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Yepi ni mazingira hatarishi?..tunayaepukaje?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by SnowBall, Aug 10, 2012.

  1. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    WanaJamvi Salaam
    Mara nyingi kwenye mahusiano/ndoa kuna kitu kinaitwa wivu. Wivu unaelezwa kuwa ni kipimo cha kupima kama mwenzio anakupenda ama la. Japo wengine wanadai wivu ni kutojiamini katika mapenzi ama mahusiano/ndoa. Vyovyote unavyoweza tafsiri basi itoshe kusema wivu upo kwenye mapenzi na wengine husema mapenzi bila wivu ni sawa na shule bila mitihani.

    Ninachotaka kukiwasilisha hapa ni ile hali ya kuwa 'watched out' kwenye mapenzi. Ninaweza nisimaanishe wivu moja kwa moja but idea yangu ni kutaka kufahamu mazingira ambayo ni 'vulnerable to cheating' na jinsi ya kuyatambua ili kama ukiyaona kwa mwenzio basi uchukue tahadhari before madhara hayajakuwa makubwa.

    Mfano wengine husema housegirls ni hatari kwa waume zao alikadhalika madereva kwa wake zao. Wengine huenda mbali zaidi na kusema hata mabosi kazini ni hatari kwa wake/waume zao. Lakini kuna wanaodai hata walimu na ma'professor' ni hatari kwa mahusiano yao. Hawa niliowataja ni 'personalities' tu..lakini je ni kwa namna gani unaweza kusema mfano kwamba huyu hg keshaanza kuwa 'zingira hatarishi'..au huyu boss keshakuwa zingira hatarishi..n.k. In what circumstances should a person be watched out that her/his lover is about to be swept away with these pre-cheating signals??

    Kiujumla inaweza ikawa vigumu sana kujua ni kwa kiwango gani mazingira hatarishi yanaathiri mahusiano yenu. Pengine labda ni kwa sababu ni hatua za mwanzo za kuelekea kwenye full udanganyifu. Lakini nilichokuwa nakiomba hapa wanajamvi ni ku'share' ideas jinsi ya kuyatambua mazingira hatarishi ya mapenzi na jinsi ya kuyaepuka. Lakini pia ni kwa namna gani unaweza kuona kwamba my lover s/he is about to be trapped in the so called mazingira hatarishi..Naombeni tujadili kutokana na uzoefu wenu kwenye hii 'industry'
     
  2. j

    jeneneke JF-Expert Member

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    This is so difficulty to me as that thing is very subjective.nngoja nisubiri waungwana wenye ujuzi wao.
     
  3. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu mi naomba nichangie kwa kuzingatia hapo kwa red
    Mazingira hatarishi yanaweza kujengwa na muhusika mwenyewe au mwenza wake anaweza kumjengea au mtu mwingine tofauti (kama hao uliowataja) anaweza kumjengea.

    Unaweza kuona kwamba your lover is about to be trapped through that mazingira hatarishi kwa kuangalia mabadiliko ya tabia zake, routines, new peer groups anazozianzisha n.k
     
  4. sakapal

    sakapal JF-Expert Member

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    moja ya mazingira hatarishi ni hii mitandao ya kijamii ambayo mtu anaweza kuwa nayo muda wowote ambao hayupo na mume/mke. Kwa upande wangu mi naona ni ngumu sana kugundua mazingira hatarishi ya mwenzako na ukiona signs au dalili za kucheat zimeanza kujionesha kwa nje kama kukujibu vibaya, kutokupigia simu au msg au kutotabasamu au kutokuwa na muda wa maongezi nawe au ugomvi usiokuwa na kichwa wala miguu ujue cheat iko stage 2 au 3, kwani cheat huanza kwa siri na ikianza kujulikana ujue imekomaa.
    Ninacho kifanya mm coz niko kwenye ndoa ni kumpa mtu uhuru wake na kumpa nafasi ajitambue yeye ni nani na ajue umuhimu wangu nikiwepo na nikiwa mbali then akinote mabadiliko kwangu mwenyewe anarudi kundini na maisha yanaendelea. Wakati mwingine nawe unajifanya busy na kitu as if kuna mtu anakukeep busy kuliko yeye hiyo itampa wivu na atarudi kukuweka sawa na maisha yanaendelea. Asikwambie mtu bana mkuki kwa ngurue kwa binadamu mchungu na mwisho wa yote mtangulize mungu akulindie huyo mahabuba wako asiibiwe na magumegume au magubegube lol
     
  5. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

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    Mmh sakapal hiyo kwa red mbona inafanana na dawa ya moto ni moto? wakati kumbe dawa ya moto ni maji
     
  6. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Ain't your ever tasted love?
    Just be free to share ur experience!
     
  7. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    How do you take a step once your lover has been addicted with social network?
     
  8. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Would u go a bit further buddy?
     
