be coddled and cuddled with verbal roses, but every once in a while, it's nice to throw one his way. While guys aren't particularly amped by compliments like "nice eyes" or "you're so beautiful," there are a few, simple things a woman can say to a man that really get him going. To wit:


"Your arms are definitely looking bigger."

Men can be just as paranoid about the way their bodies look as women can be. In fact, nearly 90 percent of men in a national Men, Love & Sex survey say there's at least one body part they'd like to change (42 percent saying they want a new gut). While men don't necessarily want women to lie if they're out of shape, it never hurts to notice he's looking good -- or at least trying to look better.


"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Guys spend all of high school, the better part of the work day, and at least 12 times a day via e-mail trying to make people laugh. Because men value their sense of humor as one of their most important qualities, a hearty, genuine laugh is as flattering as it gets.


"Wow."

Doesn't matter whether it comes as he's getting undressed or after you've finished having sex, this short, sweet word (best done in a whisper) may just be the ultimate ego-stroke. A picture may say a thousand words, but this three-letter word sums up roughly 10,000 of them.



"You the man."

Guys hear this all the time. From other guys. They hear it at work, on the golf course, and when one dude from the group buys the beer. But if it comes from a woman -- no matter the context -- the message is that, hey, we're buddies, too. Which is actually pretty darn sexy.



"The kids just adore you."

More than 50 percent of men say that their families -- more so than work and salary -- are what defines them most as men. So when a woman affirms that he's a familial hero, it's a compliment that stretches way beyond anything you could ever say about his haircut.


"What do you think?"

We've all seen it a million times with long-married couples: They engage in cerebral power struggles, where neither can concede on anything -- whether it's the best way to move a piece of furniture or the fastest way to reach the interstate. I'm not saying that men should have the only say in decisions, but some guys do feel like they actually have very little.


"Cute feet."

Typically, it doesn't matter much to men if women like a part of their body that they don't control, like their eyes, jawline, or body hair. And typically, guys care for the word "cute" about as much as Paris cares for the penal system. One exception: The part of the body that is classified as being especially gross. Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment -- that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there.


"Meow."

The stats show that 61 percent of men think their partners aren't sexually adventurous enough. While a feline one-liner doesn't automatically qualify as adventurous, it does show a bit of inhibition, and the message is one he likes to hear: That perhaps he's brought a little bit of the animal out of you.


"Impressive."

Guys love feats. They love accomplishments. They love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and, simply, their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one -- whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber -- feeds into his need to feel like the family protector.


"I want you."

Women don't need to go on about a guy's eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he's the total package, and this acknowledgement of that -- whether it's referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability -- is the ultimate compliment of them all.