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Wazazi/mzazi wa binti....

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Sep 20, 2011.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 20, 2011
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    [​IMG]...most parents worst nightmare; ni pale wazazi wa binti wanapotarifiwa mtoto wao ameconceive, ni mjamzito...au hata, ameathirika kwa UKIMWI.

    ...achilia mbali matayarisho ya kiroho,
    ni mambo gani muhimu ya kuzingatiwa kuhakikisha unamvusha salama binti kwenye temptations za ujanani, ili hata huko mbele ya safari asije ijutia CV yake kwa idadi ya sexual partners, numbers of abortions, magonjwa ya zinaa na heartbreaks nyinginezo? ...nazungumzia binti chini ya miaka 21 (ishirini na moja)...

    ...michango yenu kina mama na kina baba tafadhalini.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #2
    Sep 20, 2011
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    Mbu
    Once again, karibu kwenye jukwaa na aksante kwa topic nzuri (na picha).

    Kama nimekuelewa vizuri ni kuwa unaulizia hoe do we guide our baby gals kwenye maisha yao yote ya mahusiano. Kama ni hivyo then kumbuka kuwa kwa tamaduni zetu, maisha yetu na maadili yetu watanzania tulio wengi tuna tendency ya kuassume kuwa mabinti zetu ni "watoto" mpaka siku watakapotuletea mimba, magonjwa au taarifa za uchumba ......ile ya .........Mom/Dad ...there is something I want to talk to you, ...kuna wageni wanataka kuja kujitambulisha........ ndo tunashtuka ilhali ukweli ni kuwa wenetu wanakuwa mapema kuliko tunavyofikiria na ni muhimu kuwaweka karibu kama marafiki na si kama watoto.

    Ila kabla sijawezajibu hoja yako, ninaomba unisaidie maswali yangu haya ili nijione kama nimeielewa vizuri mada;
    1. Kuwazuia/ kuwachunga wasiingie deeply kwenye mahusiano kabla ya 21 (kama tunaweza) au
    2. Unazungumzia kuwavusha kwa maana ya kuwamonitor na number, aina na design ya boyfriends anaotoka now ?(assuming anakueleza kila kitu)? au kivipi?
     
  3. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    juzi nimetoka ku visit kids skul, nilivyomuona binti yangu(wa mr) ckuamni kama ndio huyo juzi alitoka likizo, next week anakuja likizo nina mpango wa kumweka chini na kuongea nae vizuri mambo ya ujana haswaaa, ile hofu ya kusema tutakuwa tunawakuza watoto kwa kuwaambia mambo ya kikubwa kabla ya umri tunatakiwa tuiondoe sasa na kuwa karibu nao kama marafiki, awe free kwangu niwe free kwake, MJ1 nilishtuka katoto kalivyokuwa karembo!
     
  4. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Mhhh ni mtihani mwingine sana maishani maana hawa watoto wa Dot.Com ni balaa nafikiri kukaa na binti mhusika na kumwelewesha madhara ya kila hatua ya maisha yake na sio ile biashara ya kuambiwa wanaume ni wabaya.

    Hii misemo ya wanaume ni wabaya imepitwa na wakati Mpe elimu hasa ya maisha ambayo itasaidia kumpa uelewa wa kila hatua aanayopitia na sio kuacha mpaka mambo yanakuwa too late ndo unakuja kushtuka na hii ianzie mapema kabisa (sijui nimeelewa )
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Umeona eeh nyamayao?! na hivi watoto wetu siku hizi si kama sie ambao muda mwingi tulikuwa na wazazi wetu, wao muda mrefu wanakuwa na marafiki yaani ni mitihani haswa.........lakini kama unaweza kushare na sie nyamayao (pengine itasaidia pia kujibu swali la Mbu) umepanga kuongea naye mambo gani??

