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Wivu Katika Mapenzi unaleta Maana?..

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by arnolds, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. arnolds

    arnolds Senior Member

    #1
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Amani kwenu wadau, katika pitapita zangu nmekutana na hii kitu nkaona ni vyema nikashirikiana nanyi kuchanganua suala hili!..

    Siku zote hatutaacha kuzungumza juu ya mapenzi kwani ni ukweli usiopingika kwamba mapenzi ndio maisha yetu. Tunafanya kazi usiku na mchana, tunahangaika huku na huko, lakini mwisho wa siku tunafikiria jinsi gani tutapata kuboresha na kufurahia maisha na wapenzi wetu. Tunafikiria pia ni jinsi gani tunaweza tukapata utulivu na amani katika maisha ya kimapenzi na wapenzi wetu, waume zetu au wake zetu katika siku zote za maisha yetu.

    ..having said that, embu tubadilishane uzoefu juu ya suala zima la wivu katika mapenzi. Mtakubaliana nami kuwa suala la kuwa na wivu kwa mpenzi wako ni jambo lisilokwepeka hasa kwa sababu kubwa ya kuaminika kwake kwamba kuwa na wivu ni moja ya kigezo cha kuonesha ni jinsi gani unampenda mpenzio na kwamba hauko tayari kwa namna yoyote ile kushea na mwingine ndio maana wanawake wengi hawataki kusikia suala la ukewenza kabisaa! Hata kama jambo hilo limepewa baraka zote na dini au tamaduni zao.

    Lakini kubwa katika wivu ni ile kutokuwa tayari kuona tunasalitiwa na wapenzi na hasa kwa wale tunaowapenda ukweli toka moyoni mwetu na zaidi ukute ndo tumeshawagharamikia kiasi cha kutosha na kujitoa kwao kwa kila kitu!
    Umeshawahi kusikia kauli kama “Jamani mke (au mume) anauma! Au kauli kama mke wa mtu sumu” na hugeuka sumu kweli hasa pale “unapobambwa” na mali za wenyewe, kufanyiwa “kitu mbaya” inakuwa sio jambo la ajabu sana.
    Kiuhalisia, Mapenzi bwana ni “full uchoyo, ni full kujipendelea! Mpenzi wanaume kwa mfano, anaweza kufikiria kwamba ni yeye tu ndiye anayestahili na anayeweza kumfanya mpenzi wake acheke na kufurahi. Na kama akitokea mwanaume mwingine akapata nafasi ya kumfurahisha mpenzi huyo hata katika stori za kawaida tu, unaweza ukasikia akisema, “Hivi wewe mna nini na huyo jamaa, mbona unamchekea chekea hivyo, au…!” Hiyo ndiyo choyo ya penzi, na kikubwa kinachofanyika hapo ni ile tu kujaribu kulinda maslahi binafsi.
    Pamoja na ukweli kwamba tabia ya wivu inapozidi hugeuka kuwa kero, lakini kabla hatujafika huko hebu tuangalie nafasi ya wivu katika mapenzi yetu. Yaani swali ni kwamba,

    je! Wivu katika mapenzi unaleta maana?
    Nionavyo mimi wivu ukitumika vizuri unaleta maana na una nafasi muhimu sana katika mapenzi kwa sababu zifuatazo:

    Huonesha kujali
    Sote tunaamini pasipo na wivu hata chembe, hapana mapenzi ya kweli. Kumuonesha wivu mpenzi wako ni kumjulisha ni kiasi gani unamjali na kumpenda na kwamba yeye ni mtu maalum sana kwako.
    Jamani, mahali penye mapenzi yasiyo na wivu hata kidogo, panatia shaka! Na mara nyingi majibu yake ni kutokuwa “sirias” katika uhusiano huo au huenda kuna kupitisha muda tu na kwamba labda hakuna “future” na mpenzi huyo au ni dalili ya kuchuja kwa penzi.

    Kuthamini uhusiano
    “Sio kama sikuamini dear, bali wivu wangu kwako ni katika kuuthamini uhusiano wetu, mimi na wewe ni umoja wenye thamani kubwa, tusiruhusu kuuchezea nje yetu!”, Huu ni mfano wa ujumbe unaoonesha maana na nafasi ya wivu katika mahusiano ya kimapenzi.

