Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Watu wazima wananitisha na maoni yao kuhusu ndoa........

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by The Boss, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,043
    Likes Received: 14,262
    Trophy Points: 280
    Kila mara nikipata nafasi ya kuzungumza na watu wazima

    hasa wanaume ambao wapo kwenye ndoa zaidi ya miaka15 na kuendelea

    ajabu ni kuwa maoni yao karibu yote au niseme asilimia 90 kuhusu ndoa na wanawake
    ni negative kabisa.......

    wengi huwa kama wanajutia hivi au hawawapendi wake zao...

    na watu hawa ambao nazungumza nao ni mchanganyiko,
    i mean wengine wana elimu ya kutosha,wengine elimu ya kawaida
    wengine kipato kikubwa,wengine kipato kidogo au wastani...
    but karibu wote
    nikiwauliza kitu wananifanya niogope au niwatazame wanawake kwa ujumla
    tofauti......

    wengi wao watakwambia.....wanawake hawana shukrani....
    hata umfanyie nini mwanamke atatoka tu nje..
    wanawake wote makatili...na wana roho mbaya..
    wanawake hawasamehi....
    wanawake hivi,wanawake vile...

    kwa ufupi its all negative......
    yaani ukikuta mwanaume over 45 anaongea kitu positive kwa ujumla kuhusu wanawake ni nadra sana.........

    najiuliza nini hasa??????tatizo lipo wapi????????????
     
  2. Tuko

    Tuko JF Bronze Member

    #2
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Jul 29, 2010
    Messages: 11,182
    Likes Received: 347
    Trophy Points: 180
    Kiukwel kila kizur kina ubaya wake. Kwa bht mbaya wanadam tunapenda kuongelea mabaya ya k2 kuliko mazur yake.
     
  3. Desidii

    Desidii JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Messages: 1,212
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 135
    Boss hivi huwa unaongea na wababa tu na wanawasema wamama tu??? Im Gender sinsitive dear
     
  4. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,289
    Likes Received: 25
    Trophy Points: 145
    Cha kushangaza hata wanawake watu wazima wanatuambia hayo hayo kuhusu wanaume na tunakata tamaa kuhusu wanaume.....
    Ila zaidi ya kuambiwa hata mimi nawaona wanaume kuwa na hizo sifa ulizoambiwa wanazo wanawake.........ni kujitahidi tu kuvumiliana,kuwa wazi na kutatua tofauti zinazojitokeza kwenye ndoa kwa wale watakaoamua kuwa na ndoa....ila tukiangaliana ubaya,hakutakuwa na ndoa.....:coffee::coffee::coffee:
     
  5. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 1, 2010
    Messages: 17,782
    Likes Received: 1,672
    Trophy Points: 280
    duuuhh
    eee hii imeniuma sana
    inauma sana kusikia 90% ya wanaume ni negativity kuhusu wake zao..
    (Hopeful hii statistic yako sio ukweli)

    kwa sababu mimi nina uhakika wanawake wengi
    wanawateteaga sana wanaume zao..
    utakuta hata na wengine wako kwenye abuse marrige
    lakini mbele za watu ..
    atamfanya mumeo mzuri..
     
  6. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 49,973
    Likes Received: 9,614
    Trophy Points: 280
    Maneno makubwa sana hayo Michelle...uvumilivu ni kitu kikubwa sana ndani ya ndoa. Ukiwa unakurupuka na kufanya maamuzi ya haraka haraka bila kutafakari kwa kina basi kamwe ndoa nyingi hazitadumu.

     
  7. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 4, 2010
    Messages: 5,235
    Likes Received: 17
    Trophy Points: 0
    Positives zipo ila its human nature watu ku-take for granted mazuri yote (kwamba ni haki yao) na wanaconcentrate kwenye negatives.
     
  8. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Feb 14, 2008
    Messages: 6,992
    Likes Received: 835
    Trophy Points: 280
    Wanawake na wanaume ni tofauti, tena sana na kwa tofauti hizo hata inashangaza ni vipi tunaweza (kwa wanaoweza) kukaa pamoja kwa muda mrefu! Cha muhimu ni kujua tofauti hizi (wengine kwa makosa huita udhaifu) na kuishi accrodingly.

    Watu wengi hawajui tofauti hizi na hivyo kuwa chanzo kikubwa cha matatizo katika ndoa ama mahusiano baina ya mwanake na mwanaume. Nyingi ya tofauti hizi ni ya kimaumbile (biological) na pia kisakolojia. Kwa mfano kuna tofauti kubwa ya kimuundo na ufanyaji kazi wa ubongo wa mwanamke na mwanaume. Hili peke yake linaweza kuwa source ya mivutano au sintofahamu nyingi kwenye mahusiano kati ya mke na mume.
     
