Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Zawadi ya ngono...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Dec 24, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Baada ya majadiliano na rafiki yangu kuhusiana na rushwa (zawadi) ya ngono mashuleni, vyuoni na maofisini nimejikuta najiuliza maswali mengi ambayo ningependa tusaidiane kuyajibu kwasababu kwa namna moja ama nyingine matokeo yake yanaathiri hata mahusiano, ndoa na malezi.

    Kwanza ni wazi kabisa kwamba mtu akishaanza ni ngumu kuacha kutokana na ukweli kwamba anakuwa amejipa ukilema wa aina fulani. Kwamba kama alifaulishwa sekondari kuna nafasi kubwa atahitaji kufaulishwa chuoni, na akifaulishwa chuoni kuna nafasi kubwa atahitaji kubebwa pale atakapokuwa kwenye mchakato wa kupata kazi na baadae kwenye kujiendeleza (kupandishwa cheo, kupata nafasi za masomo, kushirikishwa kwenye semina zinazolipa n.k).

    Sasa, Je:-
    1. Mtu anapoanza kuhonga mwili wake ili afanyiwe kazi yake (kusoma, kuwa na CV kali, good work ethics, experience n.k) kwanini anafanya hivyo? Ni kutojiamini (mwenyewe siwezi) au ni kuzungukwa na watu wasio na imani nae (wazazi, ndugu na jamaa wasioisha kumwambia hatofika popote)?

    2. Je kuna hatari gani mtu kutegemea mwili wake badala ya akili na uwezo unaohitajika kupata kazi, kufaulu n.k?

    3. Mtu kama huyu akija kuwa mzazi atakuwaje? Ataweza kumfundisha mtoto wake kuwa tofauti na alivyo yeye?

    4. Malezi yanachangia vipi kuwafanya ndugu zetu wawe hivyo?

    Najua kwa kiasi kikubwa hata system yetu (kupeana kazi kwa kujuana bila kujali sana uwezo wa kazi) inachangia kwa kiasi kikubwa, maana isingekuwa inaruhusu ingekuwa ngumu kutoa na kupokea rushwa ya aina hii ila napenda kuangalia kile kinachowasukuma wahusika zaidi.
     
  2. Sumba-Wanga

    Sumba-Wanga JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Feb 2, 2011
    Messages: 5,385
    Likes Received: 7
    Trophy Points: 135
    Huyu ni virus wa kugawa ngono kama pipi ni mbaya sana. Kuna watu wanaamini kuwa they can always get whatever they want by using their bodies. This is too bad. Ndio maana hata mashuleni, vyuoni, degree za chupi ni za kaawaida na inaonekana ndio mode of life. Some of the students do not feel ashamed to do it. Mwili wako hauna thamani!!! Na hii ni kwa kuwa hawataki kujituma, kufanya kazi kama wengine. Na hiyo kama unavyosema, haiishi hapo, hata makazini. Kwa maana hiyo, maisha yao yote yanakuwa ya mkato, mkato tu.

    Hii ni tabia mbaya sana kwa kuwa ina-create unjustice kwenye jamii. Watu hawapati haki zinazowastahili. Mtu wa namna hii hata kama hawezi ku deliver, basi atapandishwa vyeo weee, na mwishoni ataishi kuwa mwanasiasa, maana huko ndio kumekufuru...hakuna haja ya kudeliver, ni kubebana tu.,...
     
  3. a

    asakuta same JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Mar 1, 2011
    Messages: 15,082
    Likes Received: 52
    Trophy Points: 0
    kukosa kujiamini na kupenda kupata vitu kirahisi nafikiri ndo kunachangia sana. matokeo yake ni mabaya kwake zaid psychologically hata kujiamini kunazidi kupotea ,nasijui atajenga family ya aina gani.
    japo s'tym wanawake wengi wanapenda kuvua chupi kwa watu waliowasaidia hata km halikuwa sharti la kumsaidia.
     