    Kukumbushana
    Kauli au matendo yanayoashiria kumuonesha wivu mpenzio yanasaidia kwa kiasi kikubwa kumfanya mwenzi wako “asijisahau” katika jukumu la kulienzi penzi lenu hata akiwa mbali ya upeo wa macho yako.

    Kujijengea heshima
    Kwa namna moja au nyingine, wivu pia huweza kukujengea heshima. Kwa mfano mume mwenye wivu na mkewe hujijengea heshima ya kwamba kweli anamjali na kumpenda mkewe lakini pia anaweka mazingira ya kutosumbuliwa kwa mke wake huyo kumjengea heshima yake kama mke wa mtu.

    Husaidia kubadilisha tabia
    Ukiwa na wivu, unaotokana na mavazi “tatanishi” anayopendelea kuvaa mpenzi wako kwa mfano, huenda ikasaidia kubadili tabia yake.


    “Ni kweli umependeza na umetoka “chicha” ile mbaya mpenzi, lakini mh! Naogopa wanaume wakware watakusumbua honey, unaonaje ukavaa simpo tu?” Kama anakupenda huenda akabadilika kidogo na hivyo “vivazi vyake
    “wadhungu wanasema ‘too much of anything is harmful’. Pamoja na ukweli kwamba wivu ni nguzo mojawapo ya mahusiano, wivu unaweza ukawa sumu na ukavunja mahusiano endapo utazidi kiasi!. Una haki ya kuwa na wivu na mpenzi wako, BUT sio kiviiiile mpaka anakua embarrassed.

    Ni hayo tu wakuu! :A S 465:
     
  2. Poriposha

    Poriposha JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Wangu-Lady JD ft Blue "WIVU unahusika kwenye mapenzi ya kweli" na "CHUKI hudhihirika ikiwemo utapeli" verse 1
    Hilo halina mjadaia ila tu usije ukazidi kama ulivyoeleza
     
  3. chriss brown

    chriss brown JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Wivu ndo kilakitu kwenye mapenzi.ila usivuke mpaka.
     
  4. Elly Andrew

    Elly Andrew JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Mipaka hiyo ya wivu iko wapi,utajuaje umevuka mipaka?mm nafikiri wivu ni wivu tu,mpz wako ataacha ww upunguze wivu akiondokana na mazingra meng tatanishi na hatarish ya uhusiano na mwngne,mf.ungejiskiaje mpz wako anaenda kumtembelea rafk yk wa jinsia tofaut angal rafk yake huyo anaish alone kwake?au mpz wako amsifie kwa kumzmikia m2 fulan kwamba da yule nampenda sana ni btful/handsom?au mpz wako awe anamjal sana rafk yako wa jinsia moja na ww na hata wakat mwngne anaumia sna juu yake na unapomtahadharsha hakubal na anaamua kukuwekea mipaka kwamba msiwe mnaambatana sna ili mpunguze quarel nakudai kuwa humuamin,ungefanyaje?
     
  5. arabianfalcon

    arabianfalcon JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 20, 2011
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    wivu kwenye mapenzi ni sawa lakini ukizidi unakua kero,manake hata chai ikizidi sukari hainywiki...
     
  6. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Kajisemea Lawino, wivu unakupata bila kujua.
     
  7. vaikojoel

    vaikojoel JF-Expert Member

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    Nov 20, 2011
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    napita tu...
     
  8. arnolds

    arnolds Senior Member

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    upo 100% right Elly, but tukiangalia upande wa pili mazingira hatarishi / tatanishi ni sehemu ya maisha yetu na hayaepukiki!.. relationshp ya kweli ita-prevail hata kama mazingira yanabana!..ni haki yako ya msingi kuwa na wivu endapo utaona mpenzi wako yupo attracted na mtu mwingine. kitendo cha wewe kujisikia vibaya mpenz wako anapomjali zaidi mtu mwingine (a k a WIVU) ni sawa kabisa, the question is, "what are you going to do about it?"..hapo ndo suala la mipaka linapokuja!..ni muhimu kumtahadharisha na kumuonyesha kwamba hauvutiwi na jambo hilo kwani linahatarisha uhusiano wenu!, kama kweli anajali uhusiano wenu lazima atakusikiliza!.. lakini ukienda as far as kutumia nguvu au kuleta vurugu hapo utakua umevuka mipaka!..
     
