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Wife amanichosha nataka kumtema lakini gharama !!-sina raha ya ndoa

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by FADHILIEJ, May 19, 2011.

  1. FADHILIEJ

    FADHILIEJ Senior Member

    #1
    May 19, 2011
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    Wadau suala hili ni very serious na kama kuna mtaalamu wa masuala ya kijamii niko tayari kumuona ofisini anisaidie kuwa free.

    Wadau nilifiwa na mke miaka kadhaa iliyopita,akaniachia watoto wawili mmoja wakike na wa kiume.baada ya 2 yrs nikakutana na huyu wife niliyenae sasa hivi akiwa na mtoto mmoja wa kike,na baada ya mda tukapata mtoto wa kiume.
    kwa ufahamu wangu FINYU niliamini tukioana na huyu mama tunaweza kucreate new happy,lovely and prosperous family,kwa kuzingatia mazingira yetu,

    tulipeana na mwenzangu majukumu yafuatayo.
    1.ahakikishe watoto alionikuta nao anakaa nao vizuri kiasi kwamba hawataweza kutofautisha kati yake na mama yao.
    2.Mimi nihakikishe mtoto niliyemkuta nae ananifurahia kama baba na kamwe hajuti kukutana na mimi.

    Mungu alinisaidia sana kumteka mtoto wa wife kiasi kwamba hata mtu akimuambia mimi si babake mzazi anaanza kulia,KWA UPANDE WA MWENZANGU ALIKUJA KUNISALITI 100% kiasi kwamba hadi vifaa vya ndani anavigawanya,hiki cha watoto wake,hiki cha watoto wangu,KILA KITU KIZURI NINACHONUNUA KWA WATOTO ANACHAGUA VILE BEST ANAWAPA WATOTO WAKE,imefika mahali anampigiza kazi mtoto mkubwa hata zinazozidi umri wake.

    wadau nimemchoka na ninataka kumuacha LAKINI NIKIPIGA HESABU NAONA NAWEZA KUIATHIRI FAMILIA YANGU ZAIDI kwani watoto wote wananipenda ila wale wakwangu wanaishi kwa hofu mbele ya mama yao mgeni,

    IMEFIKIA MAHALI MKIKWARUZANA NA WIFE HASIRA ZINAMALIZIWA KWA WATOTO,NO PEACE AT ALL.

    ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. Y

    Yakuonea JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 19, 2011
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    Kwanza pole sana kwa matatizo, mtazamo wangu ni kuwa huyo sio responsible wife/ mother, hatua ya kuwabagua watoto inabomoa familia na kujenga chuki miongoni mwa watoto, hata kama watoto ni wadogo wakilelewa ktk mazingira hayo itawaadhiri ktk makuzi yao inaweza kuwafanya watoto wakaathirika kisaikolojia, je ukiongea nae labda anatoa maelezo gani juu ya ukatili wa hawa watoto tuanzie hapa...
     
  3. m

    mushi.richard Member

    #3
    May 19, 2011
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    Mzee inategemea wewe ulimpendea kitu gani! Kwani from the beginning ingekuwa busara ku-balance kati ya mapenzi yako na huyo bibie na mustakhabali wa watoto! Inabidi tupunguze kidogo ubinafsi katika mazingira kama haya!
     
