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Why Men Sometimes Do Not Call You After Sex

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by M'Jr, Aug 29, 2012.

  1. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Does this sound familiar? He shagged you, took your phone number and now he does not call. Has it ever happened to you that you slept with someone after his persistent begging for sex ,you gave in and afterwards gave him your phone number, which he subsequently did not use, of course. A woman may very well ask herself why he took the number if does not use it? But, dear ladies, the reason why he did not call you, may be so many.

    Let me try to answer your question as to the reasons why and you make sure that nothing similar happens to you again.

    1. YOU DID NOT HIT OFF: Although the Sex seemed like a total disaster, he expressed his enthusiasm over the whole thing. There are men who think that it is better to lie and hide their lack of enthusiasm and then promise that you should repeat the phenomenal experience and subsequently never call again.

    Such men are cowards and you should not worry over them. They obviously do not know that intercourse where two people hit it off the very first night is a real rarity and that every subsequent attempt is better.

    2. YOU WERE ONLY A TROPHY: For many men it is still very important that they are able to brag to their male friends about the number of women they slept with. Sadly this has been and will always be the case. If you do not receive a phone call from him, check with your friends if any of them happens to know him. You will soon find out whether he is the sort of man to whom a woman represents only a number with which he can brag around.

    3. PROBLEMS WITH HIS PHONE: Yes, you may not believe it, but it can happen. He may have lost it, he may have forgotten it on the roof of the car and only remembered it when he saw other cars on the highway driving over his previous Nokia with your phone number in it. Maybe such stories seem unreal to you, but believe me I know of quite a few occasions where they really took place. So before you categorize him under a coward, you should ask him if he has ever had a similar experience before you give him your phone number. If he has had it, I highly recommend that you write your number on a piece of paper as backup and hope that he is not such a clumsy person that he would lose two things at the same time.

    4. HE ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE: These are our favorites, right? Of course, another possibility is that the guy has a perfectly nice girlfriend or a wife waiting for him at home to come back into her arms, while he fancies a bit of romance with someone else. You may expect to hear from such a man again but only when he fancies his bit on the side.

    But you should be clear right from the beginning that he is only using you for sex, so think carefully if that is really what you want. You can avoid this before you get involved with him if you take a look at his hand and you notice that there is maybe a trace of a wedding ring on it. Another good way of finding out is driving in his car. You will quickly realize if he is already spoken for because there will surely be a present from his sweetheart or at least a CD, which could only belong to a woman. Also another way is if he takes you to his place and you notice stuff belonging to a woman.
     
  2. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #2
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    In most cases mwanaume kulala na mwanamke mwingine (yeye kuwa in a relationship ni moja ya weak reasons ya kuto lala na mwanamke mwingine kwa walo wengi). Mie naona in most cases it has to do na tendo lenyewe lilikuwaje. Kama mmefanya SEX na ni mind and body blowing sex, simu yake ikiharibika atachukua tu ya rafikiye akutafute. Kama ana mtu wake atajitahidi kupanga ratiba zisigongane kabisa (yaani rules zote za kitabuni za players zitawekwa hapo).

    Kama alilala na wewe akakuchukulia tu ni trophy na akakuta sex ya kawaida basi ujue hawezi kutafuta tena... But believe me you kama the sex is extra wonderful than normal, he will be back for more... Atleast hivo ndio naamini.

    M'Jr habari ya siku?
     
  3. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    Napenda michango yako mingi sana, na ninakuheshimu sana kwenye hiyo kitu niliyobold, maana tofauti na wengi wetu na uchangiaji wetu tunachanganya maoni yetu na facts. Yaani ninachoamini mimi Kaunga basi nalazimisha iwe hivyo!

    Kudos my dearest, glad you are back!
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    It was just not all that!!!
     
  5. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    Dada AshaDii nzuri sana ingawa ulipotea kiasi,

    Yes nakubaliana na wewe kwenye hili and nikawa nawaza kama hakuna moja ya thread zako yenye link na how sex can make it or break it. Hujawahi kuweka kweli? Kama ipo ingekuwa vizuri tungei link
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  6. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

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    Lizzy nawe karibu maana ulipotea kha!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  7. B

    Bukyanagandi JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Mimi kitu ambacho unishangaza kupindukia kutoka kwenu ni hizi unfortunate statements kama hizi: "Sleeping with someone after his persistent begging for sex, you gave in!! repeate GAVE IN!!" hii ina maana gani hasa? Yaani mtu yeyote ukikutana naye barabarani akakuganda kwa kuhuza maneno au kukupigia magoti au akajifanya kulia - hilo tu basi unahamuwa ku-GIVE IN, is this normal!!

    Mtu ambaye huna feelings juu yake utamkubalia vipi!!! Au wenzetu mko-wired tofauti kabisa na SISI??? Tupe ufafanuzi.
     
  8. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Dah mkuu hayo maneno mazito sana ngoja wajibu wenyewe
     
  9. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #9
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    Kwa sasa nipo kaka...

