Would you marry me?

Da Womanizer said:
Exactly, thats my point dear.
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Naamini kua restrictions za gender ni biological and social zaidi, but at the individual level the boundary is fuzzy... and the personality may very well be the same, no matter your gender. but this is another (sensitive) debate that we can have later, maybe in another thread.
 
MAMMAMIA said:
Mimi mmoja nimekasirika kwa hiyo lugha uliyotumia kwenye red.
:focus:Labda nianze na kuelezea vile maisha yanapokuwa kabla na baada ya ndoa.
Wakati wa u-bf/u-gf:
- Kila mmoja anaishi kwao/kwake (hamko chini ya paa moja masaa 24). Katika kipindi hiki, kuonana yenu inakuwa ya nadra na kupanga. Kunakuwepo na maandalizi japo madogo kabla kuonana - nitoke vipi, niji-behave vipi, tuonane wapi (nisionekane). ME hata kama kachacha, siku hii atajipigapiga; KE atafanya aonekane asivyoonekana.Kila mmoja atataka aonekane mzuri, nje kimwonekano na ndani kitabia.
Mnapoishi pamoja, iwe kwenye ndoa au kukaa pamoja tu.
- Kwanza ile hali tu ya kuwepo pamoja tu 24hrs a day, 7days a week, all the time inabadilisha kila kitu, (hapa simaanishi kuwa hakuna anayeondoka alipo lakini katika masaa 24 ya siku angalau saa 6-8 mtakuwa pamoja). Hakuna tena kujiandaa uonekane vipi, kila mmoja anakuwa kama aivyo katika uhalisia wake, ambavyo mwenzake hakuwahi kumwona kabla ya kuishi pamoja. Zile caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...za wakati wa u-bf/-u-gf zinaanza kuyeyuka. Zile samahani zilizokuwa zinatolewa bure, mfano alipokuwa gf/bf unapiga simu imezimwa, hapatikani anazungumza dkk 30 saa moja badae unaambiwa nilikuwa mkutanoni, niliweka silence, iliisha chaji; ule uongo au kweli wa kuwa leo ninaenda kumwona shangazi, wiki ijayo nitakuwa mkutanoni... unaamini kila kitu bila ya maswali wala masharti; lakini mkiwa pamoja unaanza kuzidadisi, kuomba maelezo kamili, na pengine kutilia shaka.

Suluhisho
- Tuwe kama tulivyo wakati wa u-bf/u-gf. Usijaribu utake kuonekana vyengine na kujenga picha ambayo iko siku "itaungua" na kubaki "negative". Ikiwa atakukubali kama ulivyo leo na mkakubaliana iwe hivyo, atakayedai ziada anajitafutia presha za bure.

- Ndoa/kuishi pamoja ni ahadi na wajibu, timiza; ni haki, itoe; ni kuvumiliana, vumilia; ni kusamehe, samehe; ni kupenda na kuheshimiana, penda na heshimu ili nawe upendwe na kuheshimiwa.

- Ingawa wengine wanaweza kukataa, nahisi ule mvuto wa siku/miaka ya nyuma; zile nilizozitaja hapo juu: caring, worrying, treating, listening, behaving...zinaweza kufa kidogo kidogo kama hamkuzidumisha kwa maneno na vitendo; yale mapenzi moto moto yanaweza kufifia kidogo kidogo. Na sio kwa sababu hampendani wala hamtakani, lakini hamna wakati wa kutosha kama mlipokuwa mnaishi mbali mbali. Lakini kama alivyosema Lizzy, basi nobe ndani ya saa 24 unashindwa hata kumega saa moja ya kuwa na mpenzi wako ya kuishi mkajikumbusha na kutenda yale yaliyokuwa yanawapagaza mlipokuwa gf/bf?
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hapa umedadavua na kumaliza kila kitu... you can see the difference when an issue is being analysed from a matured person's perspective
 
Mwali said:
Naamini kua restrictions za gender ni biological and social zaidi, but at the individual the boundary is fuzzy... and the personality may very well be the same, no matter your gender. but this is another (sensitive) debate that we can have later, maybe in another thread.
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Hapo kwenye nyekundu huoni kuwa unajichanganya?? Hapo kwenye bluu uko sahihi, hii ni topiki nyingine kabisa....inayohitaji uzi unaojitegemea. Mwali hebu anzisha uzi basi wa hii kitu.
 
Da Womanizer said:
Hapo kwenye nyekundu huoni kuwa unajichanganya?? Hapo kwenye bluu uko sahihi, hii ni topiki nyingine kabisa....inayohitaji uzi unaojitegemea. Mwali hebu anzisha uzi basi wa hii kitu.
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Nimejichanganyaje mkuu? Hebu nieleze kwanza.
Mi nimesema naamini kua ningekua mwanaume personality yangu (individual) ingekua hii hii coz hakuna tofauti kubwa at that level. tofauit ingekua ya kibayolojia na kijamii zaidi.
Au nilivo andika haija reflet hivo?
 
Mwali said:
Nimejichanganyaje mkuu? Hebu nieleze kwanza.
Mi nimesema naamini kua ningekua mwanaume personality yangu (individual) ingekua hii hii coz hakuna tofauti kubwa at that level. tofauit ingekua ya kibayolojia na kijamii zaidi.
Au nilivo andika haija reflet hivo?
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Lets take this to a new thread, shall we?
 