  4. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 394
    Trophy Points: 180
    1. lizzy, katika hili swala watoa zawadi ni wanawake ila lawama ziende pande zote mbili pamoja na jamii husika.
    2. Case 1: Wakati nipo secondary kuna mdada alikuwa anatakwa na mwalimu kimapenzi. Yule dada alikuwa anakula fimbo kila siku bila sababu za maana na sometimes anatolewa nje wakati wa pindi. Mashtaka yakafika kwa mwalimu wa darasa ila hayakufanyiwa kazi, yakafika kwa mwalimu mkuu, mwalimu mkuu akamwambia avumilie maana anamaliza shule mwaka huo na hiyo shule haikuwa na mwalimu mwingine wa hilo somo kwa hiyo hawawezi kumfukuza. Mwisho wa siku sijui ilikuwaje ila majirani tuliona mwalimu na denti wanacheka pamoja, wanakula pamoja.
    3. Case 2: kuna mdada flani wa chuo nae alizembea kufanya mtihani, kumfata professor prof akasema akitaka amsaidie huyo dada nae ajue namna ya kumsaidia. Mdada akaondoka pale, baada ya siku tatu akarudi kwa prof na bahasha yenye hela (anadai aliweka tsh 300,000). Kumkabidhi prof, prof akamrudishia ile bahasha akamwambia hakujua kama ana hela kiasi kile, achukue ile hela akatafute lodge/hotel na akishapata amjulishe. Mwisho wa siku sijui nini kiliendelea.
    4. Case3: hii imemtoke rafiki yangu kabisaaa. Alikuwa anatafuta kazi, boss wa kampuni binafsi akamwambia aende bagamoyo siku ya ijumaa apelekee cv then atarudi kwao jumapili. Kampuni ipo dar, rafiki yangu na huyo bosi wote wanaishi dar ila cv ipelekwe bagamoyo. Hili likamshinda.
    5. Nimejaribu kuelezea case moja moja katika kila level tupime uzito ingawa nina mifano mingi ya hivyo.
    6. Sababu za zawadi ya rushwa:
    7. 1.Uzembe. reference ni case 2. Kama mdada asingezembea mtihani ina maana asingekumbana na mauza uza ya prof. wanawake nao hujitakia na ndio maana yanawafika haya.
    8. 2. kutokujiamini. Baadhi ya wadada hawajiamini kama wanaweza simama bila kushikwa mkono.
    9. 3.kupenda mtelemko kama wengine walivyosema.
    10. 4. mazingira kwa ujumla. Mazingira yanachangia kwa kiasi kikubwa na walimu wengi pamoja na maboss maofisini wamekosa maadili ya kazi. Refer case1.
    11. Jibu la swali lako la 3: wapo wanaotoa rushwa huku hawapendi na wanajutia wanachofanya ila kwa namna moja au nyingine wanahisi hawawezi kufanikiwa bila kufanya hivo, watu wa hivyo kuna uwezekano wakawa walezi wazuri tu as hawatopenda kuona watoto wao wanapitia waliyoyafanya. Watu waliozoea mteremko sidhani kama watakuwa wazazi bora labda mazingira yawabadilishe tena baada ya kuwa na watoto.
     
  5. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Jan 13, 2010
    Messages: 14,214
    Likes Received: 150
    Trophy Points: 160
    Lizzy inawezekana umeshaulizwa hili au kuna mtu keshachangia huko nyuma. Umeshajaribu kuliangalia hili tatizo kwa jicho lingine? Sina maana kuwa unachosema sio kweli. Lakini kuna baadhi ya wanafunzi wachache ambao kutokana na hali wanayojikuta nayo wanakuwa hawana jinsi bali kugawa ngono kwa walimu wao. Wako baadhi ya wasichana wanawekwa na walimu wao katika mazingira ambayo itabidi wagawe ngono tuu. Remember the relationship kati ya mwalimu na mwanafunzi has never and will not be equal.

    Sometimes, the student just doesn't have a choice ukizingatia mwalimu ndie anayeshika mpini. Ndio maana hata sheria inatambua kuwa uhusiano kati mwalimu na mwanafunzi is based on trust and confidence. But there some teachers out there who abuse this trust. Pia wapo wanafunzi ambao wanajua kuwa baadhi ya walimu wana-abuse this trust, so wanatumia this as an opportunity kujilengesha. H
    ao wanaogawiwa ngono ni wa kulaumiwa pia, otherwise wanafunzi wasingeweza kugawa.

    Tatizo lingine ambalo nimeliona ni kwamba walimu wengi wa siku hizi did not intend to become teachers. Kwa wengine imetokea tuu kwamba hawakuwa na pass marks za kutosha kuwawezesha kusoma kozi walizozipenda, so the last option was kuwa mwalimu. Wanasema ualimu ni wito. Na mwalimu mwenye wito na anayejua na kufanya kazi yake ipasavyo, sidhani kama atafanya ngono na mwanafunzi wake hata kama huyo mwanafunzi anajilengesha.

    Sorry sikujibu maswali yako.
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Paragraph ya mwisho inahusu sana.Unakuta wale ambao wako qualified wanakosa nafasi za maana kwa kushindwa kuridhisha hao wanaotaka kuzawadiwa ngono. . . matokeo yake hao wanaopewa hizo nafasi wanafanya mambo vuluvulu kwasababu hawana ujuzi wala hawajali kushindwa kwasababu kwao haiwezekani.
     
  7. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #7
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
    Messages: 65,028
    Likes Received: 15,938
    Trophy Points: 280
    Ngono iko overrated sana kwa maoni yangu. Mimi sijawahi kabisa kuzuzuka na ngona hadi nikashindwa kujitambua.

    Hivyo kamwe hakuna mwanamke atakayekuja kwangu kwa gia ya ngono adhanie eti nitampa favor flani. Never ever.

