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Wazazi wenza...!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, May 23, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 23, 2011
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    Habari yenu wandugu...natumaini wote m-wazima wa afya!

    Linapokuja swala la mahusiano/ndoa na watoto waliozaliwa kabla hua hatuachi kuongelea mama wa kambo na malezi ya watoto.Naongelea wamama tu maana wababa wengi hua hawana matatizo wawe wazazi kabisa au walezi(wale wa kambo) linapokuja swala la mzazi mwenza kua na mahusiano mapya au wale wa kambo kulea watoto wa mwenzie tofauti na wa mama!

    Nwy mara nyingi wasiwasi hua unakua kwa watoto zaidi na malezi/uwepo wa mama wa kambo.Tunasahau kwamba hata yule mwanamke mpya anaweza akanyanyasika na uwepo wa watoto wasio wake pamoja na mama yao bila kusahau ndoa yake kuyumbishwa kama mti usio na nguvu dhidi ya upepo.Kama tunavyojua wakati mwingine au niseme baadhi ya wanawake hua na vinyongo..gubu..chuki kwa wazazi wenzao kwa kuachana nao...na kitendo cha mwanaume kupata mwanamke mwingine na kuoa hakiwi cha furaha kwa wote!Sasa wanawake wa aina hii wanaweza kutumia watoto wao kuyumbisha ndoa ya wengine pia kusambaza chuki.Ila muhimu hapa ni hili la kuyumbisha ndoa...kuharibu au hata kuondoa kabisa amani ndani ya nyumba ya mwanamke mwingine kwa kutengeneza mazingira ya kuwachanganya wapendanao!Unakuta mwenye watoto anawatumia wanae kumuendesha mwanaume kama gari moshi kitu ambacho hakiwezi kumfurahisha mwenye mume.Yani kama aliyeolewa ni mwepesi wa kukasirika na kubugidhiwa ndoa inaweza ikaishia kuzimu.

    Nakumbuka kuna mtu wangu wa karibu alipata shida sana kipindi cha mwanzo cha ndoa yake.Mwenye watoto alikua ni mkorofi sana na kila anachofanya anafanya kukomoa tu.Watoto amewahamishia shule ya kawaida ila ada anapokea ya shule ya international.Anawadanganya watoto wakubali kwamba wanaumwa ili amchune baba wa watu mpaka abaki mifupa tu.Ilikua kazi kweli maana unakuta mke alishataka/hitaji kitu akaambiwa pesa hamna bwana mwezi huu tufanye kitu flani alafu mwezi ujao tutafanya utakavyo...alafu mwenzie anapiga na kuagiza wala sio anaomba awe amepata maelfu kadhaa ndani ya masaa na anapata bila ubishi. Alilia mpaka baadae alipogundua kwamba sio kosa la mume wake...yeye tatizo lake ni mapenzi kwa wanawe na woga kwa yule mama.Ikabidi aanze kumshauri mumewe asiwe mwepesi wa kukubali kuchezewa na yule mama ndo mume nae akawa mgumu na kukataa kusukumwa kama mkokoteni!

    Kwahiyo naomba niwaulize wababa wenye mtoto/watoto tayari..hawapo kwenye ndoa ila wanatarajia kuwa siku moja...mmejiandaa vipi kukabiliana na changamoto zitakazosababishwa na juhudi za wazazi wenza kutaka kuvuruga ndo zenu na kuwaondolea amani ndani ya nyumba????!

    Binafsi naamini mwanaume akikataa kuchezewa na mzazi mwenza basi haitatokea...hivyo basi nawashauri muwe mnawapa wale mlio nao kipaumbele.Kama akiashiria kua kuna matatizo yanayosababishwa na mzazi mwenzio hakikisha tu haitokani na chuki kisha yafanyie kazi.Usikubali kuharibiwa ndoa/mahusiano yako kwa kisingizio cha watoto ambao hata hawahusiki.Usikubali kutumiwa wala kuchezewa....mahitaji mengine ya mtoto nunua mwenyewe usije ukageuzwa kitega uchumi.Kwa wamama ukijikuta kwenye situation kama hii jitahidi kua mvumilivu na mshauri wa mwenzio...pia jitahidi matatizo yatakayosababishwa na mama mtu yasizae chuki kwa mtoto!!

    Usiku mwema kwa mnaojiandaa kulala...jioni njema kwa mnaomalizia malizia siku na siku njema mnaoianza!Poleni kwa thread ndefu!
     
  2. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #2
    May 23, 2011
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    Kila mtoto alelewe na mama yake kama huyo mama yupo hai.....

    Mtoto aende kwa mama wa kambo akiwa na umri zaidi ya miaka 15.....
     
