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Wazazi msiwaambukize watoto wenu chuki dhidi ya wazazi wenzenu?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Tuko, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

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    Naomba kichwa cha habari kisomeke; Wazazi msiwaambukize watoto wenu chuki dhidi ya wazazi wenzenu

    Wapo watu waliozaa, na kwa sababu moja au nyingine hawaishi pamoja. Wapo baadhi ya watu (hasa wamama) ambao kwa sababu fulani wamekorofishana na wazazi wenzao au wamekimbiwa au kutelekezwa na wazazi wenzao. Naomba ninene nao...

    Acheni tabia ya kuwapandikiza chuki watoto hawa dhidi wa ya wazazi wasioishi nao

    Acheni kuwakataza watoto hawa kuwajua au kuwaona wazazi wao wasioshi nao

    Ugomvi wako na baba mtoto au mama mtoto wako uishie kati yenu, usiuambukize kwa mtoto

    Wakati mnafikiria kuwa mnawakomoa au kuwaadhibu hao wenzenu, jueni kuwa mnapandikiza ugonjwa mbaya sana wa kisaikolojia, ambao baadae utakuja kumdhuru mtoto mwenyewe, watu wengine (akiwepo mwenzi wake wa ndoa) au hata wewe mwenyewe

    asanteni
     
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Kwa kiasi fulani hoja yako ina mshiko.

    Ila kama kwa chuki unamaanisha watoto wasijulishwe ukweli kuhusu wazazi wao walivyo na ambavyo hata walipozaliwa hawakuwataka pole sana!Hili swala ni pana sana kuliko unavyoweza kufikiria!Siku ukiwa kwenye position ya mmoja wa wamama walionyanyaswa pamoja na bichanga vyao ndo utajua nini kinachoendelea!!
     
  3. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

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    Ni kweli Lizzy, but kabla mama hajaamua kumweleza mwanae ubaya wa baba yake, anatakiwa ajikumbushe kuwa baba ni baba na atabakia kuwa baba kwa mtoto, tofauti na mfano mume, ambaye anaweza kubadilika kesho akawa shemeji yako...

    So, unapomweleza mtoto 'ubaya' wa baba yake, chuja sana yale unayomweleza, kwani hata akimchukia, hataweza kumbadilisha.
    In fact lawama zinatakiwa zimuendee huyu mama ambaye alikubali (au kwa kutokuchunguza) kumpatia huyu mtoto baba mbaya, au...
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Kwanini mama ndo ahusike kumfichia baba maovu yake???!Kama hakutaka kuonekana kituko mbele ya mwanae
    asinge/asifanye mambo ya kumuaibisha au kumfanya mwanae amchukie.

    Kuhusu kumlaumu mama naomba ufute hiyo kauli yako...watu wakitembea barabarani hua wanaonyeshwa walivyo ndani ya mioyo yao???Wanaumr wengi hata wenyewe hua hawajui watakua wababa wa aina gani mpaka inapotokea mtoto amepatikana/mimba imetungwa!Sasa mama ye ndo ajue kwasababu ni mnajimu ama?!
     
  5. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

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    Ok, kimsingi nafuta kauli ya kumlaumu mama...
    Hata hivyo nasimamia kuwa mama asimweleze mtoto uovu wa baba yake aliomtendea, kwa sababu inamuathiri sana huyu mtoto kisaikolojia.
    Fikiria mama ametelekezwa na baba baada ya kuzaa mtoto, then mtoto anapata akili anaambiwa kuwa baba yako ni mbaya na msaliti, then huyu mama anapata bwana mwingine na anazaa watoto wengine, then huyu mtoto mkubwa anaona kuwa mama yake yuko happy na baba wa kambo, (kwa sababu yeye sio msaliti), lakini hayuko na baba yangu kwa sababu baba yangu ni msaliti na mbaya...

    Unadhani mhanga huyu (mtoto), atakuwa anajisikiaje mbele ya wale wadogo zake, hasa wanapoongelea kuhusu baba?
     