  9. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

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    kuhusu mabadiliko ya tabia zake nadhani sakapal aweka vizuri ktk comment yake

    routines ni kama vile ghafta unaona mtu anaanza tabia za kurudi home usiku bila sababu za msingi, anakwenda sehemu kwenye starehe (club, bar, disco n.k) isivyo kawaida yake.

    new peer groups - mara unaona anaanzisha urafiki na watu unaowaona hawana tabia nzuri

    Solution: ni kukaa pamoja na kuyazungumza, be open and express your feeling
     
  10. sakapal

    sakapal JF-Expert Member

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    mmmh patamu hapo kama na wewe uko addictect na hii mitandao wivu utakuwa mkubwa ila kama wewe hauko ni yeye ndo yuko addicted lol kwanza unaanza kumplease na si kutumia nguvu au ubabe au ugomvi. Unamplease mkiwa home na comm with social its u and him/her. Then unaanza wewe kumtext msg za mapenz ambazo ulikuwa hujamtumia long ago au ambazo nawe unazituma mtandaoni na akikaa bila kujibu wampigia ukideka mbona hunijibu msg yangu? unadeka but angalizo usimboe wala usiwe kero unamheal taratibu na kumteka mawazo yake yahame huko aliko na ahamie kwako na hii inataka subira vinginevyo waweza susa na kuamua kuacha.
    Lastly ikishindikana naomba maongezi na kumwambia kwa upole live nilichokigundu kwake ni hiki na hiki na sifurahishwi nacho na kumuomba aache kwani kuwa busy na wengine ni kuwapa wengine chance ya kunikeep nami busy then unamuuliza we utafurah mm nikifanya mabo unayofanya? tutengeneze tuendelee kuishi utaona tu atavokuwa na wivu hapo utapomwambia ukifanya kama anavofanya lol mkuki kwa ngurue bana.......
     
  11. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Nice experience to share!
     
  12. j

    jeneneke JF-Expert Member

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    i tried and was faifhfuly and they were cheaters so sielewi kama alivyosema sakapali ni vigumu kujua ni mazingira gani hatarishi.ni swal la udhaifu na tabia ya mtu vinginevyo tutasema tusikae na h/grl/wapenzi wasichangamane na oppositesex and so many.
     
  13. sakapal

    sakapal JF-Expert Member

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    sometimes dawa ya moto ni moto na inatibu kwelikweli kidonda choote kinapona ila usiige waweza kufa watumia pale inapofaa lol
     
  14. afrique

    afrique JF-Expert Member

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    umeelezea vizuri sana bravo!!
     
  15. sakapal

    sakapal JF-Expert Member

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    SnowBall where are u? wewe wasemaje? pamoja na kuwa ndo umeleta mada na kuomba ushauri in case it happens to u what will u do? au wafikiri kipi ni sahihi kufanya? am waiting......
     
  16. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Nilipata Housegirl mmoja, mavazi yake yalikuwa utata mtupu. Kawaida yangu sipendi kumfuatilia mtu sana hasa uvaaji; rafiki zangu wakanuonya nikawapuuza. Siku moja ambayo hadi mimi nilinotice, alivaa kanga moja nyepesi nyeupe na chupi nyekundu kaja ofisini kwangu; hapo kdg nikawa mkali na kumpakia kwenye gari na kumrudisha nyumbani.

    So tumeishi for sometime, na maconfidence yangu. Ikawa kuumwa ni kuumwa, baadaye naambia she is preg; kumuuliza anasema ni kweli na aliyempa mimba kampa pesa akaitoe; basi Kaunga mie si nkamsimulia mister. Tukamlipa kila kitu na kumpeleka stand ili aende kwao.

    Yaani kuja kugundua it was my man all along, yaani sijui mtoto anatambaa. Baada ya ugomvi na kila kitu, akaniambia jinsi gani alikuwa anadondosha kanga akitoka bafuni while Mr yuko living room. Kazi yangu ya kusafiri pia, hivyo ilitoa nafasi ya kutosha ya wao kuwa alone.

    Sasa sijui hii ni Mazingira au ni Ubazazi tu wa mwanaume?
     
  17. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

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    Hapo vyote ni sahihi, mazingira hatarishi pamoja na tabia ya wanaume ya kuendekeza tamaa za mwili.

    Niliwahi kuandika kwenye comments zangu kadhaa (not sure kama watu walinielewa) kuwa mwanaume ye yote rijali akishakuwa na maisha mazuri at least in TZ context, yaani akawa na vipesapesa vya kusumbulia mtaani Ni ngumu sana kushinda tamaa za mwili (ukizingatia hapo kwa blue) ikiwa hana ROHO wa Mungu.
     
  18. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    I don't have any option my dear sakapal
    Thus why i brought it here..so that we can dismantle it 2gather!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
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