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Who said english is difficult?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by MaxShimba, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 14, 2009
    Joined: Apr 11, 2008
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    WHO SAID ENGLISH IS DIFFICULT?
    IDI AMINI


    For those of you English is not your first language you might think twice before you say something
    Here is a speech delivered by Idi Amini at a sumptuous luncheon hosted by..............
    Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain.

    "my majesty Mr. Queen sir, horrible ministers and members of parliament, invented guests, ladies under gentlemen. i hereby thank you completely..........


    Mr. queen, sir, and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda who came with me. we have really eaten very much. and we are fed up completely.


    and also very thanks you to keenly open up from all the windows; so that those plenty climates can come into to lunch.

    but before i go back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London i wish to invitation you Mr. queen, to become home Uganda so that we can revenge on you. you will eat a full cow;and also feel up your stomach and walk with difficult because of full stomach completely. even when you want to rest at night i will make sure you sleep on top of me.
    in the upstairs of my mansion completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air".

    "But now i am sorry because i have to tell you that i have made a short call on you only. but next time i shall make a long call on you to last the whole moon completely."thank you very much to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished ladies under gentlemen sir.
    lastly but not list, i ask the band to play our inter national anthem of the republic of Uganda and also the British inter national anthem. "your Majesty sir, i Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms of all the people of Uganda. with these few words i thank you, sir".

    Send to all other persons whom English is not their first language!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  2. f

    froper New Member

    #2
    Aug 15, 2009
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    U're truly comedian maxshimba.
     
  3. Kisoda2

    Kisoda2 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 15, 2009
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    hii ni chibokoo!!!
     
  4. M

    Mdadisi Member

    #4
    Aug 15, 2009
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    Muhimu kaelewa. Lugha mawasiliano tu!!!! hata ukisema "naomba kijiko' huku waonesha kisu utaeleweka na utapewa kisu. Hata wao waingereza huboronga katika kiswahili. Big up Mr Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 15, 2009
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    Kuna mara mbili tatu waziri wa fedha alivyoagizwa kufanya kitu na Idi Amin anamjibu foreign exchange is not available,Amin hili likamkera akasema 'i want this foreign exchange shot and his head brought to me i cant allow people not doing their jobs'.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2009
  6. L

    Lizy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 15, 2009
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    Ni kweli linapokuja suala la lugha, mara nyingine ni mzozo tupu,
    Check out this:

    Mtalii na mtafsiri wake hotelini bongo;

    Mtalii: Do you have vegetables here.
    Mtafsiri: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa.
    Waiter: Vijimeza hatuna.
    Mtafsiri: No sir, they don't have

    Mtalii
    : OK, fine, do you have hot dogs.
    Mtafsiri: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto.
    Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa.
    Mtafsiri: They don't cook here

    Mtalii
    : What type of snacks do you have here.
    Mtafsiri: Aina ngapi ya nyoka mnao hapa,
    Waiter: We bwana we hapa hatupiki aina yeyote ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao.
    Mtafsiri: They don't cook any type of snacks here.

    Mtalii
    : OK, at least give us a cocktail juice.
    Mtafsiri: OK, tupatie hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo.
    Waiter: Hebu tokeni na bangi zenu hapa, tena sasa hivi kabla sijakasirika.
    Mtafsiri: Lets get out of here, I think this man is crazy!

     
  7. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 17, 2009
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    Last edited: Aug 18, 2009
  8. Bluray

    Bluray JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 17, 2009
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    George Bernard Shaw (GBS the only man to have received the Nobel and an Oscar) was a famous Irish writer. He wanted to reform English spelling so that it was more logical. He asked the following question as an example:

    How do we pronounce the word "ghoti"?

    His answer was "fish".

    How can "ghoti" and "fish" sound the same? GBS explained it like this:

    the gh = f as in rouGH
    the o = i as in wOmen
    the ti = sh as in naTIon
    Of course, this was a joke. The word "ghoti" is not even a real word. But it showed the inconsistency of English spelling.

    http://www.englishclub.com/esl-articles/199909.htm
     
  9. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 19, 2009
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    Iglizhi iz not richabo
     
  10. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 28, 2009
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    Haha ahaha ahaa a a a a a
     
  11. MaxShimba

    MaxShimba JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 28, 2009
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    That was good one, lol
     
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