Watoto wa kike na baba zao

[nyumba kubwa]

Jamani mimi kuna kitu nime notice. Kuna baba nasoma nae ni mganda mtu mzima sana alichelewa kuoa na ana watoto watatu, last born wake ana miaka minne. Huyu baba alikuwa anatuambia juzi kuwa yeye hataki kabisa kabinti kake kachezee mwanasesele. Anasema tena hivi yuko na kaka zake, anamnunulia magari, mipira na bastora achezee ili asiwe na tabia za kike. Nikakumbuka baba yangu alikuwa anatuambia angependa sana mtoto wake wa kwanza, dada yetu angekuwa mwanaume kwani alikuwa anampenda sana. Na si kuwa hatukuwa na kaka tulikuwa nao.

Na mimi nikakumbuka malezi nilopewa na baba yangu. Alikuwa hataki kabisa tuwe legelege kama wanawake. Kwa mfano alikuwa ananambia hamna mtu anayeweza kuni beat darasani kwani wanawake na wanaume wote ni sawa. Na kweli nilikuwa napata bichwa basi darasani was always perfoming wonders just to please my dady kwani those early days sikujua hata umuhimu wa kusoma. Na imenifanya hata nilipokuwa college undergraduate kuwashangaa sana wasichana wanavyobanana kwa wanaume kuomba msaada wa kufundishwa hata bila kujua viwango vyao vya uelewa. Yaani utakuta wote mko first year hamjajua bado nani kichwa lakini mabinti wanawaaminia wavulana kuwa ndio wenye akili kumbe kuna wadada wenye akili pia.

Kwa baba yangu ilikuwa hata kumwambia baba nimepata mchumba unafikiria mara mbili maana tulishamsoma alikuwa hapendi tuwe under anybody's control.

Sasa haya malezi yamenifanya mfano mie niwe less femine. I rarely see the difference between me and men zaidi ya sex. Swali langu ni kweli wababa wengi mnapenda mabinti zenu wawe na tabia za kiume? Kama ndio kwa nini? Je kuna binti ambae ameshapata same treatment toka kwa baba yake au mumewe ana treat binti zake hivi?

 

[afrodenzi]

Dahhh hii ni kweliKipindi kile cha nyuma Lakini sasa baba wengiWanapenda wanao wa kikeWAkue kwenye hali ya kikeNa wa kiume wakue kwenye hali ya kiume... Wanapenda kuwaonyesha wanao Wanaweza kuwa wasichana na kufanyaShughuli za kiume...Kuongezea kidogo watoto walio kuliaNa single parent mara nyingi huwa Wanastaili hizo pia.. na wengine ni tabia tu..

 

[Kiroroma]

Sasa hilo ni jambo la kujisifia na kufurahia?? Ku forge sex as If aliyekuumba alikosea.! UNATISHA ! Be your Age!!Wala usije ukajisifu kwa ujinga huo tena mlaumu sana babako kwa kukutenga na jinsia yako kwa kudhani anakujenga kumbe kakumaliza kijinsia! Hata hivyo namshangaa mama yako wakati wote hadi unageuzwa kuwa kama kaka zako alikuwa wapi.Madhara yake utayaona ukubwani,Hata hivyo haya uliyoyaleta hapa ni madhara mjumuisho bado yale reja reja.CHUNGA SANA[/COLOR][/SIZE]

 

[Mamamkwe]

Ni kweli baba yuko karibu na watoto wake wa kike.Mimi Mungu amenijaalia watoto wa kike anapokuwepo baba yao mimi sionekani kabisa,wala hawana mpango na mimi.Na mipango mizuri huwa inamhusisha baba yao.

 

[Tulizo]

Sasa hilo ni jambo la kujisifia na kufurahia?? Ku forge sex as If aliyekuumba alikosea.! UNATISHA ! Be your Age!!Wala usije ukajisifu kwa ujinga huo tena mlaumu sana babako kwa kukutenga na jinsia yako kwa kudhani anakujenga kumbe kakumaliza kijinsia! Hata hivyo namshangaa mama yako wakati wote hadi unageuzwa kuwa kama kaka zako alikuwa wapi.Madhara yake utayaona ukubwani,Hata hivyo haya uliyoyaleta hapa ni madhara mjumuisho bado yale reja reja.CHUNGA SANA[/COLOR][/SIZE]

