19 FACTS ABOUT MEN 1.Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches 2. The way a man looks at himself in the mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else. 3. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to KNOW. 4. All men hate to hear "We need to talk." No matter what the subject is. 5. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log doesn't burn, he will take it personally. 6. All men think they're nice guys. Some of them are not. 7. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in the winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore. 8. No man is charming all of the time. 9. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. 10. When four or more women get together, they talk about men. 11. If a man says "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't FORGET... he didn't LOSE your number... he didn't DIE! He just didn't want to call you. 12. Men hate to lose. 13. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed. 14. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie 15. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume his clothing has shrunk. 16. Men forget everything. Women remember everything 17If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush. 18. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the "nice" of bald. 19. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.