  6. jockey emmanuel

    jockey emmanuel JF-Expert Member

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    ni kweli,watoto wengi huathirika kisaikolojia kupitia maneno hayo...na kuishia kushindwa ku-keep their future relationships
     
  7. Aisha Adam

    Aisha Adam JF-Expert Member

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    hebu tusiwahukumu moja kwa moja lkn kama matendo kama haya yakiwepo haina haja ya kusema kuna mtu kawaambukiza chuki
    1;mwanaume kumpiga au kumtukana mkewe mbele za watoto
    2;Kutowapatia mahitaji yao ya msingi
    3;Kuonyeshana dharau mbele ya watoto
    4;Mke kumleta mwaname mwingine ndani ya nyumba yao na huku baba yao bado yupo hai
    5;Mme kumletea mkewe ndani ya nyumba yao na kulala nae kwenye kitanda cha mama yao bado yupo hai
    Mambo kama hayo yakitendeka ndani ya nyumba na watoto wameishakuwa wakubwa kwanini wasikuchukie?
    Hebu mwenye sbb nyindine atuongezee hapo
     
  8. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Kama ni wa kiume atajifunza asije kua kama baba yake kwasababu akifanya hivyo atakumbuka machungu aliyopitia mama yake...pia atakua na appreciation kwa wanawake.

    Wa kike atajifunza kwamba kuna wanaume wabaya na wazuri hapa duniani.Hii itamsaidia kutochukia wanaume wote collectivelly hata ikitokea akatendwa...atajua tu kwamba wapo wazuri kama aliyempa mama yangu furaha ni kiasi tu cha kukutana nae.Bila kusahau ujasiri...atajifunza kua jasiri kama alivyokua mama yake!!
     
  9. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

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    Ha ha haaa...
    Hayo atakuja kuyajifunza baadae sana tena anaweza akayaelewa bila ya yeye kuwa mfano. Kikubwa na kibaya cha kwanza, huyu mtoto atajifeel inferior. Hakuna kilema kibaya kama hiki dada yangu na kimewaangamiza wengi. Siku zote mtoto huyu atajifeel mwenye kasoro kwa sababu ametokana na baba mwenye kasoro. Atakosa confidence mbele ya wenzake, na hii itamuathiri hata katika maisha ya kawaida kama shuleni nk, na ikitokea siku mama ukamfokea, au baba wa kambo, au ndugu yake, ataona kuwa yeye ndiye anayebeba mzigo na lawama za baba yake hata kama alifokewa kwa nia nzuri...

    Hizi ni baadhi tu ya athari za kisaikolojia, nimeshuhudia kwa watoto kadhaa...
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Unayosema yangekua yana ukweli kuna mtu nnaemjua angekua anajiona yeye sio kabisa!Bahati nzuri haongozwi na maovu/makosa ya baba yake!!
     
  11. BlackBerry

    BlackBerry JF-Expert Member

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    Yaani hii huwa inaumiza sana watoto, sasa inakuja kuwa balaa zaidi kwenye harusi, yaani mtu mnakuwa mnaangliana kimachale sana, kuna send off nilihudhulia hii mama aliachwa baba akaoa mwanamke mwingine, basi kwenye send off wamevaa sare mara akiitwa mama wa mtoto wanajistukia wamesimama wote basi tu ili mradi taabu
     
  12. N

    Ngo JF-Expert Member

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    Lizzy;Kwanini mama ndo ahusike kumfichia baba maovu yake???!Kama hakutaka kuonekana kituko mbele ya mwanae asinge/asifanye mambo ya kumuaibisha au kumfanya mwanae amchukie.

    Kuhusu kumlaumu mama naomba ufute hiyo kauli yako...watu wakitembea barabarani hua wanaonyeshwa walivyo ndani ya mioyo yao???Wanaumr wengi hata wenyewe hua hawajui watakua wababa wa aina gani mpaka inapotokea mtoto amepatikana/mimba imetungwa!Sasa mama ye ndo ajue kwasababu ni mnajimu ama?

    Tatizo ni pale hata kama mama ndo alikuwa chanzo cha kuachana na mumewe bado atamjaza mwanae maneno mabaya kuhusu baba yake. Hata mwambia kuwa mimi ndo nilkuwa chanzo cha baba yako kuniacha badala yake mtoto ataambiwa baba yako ni mbaya sana alinitelekeza na mambo mengine mengi ili mradi tu mtoto amchukie baba yake.

    Kwa watoto wa kike ndo inaweza kuwa mbaya zaidi maana inaweza kumuathiri kisaikoloji juu ya wanaume. Kama wadada wengi wanavyolalama hapa kuwa '' Wanaume wabaya sana, hawaaminiki, hawapendeki, ni viumbe wanaofanana n.k.'' usitegemee kwa wadada wa namna hiyo kama maisha yao yalikuwa ya kutendwa kutowa Positive comments juu ya wanaume. Hivyo mtoto wa kike atakuwa akiwa na negative attitude juu ya wanaume. Itamfanya asiweze kujitoa kwa moyo wake wote kwa yule atakayeeonyesha kumpenda. Ikitokea kutofautina kidogo na mpenzi wake hatachukilia km challenge za kawaida katika mahusiano badala yake atajuwa ndo yale yale '' wanaume watoto wa baba mmoja''

    Jambo la msingi tunapaswa kusema ukweli pale unapostahili na siyo kuongeza chumvi kwa sababu tu ya tofauti zenu wazazi. Inakela kusikia baadhi ya watu wanaotumia sababu ya kuumizwa kwao ku-generalize kuwa jinsia moja ni mbaya kwa sababu tu ya mambo yaliyowasibu.
     
