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Why did he divorce her?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mzee Mwanakijiji, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #1
    Jul 14, 2008
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
    Messages: 30,384
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    Divorce Letter

    Dear Wife:
    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
    forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I
    have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been
    hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today
    and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and
    didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your
    favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
    You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
    watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
    anymore; you don't wa nt sex or anything that connects us as
    husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't
    love m e anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband
    P. S.
    Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to
    West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    Dear Ex-Husband,
    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's
    true that you and I have been married for seven years,
    although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I
    watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
    whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice
    when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
    came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
    rai sed me not to say anything if you can't say something n
    ice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal,
    you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I
    stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk
    boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag
    was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence
    that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
    morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
    could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million
    dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
    But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a
    reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you
    always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote
    ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
    P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
    Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem
     
  2. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Oct 31, 2007
    Messages: 374
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    Du!! Mshikaji ameula wa chuya!
     
  3. Mwazange

    Mwazange JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Nov 16, 2007
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    Hivi likikutokea kama hili mkuu si unaanza..."Oooh Unajua tena zile zote zilikuwa hasira tu...yaliyotokea na yaishe, tuangalie yajayo...."
     
  4. K

    Kipanga JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Apr 24, 2008
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    Damn, ndio nini?? Pata potea au bendera fata upepo!!!
     
  5. Kevo

    Kevo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Jun 12, 2008
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    The Carla and Carl part blew me away.
     
  6. NaimaOmari

    NaimaOmari JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Sep 25, 2007
    Messages: 807
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    i juuuust love the woman ... i wish and wish every woman could be like her ... then there would be "order" in the house if not in the world
     
  7. emedichi

    emedichi Member

    #7
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Mar 1, 2008
    Messages: 46
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    NImeikubali mkuu,
     
  8. Sikonge

    Sikonge JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Jan 19, 2008
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    Wanaume kama kawaida watasema "..... ohhh unajua ...."
    Fisi Mke na mume walikuwa na njaa. Ili kuganga njaa wakala watoto na mwisho wakasema tucheze mieleka, na atakayeanguka aliwe. Mieleka ikaanza na mara mume akabwagwa chini. Jamaa akaanza " ...... subiri subiri subiri, nimeteleza na halafu nilikuwa sijajiandaa vizuri. Tuanze kikweli kweli sasa..." Mara ya pili mama akawekwa chini na mama akaanza "... subiri subiri subirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......... "
     
  9. MwanaHaki

    MwanaHaki JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 15, 2008
    Joined: Oct 17, 2006
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    Du! Kaula wa chuya!
     
  10. Mzee Mwanakijiji

    Mzee Mwanakijiji Platinum Member

    #10
    Jul 16, 2008
    Joined: Mar 10, 2006
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    somo: next time before you get a divorce make you none of ya'll had won a lottery.. !
     
  11. Sikonge

    Sikonge JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 16, 2008
    Joined: Jan 19, 2008
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    Lakini hata huyu Mke wangu PATRICIA unaweza kukuta hapo zamani kabla sijamfahamu alikuwa PATRICK, hiii hiiii hiii utakuwa umeokoa kwa jina la nani sijui, tuseme ehhhhh Dana Internation AKA Sharon Cohen AKA Yaron Cohen.
    Heri yetu sisi huku Sikonge haya mambo bado hayajaingia. Hata chupi zetu bado tuko kwenye VIP, ikikatika unashangaa iko KIFUANI.
     
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