What will you do?

Nimegundua kuwa nimependa kusiko,yaani nimepotea njia na kuingia choo cha kiume. Pamoja na maumivu yote ninayoyapata i am still in love with that guy and i really hate it. Nifanyeje ili niweze kumtoa kabisa katika moyo na akili yangu?
Naomba mawazo yenu tafadhali
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Ndg yangu Daughter, ni wewe pekee ndiye utakayeamua kuendelea kumpenda au kuacha kumpenda huyo unaesema na kufikiri kuwa umekosea kumfanyia maamuzi. Wazo na ushauri wangu kwako: Kama vile ulivyoamua kumpenda basi vivo hivyo utaweza kuamua kumtoa moyoni mwako na kumuona wa kawaida.

Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
 
pole dada hamna kazi ngumu kama kumtoa mtu uliyempenda kwa dhati moyoni mwako inaweza kukuchukua hata miaka kumsahau usifikiri ni jambo jepesi linawezekana kwa usiku mmoja. mi nakushauri mtafute ongea nae hayo uliyoweka hapa muulize shida nini usiassume sana wewe upo msafi na hujamkera,baada ya maongezi yake utaamua nini cha kufanya.
mara nyingi wanaume walivo sio waropokaji kama sisi unaweza ukamkera akaamua kukaa kimya tu
 
daughter said:
nna hakika simo kwenye kundi hilo lakini hata kama nimo,huoni kama kuna sababu ya kunieleza ili nijirekebishe kuliko kunchunia?
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sasa mbona unalalamika inachukua hara siku mbili bila yeye kukupigia simu?
 
(i hate the fact that i love him)
so change the way you love him,either it may work
 
daughter said:
so what do you suggest i should do?
Click to expand...

Daughter,

ON ONE HAND

I don't how long you have been in relationships, but relationships can sometimes be something of a challenge. If you've been dating ma man for awhile and you've fallen into a predictable routine you may start to feel as though you are being taken advantage of. Many women feel this when they realize that their once attentive man, now rarely calls them anymore. This is normal.

Men aren't always easy to figure out. Women always want to stay in close contact with their men. This means that women enjoy hearing from their me via the phone, text messages, etc. Of course, it can be disheartening and disappointing when a man says he'll be in touch and then he isn't. If your man doesn't call when he says he will, there are a few things you can do that will encourage him to become more communicative. None of these are pretence.

The worst possible thing you can do when your man doesn't call when he says he will, is to point it out over and over. If a woman repeatedly points out to a man that he failed to do what he said he will, he'll begin to feel like a failure. Men don't want to be viewed that way by the women they love. If you've mentioned it once, and he still isn't finding the time to call you when he says he will, you need to take on a new approach.

The best thing you can do if your man doesn't call when he says he will is to not call him. This means not calling him at all the day he said he'd call. If you still haven't heard from him, don't call him the next day either. You are going to be tempted to pick up the phone and dial or text to ensure he's okay, but he is.

Once the man in your life realizes that it's been some time since he heard from you, he'll call. The way you greet him when he does call is incredibly important as well. If you start asking him questions about where he's been and why calling you isn't at the forefront of his mind, he's going to think twice before calling you next time. Instead, be friendly and when he tells you he's been busy say that you've got a lot going on as well. You want him to feel that you weren't sitting by the phone waiting for his call, text, even if you were. Never let him know that.

If you don't call, and he's seriously interested in you, he will call if he really loves you. All you need is a little willpower to not call him yourself and some patience. If your boyfriend doesn't call when he says he will, don't be the one to make first contact. You'll be glad you didn't, when he calls wondering why you haven't tracked him down yourself.

You need to always remember that men and women view phone calls, emails and text in very different ways. If you make the mistake of calling too frequently, at the wrong time or before he's ready to hear from you, you can actually turn him off. Women unwittingly ruin their chances of a future with a man because they are too over eager to hear from him. Don't let this happen to you.

You may think that there's no consequence when you pick up the phone to call or text the man in your life, but there is. Men pay close attention to when women call them and they'll make assumptions about you based on that. Learn when the perfect time to call him is so that he'll find you irresistible.

