Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Ya kweli haya?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Invisible, Oct 28, 2007.

  1. Invisible

    Invisible Admin Staff Member

    #1
    Oct 28, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2006
    Messages: 9,095
    Likes Received: 140
    Trophy Points: 160
    CHAGGA WOMEN
    First Date: You get to buy her Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance the whole night. You have to buy her credit, to organize for the second date.
    Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance to the whole night. You exchange your expensive phone with her nokia.
    Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
    Tenth Date: She tells you she is engaged and you are a kyasaka

    ZIGUA/ DIGO WOMEN

    First date: She wants your home address

    Second date: She comes home for the date with her brother (who is looking for a job)

    Third date: She ends at the door, her mother is waiting

    Fourth date: You have sex and she tells you she is pregnant and want you to take her and her baby


    WAHAYA WOMEN

    First Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
    Second Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
    20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.


    SUKUMA WOMEN

    First Date: You take her to a movie and an expensive restaurant.
    Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes ugali and chicken.
    Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
    4th Anniversary: You already have 3 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
    5th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

    HEHE WOMEN
    First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Guinness, and have sex in the back of your car.
    Second Date: She's pregnant.
    Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you get to eat rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice before you met her .

    ZARAMO WOMEN
    First date: You get to buy her dinner, but you realize nothing is going to happen.
    Second date: You wait for her in the same restaurant but she gets lost on the way.
    Third date: She does not even remember to pick your calls.


    NYAKYUSA WOMEN

    First date: After a date of drinking several bottles of Fanta, you get to kiss her goodnight.
    Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
    Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

    ZANZIBARI WOMEN
    First Date: You get dynamite head.
    Second Date: You get more great head.
    Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.


    MAASAI WOMEN

    First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
    Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
    Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

    MAKONDE WOMEN
    First date: Meet her parents.
    Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
    Third date: Wedding night and you get to ask her, her name


    PARE WOMEN
    First date: She wants sex, no food or drink
    Second date: She wants more sex
    Third date: She only wants chuma mboga
     
  2. R

    Rodelite JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 28, 2007
    Joined: Oct 28, 2007
    Messages: 317
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    That's very funny......
     
  3. Invisible

    Invisible Admin Staff Member

    #3
    Oct 28, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2006
    Messages: 9,095
    Likes Received: 140
    Trophy Points: 160
    Lol,

    Karibu sana Rodelite... It's ur 1st post and hope u'll stay with us!
     
  4. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 28, 2007
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
    Messages: 12,703
    Likes Received: 92
    Trophy Points: 145
    ...haha ahaaaa... "msifuye mvua imemnyea huyo", heri mie sijasema! ha ha haaa..

    thx Mkuu!!!!
     
  5. Mtoto wa Mkulima

    Mtoto wa Mkulima JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 29, 2007
    Joined: Apr 12, 2007
    Messages: 690
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 0

    Duh basi demu wangu wa Kipare huwa ananibania.
     
  6. YournameisMINE

    YournameisMINE JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 29, 2007
    Joined: Aug 29, 2007
    Messages: 2,463
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 145
    Oooh well, shit happens..........!! Great mkuu, thats how you end the weekend!!.
     
  7. M

    Misterdennis JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 29, 2007
    Joined: Jun 4, 2007
    Messages: 1,436
    Likes Received: 59
    Trophy Points: 145
    I have seriously to look for a Pare woman!!
     
  8. Invisible

    Invisible Admin Staff Member

    #8
    Oct 29, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2006
    Messages: 9,095
    Likes Received: 140
    Trophy Points: 160
    I bet the last sentence might be the one making you be interested with a pare girl. This' interesting. Huoni kama too much of anything becomes harmful?
     
  9. Mtaalam

    Mtaalam JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 29, 2007
    Joined: Oct 1, 2007
    Messages: 1,260
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 135
    ha ha haa verry funny haya kwa wale wapenda kuchuma mboga...mwajua wapi kwa kuelekea..ila jamaa mpaka kaweza kuelezea makabila yoote kaonja kote ama?
     
  10. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 6, 2007
    Joined: Oct 31, 2007
    Messages: 374
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Wasiopenda longolongo waelekee Upareni.
     
  11. K

    Kakalende JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 6, 2007
    Joined: Dec 1, 2006
    Messages: 3,260
    Likes Received: 19
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ole wao wanaopenda kujaribujaribu ... !
     
  12. Ben Saanane

    Ben Saanane Verified User

    #12
    Nov 6, 2007
    Joined: Jan 18, 2007
    Messages: 14,605
    Likes Received: 3,509
    Trophy Points: 280
    Teh, teh teh! Invisible acha masihara bro
     
  13. J

    Judy Senior Member

    #13
    Nov 6, 2007
    Joined: Aug 13, 2007
    Messages: 195
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Du, Invisible unatisha. For how long you have been researching on that?
     
  14. Invisible

    Invisible Admin Staff Member

    #14
    Nov 6, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2006
    Messages: 9,095
    Likes Received: 140
    Trophy Points: 160
    Eh, kibao kimenigeukia kumbe? Aah hapana nilitumiwa ujumbe huo nikaona niwashirikishe
     
Loading...