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Yupi anafaa kua mume...Ushauri plz

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by dadam, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. dadam

    dadam Member

    #1
    Mar 26, 2012
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    Mimi ni msichana wa miaka 27. Nimewahi kua na uhusiano wa kimapenzi na kijana mmoja ambaye alikua ndiye mwanaume wa kwanza kwangu ila tuliachana baada ya kugundua kua mwenzangu baada ya kupata kazi hakua na mawasiliano (hata msg) nami kwa takribani miezi miwili kwa madai kua alikua bize.

    Baada ya kuachana nae niliamua kua single na kukaa hivyo kwa mwaka mzima ambapo alijitokeza kijana mmoja tuliejuana Facebook nakuonyesha kunipenda sana. Sikua nikimwamini hasa kutokana na tulipokutana. Kubwa zaidi, nilimuona kua ni mdogo kua na mimi (amenipita kwa miezi mitatu tu) na tukiwa pamoja mimi naonekana mkubwa kwake kwani ana baby face.

    Kijana huyu anaishi mwanza namimi naishi Dar. Kilichonifanya nimkubalie ni ule upendo aliokua akinionyesha. Alikua akitoka mwanza kwa ajili yangu, atakuja dar na kutumia siku zote na mimi bila kuwaona rafiki zake wala ndugu zake. Atakuja kila mwezi japo w. end na popote anapopata off kazini.

    Anajali, ananipenda, atafanya lolote kwa ajili yangu. Mfano, alikua anakunywa pombe ila siku ya kwanza tu kukutana na kugundua kua sipendi pombe aliacha, hakua akienda kanisani ila tangu nimuulize amekua akienda bila shida. Kila mara huniambia anatamani angeweza kunifanya niwe na furaha siku zote.

    Dada Dinnah, mi sio muombaji, sikuwahi kumuomba mwanaume hela au vitu kama vocha. Kaka huyu hunitumia vocha kila siku na mara kwa mara huniwekea hela Bank au kwa M Pesa hadi kuna kipindi tunashindwa kuelewana kwani naona anafanya too much. Anapokuja hunifanyia shopping na akiondoka huniachia hela.

    Kielimu nimemzidi (ana degree) ila ana kazi yenye kipato kizuri, mimi elimu yangu ni degree ya pili (Masters)nafanya kazi ila pia nasoma postgraduate diploma ktk chuo kikuu cha dar es salaam kwa hiyo pamoja na majukumu mengine najilipia ada. Nasema hivi kuonyesha kua angeweza asifanye yote hayo akiamini kua nina uwezo.

    Ana mtoto aliyempata akiwa sekondari na aliniambia mapema tu na maelezo yake yanaridhisha(mwanamke keshaolewa).

    Tatizo nililo nalo ni kua, sijisikii kuvutiwa na huyu kaka, kwanza hajui kukiss nimejaribu kumfundisha ila naona hataaaa haelekei. Sijui midomo (lips) yake migumu na midogo..hata sielewi. Sipendi harufu ya kinywa chake, mwili wake hata akitoka kupiga mswaki au kuoga.

    Pumzi yake ndo sitaki kabisaaaaaa akinihemea nashindwa kuhema. Kuna muda hata anishike vipi nahisi kama naumia na hata kama nilikua na nyege zinapotea.

    Kazini, kuna kaka mmoja ambaye tulianza kazi pamoja, tulikua marafiki (very close hadi watu wakawa wanatutania (girlfriend na boyfriend) sio siri huyu kaka alinivutia sana ila nikawa najitahidi kutokumuonyesha.

    Naye alikua akinambia kila siku anafurahi sana kufanya kazi pale kwani kumemkutanisha na mimi. Mara nyingi alipenda kua namimi, atanitembelea nyumbani, atanitoa out n.k kikubwa alijua kua nina boyfriend nami nilijua kua ana girlfriend. kosa nililolifanya ni kumkiss kwani siku tulipokiss tu sikuweza kumtoa mawazoni mwangu. He is a perfect kisser!!!

    Huu ulikua ni mwanzo wa kujikuta namsaliti kaka wa watu na kua na uhusiano na huyu kaka. Sio siri kama kuna kitu wanakiita soul mate huyu ndie pale linapokuja suala la mapenzi romance, sex, cuddling…etc he is very good.

    Tatizo la huyu kaka wa kazini sasa, mawasiliano kwake ni F. kwa siku nzima atanitumia msg moja tu nayo inasema SWEET DREAMS. Madai yake ni kua tumeonana kazini ambapo kazini kila mtu ana ofisi yake na hakuna la ziada zaidi ya HI! HI!

    Mara nyingi akinitafuta like w. end tunaishia kusex na atanirudisha nyumbani kwangu like two hours baada ya tendo. Anapenda sana Pombe na marafiki kwa hiyo anaweza kukaa wiki mbili bila kukutana nami tofauti na kazini na anaweza kunambia kesho nitakutafuta mchana but atakua na sababu ya kutokuja muda ukifika.

