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What to do...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by 4X4byfar, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Jamani wana JF hamjambo,

    Mimi ninakisa kimoja naomba ushauri weni. Mke na mume wameona wana karibia 3yrs now. Mme amekuwa na matatizo ya hapa na pale kwa mkewe e.g kutomjali kifedha mama hana kazi bado yupo skull anasomea lugha, mme amekuwa na mawasiliaono na wanawake mbali mbali ikiwemo Ex wake, kutojali familia ya mke anapouguliwa, amekuwa akimkebehi mke ambapo hata matumizi ya chakula, kutomtimizia uroda n.k. Kwa kweli huyu mama alijaribu sana kumwelezea mmuwe yote aliokuwa akimtendea hafurahishwi nayo. Mme akawa kama kinyonga mara leo ni mzuri kesho yuko pale pale. Mke akaona imekuwa too much kwake, akatafuta kakazi angalao kakumpa mafuta ya kujipaka kwa Mtasha mmoja ambaye ni single, kwa kweli mtasha akaanza kuvutiwa na huyu mama, ila alimwambia kweli kuwa ana mume na anamheshimu hawezi kufanya anayotaka. Ss siku moja Mme karudi toka job, akakuta mail account ya mkewe wazi, akasoma mails zote zilizomo...akakutana na ya mtasha ambayo ilikuwa ikimpa mtasha sababu za wao kutofanya hicho kitendo. Jamani sijui kutokana na elimu duni ya mme wake kutojua ki english vizuri, basi jamaa akamchukulia kuwa mkwe anamegwa na huyo mtasha. Mke kwa sasa anamimba ya miezi 5, mme amemsusa, no uroda, no interest shown kwa kiumbe kijacho, no touch no what. Mme amekuwa sasa kama anajisukuma tuu kumuhudumia huyo mama. Kwa kweli huyu dada yuko taabani kwa kuumia moyo afanye nini, kaomba msamaha ila mme ameonekana kuwa bado na gumu la moyoni. Ushauri wapendwa.
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
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    wasubiri mtoto azaliwe,wafanye dna test,,,,
    but wanaweza kuachana kwa heri pia,bila ugomvi...
     
  3. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Feb 27, 2010
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    siyajui mambo ya ndoa lkn kitu cha muhimu kwanza ni huyo mtoto aliye tumboni na afya ya mama kwa ujumla!
     
  4. Noname

    Noname JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Feb 8, 2010
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    as long as she hasnt commit any mistake, I dont think she should be worrying...sounds like the problem ipo kwa huyo baba...she should be patience and calm... kama huyo baba hamtaki basi nayeye mama asijiweke chini... asiyekuta basi nawewe usimtake...

    If i am in that woman shoes I will try to talk to him, I would sit with him and let him speak out what is it bothering him... If he dont wanna talk about it or he dont wanna believe me then I will leave him, he is not gonna see my face again.
     
  5. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Nashukuru sana my dear naona tupo chapter moja, maana hata sisi majirani tumeona maana huyu bwana ukimwangalia ni mpole kweli ila kwa undani jinsi shoga alivyonisimulia anamaaudhi sana. Yn yy baada ya kuona zile msg kwenye mail akamsusia uroda na wana lala mzungu wa nne kwa sasa. Shoga aliwahi kumuuliza lakini haelekei kuwa na jibu la maana zaidi ya visababu vya hapa na pale oooh eti cku moja alikunywa pombe sasa unajua shoga ni mjamzito ndo akamwambia akasukutue na mouthwash ili arufu iishe. So tokea hapo ndo akaanza kulala mzungu wa nne. Na kingine shoga ameamua kusingizia pia kuwa anamsikia ananuka harufu mbaya kama ya beberu ili asimguse tena mpaka azae maana ni mwezi sasa toka anze vituko vyake kumsusia uroda. Jamani nyumba hizi!
     
  6. m

    major mkandala Member

    #6
    Mar 23, 2010
    Joined: Mar 6, 2010
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    No comm
    uwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii apawomi!!!!!!!
     
  7. T

    Tall JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Feb 27, 2010
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    Tatizo ni kuwa makosa ya shoga yako bado hajakusimulia na hatakueleza milele.
    Hawezi kukueleza kuwa keshatembea na huyo rafiki yake wa nje.HAPO AKILI KICHWANI MWAKO.
    USHAURI/FUNZO;
    1.Aendelee kumpenda na kumheshimu mumewe,aachane na jamaa wa nje,HAFAI.kama angekuwa anafaa wala mumewe asingejua/kuzifuma sms zake. Mi sms ya nini kwenye simu ya mke wa mtu?unampenda kweli au unataka kumharibia?
    2.Tatizo halimalizwi kwa tatizo.Uvumilivu unatakiwa.
    3.Ukinyimwa unyumba usikasirike/vumilia huenda mwenzio katoka kupima na kakuta ameathirika? Sasa unakasirikia kunyimwa uroda au virusi?
     