  4. Trustme

    Trustme JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 19, 2011
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    Kwanza nianze kwa kukupa pole mkubwa! Hilo ni tatizo kubwa siyo kwako tu, ni pamoja na watoto wako unaowapenda sana. Mie ninavyodhani ni kwamba
    1. Kaa na huyo bi mkubwa wako umweleze wewe unakerwa na kuchukizwa na ubaguzi anaoufanya kwa watoto wenu
    2. Kwa kawaida damu ni nzito kuliko maji, upendeleo lazima uwepo ila unatakiwa usivuke mipaka na kuwa unyanyasaji. Ni kina mama wachache sana ambao wanaweza kubalance upendo wao kwa watoto wake na wamumewe. kwa hiyo usife moyo kaa naye chini umweleze unavyohisi na umweke kwenye kipindi maalum cha maangalizi (probation period) kama amebadilika na umweleze kama ataendeleza ubwenyeye na ubaguzi wake basi ni bora yeye aondoke kuliko kuwatesa watoto wako.
    3. Kama wewe ndio mtoa fedha zoote hapo kwako, basi fanya manunuzi yote wewe na uwape watoto wote bila ya ubaguzi ili huyo mama asiwe na cha kuwapa na kuwabagua hao watoto
    4. Pia jaribu kuongea na watoto wako wanaonyanyasika ujue mawazo yao kuhusu huyo mama kambo! na uyafanyie kazi kwa kina mawazo yao
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #5
    May 19, 2011
    Joined: Jul 24, 2008
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    Kaka yaani kati ya mambo ambayo huwa yanaiuma ni hili la kunyanyasa watoto wa mwanamke mwenzangu. Huyu mama hata sijui nikwambieje, yaani sijui umfanyeje but labda nikuulize ulishawahi kumkanya juu ya tabia yake hiyo?? Kama bado kaa naye na uongee naye taratibu juu ya madhara anayoyasababisha kwa watoto na familia yenu kwa ujumla. Na pia umweleze hawezijua na wala yeye siyo MUNGU iko siku atajikuta watoto anaowanyanyasa ndio wanaokuja kuwa msaada mkubwa sana kwake huko mbeleni. Na pia Marehemu huko aliko anaona kila kitu hapendi.

    Kama ulishamkanya hasikii, hebu mrudishe kwao kidogo akafunzwe adabu au namna gani vipi wapeleke hao watoto wanaonyanyaswa (na wa kwake kama umri unaruhusu) boarding.
     
  6. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 19, 2011
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    Sijui kwa nini mama wa kambo huwa inakuwa tatizo kukaa na watoto waliowakuta. Huu ni mtihani wa pili kwako, baada ya kufiwa na mkeo, sasa hilo ni jingine.
    Mkuu hakuna njia nyingine unayofikiria jinsi ya kutatua tatizo lako zaidi ya kuachana? Maana hapo unatengeneza matrix ya watoto wa kambo wengi mno mkuu.
    Huyo mama anaweza badilika, nina experience ya mtu wa jirani sana. Mama yao wa kambo aliwatesa sana lakini baada ya muda alibadilika. Na ujue maisha yanaenda.
    Ushauri wangu mkuu, badala ya kufikiria kuachana jaribu kuwahamisha wanao hapo nyumbani kwa muda. Familia zetu za Kiafrika unaweza wapeleka kwa bibi, shangazi, rafiki wa karibu na ukawatunza huko vizuri kabisa.
    Wakati huohuo hatuna guarantee mtu atakufa lini, andika wosia kwa vile vitu vya muhimu ili wanao wasijetolewa kapa Mungu akikuita ghafla. Na wosia huo uandike kwa mujibu wa sheria (nenda RITA watakusaidia).
     
  7. Mu-sir

    Mu-sir JF-Expert Member

    #7
    May 19, 2011
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    Hakuna kinachoshindikana kama mtaongea kwa upole na utaratibu mkuu. Mkumbushe ahadi zenu na muoneshe mahali alipojikwaa. Kumuacha sio dawa kabisa mkuu ongeeni tena kwa upole mtaelewana tu.
     
  8. Sigma

    Sigma JF-Expert Member

    #8
    May 19, 2011
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    Ebwana hebu mpige BAN ka miezi kadhaa hata mwaka, arudi alikotoka, atatafakari., kama mwelewa atajirekebisha,
    Vinginevyo mpe BAN la maisha. Kumbuka watoto wako wanajuta kila sekunde wanaponyanyaswa na kumkumbuka mama yao marehem.
     
