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World Cup Rules to dear wife

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by mayenga, Jun 11, 2010.

  1. mayenga

    mayenga JF-Expert Member

    Jun 11, 2010
    Joined: Sep 6, 2009
    Messages: 3,383
    Likes Received: 178
    Trophy Points: 160
    [FONT=&quot]Dear Wife,[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]Below mentioned are some of the rules and regulations you MUST follow[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]during the WORLD CUP[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]not receiving any attention.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]will lose it (your eye).[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]distracting me.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out off your mind if[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone,[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot](excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]good game that I missed during the day.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]worry, they'll win next time"". If you say these things, you will only[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]encouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]if the half time scores are pleasing me. In addition, please note I am[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]excuse too "spend time together".[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, Many[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]a) I will not go,[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]b) I will not go, and[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]c) I will not go.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]watch a game, we will be there in a flash.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Rule #2 of this list".[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]before and after this comes the Champions League,, Premier League,[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FAA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police[/FONT]