Mwali said:
Alafu kwa nini wanaume wengi wanabadilika? wakitaka kula happy wanawaacha wake zao nyumbani wakati walipo kua boyfriend girlfriend walikua wanawapeleka kote? (sio wote)
Vile vile wanawake wanabadilika, wanalalamika kua wanaume hawana yale mapenzi walio kua nayo kabla ya kuoana. wanadai wanaume wanakua borring pia.
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Kabla ya kuoana, wanawake huwa wanajipenda sana (hawajiachii). Asilimia kubwa wakishaolewa wanajiachia na kunenepeana hovyo mpaka inakuwa soo kuongozana!
 
Chris_Mambo said:
Kabla ya kuoana, wanawake huwa wanajipenda sana (hawajiachii). Asilimia kubwa wakishaolewa wanajiachia na kunenepeana hovyo mpaka inakuwa soo kuongozana!
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nadhani mabadiliko huwa sometimes yanatokea kwa jinsia zote mbili (wanaume vitambi, ulevi etc) so tusiwalaumu wanawake peke yao
 
Mwali said:
Muongo huyo Anti! nilimkanya akakimbia haraka. he is just trying to position himself. lol
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You must stay firm dearest..... You know he can not position himself if he does not see where to pose...:eyebrows:

Mwali said:
Anti jamani, humjui Mwali wako? hivi unaamini kabisa naweza kufanya hivo? Baada ya miezi 3 ya kufundwa?
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Mwali hata the best students hua watereza..... Love, a person is capable of a lot. But bcoz sio muongo, your word carries water....lol
 
Mwali said:
Dah! kweli nikimpata huyo mtu lazima harusi mtasimamia nyinyi tu. Ona hapo in green vile mmoja ana echoe mwenzie...
Alafu in bold nimeelewa, I can be both alternatively, kufatana na mood, kufatana na mazingira... Asanteni sana Uncle na Anti.
Alafu hapo nilipo pigilia mstari, special thanks...
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Now you see why we are on happy couple filled with so much Love....lol..

On a serious note: Wanadamu twatofautiana, tukiwa tumetoka katika mazingira yalotofautiana, ikiambatana na malezi yalotofautiana... Hamuwezi watu mkaja juana more than 24 years of your lives and expect kua woote mtakua sawa kwa mtazama in everything (thou kuna rare cases kama mimi na Sweetie...lol) But at the end of the day..... Compromise.... Compromise is the best thing for a couple, na kuweza compromise in mambo mengi katika mahusiano yenu iwe urafiki ama ndoa inabidi kusomana, na ho haitoshi pia, inabidi kumuelewa mwenziol. B2T of being exactly the way you like.... TRUTH ni kwamba we don't have that luxury as time goes on there are things hata kama bado wapenda you let go, hasa ukiwa ndani ya ndoa.... But what ever the case never let go the side ambayo will always make your man proud....
 
Michelle said:
Chaboooooooooooooooo, on my way....najipaka dawa ya mbu nakuja hapo kuchungulia......am excited....lol :photo:

Mi mzima,wivu tu umenikaba...wenzangu wakisifiwa mi kila siku natangaziwa kasoro mpya...you are lucky,take care of Kaizer!
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Michelle naona in blue Sweetie is teaching you naughtiness....lol.... Huko kanisani mnasali kweli au mwacheka waumini wenzenu?

In maroon.... That dear I do it with Love and with Pleasure..... Lucky ME!
 
Michelle said:
Ngoja nikimpata mwingine nitakuja,....this one doesn't worth all that effort...lol
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Haya mambo dearest we need to learn sio kwa sababu ume aim kumfurahisha fulan, more because you want to be one of the best.... Kwamba hata ukiwa na mtu na hatimae kukutema.... You say I did my best! In the long run he says "She was the best gal ever in my life"..... Then you will know it was worth it and worth your energy...
 
Chris_Mambo said:
Kabla ya kuoana, wanawake huwa wanajipenda sana (hawajiachii). Asilimia kubwa wakishaolewa wanajiachia na kunenepeana hovyo mpaka inakuwa soo kuongozana!
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Hapa Chis nadhani what matters ni kutojiachia as a woman siku zoote kuhakikisha una mvuto. For kwa kweli ukiwa married na uzae, kupanuka in most cases ni inevitable, kikubwa usjiachie ukanenepeana... For there is a difference kati ya kuongezeka na kunenepeana....
 
Mwali said:
Sure. Ila jiandae kwa kutupiwa mawe. It is not an easy topic... anza nitakufata.
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Do me a favour, hebu nisaidie kuupost huo uzi kwa sababu ninaamini uko vizuri zaidi katika kuelezea kuliko mimi. On the other side, I am good at retaliating lol.
 
Da Womanizer said:
Do me a favour, hebu nisaidie kuupost huo uzi kwa sababu ninaamini uko vizuri zaidi katika kuelezea kuliko mimi. On the other side, I am good at retaliating lol.
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I have seen how other attempps to discuss this topic turned out. Watu wanatukanana, wengine wanasema mtoa mada ni shoga/msagaji etc. I am not ready to take that, leo ni weekend.
But kama kweli unataka tuyajadili (mimi na wewe) basi ngoja nianzishe group, mimi na wewe tujiunge, na kama kuna watu unao taka kujadili nao unawaomba wajiunge pia. waonaje mkuu?
 
Mwali said:
I have seen how other attempps to discuss this topic turned out. Watu wanatukanana, wengine wanasema mtoa mada ni shoga/msagaji etc. I am not ready to take that, leo ni weekend.
But kama kweli unataka tuyajadili (mimi na wewe) basi ngoja nianzishe group, mimi na wewe tujiunge, na kama kuna watu unao taka kujadili nao unawaomba wajiunge pia. waonaje mkuu?
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Hii idea nimeipenda sana mwali........Lets go group. You are incharge.
 
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