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Wasukuma njooni huku tujicheke

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by kilimasera, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. kilimasera

    kilimasera JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 2, 2011
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    Msukuma mmoja alibahatika kwenda zake Uingereza, baada ya kufika alishangaa uzuri wa mji na majengo ya kushangaza.

    Ili akirudi Tanzania awakonge wenzake kila alichokiona alitaka kujua kinamilikiwa na nani. Cha kwanza kuuliza kilikuwa kujua uwanja ule wa ndege unamilikiwa na nani. Alimuona Mzungu mmoja amesimama alimfuata na kumuuliza.

    “Eti uwanja huu wa ndege ni wa nani?”
    “Speak English,” Mzungu hakumuelewa na kumuomba azungumze Kiingereza.

    Jamaa baada ya kuelezwa vile aliondoka akiamini anayemiliki ule uwanja ni Speak English. Alipoondoka pale alikwenda hoteli moja kubwa na kuulizia ile ni ya nani, aliyemuuliza kwa Kiswahili hakumuelewa alimjibu “Speak English.”

    Kila kona alielezwa vile, basi jamaa aliporudi Tanzani aliamini Speak English ndiye tajiri mkubwa nchini Uingereza. Kila kona aliwaeleza jinsi kila kona alipouliza watu kuhusu mmiliki wa vitu vya thamani aliambiwa Speak English.

    Watu walimcheka na kumueleza Speak English siyo tajiri bali walimueleza azungumze Kiingereza kwa vile walikuwa hawamuelewi akizungumza kiswahili. Mmh, hii kali kujua lugha nako raha.
     
  2. Mabel

    Mabel JF-Expert Member

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    Hah ha, acha hayo bwana wasukuma tukofit kwenye ngeli japo tunaikandamiza!
     
  3. kilimasera

    kilimasera JF-Expert Member

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    sema mnapenda sana kuchunga ngombe man!
     
  4. Logo

    Logo JF-Expert Member

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    sina mbavu tena jaman, kama ungeelewa kuna msukuma mwingine alimsindikiza mwenzake stand ya treni bahati mbaya kuta treni ndo inaaanza muondoko wake wa polepole jamaa mmoja si akakimbia akawa amefanikiwa kuondoka, mwingine akaachwa! Alieachwa akacheka sana mpaka basi watu wakajaa wakamuuliza kwa nini unacheka wakati umeachwa? Akawaambia alieenda alikuwa anamsindikiza tu! Yeye ndo alipaswa kusafiri! du7h
     
  5. n

    ngoko JF-Expert Member

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    Ng'ombe Muhumu Sana. mengine baadaye.
     
  6. KIMICHIO

    KIMICHIO JF-Expert Member

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    halafu wengi mkono wa sweta au siyo?
     
  7. Gaga

    Gaga JF-Expert Member

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    mhhh mnatuonea
     
  8. M

    Mmwaminifu JF-Expert Member

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    :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:
     
  9. M

    Mmwaminifu JF-Expert Member

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    :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:
     
  10. Nazjaz

    Nazjaz JF-Expert Member

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    Wasukuma watakurushia mapembe ya ng'ombe zao kwa hasira wakisoma hii thread
     
  11. MUREFU

    MUREFU JF-Expert Member

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    duu! Kumbe wasukuma mazuzu hvyo na alienda kwa gia ya kuzibua vyoo nini uingeleza
     
  12. Sikonge

    Sikonge JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 3, 2011
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    Hii joke ni ya ovyo sana ya Kisukuma.

    Naona hufai kabisa kutoa JOKE maana kuanzia mwanzo tu unafahamu itaishia wapi.

    Maadamu umesema Wasukuma ni Wachungaji ng'ombe basi soma hii ya huyu Mchungaji:

    Mchungaji mmoja wa ng'ombe na huku akiwa ndiye mwenye hao ng'ombe, alienda kwenye mnada maarufu wa ng'ombe pale Pugu na kuwauza ng'ombe wake wote aliotaka kama behewa moja. Aliamua kwenda Dar na pesa kuziweka Bank. Alibakiza kwa matumizi yake ya kawaida wakati akiwa pale Dar. Jioni alienda kupata moja baridi na nyama choma na akiwa hapo akaja dada mmoja akakaa na mazungumzo yakaanza:

    Dada: Habari yako kaka? Naona sura ngeni hapa, wewe ni mwenyeji wa hapa?

    Mchungaji(Mdemi) aka Ngosha: Nzuri sana. Mie ni mchungaji na mfugaji wa ng'ombe kutoka Ushirombo. Nipo hapa kibiashara.

    Dada: Sasa umejuaje kuwa wewe ni Mchungaji au kama ulivyosema wewe kwa Kisukuma , wewe ni Mdemi?

    Mchungaji: Nikiamka nyumbani, huwa naenda kwenye zizi kuangalia kama ng'ombe wazima. Baadaye nawapeleka kuchunga, narudi kukamua maziwa, nawapeleka kunywa maji, nawafanyia matibabu ya kila aina, kuzalisha .......... Hii ndiyo ilinifanya niamini kuwa mie ni MCHUNGAJI. Na wewe mwenzangu?

    Dada: Mie ni Lesbian. Nikiamka nawaza Mwanamke, nikienda kazini nawaza mwanamke, ninapopika, mwanamke ....... mwanamke.

    Yule dada na Mchungaji wakanywa bia moja moja na dada akaaga.

    Baada ya dakika tano, akaja jamaa na kukaa na Ngosha Mchungaji:

    Jamaa: Habari yako. Mie naitwa James, mwalimu wa Secondary Forodhani. Mwenzangu ni nani?

    Mchungaji:
    Naitwa Ng'inki. Hadi dakika tano zilizopita, nilikuwa nafahamu kuwa mie ni Mchungaji, ila sasa nimejua kuwa mie ni Lesbian.
     
  13. hashycool

    hashycool JF-Expert Member

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    khaaa...mi abdallah kichwa wazi....
     
  14. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Hehehehehehehehehehehe, mbavu zangu jamani
    Yaani kwa kuwa dada lesbian muda wote anawaza wanawake basi Msukuma kwa kuwa naye anawaza wanawake basi ka-conclude kuwa yeye ni lesbian...
     
  15. Sikonge

    Sikonge JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu, huwa ni kasheshe sana hii lugha.

    Wengine Kiswahili tunajifunzia shuleni na nyumbani ni Kinyamwezi tu.

    Usishangae kumuona kijana wa Kiume anamaliza Primary School na kutamba "nimevunja ungo......."
     
  16. aye

    aye JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 7, 2011
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    mhh
     
  17. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Jamani msiwaponde wasukuma mi nawapenda sana.
     
  18. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #18
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Hii kali!
     
  19. Chizi Fureshi

    Chizi Fureshi JF-Expert Member

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    Shauri zenu! Endeleen kutusukumia kila aina ya maneno,lakini kumbukeni ukimsukuma msukuma atakusukuma kwa msukumo wa kisukuma.
     
  20. c

    chelenje JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 7, 2011
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    the rock city ndo kwe2,karibuni
     
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