Search results

  1. Ernie

    Malizia hii.......!

    Ujinga ni...........! Kupenga makamasi kwa mkono, kujipangusia kwenye suruali kisha kusalimia mtu bila kunawa mikono
  2. Ernie

    I am having fun!

    Mum and dad were having s*x and their child came and said: Dad what are you doing ? Dad: I'm having fun. Child: Can I join ?
  3. Ernie

    Call center, duh hii noma!

    A husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex they will call it a PHONE CALL so that their kids wont realize. One day the husband sent his son to tell his mummy that, he want to make a phone call. Mummy replied: Tell your father that, the network is bad today!! Husband...
  4. Ernie

    What are the similarities of BAR & BRA ?

    BAR vs BRA .. 1. Both words have the same letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. Both have restricted timing for opening & closing 4. More importantly, both makes men crazy when open. How do u like that?
  5. Ernie

    Tanesco!

    Tangazo tangazo Tangazo! Ndugu Watanzania tunasikitika kutangaza kwamba maji yaliyobaki mtera ni ya kuchambia tu. sasa muamue kupata umeme au mbaki na mavi matakoni au mchambe mkose umeme kabisa. Chagua 1 ukiwa kama Mtanzania halisi
  6. Ernie

    Majina ya kazi za nje!

    Hebu jamani tukumbushane majina huwa tuna save kwenye simu zetu kama tunahisi kuwa ni shughuli ya nje au nyumba ndogo! Low battery, unknown number, registration, hunter, tuendelee na mengine
  7. Ernie

    unbelievable! Fungua unune

    Hakuna kitu jamani, I jes wanted you pipo to realize my return!
  8. Ernie

    Finally a book for all MEN to understand WOMEN!

    Haya jamani wakiume tujaribu kusoma hiki kitabu kuwaelewa hawa wenzetu!
  9. Ernie

    One spelling mistake can destroy your life!

    A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word... "I'm having such a wonderful time! Wish u were her....!
  10. Ernie

    Wa Marangu!

    Kwanini wachaga wa Marangu ni Bab kubwa/wajanja/waelewa kwa ufupi wako juu sana?
  11. Ernie

    Babu loiliondo na Ujembe mahsusi!

    Mimi sjui ingekuaje, nyinyi mnaonaje?
  12. Ernie

    Why he fired his Secretary?

    "Last week was his birthday and he didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. He went downstairs for breakfast hoping his wife would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for him.As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'...
  13. Ernie

    Duh! Padri nouma

    Padri alikuwa safarini na sista mmoja wa Parokia yake, mawazo mabaya yakaanza kumtawala Padri Yule kwamba kwanini asimuombe Yule sista ili watiane!!! Sista akashtukia ishu halafu akagoma!!! Baadae Padri akafikiria sana akapata wazo; akapaki gari porini akamwambia Yule sista kuwa mafuta...
  14. Ernie

    I love you

    A man is sitting in the pub with his wife and he says, “I love you.” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?” He replies, “It's me talking to the beer.”
  15. Ernie

    Sentensi!

    Mailizia sentensi ifuatayo. Nataka kut.............!
  16. Ernie

    Sharo "b" yoooooo! (Doctor)

    Sharobaro anaumwa tumbo la kuharisha, kufika kwa dokta anaambiwa aelezee shida yake, akaanza "Unajua meen naumwa meen" Dokta; Unaumwa nini? Sharo B: Meen naumwa tumbo alafu nakunya Haraka haraka meen. (Kuharisha) Dokta; aah, unahara wewe.
  17. Ernie

    Sharo "b" yoooooo!

    Sharobaro kaenda Loliondo si akapewa kikombe cha maji ya uzima na babu, akasogea chini ya mti kwa muda bila kunywa huku kashikilia suruali yake isianguke! mchungaji akamuuliza vipi mbona hunywi dawa? Sharo akajibu, NASUBIRI MRIJA MEEEN! Duh atapona kweli?
  18. Ernie

    Financial meltdown/cost cutting measures for your urgent attention

    Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted. 1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from...
  19. Ernie

    Kha! umeliwa na Bek Tatu?

    A husband and his wife were not on good terms. In fact, the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend, but didn't inform the husband. That night, when they went to bed, the husband gave...
  20. Ernie

    Vichaa nouma!

    Vichaa wanampigia Daktari kelele wanataka kwenda nyumbani ya kuwa wamepona, Dokta kuona kelele zimezidi anaamua kuchkua marker pen anawachorea mlango kisha akawaambia haya fungueni mtoke, jamaa wakaanza kupiga mlango mateke ya kutosha, sasa kuna kichaa mmoja yeye alikuwa amekaa tu wala haangaiki...
Back
Top Bottom