  3. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #3
    May 23, 2011
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    Lizzy partner kwa maneno uandikayo kuhusu wandoa na wazazi, it makes me wonder why my partner is so scared ku-commit na hali naamini una enough constructive knowledge kuliko hata waliomo kwenye ndoa tayari... Nimeipenda thread yako, na naamini kwa wanaume/wanawake wenye watoto na wasio na watoto itawafaa wakizingaitia...

    Najipanga dear....
     
  4. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    May 23, 2011
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    asha d

    najitahidi mno kujifanya sikuoni but
    somehow una catch my attention....

    I mean hiyo sinature yako hapo chini.......
    Mario puzo na don corleone ahhh..
    I cant find enough words to say....
     
  5. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #5
    May 23, 2011
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    Dearest,article nzuri nimependa, nachoshangaa ni kwanini umeshauri wanaume hivyo hapo nyekundu,na wanawake ukashauri tunapojikuta katika hali hiyo tuvumilie na kuwashauri wenzi wetu....in my opinion, uvumilivu uwe wa pande zote na mashauriano yatoke both sides,vivyo hivyo wanawake wasikubali kutumiwa wala kuchezewa, si kwamba nataka usawa,ila ninavyoona ushauri huu ni applicable both sides kwa kuwa challenges kama hizi zinatokea both sides.....

    Goodnight dearest Lizzy.....:A S-rose:
     
  6. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #6
    May 23, 2011
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    you are in a serious business Asha......she is still young....very wise though!!
     
  7. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #7
    May 23, 2011
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    I can understand you not having enough words...That guy was a genius...
    i never get tired of reading The last Don and The forth Kennedy
    and watching God Father esp no. 1... Marvelous...
     
  8. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #8
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    Haishi kuni impress... I wish once she settles may it be her best experience ever...
     
  9. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    very very few women
    loves the godfather and mario puzo...
    Keep it up...
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    she is very impressive...
     
  11. Mtoboasiri

    Mtoboasiri JF-Expert Member

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    May 23, 2011
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    Kwahiyo naomba niwaulize wababa wenye mtoto/watoto tayari..hawapo kwenye ndoa ila wanatarajia kuwa siku moja...mmejiandaa vipi kukabiliana na changamoto zitakazosababishwa na juhudi za wazazi wenza kutaka kuvuruga ndo zenu na kuwaondolea amani ndani ya nyumba????!

    Unamkumbuka yule bwana aliesema he is 42 years old with two kids from different mothers? Ndicho kinachomsibu hadi ashindwe kupata mwenza. Tatizo ni kuwa ni kina mama (at least in a conventional marriage) ndio wanaotumia muda mrefu na watoto. Same case you don't hear problems between father-in-law and son-in-law (as contrasted with mother-in-law VS daugther-in-law).

    But it is simplistic to just assume there is a clear-cut solution to this situation, because each person was created unique. We react differently to the same situation, though generally bado sijajua what is the problem with (the majority of) women kushindwa kuwalea watoto wao wa kambo kama wanavyowalea wa kwao wenyewe. Ukiniuliza mimi (sijui wanaume wengine out there wanasemaje) nitakwambia hivi juu ya swali lako:

    Sina jibu, inategemea huyo mwanamke nitakaekutana nae yukoje. Lakini Biblia inatwambia ndoa hujengwa na mwanamke! Which means hata ndoa inayokutanisha wazazi wawili kutokana na mahusiano yao ya awali kwa kiwango kikubwa itategemea mwanamke - kwa utashi wake toka moyoni mwake - yuko tayari kiasi gani kuwalea watoto wa mwenzake (kulea watoto wa wenzetu kwa wanaume hilo kwetu si shida kabisa maana hata ndani ya ndoa twabambikiwa sana tu na unajua ila mzee unauchuna kama Bushoke).
     
  12. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

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    ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa.....marriage responsibilities will change my Lizzy, and i do not want her to change, she might be busy and frustrated!!
    Lizzy hang on there girl.....i don't wanna miss you now....pls pls pls!!
     
  13. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    That‘s not the issue BOSS ...the issue is the mother using them kids to mess with someone else‘s marriage/relationship!!
     
  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Nampenda because he is one of the writers ambao wananifanya nielewe men's mind zaidi...
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    May 23, 2011
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    Partner mi siogopi bwana sema basi tu sijamwona wakunifanya nitamani!!
    Me is waiting.......
     
  16. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Michelle Michelle... mambo gani tena haya...
     
  17. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Asikusikie CP... but niko kufanya mipango... soon and very soon you will be one happy lady..
     
  18. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    as long as wewe haupo hivyo...inatosha..
     
  19. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    May 23, 2011
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    Asante dearest...nimewapendelea wababa kidogo maana ndo hawajui kwamba wanachezewa...hua wanaona wanatakiwa na kustahili kuendeshwa sababu inahusu watoto wao!!

    Night night dearest...sleep tight and sweet dreamz!
     
  20. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    kumbe sionekani???
    Ngoja nitumie mkorogo lol
     
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