ON THE OTHER HAND

If he doesn't call you as often as he used to do, he probably have lost interest in you. It happens all the time. May be there is another woman he is thinking about. Crush is a crush it takes over your mind is blinds you, you become in your own little world and nothing else much matters (crush and love). Perhaps he has a crush on some woman and living in his own little world?

May be he lost interest and doesn't want to hurt you? Right away you may need to call him and tell him EXACTLY how you feel, ask him: listen why haven't you been calling me? No excuses! Tell me! If you don't think it's going to work tell me right away I don't want to waste my time! Have you been busy? Are you mad at me? Talk to him tell me everything don't hide anything, if he still likes you these kinds of things will only make your relationship develop further and better, and of course healthier.

MY SUGGESTION

Don't panic. If he is not calling, there are always reasons behind it but none that an overactive your imagination of thinking. Unless both of you agree to an open relationship, chances are he is not cheating on you or is trying to find the next woman to be in a relationship with. Remember there was a life before you.

The chances of having a new wonam being the cause of his silence could be minimal. There are many reasons why men don't call their girlfriends, but simply moving on to a new relationship isn't one of them. Put your mind to rest and stop thinking of the worst case scenarios.

Take his number off speed dial and go out and have fun. Enjoy life as you once did. Do you have friends? Go out with your friends. If you don't have friends, there are plenty here at JF.

If he fully expects you to come searching for him, and you don't, he'll immediately wonder what you're thinking. It's also imperative that you don't answer the minute he does call you. Let him be the one who has to leave a voice mail and take a bit to return the call or his text. When you do finally speak with him, don't drill him about where he's been or why he hasn't called. If he apologizes for not being in touch and tells you the age old excuse that he's been busy with work, tell him it's no problem. Briefly explain that you've been swamped too. End the call quickly and tell him you'll talk soon.

Men are players. You need to be a player too.

That is my suggestion.
 
Katika mahusiano huwa tunatendeana mazuri na sa zingine mabaya kwa makusudi au bahati mbaya.
Jipe muda wa kama wiki 2 ukifikiria mabaya yake tu na ukijenga chuki halafu fanya maamuzi ukiwa na hasira. Nina uhakika utapata uamuzi wa kumuacha na sio kumsamehe.
Ila jiulize kama kweli unataka kumuacha maana mapenzi bwana......
 
daughter said:
Hapo kwenye bold hebu dadavua tafadhali
Kuhusu avatar nimeitoa cos the gal is not happy anymore
Click to expand...

Unajua hata njia ya kwenda peponi ina miba mingi ingawa bado ndo njia sahihi,na ukweli utabaki ukweli tuu hata kama ni mchungu.Wenyewe wanasema the overall goal of human life is to be happy,sasa huyu badala ya kukusababishia furaha anakuletea simanzi.Haujatuambia ukiwa nae unajisikiaje,na je mnapokuwa pamoja anaonesha kujali na kupenda.Ulishawahi kuongea nae kuhusu hii tabia na kama ndiyo,respense yake ilikuwaje.Naogopa kusema hakufai bila kuwa na hayo majibu hapo juu.Unajua wanaume wengine tunaudhaifu katika suala zima la mawasiliano,ingawa huyu wa kwako amepitiliza.
 
Pole sana Daughter amini mwenyezi mungu anakupenda na ana makusudi na maisha yako,
Maadamu umeumbwa na kuwekwa duniani yupo aliyeandaliwa kwa ajili yako
 
Tafuta atakaye kuliwaza zaidi ya huyo jamaa!!
avatar16818_2.gif
 
Husninyo said:
Katika mahusiano huwa tunatendeana mazuri na sa zingine mabaya kwa makusudi au bahati mbaya.
Jipe muda wa kama wiki 2 ukifikiria mabaya yake tu na ukijenga chuki halafu fanya maamuzi ukiwa na hasira. Nina uhakika utapata uamuzi wa kumuacha na sio kumsamehe.
Ila jiulize kama kweli unataka kumuacha maana mapenzi bwana......
Click to expand...