  8. M

    Mokoyo JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Mar 2, 2010
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    hapo kwenye blue umenifurahisha sana...come on bby tuanzishe ndoa ya kwetu... i will pm you

    Back to the topic
    Hii hali ni mbaya sana kwa huyu mwanamke hasa kipindi hiki ambacho ni mjamzito kwani inaweza hata kupelekea kuharibika kwa ujauzito wake kama frustration zitazidi. Mshauri kuwa atafute watu wa karibu wa mume wake ambao ana uhakika anawaheshimu halafu aweke hili wazi nina uhakika atapata suluhu na kulea kiumbe kwa raha na kuimarisha ndoa. Oherwise mpe pole sana
     
  9. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Hapo besti umenena, tena nilikuwa sina hili kichwani ngoja nimtumie sms sasa hv nimpe somo hili. Maana jamaa kaanza kukohoakohoa na cha ajabu anashire naye mambo yake mengine kabisa eg business, kazini n.k lakini hapo tuu 6x6 ndo balaa.
     
  10. Pape

    Pape JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Dec 11, 2008
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    he, duniani watu wanateseka sana....
     
  11. A

    Akili Kichwani JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Jan 7, 2010
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    dear cheusimangala, mi mambo ya ndoa ninayajua............ nakubaliana na mama kuangaliwa kwanza afya yake na halikadhalika mtoto anayelelewa huko tumboni........... as a first priority............



    dear noname, huo msimamo wako ni balaa....................

    iam of this opinion, hiyo ndoa bado changa sana.............. hao wapenda wana less than 3 yrs hivyo bado hawajaelewana vizuri.............. wako katika adjustiments na trial and error................ to some it may take even beyond 10 yrs kuelewana vizuri.............. mume kukasirika kuusu email ni kawaida kabisa hakuna ishu hapo......... angefayaje ?? kama anampenda lazima karoho kanauma ........... tena kwa wengine akichanganya na inferiority complex kuwa ni email ya mzungu............. akipiga picha na wazungu walivyo wachafu........... mkewe atasalimika kweli kutoa tigo huko kwa mzungu?............. hofu hiyo si tu ni ya kawaida, aabali pia ni necessary............. ni aina ya ulinzi wa lazima kwa ummpendaye...............

    hao watu wanapendana na ndoa yao ni nzuri na salama kabisa............. mke aendelee kuvumilia.............. mume ajiepushe na kuwakumbuka ma-ex wake............
     
  12. 4X4byfar

    4X4byfar JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 24, 2010
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Nashukuru kwa maoni yako ndugu, Je kwa hiyo avumilie kunyimwa uroda mpaka lini, na je pale mme atakapoonyesha interest na yeye afanye nini maana hii imekaa kimtego sana. Ni kweli shosti anampenda mumewe sana na ndo maana ameweza kukaa naye huyo bwana for all those years, na hapo hapo ningependa kukudokeza kuwa huyu bwana alisha divorce since 2001 akaja kuoa tena 2007 na anawatoto wawili wa kike. Pengine hapo napo utakua na maoni na michango zaidi yakuweza kumkwamua mwenzetu katika hili janga. Na swali lingine aliniuliza leo, je afanyaje ili aweze kuvumilia mda wote huo pasipokupata vishiwishi, maana kutokana na ujauzito wake amekuwa na hamu sana ya kuuingiliwa kimwili. Asante mkulu.
     
  13. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 25, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Cheusi; huyo nduguyo aliolelwa ktk misingi ya kiafrika; kuna washenga kuna ndugu wa heshima wa karibu na mume; kama wao wa2 wameshindwa kuliongela hilo si vibaya kukapatikana mtu wa 3 amabye shogako anmuamini aje awe mdhamini wa mazungumzo yao; 3ysr ni bado mapema nakubaliana na wengi kwa hili na believe me sura ya ndoa zetu nyingi inaanza kutake shape katk kipindi hiki. Hata kama alishawhi kuoa hapo kabla inawezekana hana uzoefu katika kuishi vyema na mwenzi.

    Ajipe moyo na walizungumze hili na kusiwepo vipingamizi kama suaala la alcohol vipi shoga yako hakamtii chupa kidogo? mzee akipiga ulabu nawe unaagiza 2 au tatu mnakuwa wote kwenye mood ni hayo tu!
     
  14. Sydney

    Sydney Senior Member

    #14
    Mar 25, 2010
    Joined: Nov 10, 2009
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    Huyo dada si ana wazazi wake? mi naomba kwanza aende nyumbani kwao, na asubiri hadi azae, maana mimba huwa zina mambo mengi asipoangalia anaweza kupoteza uhai yeye na mtoto aliyeko tumboni. Baada ya kuzaa ndio anaweza kuwaomba wazazi wawasaidie kuhusu katika kutafuta suluhu. Nina hakika watapata muafaka, mateso katika ndoa sio mazuri ndoa ni kitu cha heri upendo na amani!
     
  15. Bigirita

    Bigirita JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 25, 2010
    Joined: Feb 12, 2007
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  16. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 25, 2010
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Shogako anafunika mambo; there must be a reason for all that
     
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