  9. SHAROBALO

    SHAROBALO JF-Expert Member

    #9
    May 19, 2011
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    Kama watoto Wakubwa na wanasoma wapeleke Boarding skul, huyo mama huwezi mlazimisha awe na upendo unaotaka wewe hata ajitahidi vipi hawezi kuwa kama Biological mother.

    ikifikia point ya kuchagua between watoto wake au ambao si wake lazima atachagua wake hata

    wewe ungekuwa yeye ungefanya hivyo. mfano kazi,vitu vizuri etc lazima afanye choice kwa wanawe ni NATURAL.(Binadamu sote tupo hivyo tukifika kwenyepoint ya ku choose lazima tujifanyie feva) japo tutaficha kuonekana tupo equall

    CHAKUFANYA NI:

    Jaribu kuwaweka watoto mbali na nyumbani kishule au wakaishi na Bibi zao ndugu etc huko watapendwa sababu ni damu moja na pili unapeleka matumizi na kupunguza makali ya maisha,

    thats the only solution.

    pole sana.
     
  10. Sigma

    Sigma JF-Expert Member

    #10
    May 19, 2011
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    I second the idea.
     
  11. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #11
    May 19, 2011
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    Kwa sisi tuliolelewa na Mama wa Kambo - ni vigumu kupona makovu ya Moyo tuliyoyapata!

    Nawapa pole watoto wako wa Mke wa Kwanza lakini pia ni uliwahi sana kuoa baada ya kupotelewa na Mke..

    Ushauri wangu, jaribu kumkalisha chini na kumkumbusha KIAPO mlichopeana na muulize kwanini anakiuka? Vinginevyo hao watoto wawili wanaweza kuishi kukulaumu wewe milele!
     
  12. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 19, 2011
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    dah pole kaka.
    watume watu wazma wamweleze makosa yake


    nenda rita kuandika wosia km ambavyo mdau kakuelekeza apo juu
     
  13. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #13
    May 19, 2011
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    Mkuu ushauri wako utanisaidia sana huko mbeleni:A S thumbs_up::A S thumbs_up::A S thumbs_up:. Ubarikiwe
     
  14. Watu

    Watu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    May 19, 2011
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    mpotezeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
     
  15. s

    sawabho JF-Expert Member

    #15
    May 19, 2011
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    Mkalishe chini na kumkumbusha maagano yenu, halafu jipe muda wa kuangalia mwenendo wake, ikishindikana shirikisha ndugu/rafiki /wazee/wazazi wa karibu, ikishindikana rudisha kwa kwa muda utakafahamu mwenyewe, ikishindikana. Vunja amri ya kanisa kama wewe ni Mkristu au toa talaka tatu kama wewe ni mwenzangu.
     
  16. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #16
    May 19, 2011
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    Pole sana Mkuu. Inasikitisha sana kusema kweli ukitilia maani kwamba wewe kama Baba wa kambo (nalichukia sana hili neno "Baba/Mama wa Kambo" kwa sababu tayari lina negative connotation) umeweza kumpenda mtoto wake na hadi kujiona kama wewe ni Baba yake mzazi lakini yeye ameshindwa kufuata mfano wako na kuwapenda wanao kwa kiasi kile kile ili muishi katika ndoa iliyojaa upendo. Kama walivyoshauri wengine sidhani kama kuachana na suluhisho la hili bali kuongeza matatizo kwako na kwa watoto wenu. Jaribu tena kuongea naye na kumueleza jinsi unavyoumia kwa yeye kuwabagua wanao na kama bado hakuna mafanikio basi washirikishe ndugu wa karibu hasa wazazi kama bado wako hai ili wajaribu kuwasaidia kutatua tatizo hili linalokukabili. Pole sana Mkuu.
     
  17. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #17
    May 19, 2011
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    Unataka kumuacha au na wewe scenario inafanana na brother hapo juu?
     
  18. k

    kachumbari Senior Member

    #18
    May 19, 2011
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    Pole Jombaa!

    Chukua wako wale wawili,kaanze nao maisha mapya huyo wa mkeo muache nae mtapanga namna ya kumlea.

     
  19. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

    #19
    May 19, 2011
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    Hhahaha!!! MESTOD hata kumpata bado sijampata lakini si mtu unajifunza na kupata kufahamu vitu mbali mbali
     
  20. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 19, 2011
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    Dah, kama ndo hivyo umefika mbali sana, usiombe na usifikiri kama hilo litakukuta! Labda la wosia.
     
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