Katika movie ya Mtalii,Angelina Jolie anasema binadamu ana pande mbili,the bad and the good side.Anasema inabidi tujifunze kuzikubali zote.Unachotakiwa kufanya ni kuanalaizi risk to benefit ratio,as everybody knows that no huma is perfect.
 
you are falling into the trap of remaining convinced that your whoever is the only person you could ever love. This is unlikely to be true on a planet with six billion people.
 
EMT said:
Daughter,

ON ONE HAND

I don't how long you have been in relationships, but relationships can sometimes be something of a challenge. If you've been dating ma man for awhile and you've fallen into a predictable routine you may start to feel as though you are being taken advantage of. Many women feel this when they realize that their once attentive man, now rarely calls them anymore. This is normal.

Men aren't always easy to figure out. Women always want to stay in close contact with their men. This means that women enjoy hearing from their me via the phone, text messages, etc. Of course, it can be disheartening and disappointing when a man says he'll be in touch and then he isn't. If your man doesn't call when he says he will, there are a few things you can do that will encourage him to become more communicative. None of these are pretence.

The worst possible thing you can do when your man doesn't call when he says he will, is to point it out over and over. If a woman repeatedly points out to a man that he failed to do what he said he will, he'll begin to feel like a failure. Men don't want to be viewed that way by the women they love. If you've mentioned it once, and he still isn't finding the time to call you when he says he will, you need to take on a new approach.

The best thing you can do if your man doesn't call when he says he will is to not call him. This means not calling him at all the day he said he'd call. If you still haven't heard from him, don't call him the next day either. You are going to be tempted to pick up the phone and dial or text to ensure he's okay, but he is.

Once the man in your life realizes that it's been some time since he heard from you, he'll call. The way you greet him when he does call is incredibly important as well. If you start asking him questions about where he's been and why calling you isn't at the forefront of his mind, he's going to think twice before calling you next time. Instead, be friendly and when he tells you he's been busy say that you've got a lot going on as well. You want him to feel that you weren't sitting by the phone waiting for his call, text, even if you were. Never let him know that.

If you don't call, and he's seriously interested in you, he will call if he really loves you. All you need is a little willpower to not call him yourself and some patience. If your boyfriend doesn't call when he says he will, don't be the one to make first contact. You'll be glad you didn't, when he calls wondering why you haven't tracked him down yourself.

You need to always remember that men and women view phone calls, emails and text in very different ways. If you make the mistake of calling too frequently, at the wrong time or before he's ready to hear from you, you can actually turn him off. Women unwittingly ruin their chances of a future with a man because they are too over eager to hear from him. Don't let this happen to you.

You may think that there's no consequence when you pick up the phone to call or text the man in your life, but there is. Men pay close attention to when women call them and they'll make assumptions about you based on that. Learn when the perfect time to call him is so that he'll find you irresistible.

ON THE OTHER HAND

If he doesn't call you as often as he used to do, he probably have lost interest in you. It happens all the time. May be there is another woman he is thinking about. Crush is a crush it takes over your mind is blinds you, you become in your own little world and nothing else much matters (crush and love). Perhaps he has a crush on some woman and living in his own little world?

May be he lost interest and doesn't want to hurt you? Right away you may need to call him and tell him EXACTLY how you feel, ask him: listen why haven't you been calling me? No excuses! Tell me! If you don't think it's going to work tell me right away I don't want to waste my time! Have you been busy? Are you mad at me? Talk to him tell me everything don't hide anything, if he still likes you these kinds of things will only make your relationship develop further and better, and of course healthier.

MY SUGGESTION

Don't panic. If he is not calling, there are always reasons behind it but none that an overactive your imagination of thinking. Unless both of you agree to an open relationship, chances are he is not cheating on you or is trying to find the next woman to be in a relationship with. Remember there was a life before you. The chances of having a new wonam being the cause of his silence could be minimal. There are many reasons why men don't call their girlfriends, but simply moving on to a new relationship isn't one of them. Put your mind to rest and stop thinking of the worst case scenarios.