    Mimi nilishawahikulkaa na binti wa Mr wangu (japo ilikuwa kwa siku mbili tu) kalikuwa katoto ka miaka saba and I was shocked aliponiambia .........Mamiii nikifika eleven nitahakikisha ninae Boyfriend mzuri kama Alehandro (wa kwelye tamthilia) nilijikuta najiuliza maswali ya nianzie wapi ku'zungumza' na huyu bunti but ah.......MUNGU hakupenda nipate jukumu hilo!
     
  6. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    umeelewa na kueleweka Rocky! ni kweli kabisa, watoto wa kizazi hiki na hii mitandao sio wa kuwaficha kitu, wanatakiwa waujue ukweli mapema kabisa.
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    MWJ1 ....SWADAKTAA!
    majibu ya maswali yako ndio haswa lengo nia na madhumuni ya mdahalo huu.

    Magazeti ya shigongo hayamung'unyi maneno na picha kuonyesha kizazi kinachoteketea, nasi wazazi na wasomaji tupo mstari wa mbele kuwanyooshea vidole mabinti wa wenzetu kukosa adabu, nidhamu na kujiheshimu, ilhali wengine imefikia hatua ya kuwalaumu wazazi wa hao wanaopamba sura za magazeti hayo.

    je, sisi kama wazazi....tunakosea wapi? tumeshindwa kukabiliana na kasi ya utandawazi? au ndio tunajivua lawama na kuwatupia kina facebook, sms chats, whatsapp chats nk?

    Tunaweza ku control vipi aina ya marafiki wa kike au wa kiume, na temptations nyingine za maisha ya kisasa, ikiwamo outings, sugar daddies, fashions etc...etc...?
     
  8. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 20, 2011
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    Mie ninachoona hapa wazazi tunapaswa kuwa na muda zaidi na watoto wetu ,tujenge mazingira ya kuwa rafiki na binti zetu ili hata pale mtoto anapokuwa na jambo linamtatiza anakuwa free kuja kuongea na wewe kama mzazi bila woga.

    Pia nadhani pale tunapoona mtoto anakuwa inabidi tuanze kumpa mafunzo madogo madogo yanayohusiana na ukuaji ,Mazingira yanayotukabili,Hili janga la ukimwi ,kwa ujumla anatakiwa kusikia kutoka kwa mzazi,mafunzo yanayoendana na umri alionao kwa wakati huo na kila anavyoendelea kukua bado anahitaji ukaribu na ushauri wa wazazi.

    Kuna jambo liliwahi kunitokea nikiwa na 14-16 years sikuweza kuongea na mama ama mtu awaye yote kwani niliogopa na siku zote sikuwa nimejengewa mazingira ya kufanya hivo..nilikuwa namuogopa mama yangu na hivi alikuwa ticha kwa kipindi hicho...yaani ndo nilikuwa nachanganyikiwa kabisa.

    Hivo sitaki mtoto wangu apate wakati mgumu kuelezea hisia zake kwangu..napenda awe free kabisa
     
  9. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    nilivyomuona nilihic tayari kameshavunja ungo may b matron kasahau kunical kuniambia coz nilishamuomba ikitokea hivyo anical mapema iwezekanavyo, ikawa bado, ndio pakuanzia hapo....hiyo week mitoko mie na yeye itakuwa mfululizo, hapo nitaanzia mbali kidogo (story za skul) mpaka nitaingia kwenye ishu ya kukua, awali nilimwambia matron anijulishe, sasa nikishaongea nae mwenyewe itakuwa jukumu lake kunijulisha itakapotokea, nitamweleza kila step anayotakiwa aichukue kwenye hiyo c2ation kama itamkutia skul( i wish imkutie home)....2kivuka hiyo step ndio ntakuja kumwelezea hayo mengine ya kujitambua yeye kama binti na c mtoto tena na kuingia kwenye ishu za mahusiano sasa!
     
  10. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    Sep 20, 2011
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    Hapa mimi baba wa mabinti wawili wazuri sana, acha nikae kimya nipate darasa.