  9. sinafungu

    sinafungu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Feb 13, 2010
    Messages: 1,169
    Likes Received: 265
    Trophy Points: 180
    nenda kamuulize fundi viatu faida anayopata ktk kazi yake (hatokuambia) badala yake atakueleza kuwa anafanyia shida tu, au mazoea. AKUAMBIE ILI NA WEWE UNUFAIKE KISHA UMPOKONYE WATEJA.? lkin kila siku utamuta anaendelea na wala haachi. kadhalika ktk ndoa ni hivyohivyo, shida zipo na raha zipo. itategemea mwenzako uliyenaye. na ktk maisha hilo la kuoa ama kuolewa huwezi kulikwepa.kimsingi tafuta mwenza uliyetosheka naye ktk kila idara.
     
  10. Matango

    Matango JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Jan 14, 2011
    Messages: 512
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 35
    Ndoa ni kuvumiliana. Mnapokutana kwa maana ya kuoana kumbuka kila mmoja ana background yake hamuwezi kufanana kwa yale unayoyapenda au unayoyachukia. Kinachotakiwa kila mmoja awasilishe ya kwake anayoyapenda na asiyoyapenda na kila mmoja awe wazi kwa mwenzake. Mkichanganya hayo mambo ya kila mmoja mtakachokipata ndio kitaunda taasisi yenu mpya ya wana ndoa. Maana yake ni kwamba kuna ambayo mwanaumme itabidi ayaache na yapo ambayo mwanamke itabidi aachane nayo kutoka maisha yake ya kabla ya ndoa. Wakati mwingine uogimvi wa ndoa unaweza kuanza kwa kitu kidogo tu kama dawa ya meno. Mmoja amezoea kubonyeza kutokea chini na mwingine alizoea kubonyeza kutokea juu. Hiyo ikawa kesi.Hakuna mwanaumme (kama wewe ni mwanamke) utakayempata ukaridhika naye asilimia 100 na hakuna mwanamke (kama wewe ni mwanaume) utakayeridhika naye kwa asilimia 100. Hebu fikiria maisha yangekuwa SHWAARIII moja kwa moja ndani ya nyumba hali ingekuwaje-Binadamu tunatofautiana mioyo na imani. Fikiria huyo unayegombana naye baadhi ya wakati anapokuwa HAYUPO. Utasema tu ooh I am missing U ? Hata mfano wa siasa chama A hakina raha bila ya kuwepo chama B japokuwa havielewani. Pamoja na hayo extremism haiwezi kukubalika na ndio maana baadhi ya ndoa huvunjika.:clap2:
     
  11. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,043
    Likes Received: 14,262
    Trophy Points: 280

    yaani hawa watu wazima wanashangaza sana...
    Unakuta wote wapo kwenye ndoa but kila wanachoongea kuhusu ndoa ni negative
    ukiwaulizza wanakwa mbia subiri utaona...as if ndio hivyo hata uwe vipi...
     
  12. P

    Paul S.S Verified User

    #12
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Aug 27, 2009
    Messages: 5,841
    Likes Received: 174
    Trophy Points: 160
    Mkuu hiyo research yako ilikua imebase kwenye negative tu?
    Watu wengi tunakosea kwa kudhani tofauti za wanandoa ni ubaya, wanandoa ni watu waliokutana kutoka ktk background tofauti kwa kila mmoja mimi naweza penda dagaa yeye hapendi anapenda mlenda ambao mimi siupendi, kwa hali kama hii busara na kuvumiliana na kuchukuliana isipozingatiwa ndio inapelekea hayo majibu uliokuwa unapewa.
    Majibu mengine hayana mantiki kama kusema hata umpe nini mwanamke atatoka nje, huu ni upuuzi kugeneralise wanawake wote ni malaya.
    Ni wewe na mwenza wako ndio mtaamua muishi maisha gani,
     
  13. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 16, 2010
    Messages: 7,289
    Likes Received: 25
    Trophy Points: 145
    Hao ni kuwasikiliza tu hekima zao,wajua kuishi kwingi kuona mengi.....the jifunze kutoka kwao na kujitahidi kuwa na ndoa bora zaidi....they say experience is the best teacher,so learn from their mistakes,ask them how they dealt with their problems and then do your best.Hakuna namna ya kukwepa kila mtihani hapa duniani The Boss,ndoa ni moja wapo......kwa watakaochagua ndoa,ni kumuomba Mungu na kwenda ukiwa na nia safi na malengo sahihi na kujua changamoto na shida zitakuwepo....ila kama kuna malengo sahihi kati ya wanandoa na wote wana nia ya kutatua matatizo yao hakuna linaloshindikana.
     
  14. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,043
    Likes Received: 14,262
    Trophy Points: 280
    Very true.........kuna msemo kuwa binadamu tuna capacity kubwa ya kupokea maumivu kuliko furaha....

    So it is so easy to get hurt than to receice pleasure,its difficult to make people happy but so easy to hurt the...

    Labda ndo sababu...........
     
