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  1. LILENDI

    At a mental hospital

    After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're...
  2. LILENDI

    Wake up!

  3. LILENDI

    I'm seeking for a Literature in English Syllabus, please!

    Igweeeeeeee.......! I'm a Literature in English teacher and I've been seeking for the mentioned subject syllabus for four years now but to no avail. I went to the TIE offices and bookshop only to be told silly stories. Please, if there is anyone who knows where to get it or he/she has it, let me...
  4. LILENDI

    4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer , 4 poorer

    Alittle boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up...
  5. LILENDI

    Castration

    "Doctor", says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital...
  6. LILENDI

    my dog is so smart!

    Two neighbours are talking to each other. First neighbour: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbour: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbour: Really, well then, how? Second neighbour: My...
  7. LILENDI

    Mwalimu..limeshapita!

    Mwalimu mmoja wa darasa la tatu alitoa maelekezo darasani: MWALIMU: Haya watoto wazuri, kila mmoja wenu achukue kalamu na karatasi kisha achore picha ya gari linalotembea, sawa? WANAFUNZI: Sawa, mwalimu. Baada ya muda mfupi mwalimu akawa anapita kila dawati kuangalia picha zilizochorwa...
  8. LILENDI

    I can spell Everything

    Teacher: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!!!! DO I HAVE TO SPELL EVERYTHING FOR YOU?! Student: No. I can spell EVERYTHING: E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!
  9. LILENDI

    ....but I like the way you're thinking

    Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is...
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