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Why do men "pull away" sometimes...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by nipeukweli, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. nipeukweli

    nipeukweli JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 3, 2012
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    habari zenu wana MMU...

    bila kupoteza muda, nianze moja kwa moja na lile lililonifanya nianzishe "sredi"

    why do men "pull away" sometimes?

    kwanza what do I mean by "pull away"? kawaida unakuta watu mmeanzisha mahusiano ya kimapenzi, mambo yanakwenda vizuri tu alafu ghafla unaanza kuona mwanaume kama vile "anakupotezea", hakwambii hasa tatizo ni nini, hapigi simu wala kutuma msg kama siku kadhaa zilizopita...yaani kwa ujumla mwanamke anaanza kuona kama mwanaume amemtenga kihisia (I believe that makes sense) na mwanamke huanza kuhisi na kujiuliza ni wapi alipokosea; hiyo ndiyo dhana nzima ya "pulling away"

    baada ya kufahamu hilo, turejee kwenye hoja; ni kwanini hilo linatokea?

    there's something in relationships known as THE LAW OF ELASTICITY. hii ni kwamba mara kadhaa na hasa mwazoni mwa uhusiano, a man will need to pull back a little so that he can be able to assess the relationship. kwa bahati mbaya, wakati huu unawafanya wanawake wengi kupanic, kwa kuhisi they have gone wrong somewhere na kwasababu mwanaume hawezi kueleza vzr kinachoendelea ndani yake, mwanamke anakuwa mkali matokeo yake kumfukuza kabisaa huyo mwanaume.

    mwanaume anajaribu kufikiri kama hiyo relationship inamfaa, kama ana uhakika na uamuzi wake, if at all he feels like a man around you and many other things with concern to the relationship. so during this time, a man honestly kinda needs his tym alone, the only problem is, he cnt put that in crystal clear terms for the fear that u might not understand him...hilo ni moja

    pili (ambalo nalo liko ndani ya the law of elasticity); a man's "feel good" hormone operates differently from a woman's "feel good" hormone. kwa wanaume inajulikana kama Dopamine kwa wanawake ni Oxytosin. Cha msingi cha kuelewa ni kwamba, kwa kadiri kiwango cha Oxytosin kwa mwanamke kinavyopanda ndivyo kiwango cha Dopamine kwa mwanaume anayehusiana naye kinavyoshuka.

    ni vitu gani vinavyopandisha kiwango cha Dopamine?
    - competition (football matches, pooltable or other sport and any other stuff that will get him to compete)
    - taking risks (even driving a car speedy triggers his dopamine)
    - productivity/achieving goals
    -sexual attraction/energy
    - efficiency (when he gets his things done so well hata kwa short cut)
    when his Dopamine is triggered, he feels sooooo great, he feels more masculine

    ni vitu gani vinapandisha kiwango cha Oxytosin?
    - conversation (doesn't matter what you r talking abt)
    - connection
    - contribution n collaboration.

    ...now here is the thing; take an example you 2 r having a very nyc weekend together...a lot of talking, a lot of connection (u know what I mean), as an effect it gets the woman's Oxytosin sky high and the man's Dopamine down. sasa utakuta mwanaume "unknowingly" atahitaji "kukutoroka" kidogo (mfano, atahitaji kwenda kuangalia mechi na washkaji, kama ni sharobaro kijanakijana atataka aonane na wanaume wengine kuplay video games, akafuatilie site labda au kitu kingine chochote kitakachoinua Dopamine yake iliyoteremka). linapotokea hilo unakuta mwanamke anaweza kupanic na kumuuliza "mpenzi kuna tatizo gani? sema tu, kuwa muwazi, kaa tuzungumze n.k"...mwanamke atahitaji kuongea maana naturally kunamfanya ajisikie vzr wakati kwa mwanaume sivyo, kuzidi kufuatiliafuatilia hivyo,kunavuruga sana badala ya kujenga. ukiona hali kama hiyo, tulizana tu mama, wewe siyo tatizo, he's just in need of some Dopamine tym...

    hivyo mwanaume akipata nafasi ya kufanya vitu ambavyo vitainua tena Dopamine yake, itakapoinuka ni dhahiri anarejesha tena majeshi kwako, his one n only. that's how it works according to the pros in this kind of field.

    N.B: Men...just don't go around cheating in the name of "some Dopamine tym"...lol!

    wadau, wanaume kwa wanawake wa jamvi hili, try comparing this piece with ur own relationship life au ya watu unaowafahamu na utupe mchango wa uzoefu wako with respect to this...karibuni tupeane maukweli!
     
  2. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    ntarudi kidogo
     
  3. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    thread iko kama swali
    while umetoa jibu haswaa...lol
     
  4. Preta

    Preta JF-Expert Member

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    khaaaaa.....nikajua tunafahamiana.......
    thanks for the useful thread.........
     
  5. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

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    ...... Ok!
     
  6. nipeukweli

    nipeukweli JF-Expert Member

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    ha ha haa...najua thread yenyewe inajiexplain ila wadau wengine wanaweza kuwa na idea tofauti kidogo, nikaweka hivo ili kupata uzoefu wao pia
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #7
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    Utaalam wa hormones wengi hatuna
    so nikikubali au kukaa kimyaa lol
     
  8. nipeukweli

    nipeukweli JF-Expert Member

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    aaah Kongosho..."is there any problem, we can sit down n talk eeh?"... lol
     
  9. nipeukweli

    nipeukweli JF-Expert Member

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    nimekusoma mdau...
     
  10. mpinga shetani

    mpinga shetani JF-Expert Member

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    Meanwhile can we sit and talk Preta ? My Dop...something seems to be back!
     
  11. lara 1

    lara 1 JF-Expert Member

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    Wanaume wanapull away WAKISHATIMIZA HAJA YAO YA KUONJA!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAASS!!!!!!!!!!! KATU MWANAUME HATHUBUTU KUPULL AWAY KABLA HAJAONJESHWA KIDUDE!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!
     
  12. nilkarish

    nilkarish Member

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    umejitahidi kuremba thread kw majina ya hormonez bt hapo kwenye dopamin mmmhh.. kiwango cha dopamine kw she na he ni sawa pia na kazi sawa, dopamine sio sababu y kumfanya mwanaume a pull away
     
  13. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Wewe kweli ni 'nipeukweli'... Appreciated...
     
  14. N

    Neylu JF-Expert Member

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    Mmmh... Somo linaingia halafu lina toka..! Sijui na mie Oxytocin imeshuka?
     
  15. N

    Natalia JF-Expert Member

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    Clinging.dont cling
     
  16. SnowBall

    SnowBall JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa ni kumeza mkuu nipeukweli ..
    Ujue kuna vingine unapata kwa wenzio..
    Sio lazima utie chumvi utaharibu..
    Ila hayo ma'oxtocin' na 'dopamine'..lol umetisha...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  17. Wi-Fi

    Wi-Fi JF-Expert Member

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    Hili desa nimelimeza!
     
  18. nilkarish

    nilkarish Member

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    na ww umeona ennh snowball km tumepigwa changa kimtindo
     
  19. moto2012

    moto2012 JF-Expert Member

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    That's why I have been loving you 4ever, you have been taking care of my Dopamine daima.

     
  20. Davie S.M

    Davie S.M JF-Expert Member

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    Daah Majibu sawia Kabisaa,..Lakini Je Ukimwambia ukweli atakubali ?? Kwamba nakoenda hakuna serious kikao wala nini ...ni networking na Bia nyingi basi.

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9900 using JamiiForums
     
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