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Would you date/marry a HIV+ person?

Discussion in 'Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko' started by Quemu, Aug 12, 2008.

  1. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    Two weeks ago I went for a complete physical checkup (including HIV test). I went for the checkup after hiding for over two-and-half years. Years back, I used to go for the checkup annually, but for whatever reason(s), I skipped last two years (last was Nov. 05). Going for the test this time wasn't easy at all. There were about 15 days between making a decision and taking it. And between taking the test and going for results, I went thru emotional breakdowns - nervous, scared, and feeling all other "trash feelings.".....Well, with the exception of other "alarming" physical results (like high "almost-to-the-ceiling" cholesterol), everything came out fine. My WBC, RBC, MCV, MCH, Platelets are all within the range. And the most important of all, my HIV status is negative. Woh Hoo Hurraaayyyy!!!!!

    Anyhow, the whole physical-checkup-emotional-rollercoaster thing got me seriously thinking! Why are we so scared to know our HIV status? I mean, with all these medical advances that actually enable an HIV infected person to live longer than a Cancer and/or Diabetic patient, why are we still s.h.i.t.t.i.n.g in our pants whenever we think about taking the damn test? In fact, number of medical articles (like: http://www.thestar.com/living/article/274108) have suggested that there is a high possibility that an infected person may live nearly (or longer than) normal life expectancy (so long as proper treatments are followed closely). So is the process of knowing the status still a monster thing really?.....Or we are just being cowards?

    Then here comes another issue! How close can someone get to an infected person who belongs to an opposite sex, and not a relative - acquaintance, just a friend, bestfriend, casual date, or serious relationship? If someone you are interested in informs you that he/she is living with HIV, would you abandon your interests toward that person?

    Would you dare date/marry an infected person?

    I would! Yes I said it! I would date/marry an HIV victim. I'm confident with this because what I went thru last week (waiting for the results) opened up my eyes pretty well. I have come to terms that I will be intimidated with the virus no more. I will no longer bow down to the virus....not anymore! In fact, I will be more scared of cancer and other chronicle diseases than HIV infection.

    Now, please don't get twisted. Just because I wouldn't be scared with the virus anymore, doesn't mean that I wouldn't take necessary measures to protect myself. The reasonable precautions would still rule my World. Precautions should include awareness of the status of the person who is around me for a serious relationship (and vice versa). The difference is, my interests/intentions toward the person would never change, regardless of what the status that person maybe in. If infected, then we would just have to make few important decisions...... including practicing highly safe "maloloso."

    Call me crazy if you want.....
     
  2. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    I Wont Play the Hero Here.Truth is am shit scared about this disease and wont say that I would date an HIV+ person.I have never been in that position and I pray to My God That He May Never Put Me In Such A Position.........
    So Untill Am In That Position I Will Have The Right Answer To That Question.....
     
  3. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    Kevo - it's not about playing the "hero" kinda thing. It's about being open to the whole situation. I never was before, but now I truly am.

    Think about this - dating a person who you don't know his/her status and dating a person who you already know his/her status (in this case HIV+), what is even more scary when it comes to protecting yourself?
     
  4. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu sometimes you are better off knowing nothing kuliko kujua coz its going be very hard.I have had blood checks through out my life and I have never been used to them.Am always shit scared when it comes to HIV testing coz when you least expect it,it wll be there at your door making a real mockery of you while you die slowly in bed not having a shoulder to lean on!
     
  5. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    You're right. And that's why I vowed not to be intimidated with the virus anymore. I just don't wanna go thru the "sick feeling" everytime I visit my Dr. I wanna be 99.99% confident at all the time. how do I do that?....by looking at the virus the same as other viruses/bacteria that cause chronical diseases such as Cancer and Diabetes.

    Let me ask this - if you find out the person you're interested with is infected, are you going to abandoned your feelings toward the person?
     
  6. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    No way!! life is so precious. One mistake is sufficient enough to become Muathirika.
     
  7. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    Life is so precious to every being in this World....including Waathirika.
     
  8. S

    Son of Alaska JF-Expert Member

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    its quite natural,when a ship is sinking,you abandon ship,otherwise you go down with it.
     
  9. Bongolander

    Bongolander JF-Expert Member

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    Jacob Zuma can say it well
     
  10. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    Believing that muathirika is the same as sinking ship is a cold stuck-up belief. What gives you the rights to declare waathirika as people who are waiting to die?

    As it ever click in your mind that your chances of dying sooner (while HIV-) is as equal as the HIV+ one?

    So no, your line doesn't flow accurately....
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...playing a 'Russian Roulette' eh?

    ...Just because 5 chambers are empty, and 'only' the sixth has the bullet, doesnt mean the Gun is safe to point and click it towards my head!

    I wouldnt dare date/marry a KNOWN HIV +ve person, na wala simshauri mtu achukue risk hiyo.
     
  12. Quemu

    Quemu JF-Expert Member

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    Mchongoma,
    kama wewe na mupenzio mkienda kupima halafu mkagundua kuwa yeye ameathirika na wewe huko salama, je huo ndio utakuwa mwisho wa mapenzi yenu?
     
  13. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 13, 2008
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    I would continue being a friend and provide all the support she needs including going on dates.But lets be practical here if am also hiv+ yes but if not hapana about devoloping the relationship into marriage.You have to think about the children you may have that will have to come by artificial insermination and the fact they could still be born hiv+ or their mother dying while they are young.But as i said i will remain a dear friend and provide moral and other support
     
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