Take his number off speed dial and go out and have fun. Enjoy life as you once did. Do you have friends? Go out with your friends. If you don't have friends, there are plenty here at JF.

If he fully expects you to come searching for him, and you don't, he'll immediately wonder what you're thinking. It's also imperative that you don't answer the minute he does call you. Let him be the one who has to leave a voice mail and take a bit to return the call or his text. When you do finally speak with him, don't drill him about where he's been or why he hasn't called. If he apologizes for not being in touch and tells you the age old excuse that he's been busy with work, tell him it's no problem. Briefly explain that you've been swamped too. End the call quickly and tell him you'll talk soon.

Men are players. You need to be a player too.

That is my suggestion.
Click to expand...

Asante sana nimejifunza mengi kutoka kwenye hii post
 
Che Kalizozele said:
Unajua hata njia ya kwenda peponi ina miba mingi ingawa bado ndo njia sahihi,na ukweli utabaki ukweli tuu hata kama ni mchungu.Wenyewe wanasema the overall goal of human life is to be happy,sasa huyu badala ya kukusababishia furaha anakuletea simanzi.Haujatuambia ukiwa nae unajisikiaje,na je mnapokuwa pamoja anaonesha kujali na kupenda.Ulishawahi kuongea nae kuhusu hii tabia na kama ndiyo,respense yake ilikuwaje.Naogopa kusema hakufai bila kuwa na hayo majibu hapo juu.Unajua wanaume wengine tunaudhaifu katika suala zima la mawasiliano,ingawa huyu wa kwako amepitiliza.
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Tunapokuwa wote anaonyesha kunijali sana yaani apart from hii tabia mpya aliyoianzisha,i have nothing else to complain about him.
Sijawahi kuongea naye chochote coz hajawahi kuwa hivi before na ndio maana nina mashaka.Mawasiliano yetu hayakuwa na shida kabisa
and apart from seeing each other we would talk on phone for not less than 2 times per day.
 
daughter said:
Nimegundua kuwa nimependa kusiko,yaani nimepotea njia na kuingia choo cha kiume. Pamoja na maumivu yote ninayoyapata i am still in love with that guy and i really hate it. Nifanyeje ili niweze kumtoa kabisa katika moyo na akili yangu?
Naomba mawazo yenu tafadhali
Click to expand...

Hakuna jinsi, mpe chake mapema uwe huru.....:frusty:... Ataijua kweli na hiyo kweli itakuweka huru.. Hongera na mpe pole sana, ndio maisha
 
daughter said:
Nimegundua kuwa nimependa kusiko,yaani nimepotea njia na kuingia choo cha kiume. Pamoja na maumivu yote ninayoyapata i am still in love with that guy and i really hate it. Nifanyeje ili niweze kumtoa kabisa katika moyo na akili yangu?
Naomba mawazo yenu tafadhali
Click to expand...

Duh! Pole sana dada!

naelewa mateso unayoyapata. Kupenda pasipopendeka ni sawa na kujichimbia kaburi kabla hujafa. Mi yameshanitokea na niliumia sana. Lakini muda uliniokoa. Just vumilia, jaribu kumtoa mawazoni. Kadiri muda unavyoenda, taratibu utajikuta unamsahau. Then the sweetest moment inatokea anapokuja yule ambaye mtapendana........ hutamkumbuka hatibreka wako, na atageuka mara moja kuwa CRAP!
 
St. RR said:
Hii sio heart breaking.....ni heart confused....gereji yangu haifanyi ukarabati wa aina hii....labda ajaribu gereji ya mbele.....
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St. RR ungeanza kwa huu ukarabati kwanza coz kama imeanza heart-confussion,heart-breaking yake itakuwa mbaya sana
 
Baba_Enock said:
My daughter!

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted,
it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.”
​

Huo ndiyo ushauri wangu kwa leo!
Click to expand...

Nimeipenda hii Baba_Enock, achague moja
 
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