  15. Jay One

    Jay One JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Nov 12, 2010
    Messages: 9,300
    Likes Received: 1,965
    Trophy Points: 280
    i know 4 women walio olewa, wote wa watoto zaidi ya wawili, na wawili kati yao wpo for 9 yrs ndani ya ndoa, cha ajabu na kushangazaa
    tulipojuana mwanzoni hakuonyesha kuna shida tena nyingi ndani ya ndoa, hadi miezi 6 hivi ndio kuzoena kiundani, mmoja kaanza kusema
    live shida na mateso, sikuamini, eti mumewe ni mhuni sana, hata maziwa ya mtoto halipi, mara siku nyingine harudi home, na after a year
    hao watatu slowly the same thing, mara kugombana miezi miwili haipiti, mmoja mumewe hata kamzalisha h/girl imagine. ila wanawake
    hao hao hata ukimwambia vipi kuhusu mambo ya chumbani anasema anafanya tu basi wala hamu hana, na mengine hata kuandika siwezi,
    huu ni upande wa wanawake, pili pale DICC Dar, i attended seminar ya ukimwi a year ago, Dr mtoa mada na ambaye wanahudumia wagonjwa
    wa ukimwi ALINITISHA, hata kusema wanawake wengi wanamjia na kusema ndani ya ndoa hawaridhiki wanatoka nje mbaya zaidi
    wanatoa tigo nje sana ndio waridhike, wala si kwa pesa no kuridhishwa na vijana/mume wa pembeni, na wababa wengi pia huwa na dogodogo nje wakila
    bata hivyo hivyo, na tukamwuliza kwa nini wasikae pamoja na kula bata ikiwa kila mmoja anatoka nje na ukimwi uko kila kona?
    Jibu sasa, ETI AIBU na HAKUNA ANAYETAKA KUONEKANA MHUNI NDANI YA NDOA, unaona, ndoa ni mtihani, watch out, wenza wakae
    ongeeni BLACK & WHITE, kila kitu.
     
  16. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Aug 18, 2009
    Messages: 36,043
    Likes Received: 14,262
    Trophy Points: 280
    very true................
     
  17. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Oct 24, 2010
    Messages: 23,718
    Likes Received: 394
    Trophy Points: 180
    Tenda mema 100 ila ujue siku ukiteleza ukatenda baya 1 ujue mema yako yote yatafunikwa na ubaya uliofanya.
    Hivyo ndivyo maisha tunayoishi yalivyo hasa kwenye mahusiano.
    Hebu fikiria watu wanadumu kwenye ndoa kwa miaka 10. Ni mazuri mangapi waliyofanyiana?
    Ni raha ngapi walizopeana?
    Lakini cha ajabu uhusiano uliodumu kwa miaka 10 huweza kuvunjika ndani ya siku moja.
     
  18. Mamushka

    Mamushka JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Feb 17, 2010
    Messages: 1,611
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Duh sijui niwe sister wakanisani tu? Hivi vigezo vya kua sister ni nini tena? Labda nikiwa sister kikombe hiki cha mateso kitaniepuka. Kila ndoa mateso mara hivi mara vile, ndoa changa vurugu, za muda mrefu majibu ndo hayo sijui twende wapi sasa mh.
     
  19. kisukari

    kisukari JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jan 30, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2010
    Messages: 3,307
    Likes Received: 504
    Trophy Points: 280
    wanawake ni wavumilivu sana katika ndoa,nao huwa wana mengi yanayowatokea ndani ya ndoa,ukisikiliza vilio vyao,navyo ni vingi,juu ya yote ndoa ni safari ndefu na inahitaji uvumilivu wa hali ya juu.
     
  20. manenge

    manenge JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jan 31, 2011
    Joined: Apr 30, 2008
    Messages: 280
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 0
    Isikutishe sana ukiamua kuingia kwenye hiyo club we ingia tu. kuna vitu vya msingi katika nyumba/ndoa ambapo usipovifanyia kazi ndoa inakuwa at risk. Kwanza inategemea mmeona kwa sababu gani. wengine watakuambia tumeona kwa sababu tunataka watoto. wengine nimemuoa kwa sabubu mwanamke au mwanaume ni mzuri sana, au nimeolewa naye kwa sababu ana pesa nyingi. List hii ya sababu ni ndefu sana lakini ukweli kama driving force ya ndoa yenu haikuwa UPENDO Ujue kwamba hiyo ndoa itadumu tu endapo sababu iliywafanya kuoana itakuwepo. Hiyo sababu ikiisha tu ujue ndoa haipo. Mfano kama lengo lilikuwa kupata watoto na bahati mbaya ikatokea hamna watoto ujue tayari sababu ya kuachana ni wazi. kama ni pesa nazo ni hivyo. Nakushauri umwombe Mungu akupe mtu mayependana katika shida na raha ndoa itadumu.
     
Loading...