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Why women should ask men out much more often

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BAK, Jun 19, 2011.

  1. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 19, 2011
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    [TD="class: createdate"]Saturday, 18 June 2011 09:35 [/TD]
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    Women are always complaining about not being able to find a good man, or only being approached by jerks. I think it’s high time we flip the script and do the approaching and asking out. Maybe dating would be easier if women were more aggressive in approaching men. I mean every woman knows what she wants in a man so why not go after it? Women are more picky therefore it just makes more sense for them to do the selecting.

    All the time, I hear women say, “I can’t approach men, I am afraid I might get rejected,” or “men really do like the chase”. Come on ladies! My take is this: you don’t wait on ‘the perfect employer’ to call you out of the blue and offer you your dream job. You don’t expect the ‘perfect outfit’ to choose you. You might randomly meet people but you select your friends and choose who to ditch and who to date. Why should you be passive when it comes to finding a guy?

    Honestly, I don’t know why I have been relying on men to ask me out on dates. Why I sift through a losers list when I have a choice?
    In my view, if you are a woman being approached by men who don’t meet your standards, it would be more effective to take the initiative. After all, nothing ventured nothing gained. That is exactly how I landed my dream job.
    I would advise single ladies to take the same approach in dating. In the real world, nobody sits back waiting on someone to offer them a job, a place to live or clothes to wear so why do women sit back always waiting for men to approach them?

    I have never actually approached a man. I’ve never had the courage. I was at the airport the other day and I saw this good looking guy who made my heart skip a beat. I sat there hoping he would say hi and we would hit it off but he never did. Eye contact was as far as we went because he seemed to be a shy man. When it was time to leave, I regretted not having the courage to walk up to the guy and give him my number because who knows what would have happened next?

    But the next time I see a guy I like, I will approach him. My friends balk at the idea because they are too afraid of rejection but I think it’s worth giving a try. Even if I approach a guy and he doesn’t respond appropriately, I will have made an effort to meet a man I found attractive

    Most of us are stuck in the traditional roles we were socialised into. Many women out there wait for dude to make that move claiming it’s ‘unladylike’ to approach a man. Worse still, some men don’t know how to respond to an assertive woman and might brand her cheap or too aggressive.

    Being fearful of rejection is not cute. Sitting back and doing the rejecting doesn’t help either. I think it makes you more rounded and a better judge of character when you test your instincts and do the approaching instead.

    And not all men think assertive women are freaks. Many of them are actually flattered when a woman approaches them. I am not saying women should start hollering at every dude that catches their eye, I am just encouraging you to take a little initiative and hopefully cut down on bad dating incidences and encounters.

    I tell my friends all the time, “You can’t wait for the guy to approach you. He may think you are out of his league. He may be apprehensive to approach you while you are with your friends. He may not have had the opportunity to notice you. Closed mouths don’t get fed.” Ladies, if you see someone you find attractive, by all means approach. It might throw men off but it also makes their day, after all nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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  2. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 19, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
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    nafikiri pia itatusaidia kuchagua mwanaume ambaye ulikuwa unamwota tangu uko msichana mdogo,na itakupa nafasi ya kumsoma kabla hujamuomba out, instead ya kusubiri kuambiwa anakuja yeyote hata yule asiyekidhi mahitaji yangu
     
  3. Revolutionary

    Revolutionary JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 19, 2011
    Joined: Jan 7, 2011
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    Saafi saana, mi my heaven sent alinitongoza, well not that directly but she really did play the party, kwanza alikua anaonekana ni sosta duu mnoo kiasi kwamba washkaji wakawa wanamwogopa. Na ni kwamba mi nilikuwa sina mpango nae but yeye ndiye alikuwa interested na mimi na akanifanya niwe interested kumzidi yeye! Aliniweka karibu nikashawishika nikamtongoza na akaawa ananipangia terms vilevile, I was impressed by her ovewhelming confidence, but the BOTTOMLINE she was WORTH IT.
    Cause ambao hawakuwa worth it niliwaambia bila kuwaficha! I might have sounded very rude to them!
     
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