    Sijawahi weka thread yenye topic hio ila alternatively labda nikupe link ambayo yahusiana na mahsiano. Kama hujawahi iona maybe waweza benefit... http://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano-mapenzi-urafiki/171628-do-you-feel-loved.html?highlight=
     
  10. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #10
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    That is sweet of you dear... I am humbled. Daima nipo open to discussions... Napenda sana kupata angles tofauti na yangu in such matters sababu inanipa nafasi ya kutafakari kama ambalo najua na kushikilia ni the absolute right or not. Haiwezekani kuwa kila ambacho kila mmoja ajua ndio kweli... Haya mambo ni kujuzana na kuongeza ujuzi tokana na mijadala.

    Thanks for the acknowledgement... Infact it feels really good to be back.
     
  11. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

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  12. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Mie naamini hadi watu mkaanza kubembelezana kufanya mapenzi ina maana mpo mazingira ambayo yanatoa nafasi na uwezekano wa kufanya mapenzi na kamba hayo mahusiano ni more than urafiki wa kawaida. In the sense kuwa there is some chemistry between/among you.

    Bahati mbaya sana mara nyingi wanawake wengi tumejenga tabia ya kujifanya hatutaki sex hata kama tunataka… Yaani unaona bora ubembelezwe na ukikubali kirahisi utaonekana ni mrahisi (hii kasumba ya ajubu sana inakuwa kama ulipo kubali hukujua kuwa mta sex); Kwa upande mwingine sio ajabu kubembelezwa hadi you "give in".

    Hamu ya ngono ya mwanaume na mwanamke tofauti sana. Mwanaume mara nyingi yupo tayari kufanya sex wakati wowote hali kwa wanawake circumstances inabidi ziwe right. Hivo kama unashangaa hilo hata mimi unanishangaza @Bukyanakandi…

    Swala la kusema kuwa tupo wired tofauti... That is a fact. Maumbile ya mwanamke yanaruhusu kuingiliwa hata kama hana hamu ya mapenzi hali mwanaume haiwezekani. Hadi hapo tupo wote au bado ufafanuzi zaidi wahitajika?
     
  13. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #13
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    Imani yangu katika first sex iko hivi;

    Kwa mwanamke uhusiano wa mapenzi huanza pale ambapo mmekubaliana kuwa sasa tuwe pamoja kama wapenzi kabla hata ya kufanya mapenzi.

    Kwa mwanaume akisha lala na wewe ndio anatambua kuwa hapo pana mahusiano ama lah! Naweza nikawa nimekosea ila kwa kiasi kikubwa naamini hivo. Labda wewe unisaidie upande wa wababa/kaka kama nimekosea.
     
  14. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

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    Da AshaDii nimepita pita nimekutana na article moja imenivutia kidogo inaelezea how sex can have an effect kwa mtu na mahusiano kwa jumla

    The question is, does sex change a relationship. The answer is, it can. Sex can be intimate. Sex isn't always intimate, but it can be intimate. Intimacy is a closeness, connection, bond or love shared between two people.

    When you include intimacy with sex, it can help to bond two people, form a stronger or new connection and may even cause you to love a person more.

    Sex can also change the nature of the relationship. Sometimes people want a commitment after they've had sex. Sometimes they require a commitment before they'll even have sex. Sex can mark a point in a relationship, where a commitment is expected.

    Sex does have a biological effect on us. We have a few basic chemicals involved here. Dopamine (high feeling), PEA (Rosy outlook), Endorphins (happy and energetic feeling), lowered cortisol level (meaning reduced stress and pain. Lowering cortisol can also improve your immune system.) Sex can also trigger serotonin, which can make you feel sleepy or just relaxed.

    Sex also tends to have an emotional effect on us. These chemicals can directly effect our emotional state. Our imaginations, memories, and senses can also directly effect our emotional state. Love can also effect our emotional state.

    Sex may also create spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy goes beyond traditional forms of intimacy. It's what some people describe as soul-mate. "I didn't know I was half, until I was whole." We aren't entirely sure what causes this feeling, but from a strictly theological perspective, it could be our souls. Sex may have an unexplainable mystical effect upon us, or it may be a completely explainable biological side-effect. We really aren't sure.

    It's also important to note, that the loss of one's virginity can have a profound impact on them. That can impact the nature of the relationship. For some, it's a right of passage. For others, it's a treasured gift. Most people, have at least some emotional attachment to their viginity. Even people who aren't religious, tend to feel at least something, when that moment in their life occures. That feeling can have an impact on the nature of the relationship.

    [h=3]Source(s):[/h]Some people can compartmentalize sex and they don't feel as though it does effect a relationship. Some people contextualize sex, and they feel as though it does effect a relationship. When you compartmentalize, you seperate sex from everything else. It is in it's own compartment. When you contextualize, you think about sex, in the contexts of something greater, like a relationship. "We had sex, so we're in a relationship. We have a relationship, because we had sex." It's kind of circular logic, but never-the-less, it's a popular notion.