  9. Okuberwa

    Okuberwa Member

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    Nov 20, 2011
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    Asante mkuu; ni kweli unenayo.
    Siku nyingine fanya summary, thread ndefu ina boa!
     
  10. Jay One

    Jay One JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 20, 2011
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    Kama wapenzi hawana wivuuu tena mkubwa kati yaoooo hawapendaniiii, wivu = mapenzi, ndio maana wapendanao huulizana kila kitu, uko wapi? Na nani? Mbona umechelewa leo baba watoto? hii nguo ni nzuri ila unatamanisha saaana badili mpenzi tunaenda kwa watu hii vaa home tu, nani anakupigiaaaaa cmm? Mbona kuba sms ya nani? Muulizane kila kitu na wivu juuu ndio mapenzi, yaap...
     
  11. Entrepreneur

    Entrepreneur JF-Expert Member

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    [FONT=&amp]Everyone gets jealous at some point or another.. It's human nature.. Everyone will be jealous at some point in a relationship but no, it isn't healthy, it can ruin relationships and definately causes un-needed and un-necessary conflict..

    Emilinating jealousy is very hard. It often happens when something is great, going well, and it's through fear of losing it. You have to try and take some steps to get over your jealousy, for your partner AND FOR YOU..

    it's important to do this, so you are happy within the relationship, but before this can happen, you need to be happy within yourself (you can't do this while being jealous often)

    The most important, the biggest, the hardest step in overcoming jealousy is.. (wait for it..) recognising, realising, admitting that you have a problem, that it is a problem.. And for those of you reading this, it seems you've done that.. Well done. Honestly, that is very hard to do, and you've realised the importance it has on your relationship (or all your relationships in general) and you want to work at it..

    You need to accept that whatever you do, whatever you think, whether you're scared of him/her cheating or not - the more you question this, the more likely it is to happen. You see, jealousy only causes problems within a relationship, and that's where cheating is most likely to occur.

    [/FONT][FONT=&amp]A lot of people are jealous because they are insecure about themselves.. They think 'but there is so much better than me out there, some one prettier, someone funnier'. You need to stop this! All of you! The person is with you because they want to be with you, not anyone else..[/FONT]
     
  12. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Kweli aisee, wivu uwepo ila usizidi.
     
  13. rushanju

    rushanju JF-Expert Member

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    wivu kidogoni upi na uliozidi ni upi?
     
  14. Kbd

    Kbd JF-Expert Member

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    Naunga mkono hoja, wivu uwepo ila usizidi. Ila wakati mwingine unaweza kuwa kwenye mahusiano na mhusika asikupe sababu kabisa ya kumuonea wivu. Yaani anapatikana muda wote unaomuhitaji, yuko huru na simu yake, hana mawenge mkiwa wote na hajawahi kukupa sababu yoyote yakumshuku. Kwa kifupi mnaaminiana sana.
     
  15. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    Mie napenda wivu mwingi
    kama debe 3 tu.

    Wivu muhimu, kama wataka fridomu baki singo albam huziwezi.
     
  16. Kbd

    Kbd JF-Expert Member

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    Wacha visa Kongosho huo ni mwingi sana utashindwa kuubeba peke yako.
     
  17. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    mie napenda wivu mwingi bwana
    una raha yake
    hasa kama unajiamini ni mwaminifu

    unamwacha anakaba hadi refa na washangiliaji

     
  18. Kbd

    Kbd JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahahahahaaaaaaaa! Ni kweli jamaa atahangaika sana, ila kwa upande mwingine inakera. Maana utatakiwa kujibu maswali yanayokera na wakati mwingine kukuondolea utulivu. Miswali mingine inakera bana.
     
  19. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Jan 21, 2012
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    Wivu unanogesha mapenzi, ila usizidishwe tu.
     
  20. Elijah

    Elijah JF-Expert Member

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    Wanajamvi,kinachokufanya uone/usikie wivu au hasira pale unabobaini mpenzi wako anagegedwa au anagegedana na mtu mwingine ni nini hasa???je unahisi anampa zile raha unazopataga wewe,au jamaa anamsulubu kwelikweli,au anasulubu kwelikweli,??ni nin hasa???
     
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