    Like ooh gari yangu imeharibika naenda garage, oooh naenda home kuwasalimia..mara oooh auncle anaumwa…ilimradi tu hatokuja.
    Msg nikimtumia anajibu after 3 or more hours au hatojibu kabisa.

    Nitakapokutana nae next day, ana sababu nzuri tu ya kutojibu na mara azote hujaribu kunielezea jinsi siku yake ilivyoisha. Hajawahi kunipa chochote kama zawadi au hela hata vocha ya 500.

    Ninamkasirikia sana mara nyingi niwapo peke yangu ila mara tu nitakapokutana nae ananifanya nasahau yooooote nakujiona nipo mwenyewe duniani.Nimechoka kuishi katika maisha haya ya mahusiano na watu wawili.

    Nashindwa nichague Yupi??? Naambiwa there is no perfect man ila kipi bora katika ndoa???nahitaji kuwa na familia baada ya mwaka mmoja na nusu tangu sasa.

    Nishaurini tafadhali.

    Poleni kwa maelezo marefu sana

     
  2. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 26, 2012
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    siamini mtu mwenye digrii 2 unashindwa kuona hapa.

    Anyway, mapenzi ya soulmate ni kwenye tamthilia tu.

    Kuna aina ya wanawake wanapenda players.
     
  3. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 26, 2012
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    au niseme, huyo wa kazini mnapitisha muda tu, atakuwa kashindwa kukuambia muwe 'friends with benefit' au 'sex with no strings attached'

    sasa uwe mbayuwayu.
     
  4. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 26, 2012
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    haya haya wanaume wa jf mnaojua kukiss na kudoo vizuri jitokezeni mje muokoe jahazi linazama (joke)
     
  5. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 26, 2012
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    hawafai wote,tafuta mwingine.....keep on going to social places like kny mihadhara,mikutano pub utampata mwingine,wanaume wapo kibao...lazima utampata anayetick all boxes!
     
  6. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 26, 2012
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    wow!!!! maelezi marefu ila gud.
    sasa bana to be honest with u naona wote wawili hawakufai.
    huyo wa mwanza tho caring u just cnt have intimacy with him which is wat marriage is all abt
    huyu wa kazini seems to know how to push the right buttons with u and certainly kuna intimacy na great romance but he does not care abt u or atleast doeant see u as hiz future wife.....to him u just a frend wwith benefits.....and that is all u will be.

    so wat i advise u to do ni kumwambia ukweli yulejamaa wa mwanza kuwa hapa hamna future yoyote....so kaka tafuta mwengine. dont give people qhere there is none.
    huyu wa kazini mie naona just have fun since u enjoying his artwork on ur warmspot jist continie wnjoying but know full well its just fun.
    kuhusu kupata familia then i suggest u luk for another man ila opportunity cost ni kumubwaga huyu jamaa that does u well in bed.....kazi kwako!!!!!!
     
  7. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 26, 2012
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    huyu wa kazini anampenzi wake ampendaye hapa kwa bibie anamchezea tuu.
     
  8. dadam

    dadam Member

    #8
    Mar 26, 2012
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    asante kwa ushauri, ila, unanishauri nini kwa huyo wa kwanza pia???
     
  9. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 26, 2012
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    huyu wa kazini anampenzi wake ampendaye hapa kwa bibie anamchezea tuu tena baada ya kuona demu mwenyewe amejilengesha
     
  10. m

    mzabzab JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 26, 2012
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    hahaa degrees pprelare u for ur profesional life but do littlein teaching u abt emetional intelligence!!!!
     
  11. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 26, 2012
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    sijui, nadhani elimu inatusaidia kuwa realistic na kufanya maamuzi magumu inapolazimu.

     
  12. dadam

    dadam Member

    #12
    Mar 26, 2012
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    lol...thanx alot kwa ushauri. Tatizo la huyu wa kwanza, nimeshajaribu kuachana nae zaidi ya mara tatu lakini hakubali kushindwa. he can even cry. yaani ninavyomwambia hakuna future anasema sawa tu kwani hatoweza kumpenda mwanamke mwingine na kama asiponioa hatooa tena. nimetumia njia nyingi hadi rafiki zake wanamshauri aniache lakini hataki kabisa. nimejaribu hata kuongea na rafiki zake wamsaidie matokeo yake alikunywa sumu na kuponea hospitali. he becomes so depressed nikimwambia kuhusu kuachana na atakuja kwa garama yoyote ilimradi tulisolve
     
  13. Mrembo

    Mrembo JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 26, 2012
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    my opinion; huyo wa kazini anakutumia, hana mapenzi na wewe. trust me mtu anayekupenda hawezi kosa mda wa kujibu msge au kupiga sim (in other words, he is not thinking of you when you are not with him)

    huyo wa mwanza anaonekana ana mapenzi ya kweli, lakini are you willing kuishi na mtu usie na feelings naye? Yaani iyo ndoa itakuwa karaha badala ya raha.