    Halafu ni uchafu kwa mwanamke kujigawa gawa hivyo ili apewe favors.
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Futa hiyo kauli ya "wanawake wengi bana"

    Nwy ni kweli madhara yake yanaenda mbali sana, imagine huyo anaejua kupata vitu kwa kutoa mwili wake tu. . . unadhani hata akija kuwa mke wa mtu ataacha?Ndio mwanzo wa kuleteana magonjwa majumbani.
     
  9. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
    Messages: 21,797
    Likes Received: 53
    Trophy Points: 145
    Ni aina tu nyingine ya uchangu doa kamanda, anauza mbunye apate something, tofauti ni venue/mazingira
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Well angalau sasa tuna matumaini ya kupata watu wachache ambao wakiwa kwenye nafasi za juu watatoa nafasi kwa wengine kihalali. Ubaya ni kwamba jamii yetu ndivyo inavyoongozwa, kwa kuunganisha viungo kwaajili ya favours.
     
  11. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Japo inauma huo ndio ukweli. . . alafu utakuta hao hao wanawaponda wale wanaojiuza barabarani?Angalau wale wako wazi.
     
  12. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #12
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 15, 2006
    Messages: 65,028
    Likes Received: 15,938
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kwa mtu yeyote kutumia kiungo chake cha ngono kama mtaji, kwa maoni yangu, ni lowest of the low.

    But hey, kila mtu na maisha yake.
     
  13. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
    Messages: 15,404
    Likes Received: 91
    Trophy Points: 145
    yote hayo n ni matokeo ya roho mbaya za wanaume kupenda kutumia udhaifu wa wanawake kujinufaisha kimwili. tuchukulie swala la ajira,suppose lizzy jinsi soko la ajira lilivogumu leo hii boss wa tbl hrm tena aseme anataka k katika wadada mia wangapi watakataa? maisha na wanaume ndo vinaharibu wadada.ila mimi namshukuru mungu toka la kwanza hadi chuo nilitumia akili yangu ata kazi yangu niliipata kiuhalali kabisa
    ingawa watu hawaachi kuchonga ila ndo ukweli,
     
  14. Mwanakili90

    Mwanakili90 JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Nov 24, 2010
    Messages: 1,568
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 135
    kuna uzi uliwai kuwekwa hapa jf.na ulikuwa unaelezea ukubwa la tatizo ili la gift ya....
    Na ilikuwa inasema 75% kama sikosei ya wanawake walioajiriwa serikalini na sector binafsi walivuliwa sketi.
    Nilikua nakazia tu uzi.
     
  15. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
    Messages: 21,797
    Likes Received: 53
    Trophy Points: 145
    sidhani kama ni sahihi

    unamlaumu anayeuza au anayenunua??
     
  16. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
    Messages: 15,404
    Likes Received: 91
    Trophy Points: 145
    wewe vp si kweli mimi niko kwenye taasisi ambayo sijaona hicho kitu
    sema source ya iyo data
     
  17. Obe

    Obe JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Dec 31, 2007
    Messages: 1,682
    Likes Received: 8
    Trophy Points: 135
    Hii ni kati ya rushwa ngumu sana japo taarifa na wakati mwingine mazingira huonesha kuwa baadhi ya wanawake wachache na wasiojiamini na kile walichonacho kichwani, huamua kutumia mwili ili kupata favor hizo ulizotaja. Kuna huu wa uchu wa ngono (lust) miongoni mwa waajiri ( waajiri wengi ni wanaume-hasa kwa hapa kwetu), hawa wakati mwingine wanapomuona mwombaji mwanamke huongozwa na uchu badala ya vigezo.

    Kutojiamini na kudhani kuwa 'uchi' ni mpango kamili ambao unaweza kuutumia katika majadiliano ya kazi na vitu vingine ni udhaifu unaofanya hata wanawake wengi wanaopata nafasi kwa kutumia akili, busara na hekima zao basi waonekane kama wametumia 'silaha uchi' kupata wanayoshika
     
  18. Mzalendo80

    Mzalendo80 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Oct 30, 2010
    Messages: 2,339
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0

    Hapo kwenye RED mkuu umezungumza, na matokeo yake tunayaona kwenye Serikali ya Kikwete wala tusiende mbali inaelekea wamejaa serikalini
     
  19. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
    Messages: 15,404
    Likes Received: 91
    Trophy Points: 145
    wote kwanini umsaidie mtu kisa ngono? ni ufisadi pia
     
  20. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Dec 24, 2011
    Joined: May 25, 2009
    Messages: 22,194
    Likes Received: 122
    Trophy Points: 160
    Smiley kweli hili ni swala la kulaumu wanaume?
    Hao wanawake wanakazimishwa au wanajilazimisha?Kuna lawama zakuwatupia wanaune ila hii sio moja wapo kwa maoni yangu.
     
Loading...