In my view, Nadhani hukumwelewa mwenye hoja...Kumbuka nikimwambia kijana wangu "nataka uwe na nguvu kama Simba, si kwamba nataka awe Simba"

Sio siri wanawake wengi mnajiweka nyuma kutokana na tamaduni tulizowalea za kiafrika. Tamaduni nyingi za kiafrika zinamkandamiza na kumdhalilisha mwanamke. Mwanaume anachukuliwa ni mtu mwenye nguvu, mwenye kujiamini, mchachalikaji n.k Kwa mfano mwanaume ukioa halafu mke akawa anafanya kazi na wewe baba unalea watoto nyumbani kwa makabila mengi ni sawa na tusi .. Sasa kutokana na mtazamo huu, inapotokea mzazi akataka binti yake apigane na dhana hii potofu na ya kumnyonga mwanamke basi ili binti aelewe vizuri baba atasema ' nataka ushindane na uwe kama mwanaume".. Hapa baba hasemi anataka binti yake awe mwanaume au angependa awe mwanaume.. Baba anataka kumjenga binti kinyume na tamaduni zetu.. baba anataka mwanae ajikwamue toka tamaduni hizi potofu Ni sawa baba akisema nataka dume langu liwe na nguvu kama ya simba.. sio maana anataka mtoto wake wa kiume awe Simba..

Wanawake mnatakiwa muamuke na muwe kama mtoa mada hapo juu.. Mimi binafsi naamini hakuna tofauti kati ya mtoto wa kike na wa kiume..hata kama mimi kama mwanaume nimetokea kwenye tamaduni hizo..It is over! nataka mabinti zangu wawe ngangari..Sasa wewe unaye-support kudumazwa kwa wanawake wenzako shauri yako..

 

[Gaijin]

anataka nataka mabinti zangu wawe ngangari..Sasa wewe unaye-support kudumazwa kwa wanawake wenzako shauri yako..

Kwani msichana akilelewa kama msichana bila ya kuambiwa awe kama mwanamme hawezi kuwa ngangari?

Hiyo dhana ya kufikiria lazima mwanamke umlee kama mwanamme ndio utapata mwanamke anaejiamini imefungamana na mfumo dume big time.

 

[Chamoto]

baba atasema ' nataka ushindane na uwe kama mwanaume".. Hapa baba hasemi anataka binti yake awe mwanaume au angependa awe mwanaume..

Lakini kisaikolojia inamfanya binti aione jisia yake dhaifu kuliko ile ya kiume. Kwanini asiseme "nataka uzidi kuongeza bidii" hapo atakuwa anaongeza ubora wa kile anachokifanya kuliko kutaka kujilinganisha na fulani.

 

[Nanren]

Sasa hilo ni jambo la kujisifia na kufurahia?? Ku forge sex as If aliyekuumba alikosea.! UNATISHA ! Be your Age!!Wala usije ukajisifu kwa ujinga huo tena mlaumu sana babako kwa kukutenga na jinsia yako kwa kudhani anakujenga kumbe kakumaliza kijinsia! Hata hivyo namshangaa mama yako wakati wote hadi unageuzwa kuwa kama kaka zako alikuwa wapi.Madhara yake utayaona ukubwani,Hata hivyo haya uliyoyaleta hapa ni madhara mjumuisho bado yale reja reja.CHUNGA SANA[/COLOR][/SIZE]

Very immature!
Haya si majibu ya mtu mwenye busara.
Grow up, buddy!

 

[Tulizo]

Lakini kisaikolojia inamfanya binti aione jisia yake dhaifu kuliko ile ya kiume. Kwanini asiseme "nataka uzidi kuongeza bidii" hapo atakuwa anaongeza ubora wa kile anachokifanya kuliko kutaka kujilinganisha na fulani.

I agree with you Chamoto 100%.. lakini kumbuka ni muda gani na katika mazingira gani unasema hivyo.... Kama mtu ameshadumazwa na mila na taratibu hizo potovu hawezi kukuelewa ukisema ongeza bidiiii .. infact unaweza sema ongeza bidiii yeye akachukulia ongeza utii kwa mume ..kiasi kwamba mume akiingia ndani yeye atataka kulala chini ya sakafu na kulamba miguu....Kwa upande wa pili unaweza fanya hivyo kama utakuwa umeshajenga familia yako katika misingi ya usawa na upendo...hapo watoto wote umeshawajenga kisaikolojia kuwa sawa na pia umeshaonyesha kujali jinsia zao..yes.. go ahead make it direct "ongeza bidiii" ..