  13. rosemarie

    rosemarie JF-Expert Member

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    mama wa mtoto wangu amekuja kumchukua mtoto kwetu machame na kumpeleka huko alikoolewa halafu anamkataza asije kwetu,,pasaka iliyopita alimkataza kuja kwetu,,niliumia sana hasa ukizingatia mtoto wangu ni wa kiume,,nimeamua kunyamaza kimya akikua atanitafuta mwenyewe,,is pain
     
  14. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Ungekua muungwana ungeongea nae ukamwomba taratibu amlete kusalimia...tatizo lenu wanaume mnajiona wajuaji na kudemand mambo ndo maana wanawake na sie tumekua viburi!!!
     
  15. rosemarie

    rosemarie JF-Expert Member

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    unajua nini nimeamua kunyamaza kwa sababu mwanamke ana kiburi saaaana,kwa hiyo yangu macho ntakaa kimya mpaka mtoto arudi mwenyewe
     
  16. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Kama kweli unampenda na unataka kua maishani mwake kua na mawasiliano mazuri na mama yake....unaweza subiria mpaka unazeeka na wajukuu zako wakamwita mume mwenza babu!
     
  17. Mamndenyi

    Mamndenyi JF-Expert Member

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    Utawafisha wakiwa wadogo, siku moja watajionea wenyewe, na ndipo chuki inapoanzia.:glasses-nerdy:
     
  18. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

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    Kinachosikitisha ni kuwa chuki kati ya baba na mama, zinaweza kumkosesha mtoto fortunes katika maisha yake ya baadae. Kwa mfano unaweza kukute mzazi aliye na mtoto ana limited capability ya kumpa elimu au kazi mwanae, lakini nageweza kupata msaada kutoka kwa mzazi mwenzie. Lakini chuki inamfanya akomae tu na kumpotezea huyo mtoto future kwa sababu ya matatizo yao. Mbaya ni kuwa huyo mtoto baadae akikua anaanza kumtambua mzazi wake mwingine, tena anaweza kumpenda kuliko weewe uliyekuwa unamjaza chuki udogoni...
     
  19. D

    Dina JF-Expert Member

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    Lizzy, mimi naona wakati mwingi hii mbinu ya Mtorii inasaidia. Kuna dada namfahamu, pamoja na kuolewa, lakini hataki baba mtoto wake (ambaye ameshaoa) amchukue mtoto si kwa kusalimia wala nini. Na madai yake hataki mtoto wake akaishi na mama wa kambo. SIna tatizo na argument yake, lakini anafikia to the extent ya kumwambia baba mtoto kama anamtaka mtoto kumsalimia basi amchukue azunguke naye tuu, na siyo kumpeleka kwake jioni arudishwe. Watu wakamshika masikio mwanaume wakamwambia mtoto hagombaniwi, muda muafaka ukifika atakutafuta tu, cha msingi wewe kama ni ada lipa shuleni na achana na kukimbizana na mambo ya mtoto. Na kweli, imemletea amani mwanaume coz sasa hivi yeye ndiye anatumiwa ujumbe kuwa mtoto aje likizo? Kwa sababu hamna mtu wa kuendekeza drama alizokuwa anaziibua pale linapogusiwa suala la mtoto.

    Kwa mtazamo wangu mie, hizi purukushani za wazazi wenza mwisho wake ni watoto ndio wanaoumia, coz ukimkuta baba kichaa anasusa kabisa hata kuhudumia huyo mtoto. Labda ukikuta na mama mtu anaweza kumhudumia mwenyewe.
     
  20. L

    Laura Mkaju Senior Member

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    Tuko amenikumbusha kipindi kilee cha utoaji wa TUZO ZA KILI MUSIC AWARD nilikuwa najiuliza maswali mengi sana kwanini kila msaani anaepata tuzo anasema anamshukuru sana MAMA YAKE na sio wazazi wake?? Nahisi jibu sijui ndio hili.
     
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