    It's interesting to note, that from a cultural anthropological and sociological perspective, most of the world is not monogamous. They are polygimous. This means that they have sex or even relationships, with more than one person. However, much of Western Civilization is monogamous. In America, we tend to be serial monogymists. This means that we have a series of monogymist relationships, throughout our life. We date one person and sleep with only one person. Then we break-up and begin another monogymous relationship. This model is very popular in other nations too.

    Sex also makes us very vulnerable. You can't get much more vulnerable, then naked. The only thing more vulnerable than naked, is being physically penitrated, or penitrating another person. There is a great deal of vulnerability and trust involved. You trust they will not harm you. You also trust that they will protect you and even share something wonderful with you. Sex is enjoyable. That goes without saying. Because it's enjoyable, we are willing to do things for it, including change. Change is adaptation. Adaptation is evolution. Evolution is a natural process.

    Finally, sex can also change a relationship, if the woman becomes pregnant. Everything changes when a woman becomes pregnant. We can't forget, that the original purpose of sex, wasn't bonding, it was mating. Relationships do change, when actual mating takes place, either on purpose, or by accident.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. M'Jr

    M'Jr JF-Expert Member

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    Labda kabla sijaongelea upande wa wababa niongee generally ninavyofikiria,

    Mi huwa naamini kwamba mahusiano huanza kwa namna tofauti ambapo mara nyingi mwanaume huanza na kutamani kabla ya kufikiria kutengeneza mahusiano ya muda mrefu. Kwahiyo katika hili nakubaliana na wewe kwamba tendo huwa na sehemu kubwa sana ya kumfanya mwanaume either ayafanye mahusiano hayo kuwa ya muda mrefu au ndio yakaishia hapo. Sasa tendo lenyewe lilivyofanyika siku hiyo ya kwanza laweza kuwa na nafasi katika maamuzi yake hayo ila sehemu kubwa itabebwa na tukio zima la siku hiyo pamoja umbo la huyo mwenza wake kwa jumla. Sasa kwa upande wa wanawake nahisi huwa ni tofauti kidogo maana kwao ni kama kutamani huwa kuna nafasi ndogo sana (except kwa wale ambao mapenzi kwao ni kitu kisichokuwa kwenye msamiati wao na wanaingia kwenye mahusiano kwa sababu tofauti na mapenzi) lakini lengo lao kubwa huwa ni mahusiano ya muda mrefu na mara nyingi tendo humkuta akiwa kwenye kiwango kikubwa cha mapenzi tayari wakati mwanaume tendo huwa na nafasi kubwa ya kuinua kiwango chake cha mapenzi.

    Kha nafikiri nimeongea kwa kuchanganya kwa jumla na pia kama mbaba...
     
  16. Swts

    Swts JF-Expert Member

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    Some men but narudia some,ni magumegume kitabia,wanastyle ya 'chapa ilale', haijalishi au heart touchn the sex was, the word enough' is no longer in their dictationaries,so anajijua he belong somewhere,so wanaogopa mo'commitments!
    So atajitaftia sababu wee,hakutafuti but kama ulimfurahisha anakuwa amekuweka akiba, siku ya siku nowonder akajirudi,akutumie tena,.ogopa kabisa!
     
  17. OLESAIDIMU

    OLESAIDIMU JF-Expert Member

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    Well said.....utunduuuu.....usafi.....vionjoooo.....kama ni plus plus hapo kwanza naweka kwa phone halafu na osifini kwenye yellow sticker; phone ikizingua backup ipo ila kama ni kawaida sana tena chini ya mke wa nyumbani mathalani mtu kaoa.......shomboo.....lala kama gogo.......hypothermic....materialistic......bongo lala......aaaargh just to name a few

    Arudi kufanya nini mtoto wa kiume???? Apige ili iweje kwa mfano...........
     
  18. Jodoki Kalimilo

    Jodoki Kalimilo JF-Expert Member

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    Siwasemei wanawake ila nionavyo mimi wanawake wana inborn love akiamua kuingia sehemu ameingia kwa moyo mmoja tofauti na mwanaume ambaye anakuwa anajiuliza pamoja na kwamba wameingia kwenye sex na ndio maana katika hatua za mwanzo za mahusiano mwanamke anaweza akaweka mambo hadharani uhusiano wake kwa rafiki zake tofauti na mwanaume.
     
  19. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Nimekuelewa kabisa M'jr ulicho maanisha, in short umeongezea pale na vile ambavo nimeelezea.. Sex saa ingine ni so challenging. Hata hivo kama you enjoy it wote wawili then maisha huwa mepesi...
     
  20. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #20
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    Olesaidimu how are you broda?!

    Hivi hebu nisaidie kidogo, nje ya usafi, utundu na vionjoo (ambavo naamini kabisa na the wife anakuwa navo); ni kitu gani ambacho hufanya sex uone ni tofauti na yule ambae unaye tayari? Na kama unaye tayari na haupo tayari kumuacha ni kwa nini kama usha onja huyo mtu usimuache uendelee na maisha yako badala ya kuwa dabo major? (Nataka hii from a mans perspective nione kama natambua tofauti ama sawa)
     
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