    Ushauri; tafuta mwanaume mwingine, hapo hamna anayekufaa. Huyo wa kazini unaweza kuendelea naye uku ukitafuta atakayekufaa.
     
  14. dadam

    dadam Member

    #14
    Mar 26, 2012
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    duu..education ni kitu kingine ndugu zangu. yawezekana tuliishia kung'ang'ania kitabu sasa mapenzi yanatuumbua
     
  15. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #15
    Mar 26, 2012
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    Yaani huu ushuhuda wako unanifanya roho iumeeee..... Where are the brothers? Wakaka/wababa wa kuona wanapatikana wapi kwa mtindo huu? Sad.

    Huyo kijana ambae mko the same age… Sababu umekua wazi kua humpendi it is beta tu uachie ngazi mapema….. Na ni kweli kua ni mdogo kwako as much as wote mpo Umri mmoja. Kwa maelezo yako naamini ni kweli anakupenda… Ila bado hajakomaa sana kifikra na kimatendo. Nasema hajakomaa kwa sababu zifuatazo…

    Mwanaume hata kama kakupenda vipi ni lazima aweke nafasi ya rafiki/ndugu/jamaa…. Labda tu itokee mlipanga kuspend a weekend kama siku mbili hivi kwa ajili yenu tu. Ila inapotokea anakaa mda mrefu hapo mjini na asitafute ndugu /rafiki/jamaa yeyote na wapo wengi ni dhahiri kua bado yupo katika stage ya kuwehuka na Mapenzi. Hivo basi atakapo kaa sawa huyu aweza badilika vibaya mno.

    Mahusiano ya watu wazima hambadilishani tabia…. Mna compromise na kurekebishana taratibu with time… Haiwezekani amekuja mara moja atake kuacha pombe, mara moja aende kanisana na mara moja a transform tabia zote ambazo wewe hupendi. Lazima ata lapse na kurudi tabia zake. Mwanaume alo mature atakuambia kua sasa kama hupendi nitapunguza taratibu na kujitahidi kutofanya kwa sana…. Hio ya kubadilika yaweza kuja with time.

    BTW Ni marufuku when a man takes care of you to the maximum uanze kusema Punguza… Wewe kua mvumilivu atapunguza tu! Believe me you he won’t do it forever…. Na hata akifanya forever lazima itapungua kiasi Fulani.

    Huyo kaka wa Kazini naomba pitia HAPA (Do you feel Loved?)
     
  16. dadam

    dadam Member

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    Mar 26, 2012
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    thanx dada Ney
     
  17. Mrembo

    Mrembo JF-Expert Member

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    hapa naona unadeal na mwanaume ambaye ameshakuwa rejected na wanawake wengi, yaani anaona wewe ndio kimbilio, sasa na wewe ukimkataa matokeao yake ndio hayo. if you care about him jaribu kuongea naye in a friendly way kuhusu tatizo lake la harufu, huwenda likaweza kutibiwa. ila akishaibiwa ndi ujiandae kushare maana ndio itakuwa fungulia mbwa.
     
  18. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Mar 26, 2012
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    wanamme wachache sana wasafi kabla ya kuoa.

    Harufu ya mdomo, mbona kuna tiba?
    Harufu ya pua aende hospitali

    kukiss mfundishe, we siku ya kwanza hukubabaika?
    Kiuno hakikuwa kama gari imekata senta bolt?

    Anyway, sasabu humpendi ndo maana huoni solution.
    Ila utakutana naye akiwa ameshaoa na kapendeza, roho itakuumaje?

    Mpigishe mswaki asubuhi na kila anapomaliza kula.
    Mtafutie deodorants za mwili
    anza kumwangalia positively, anaonakana ni mtu responsible
    na hiyo ndo uanamme, we bado unahangaika na masharobaro.

     
  19. BPM

    BPM JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 26, 2012
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    hahaha tatizo la egoli, sunset beach ndo hlo. . mnapenda vitu vya muda kuliko halisia. . huyo unaemuna ananuka kwa vile umempata wa kulinganisha? je wakati unbnza kumvulia chupi ulikuwa umeziba pua? huwez mkashfu mtu aliyekamili kwa mapungufu yako. . hujatulia, jiulize uamue usitaman vitu vya kupita viwezavyo kuhama.
     
  20. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 26, 2012
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    nakuambia uwe mbayuwayu, za kuambiwa changanya na zako.

    Tatizo naloliona kwa wa Mwanza ni humpendi, otherwise ni perfect.

    Huwezi kujifunza kumpenda?

    Unaweza jikuta unakataa weee, unaishia kuwa nyumba ndogo muda ukienda.
    Na sisi sisi, will condem you.
     
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