    Ahsate moskwito kwa hii yuziful sredi. Ntaiprinti nimpelekee mama matesha naye apate maujuzi.

    Niko nawasomeni jamani, msichakachue.
     
  11. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Having my daughter nadhani ni vema kwanza kuwa unaelewa na kufahamu kama mzazi
    1. Number of marafiki alionao (wa kiume) na aina ya urafiki alionao
    2. kama ni boyfriend nafikiri ni vema ukamfahamu (na sometimes ukawa unazungumza naye kwa simu japo salamu - hapa tena ni mtihani wa aina yake maana kama ndo binti anaye jibaba aliye sawa na Babake afu yeye anamwita Boyfriend lol)
    3. Kuwa makini pale anapopata matatizo na current boyfriend wake, kuwa karibu na kumconsole kama imefikia break up lakini pia kumwongoza kwenye jinsi ya kuhandle emotional hurt na pia kumguide kuwa asiwe na uharaka wa kutafuta replacement.

    Kuna pia namna ya kumguide juu ya madhara ya kuwa na boyfriends wengi kwa umri wake au kubadili boyfriends mara kwa mara kwani kama Mbu ulivyoiweka inachangia kuharibu CV ya mtoto wa kike.
    Mie nimeyaorodhesha tu but namna ya kuyatekeleza ni mtihani kwa kweli! inahitaji ukaribu wa hali ya juu kati ya binti na mzazi!
     
  12. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    MJ1, huyu boyfriend unayemzungumzia ni kijana atakayekuwa anammega matesha wangu, au boyfriend kwa maana ya urafiki wa kawaida?.....Nachelea nisije kuua mtoto wa mtu!
     
  13. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu tunayakimbia yale magazeti na kuyalaani kuwa yanapoto-sha jamii na kutoa picha za uchi ila asilimia kubwa ya wasomaji wa yale magazeti ni watoto wetu wawe wa kiume au wa kike .

    Waangalizi wakubwa wa mitandao ya picha chafu ni watoto wetu na wako net au kwenye simu muda mrefu sana kuangalia hizo picha
    Mtaani ndo usiseme wanaovutiwa na watoto wetu wa kike au watoto wetu wa kiume wanaovutiwa nao ni masugar mammy ambao wako tayari kutoa pesa ili ampate serengeti boys ambaye ni handsome na anajua atakachomfanyia Sugar mammy.

    Naamini katika elimu na uwazi kwa watoto awe wa kiume au wa kike na kuambiwa kila kitu na kuwa karibu nae wakati wote na sio kumuonya na kumkataza kwa maneno makali ila kwa elimu ya kila kitu ajue na ajielewe mwenyewe wala usione aibu kuzungumza nae na kumpa ukweli na mustakabali wa maisha yake

    Mfundishe na mwambie A,B,C ya maisha na sex life na kuwa wazi kwake asikuogope wala asione aibu kukuambia baba hiki na hiki kikoje au mama nimetokewa na hili lifanyeje.

    Hilo ndio suluhisho ila tukiishia kuwaambia wanaume ni wabaya waogope atataka kujaribu ubaya wa wanaume ni nini na hapo umempoteza maana hataachia kwa mmoja bali na wa pili na wa tatu na then mwisho jibaba ambalo ni zaidi ya baba yake.

    Au unamwambia mtoto wa kiume kuwa wanawake ni wabaya atataka kujaribu ni nini alicho nacho mwanamke na ataishia kwa wamama na then masugar mammy
     
  14. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    pagumu hapo...na huu mparangano wa lyfe la cku hizi pwehhh...watoto boarding, baba/mama kule wakisaka faranga kazi ipo....nadhani ni kuwa free/frnds na watoto wetu, u free alionao sasa hivi kwangu nina mpango tukimaliza maongezi awe free zaidi, kila nikimcal akiwa skul nitakuwa namkumbushia mada tuliyoiongelea, kama anakumbuka vzr tuliongea nn na nn kirafiki zaidi....agrrrr ctaki kabisa na sie tunalea watoto wa mr we2 wakienda kombo kgdo lawama ze2....haya bwana!
     
