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What is Love?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BAK, Mar 14, 2011.

  1. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and undefinable. It's the subject of endless poems and literary works. There is an enormous amount of material available out there about love, a lot of it contradictory.


    We've been given the impression that to define love is near to impossible. Maybe there's a fear that if we define it, it would somehow be less powerful...less impactful...less exhilarating. Maybe we like the mystery of it. But is it really that complicated? Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all "stuff" we add on to this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.
    Basic Components of Love

    What do you feel when you love someone? If distilled down to it's core components, what would those be? Yes, love is an emotion, a feeling, a wanting, and a "being". We know it feels good, but what specific feelings, wantings, and beings are present when we feel love? Here are the common denominators of love...
    [​IMG] Love is Accepting.
    Acceptance is labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change them. Who they are is perfectly fine with you. You pose no condition on whether you will love them or not. This is call unconditional love. When your love IS conditional, the moment they step outside your set of conditions, love evaporates.

    [​IMG] Love is Appreciating.
    Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. Its when your focus is on what you like about another. We look at them and feel this sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their insights, their humor, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are "in love" with another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every thought.

    [​IMG] Love is Wanting Another to Feel Good.
    We want those we love to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally.
    How Do We Express Love?

    We don't always express our love. Love is a feeling and the expression of that feeling is separate. It's an action. There's a practical reason we don't always express our love for another. It's an issue of TIME. We only have 24 hours in a day (if you make it up that way). If the expression of love was a core ingredient to love, we would have to be stingy with who we loved, because there simply wouldn't be enough time to demonstrate our love for everyone! If you see the distinction between the feeling and the expression, you can then love endless numbers of people.


    Attention

    Love expressed is when you give your attention, your time, your focus to someone. Webster defines attention as "the giving of one's mind to something."
    There are many ways in which we give our attention to another. We use our five senses. Our ears to listen. Being completely present with the one who is speaking. Our eyes, watching another, undivided attention. Tasting/smelling? (I'll let you figure that one out). Touching, giving a hug, holding a hand, a caress, or sexual expression. How you express your love depends on the type of relationship.


    "When you look at love, you're looking into the face of appreciation."


    Who hasn't experienced the pain of love? Or is it the pain of rejection? The pain of self doubt? The pain of fear? It's important to distinguish between love and totally separate feelings.
    When it comes to pain surrounding love, we're more likely referring to the "add-ons" of love. The love baggage, we might call it. For some reason, many people assume negative emotions are a part or element of love. But experientially we know this isn't true.

    Love is not painful, it feels incredible. The pain and hurt we feel doesn't come from love, it comes from our doubts, fears, anxiety, perceived rejections, broken trusts, anger, jealousy, envy, etc. So why do we as a culture lump all those other feelings in with love?

    Perhaps its because we feel these uncomfortable emotions most often in association with our love relationships. Our primary relationships are important to us, so we assume these doubts and fears are all part of the loving experience. But is this really true?

    When we are fearful, angry, anxious, unhappy, or jealous, are we truly experiencing a state of love? They sure feel different, don't they? Love feels warm, open, joyous and filled with a deep sense of appreciation. Pain steps into a love relationship when you switch it from a "wanted relationship," into a "needed relationship." You don't NEED any one relationship. Want? Yes. Need? No.

    If you go into a relationship not feeling terribly good about yourself, you're more likely to become dependent on your partner to help you feel good about yourself. If we felt empty before they appeared in our lives, we fear the emptiness returning if they leave, so their staying with us becomes paramount. That dependency can create all kinds of fear and unhappiness when there's a perceived threat to you staying together.

    If we aren't giving ourselves the acceptance we crave, we look to those around us to provide it for us. Again, none of this has a thing to do with the love you feel, but everything to do with the fear you feel.
    If you really want to remove the love baggage of fear and unhappiness, the first step is to improve your self awareness and self acceptance.
     
  2. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Love is untangible,...

    you cannot touch nor smell it...
    you can only feel it,....

    kama njaa, au kiu,...
    hayachagui muda wala pahala
    hayajali wewe ni tajiri au maskini...

    kama upepo...
    kuna kipindi huvuma kwa kasi,
    kuna kipindi hayatikisi hata jani...

    hayapimiki wala hayana kiwango...

    Mapenzi ni dhana!
    UNCONTROLLED EMOTION.
     
  3. Washawasha

    Washawasha JF-Expert Member

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    sijaisoma yote kwa kweli ni ndefu mno,ila napita mara 1 nitarudi
     
  4. NILHAM RASHED

    NILHAM RASHED JF-Expert Member

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    mimi nime drag down kwanza then nikaondoka mbio halafu niliporudi ena nkamsoma huyo wa pili hapo,,,,,yaan mpaka sasa bado natafuta muda wa kuisoma....itakuwa huyu ame copy and paste...
     
  5. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Mar 14, 2011
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    Oohh dear looks like u have done a lot
    Of research about love..
    I would love to visit the web site u used. ...
    Would u be able to drop it here please..
    thank you..
     
  6. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    BAK ndefu mno halafu kidhungu aakkk will be back
     
  7. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Kama nimekuelewa vile ni kweli kabisa ndugu yangu mapenzi ni dhana!!!!!!!!
     
  8. NILHAM RASHED

    NILHAM RASHED JF-Expert Member

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    heheheh umesoma lakini afrodenzi au ndio wakwepa kihivyooo?mi mwenzio nimeandika tuu naona nimo tuu yaani bora bubu ataka kusema aone na mie nimecoment hehhehehehe lol,,,
     
  9. NILHAM RASHED

    NILHAM RASHED JF-Expert Member

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    aakk (akipandiiiii) nakuchokoza tuu usikasrike eeh??
     
  10. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Sielewi bana kidhungu cha ST. Kayumba ngumu bana kuelewa hapa.

    Hujambo lakini wewe?? Umepona??:focus:

    Nitarudi baadae
     
  11. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Hahahha lol
    nimesoma intro
    Nika charazia charazia hapo kati .
    na mwisho nokasoma tena..
    artical kama hii
    Ingeandikwa kwa rangi kidogo
    Weka picha au highlight/underline important bits ingekuwa simple zaidi..
    Just for future use..
     
  12. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Hi sis
    I love u
     
  13. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Love you too my sister.

    Jibu PM basi
     
  14. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Hey sis tayari
     
  15. NILHAM RASHED

    NILHAM RASHED JF-Expert Member

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    na mie yangu ushaijibu afrodenz,,, love u,,, hapa wivu juu umemwambia dena love u,,,looool,,,,
     
  16. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Ha hah aha ha Mie Love you NR
     
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