 

[Edo]

Jaamani maisha ni kupata kile ulichopanga wewe, japo mkakati unaotumika unaweza ukawa unaonekana kwa wengine una mapungufu. Kama faida ni nyingi kuliko hasara, inawezekana mzee aliona hizo hasara ni "manageable" ndio maana mtoa hoja anikiri yu ngangari kama babake alivyotaka. Binafsi nina mabinti na ninapenda wawe washindi kama watu wengine bila kujali wanashindana na jinsia gani.

 

[morio]

Dahhh hii ni kweliKipindi kile cha nyuma Lakini sasa baba wengiWanapenda wanao wa kikeWAkue kwenye hali ya kikeNa wa kiume wakue kwenye hali ya kiume... Wanapenda kuwaonyesha wanao Wanaweza kuwa wasichana na kufanyaShughuli za kiume...Kuongezea kidogo watoto walio kuliaNa single parent mara nyingi huwa Wanastaili hizo pia.. na wengine ni tabia tu..

I am dady's favourite kid na nalitambua hilo na ver proud of it, alinikuza like a man yaani kuwa I can do anything in this world with my three bros and one sisy, niliamini katika hilo na ninaishi katika hilo, ila inaniwia ngumu kumake meaningful relationships like marriage with men coz nawaona they can add nothing in my life than sex n headaches! I want to win every argument and kwa ofisi ni issue as bado mfumo dume unatawala, every thing nakifanya nafanya for my family i.e kids najiona kama baba wa familia as I can do every thing without the assistance of man ila issue inakuja bros wanakimbia wanakuoana kama mtashindana ndani! Sijaweza kuwa na 'shosti' yaani 99% of my i spend with men n i enjoy every bit of it coz kule twadiscuss maendeleo na b'ness tu siyo sijui unafanya hivi mume asitoke ndani! Naamini I will never be like a man coz I va uterus they dont av kuna extremes cant go as woman na kuna extreme they cant go as men tuna tofauti zetu n will never be same ila most issues we can do. Hate men wasio responsible like wanaotunzwa or ambao wako weak, will raise my girls to be like men so as to be able to survive in dis rough world ukiwa soft sana dunia inatake advantage kwako.

 

[morio]

Lakini kisaikolojia inamfanya binti aione jisia yake dhaifu kuliko ile ya kiume. Kwanini asiseme "nataka uzidi kuongeza bidii" hapo atakuwa anaongeza ubora wa kile anachokifanya kuliko kutaka kujilinganisha na fulani.

I beg to differ mkuu, tuliolelewa kwa style hiyo we are proud to be female with our unique features and adding up men's characters inatufanya tuwe more than a package! pata picha she can be woman and still some characters za kiume panatokea in between gender which is ver ver unique! I av friends like me yaani raised to act like men u cant get enough of them. Simaanishi kuwa female na kuwa raised like a female unakuwa not strong, ni kama ilivyo poa kuwa na rafiki gay anakuwa mwanamme mwenye kuact like woman! If u happen to associate with them they are ver different unique individuals though hawakubaliki katika jamii yetu.

 

[Rose1980]

Sasa hilo ni jambo la kujisifia na kufurahia?? Ku forge sex as If aliyekuumba alikosea.! UNATISHA ! Be your Age!!Wala usije ukajisifu kwa ujinga huo tena mlaumu sana babako kwa kukutenga na jinsia yako kwa kudhani anakujenga kumbe kakumaliza kijinsia! Hata hivyo namshangaa mama yako wakati wote hadi unageuzwa kuwa kama kaka zako alikuwa wapi.Madhara yake utayaona ukubwani,Hata hivyo haya uliyoyaleta hapa ni madhara mjumuisho bado yale reja reja.CHUNGA SANA[/COLOR][/SIZE]

du
ni asira? au kutoelewa hoja?