  15. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Hah ODM bwana .......hapana nakushauri ufumbe macho tu na kuashumu kuwa ni boyfriend ambaye ana feelings naye (hawafanyi lol) kwa sababu ukianza kufikiria hayo kweli hutopata ukweli wa Matesha na Mashanga Babu. Assume hajawahi hata kufunua goti. Ingawa ukweli ni kuwa siku hizi Binti wa miaka 18- 20 uwezekano wa yeye kujaribu japo mara moja ni mkubwa kuliko tunavyowafikiria, ingawa wapo ambao bado ni strong kutokana na malezi.
     
  16. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Suala la malezi ni jambo gumu sana hasa watoto wanapokua na kubalehe nadhani presha zinazidi kipindi hiki.

    Kama mzazi inabidi u-play your part, ongea na muelimishe mwanao pia muda mwingine uwe na misimamo kwenye maamuzi yako..Kuwasiliana na mtoto isiwe mpaka siku amekosea au laa, bali iwe muda wote ili mradi uhakikishe kila ushauri ulionao umemshirikisha mwanao.

    Mwisho wa siku, tuwaombee watoto wetu nao wawe na upeo wa kuchambua mambo na kuacha kufuata mikumbo au kutaka kujaribu kila kitu kisa fashion n.k.

    Hali ya maisha na mabidiliko kiujumla kama teknolojia inachangia sana kuharibu watoto kwa upande mwingine!!
     
  17. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

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    GOD FORBID!

    Ngoja niikimbie hii sredi, kuna vijana naona shkamoo zimekuwa nyingi sana kwangu siku hizi..... Nisije nikatenda dhambi bure..... Mi naona mabinti wanahitaji kuwa karibu na wawazi zaidi kwa mama zao. Wababa wengine tunawaonea wivu mpaka mabinti zetu........
     
  18. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    ki western zaidi....mhhh ngumu sana aise, hapo unaongea na bfnd wake kama ulivyosema cku mnakutana nae kwenye mihangaiko binti anaku introduce"mum huyu ndio Mbu unaeongeaga nae kwenye phone" unakuta ni wa kuitwa babu...pwehhh, na pia MJ1 tunaweza kuongea/kuwa fnds/free nao bado wakaona kama ndio chance ya kuitumia hiyo (kwa wale wepec wa kushawishika)....Mbu nae thread zake bwana khaaa...nimefanya kumfikiria binti yangu mara mbili mbili kwa jinc alivyo kwa sasa!
     
  19. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...that hurts, ....imeniuma sana pamoja na kwamba mimi mwanaume, lakini mtoto kufikia
    kukosa uhuru wa kuongea na mzazi wake, nauchukulia kama kupoteza uhuru wa kujitambua...
    pole sana.


    ...nyamayao, kwa maandiko yako tu naamini tuna share same worries za watoto hawa wanaokuwa haraka kuliko tunavyojitayarisha.. tatizo, hata tujiandae vipi,....kuna mambo yanatupita tu, ...mfano huo mshtuko kumkuta bintiyo kawa mrembo zaidi...

    ujue kuna mifisi nayo inamuangalia, sijui tujiandae vipi hapo wazazi...


    ...kiongozi we acha tu, mpaka nimeanzisha unyuzi huu, ujue kuna lililo nifika...
    naugulia uchungu hapa wa mwana aisee....naweza ua bila kukusudia!
    khaaa....nikiyafikiria magazeti ya shigongo ndio yanazidisha uchungu wangu...
     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Bj umenena vema na hasa hapo kwenye Wazazi wawe na msimamo yao juu ya mabinti ni jambo muhimu sana. Aksante kwa kuligusia hilo.
     
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