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Yes we cheat on our partiners too

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kuchayaa, Jul 14, 2012.

  1. K

    Kuchayaa Senior Member

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    Going by the results of a recent Ipsos Synovate survey in Kenya, one would be forgiven for assuming that men would tolerate unfaithfulness in their wives/girlfriends over having them wear miniskirts.
    In the nationwide survey conducted in June this year to find out what irks each gender about the other, unfaithfulness topped women’s list of the most annoying male habits/things, with 44 per cent naming it as their pet peeve.
    On the other hand, most men found it annoying for women to dress indecently; only 7 per cent of the men polled thought unfaithfulness in women was annoying.
    However, digging deeper, the possible reason for men’s apparent indifference could be that men do not imagine that their women can cheat. The thought of unfaithful women does not even cross most men’s minds, especially if the women in question are their wives.
    Men refuse to believe that their women would do the unthinkable, something that Keziah Mwende* can attest to. The 33-year-old mother of one cheated on her husband Lucas* but he never found out. She strayed because her husband of four years no longer found her sexy.
    “After I got my baby our sex life suddenly changed because Lucas no longer saw me as a woman. He saw me as just a mother to his child, whom he did not want to touch or make love to. He did not even acknowledge my beauty like before,” she sighs.
    Regaining self-esteem
    Keziah was trying to get back into shape and be more desirable but he neither encouraged nor acknowledged her efforts. What hurt her most is that whenever they bumped into any of his female colleagues the first words out of his mouth would be, “You look beautiful,” words that she could not get him to say to her.
    To make matters worse, he would steal side glances at beautiful women who passed by.
    “I tried talking to him about how unattractive his behaviour made me feel, but he dismissed me and told me to focus on the baby. That is when I decided to do something to validate myself as a woman.
    “I continued dressing up, working out at the gym, and got more sociable with men and funny enough many men, with the exception of my husband, took notice of me,” she recalls.
    She says she did not mean to cheat on Lucas but a man she met at the gym liked her and appreciated her curves, and one thing led to another. “I loved it. It reaffirmed that I am still desirable to men, but I regret it.
    I have not done it again and I am trying to get Lucas to notice me, but now I know that if he does not want me, there are many other men who are keen to have me.” Keziah was never caught, and if her husband is like other men, he would have said that other women may cheat but his own would never stray.
    28-year-old businessman Jacob Ochieng is one of them. From his informal observations of the social scene, he knows that while women cheat as much as men, he can’t imagine his own partner being part one of them.
    Women are very discreet which a good thing because if a woman is cheating a man should never know. The outcome can be very nasty if he finds out. It is also very difficult to find out if a woman is cheating unless you enlist the services of a spy to catch her. They fool us very easily into thinking that all is well while they are busy fooling around with someone else,” he says.
    Insatiable women?
    Jacob adds that it is especially difficult to figure out that a woman is cheating when she appears to have it all. He wonders why financially stable career women would want to cheat, but on second thought, offers that while they seem to have it all such women lack affection which they seek from outside, leading to cheating.
    “Women are insatiable and no matter how well you take care of yours, there could still be something which you are not doing that she could decide to seek outside. And unlike men, who get caught easily, a woman will only get caught if she wants her husband to find out.”
     
  2. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    hongereni, chukueni kombe.
     
  3. ndetichia

    ndetichia JF-Expert Member

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    duuu kwa hali hii si watu wa senti abdala kazi ipo..
     
  4. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

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    Again ukisema wa nini wenzio wasema nitampa lini, wanaume wa huku kwetu hawapendi kuappreciate their spouses. A simple revalidation could make a positive impact in your union.
     
  5. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Whoever thinks women don't cheat is breathtakingly naive.
     
  6. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

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    lakini afadhali sie tunasukumwa na sababu zaidi kuliko wanaume wenyewe so long as wamepata opportunity they will cheat.....:baby:
     
  7. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hiyo ya kusukumwa na sababu ni lame!

    Hakuna anayecheat bila sababu. Hata nyege nazo ni sababu. Iwe curiosity ya kutaka kujua mwenzio kitandani yukoje nayo ni sababu. Iwe ni kwa sababu mwenzako haonyeshi kukujali nayo ni sababu.

    Wapo wanawake wanao cheat kisa tu yule wanaye cheat naye wamemuona ni mzuri na mwenye mvuto kama ilivyo kwa baadhi ya wanaume.

    Kwa hiyo hakuna asiye cheat bila sababu.
     
  8. Father of All

    Father of All JF-Expert Member

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    Kucheat kwaweza kupewa kila sababu ila siku mhusika akinasa anajuta na sababu zake zinaonekana si sababu kitu bali kutafuta balaa. Nyie endeleeni. Kikiumana msianze kulia lia na kulaumiana. Mshahara wa dhambi jamani ni mauti au hamnielewi baba yenu?
     
  9. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

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    mnh kuna wale wake zao wana kila kitu nao wanacheat,utasema nisababu gani imewasukuma??
     
  10. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #10
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    Well, sababu zinatofautiana baina ya mtu na mtu. Baadhi ya sababu zinaweza kuwa kunuka kwa K (usione wanawake wamevaa wamependeza....wengine huko chini wanatoa harufu mbaya sana na harufu mbaya ni mood killer), kunuka mdomo, low sex drive, vaginal dryness (K ikiwa imelowana ndo inakuwa tamu zaidi)....

    Kwa hiyo unaposema kila kitu sijui unamaanisha nini hasa maana muonekano tu wa nje haujumuishi kila kitu. Kuta za nyumba zinaficha mengi sana.
     
  11. Jestina

    Jestina JF-Expert Member

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    yaaani mpaka unamuweka ndani ulikuwa hujui hayo mapungufu??? mnh.....
     
  12. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Mapungufu mengine hujitokeza mbele ya safari.

    Ujue pia mwanzoni mwa mapenzi watu hujitahidi kuficha mapungufu yao. Na kwa uzoefu wangu watu wakishaoana mambo hubadilika...hali halisi ya maisha ya ndoa mara nyingi hutofautiana na hali halisi ya dating life.

    Mfano wakati mna date wote ama mmoja wenu atajitahidi sana kujisafi ili akuvutie. Lakini mkishasema 'I do' tu mambo taratibu yanaanza kubadilika. Mara mwenzio anaanza kunuka kikwapa wakati ulikuwa hujawahi kusikia harufu ya kikwapa toka kwake. Alikuwa anaoga mara mbili kwa siku na sasa anaweza kukaa hata siku mbili hajaoga.

    Mara mwenzio anaota kitambi ilhali wakati mna date hakuwa na kitambi.....mwishowe kidogo kidogo mvuto kwake unaanza kupungua na matokeo yake nawe unaanza kuangaza kwingine.

    Such is life.
     
  13. Ruttashobolwa

    Ruttashobolwa JF-Expert Member

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    We can not deny that
     
  14. Me370

    Me370 JF-Expert Member

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    kwa sisi tusiooa ma girlfriend wetu nao wanacheat?
     
  15. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

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    Too much details NN and Neema.
    Me370, tena hao ndo kabisaa!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 15, 2012
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    Wanaume wanafikiri cheating is meant for them only enh??hehehehee siku hizi imekua kama mashindano ya olimpiki wanawake nao hawapo nyuma..haki sawa kwa wote..
     
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