 

[Dr Lizzy]

I am dady's favourite kid na nalitambua hilo na ver proud of it, alinikuza like a man yaani kuwa I can do anything in this world with my three bros and one sisy, niliamini katika hilo na ninaishi katika hilo, ila inaniwia ngumu kumake meaningful relationships like marriage with men coz nawaona they can add nothing in my life than sex n headaches! I want to win every argument and kwa ofisi ni issue as bado mfumo dume unatawala, every thing nakifanya nafanya for my family i.e kids najiona kama baba wa familia as I can do every thing without the assistance of man ila issue inakuja bros wanakimbia wanakuoana kama mtashindana ndani! Sijaweza kuwa na 'shosti' yaani 99% of my i spend with men n i enjoy every bit of it coz kule twadiscuss maendeleo na b'ness tu siyo sijui unafanya hivi mume asitoke ndani! Naamini I will never be like a man coz I va uterus they dont av kuna extremes cant go as woman na kuna extreme they cant go as men tuna tofauti zetu n will never be same ila most issues we can do. Hate men wasio responsible like wanaotunzwa or ambao wako weak, will raise my girls to be like men so as to be able to survive in dis rough world ukiwa soft sana dunia inatake advantage kwako.

Sio lazima mtu alelewe/kuzwe kama mtoto wa kiume ili awe jasiri.Kuna wengine utaishia kuwashushia self-esteem na comfidence tu.Binafsi sikulelewa kama mtoto wa kiume...ila naamini kwamba ni jasiri sana na ujasiri wangu ni wa asili!Sikuhitaji kufundishwa wala kuambiwa fanya hili na lile ili uweze kupambana na watoto wa kiume/wanaume.So mlee mtoto wako vile unavyoona anaelekea....kwasababu tu hayo malezi yalifanikiwa kwako haina maana yatasaidia/kua na manufaa hata kwa kizazi chako kifuatacho!Boys will always be boys....and girls should be raised to be girls!Strong girls not girls with boys features.

 

[Gaijin]

Nimelelewa tokea mdogo kama mtoto wa kike na sijawahi kuambiwa niwe kama mwanamme hata siku moja.

Nikiwa mtoto wa kati baina ya wanaume wawili, nimelelewa kujiona kuwa ni "a little lady" and my brothers were taught to respect me like one too.

Sijawahi kukosa kujiamini, na sijawahi kujiona less of a woman, and I dont wish for that.

Anaefikiria mwanamke ni kuzungumza kuhusu "namna ya kumdhibiti mwanamme au kuwa submissive kwa mwanamme" tayari akilini mwake kuna mfumo dume.

 

[Kimey]

Nimelelewa tokea mdogo kama mtoto wa kike na sijawahi kuambiwa niwe kama mwanamme hata siku moja.

Nikiwa mtoto wa kati baina ya wanaume wawili, nimelelewa kujiona kuwa ni "a little lady" and my brothers were taught to respect me like one too.

Sijawahi kukosa kujiamini, na sijawahi kujiona less of a woman, and I dont wish for that.

Anaefikiria mwanamke ni kuzungumza kuhusu "namna ya kumdhibiti mwanamme au kuwa submissive kwa mwanamme" tayari akilini mwake kuna mfumo dume.

Mwalimu sie tulizoeshwa yaaki ukilia kidogo tu, mama lazima akutolee maneno "acha kudeka deka we ka mtoto wa kike"

 

[Nyamayao]

Sasa hilo ni jambo la kujisifia na kufurahia?? Ku forge sex as If aliyekuumba alikosea.! UNATISHA ! Be your Age!!Wala usije ukajisifu kwa ujinga huo tena mlaumu sana babako kwa kukutenga na jinsia yako kwa kudhani anakujenga kumbe kakumaliza kijinsia! Hata hivyo namshangaa mama yako wakati wote hadi unageuzwa kuwa kama kaka zako alikuwa wapi.Madhara yake utayaona ukubwani,Hata hivyo haya uliyoyaleta hapa ni madhara mjumuisho bado yale reja reja.CHUNGA SANA[/COLOR][/SIZE]

some pipo bwana, kama hujamuelewa c uulize?

 

[Gaijin]

Mwalimu sie tulizoeshwa yaaki ukilia kidogo tu, mama lazima akutolee maneno "acha kudeka deka we ka mtoto wa kike"

Hahaha Kimey .....mama was right for a guy kulia ovyo is not a good look. On the other hand, whenever I cried-for a reason of course- my mum will tell my brother to stop bothering me, and make sure I'm feeling better :] (It's so good to be a girl)

 

[Sumba-Wanga]

My husband treats my daughters as his precious girls. My mum used to love my brother very much!

One day I asked my mother why do you love my brother so much. She told me, that she is a woman and thus, she automatically loves my brother... probably the same applies to fathers and daughters...

Lakini, mimi naona ni vema baba akipenda wanae wote, hasa wa kike kwa kuwa wanahitaji guidance, bear in mid baba ni mwanaume mwenye uzoefu wa men's affairs.

Inapokuja swala la kumwambia binti yako awe ngangari kwenye maisha, that is funny. Inaweza kutokea hata kwa mama anapopenda sana mwanae wa kiume, effects zake hawezi kukubali mwanamke, atamtoa kasoro kucha, kwa kuwa mama yake ndio real model.

Nadhani tguwe careful na haya mambo. Too much of anything is harmful, hasa kwa wakwe zetu....

 

[AshaDii]

Jamani mimi kuna kitu nime notice. Kuna baba nasoma nae ni mganda mtu mzima sana alichelewa kuoa na ana watoto watatu, last born wake ana miaka minne. Huyu baba alikuwa anatuambia juzi kuwa yeye hataki kabisa kabinti kake kachezee mwanasesele. Anasema tena hivi yuko na kaka zake, anamnunulia magari, mipira na bastora achezee ili asiwe na tabia za kike. Nikakumbuka baba yangu alikuwa anatuambia angependa sana mtoto wake wa kwanza, dada yetu angekuwa mwanaume kwani alikuwa anampenda sana. Na si kuwa hatukuwa na kaka tulikuwa nao.

Na mimi nikakumbuka malezi nilopewa na baba yangu. Alikuwa hataki kabisa tuwe legelege kama wanawake. Kwa mfano alikuwa ananambia hamna mtu anayeweza kuni beat darasani kwani wanawake na wanaume wote ni sawa. Na kweli nilikuwa napata bichwa basi darasani was always perfoming wonders just to please my dady kwani those early days sikujua hata umuhimu wa kusoma. Na imenifanya hata nilipokuwa college undergraduate kuwashangaa sana wasichana wanavyobanana kwa wanaume kuomba msaada wa kufundishwa hata bila kujua viwango vyao vya uelewa. Yaani utakuta wote mko first year hamjajua bado nani kichwa lakini mabinti wanawaaminia wavulana kuwa ndio wenye akili kumbe kuna wadada wenye akili pia.

Kwa baba yangu ilikuwa hata kumwambia baba nimepata mchumba unafikiria mara mbili maana tulishamsoma alikuwa hapendi tuwe under anybody's control.

Sasa haya malezi yamenifanya mfano mie niwe less femine. I rarely see the difference between me and men zaidi ya sex. Swali langu ni kweli wababa wengi mnapenda mabinti zenu wawe na tabia za kiume? Kama ndio kwa nini? Je kuna binti ambae ameshapata same treatment toka kwa baba yake au mumewe ana treat binti zake hivi?

Umenikumbusha baba yangu NK... baba alikua ananipenda saaana but bahati mbaya saana
nilikua sijui... wazazi wetu walikua na policy ya no child being favoured kuliko mwingine
(which i came to know after his death baada ya mon ku admit...) Hivyo alipofariki my mom
baada ya arobaini aliniita na kuniambia Asha i want you to know baba yako alikua anakupenda Mno!
Hakuna siku toka umezaliwa hajakutaja even just before he slept...

Wakati niko 18 nilipata mimba ya Jerk fulani hivi (kipindi hicho the love of my life na cause of existence....)
nikiwa kama the only gal na nilikua ni wa chini chini - najua si vizuri kuadmit hii kitu but the tensions i GOT,
Naamini ningetoa ile mimba na the wonderful daughter i have would have been history.. in short
sikua na guts za kutoa hio mimba! Nililazimika kuwambia wazazi am getting married. Making the long story short
Siku naondoka (ya harusi... yaani naenda kwa mme...) Baba yangu alilia kama mtoto mdogo kwa kelele kubwa
mno na for almost 15 minutes... ilinibidi nirudishwe nikaongea nae for an hour.... (but still sikuja kua ananipenda.. i was so selfish!)