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Wapenzi wakutane kimwili kwa wiki mara ngapi

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Oct 31, 2012.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 31, 2012
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
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    Kwa wiki nzima nimekuwa nakusanya mawazo, kutoka kwa wapenzi mbali mbali ambao walikuwa wananisaidia uchunguzi wangu juu ya namna wanavyoshiriki tendo la ndoa na kulidhika.

    Wengi kati ya hao kwa kiwango tofauti cha kuanzia mara tatu na kuendelea waliniambia kuwa hawatosheki na viwango hivyo na kuliacha swali kubaki kuwa wapenzi wakutane mara ngapi kwa wiki ili watosheke?

    Jibu la swali hili linapatikana baada ya kutambua kitu kimoja muhimu, nacho ni chanzo cha kutosheka hasa nini? Katika hali ya kawaida kutosheka kupo zaidi akilini na wala si mwilini, hii ina maana kwamba watu wanaodhani

    kuupa mwili mahitaji zaidi kadiri unavyodai ni njia ya kuutosheleza wanajidanganya, kwa sababu tamaa ya mwili haitoki mwilini bali kwenye akili ya mtu.

    Kwa msingi huo mtu akitaka kutosheka na penzi la mpenzi wake, ni lazima kwanza aitosheleze akili yake na kile anachopata, zoezi ambalo atalifikia kwa kutathimini uwezo wake wa kufanya mapenzi na wa mpenzi wake.

    Wengi kati ya watu wanaodai hawatosheki kimapenzi ni wale wanaoziachia akili zao zitake tendo la ndoa zaidi, bila kuangalia uwezo, nafasi, hisia na afya yao ya kukutana kimwili.

    Nikijibu swali la ni mara ngapi wapenzi wakutane kimwili ili watosheke nitasema hivi: KUTOSHEKA HAKUNA IDADI, bali ni kwa kila mmoja kulidhika na mwenza wake kutoka ndani ya akili yake. Kama hapa sikueleweka vizuri katika jibu hilo, maana yangu hasa ni kwamba kutosheka ni namna mtu mwenyewe anavyoyaendesha mawazo yake.

    Ukiyaendesha mawazo yako kufanya mapenzi mara kwa mara, hutatosheka hata ukipewa kila saa, kwa sababu fikra zako unazijenga zaidi ya unachopata. Uchunguzi unaonesha kuwa watu ambao akili zao zimejaa

    mawazo ya ngono, hawawezi kulala bila kufanya mapenzi, lakini watu hao hao, ukiwapa matatizo yatakayochukua sehemu kubwa ya mawazo yao kwa mfano, kuwafunga jela, kuwafukuza kazi, kupata msiba, utashangaa wanaweza kukata wiki bila kusumbuliwa na tamaa ya ngono.

    Hii ina maana kwamba unavyowaza ndivyo unavyotenda. Kitaalamu kinachofanya mapenzi ni mawazo, ndiyo maana wapo wanaojichua wenyewe kwa kutumia mawazo yao na kupata raha. Kila mmoja akijenga heshima juu ya fikra zake na kujali hisia zaidi tutakuwa na watu wengi wanaofurahia tendo la ndoa bila kujali wanalipata mara ngapi kwa wiki.

    Uchunguzi wangu umebaini kuwa watu wengi hasa wapenzi wa siku nyingi na wanandoa, wanafanya mapenzi kwa sababu tu wamepata nafasi ya kuwa pamoja, lakini si kwa kuheshimu fikra na hisia zao, jambo ambalo husababisha ladha ya mapenzi kuwa ya asilimia ndogo, ukilinganisha na mahitaji halisi ya mawazo yao.

    Upo ushahidi wa kutosha kwa wanandoa wengi kupata msisimko mdogo wanapokuwa na waume/wake zao katika tendo la ndoa tofauti na wanapopata wasaa wa kusaliti ndoa kwa hawara zao.
    Watu wa aina hii wasiseme kuwa hawatosheki na tendo la ndoa kwa sababu wanakutana na wapenzi wao

    mara chache zaidi, bali wanakutana katika mhemko wa chini usioweza kulifanya tendo hilo kuwa na raha ya kutosha.
    Labda msomaji wangu utaniuliza, tatizo la kupata msisimko mdogo kwa mtu unayemzoea linachangiwa na nini? Jibu litakuwa ni MAWAZO ya mtu mwenyewe.

    Ukichunguza utagundua kuwa, wapenzi wengi hasa wazoefu huwa hawapeani nafasi katika mawazo, kamawanavyotoa nafasi kwa wapenzi wa pembeni, hili ndilo tatizo linalopunguza msisimko wa kimapenzi na kuondoa hali ya kutosheka na penzi. Kama mtu anataka mpenzi wake amtosheleze, basi hana budi kumkuzia

    mwenza wake hisia kiasi cha kumtamani. Niulize swali, hivi ni mara ngapi wewe unayesema hutosheki na penzi ulishakaa peke yako ukamvutia taswira mpenzi wao kabla hajarudi nyumbani kiasi cha kupata msisimko wa kutana naye kimwili?

    Wengi wetu hatufanyi hivyo, hatuna vitu vinavyotuvutia kwa wake/waume zetu, jambo ambalo hutufanya tukikutana nao kimwili kwa kutimiza desturi tu na kubaki na kiu zetu za penzi. Lakini uweli unabaki kuwa wapenzi wakikutana kipindi cha msisimko mkubwa na kupeana mahaba kwa usahihi hata ikiwa ni mara moja kwa wiki watatosheka.

    Jambo kubwa la kuzingatia hapa ni kwamba wakati mwingine msisimko huo huwa hauwatokei wapenzi kwa wakati mmoja, hivyo ni jukumu lao kushirikiana pindi mmoja anapokuwa katika hali hiyo.
     
  2. Elli

    Elli JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 31, 2012
    Joined: Mar 17, 2008
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    Nadhani pia inategemea na aina ya kazi mnazofanya, let say unaishi Mbezi mwisho, unarudi usiku na unatoka usiku, sidhani kama hio ya HAMU ya kila siku itakuepo, binafsi huwa napenda kuwa muwazi, HATUNA FIXED Timetable. Japo huwa sipendelei wageni waje kwangu weekend (to be honest) maana ndio muda ambao huwa tunautumia ipasavyo. Sisemi kwa nia mbaya bali kwajili ya kujifunza, huwa tunarudi jioni wote tumechoka, kwa mfano, muda huu tayari niko job, usiku mtoto alikua anumwa so hatukulala vizuri, itabidi jioni tukirudi tulale labda mapema kidogo......kweli kuna mtu atakua na hamu na mwenzie mara ngapi kwa wiki?

    In some cases, hua tunalala na "natural suits" ambayo pengine huwa inatusaidia siku moja moja kupata japo "kikombe" kimoja au viwili mida ya asubuhi asubuhi au mida ya saa nne usiku kama tutakua tumelala mapema. Haya nimekuwa mkweli, sema na wewe ya kwako
     
  3. KV LONDON

    KV LONDON JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Uko sawa kabisa', the way wapenz wanavyocontrol mawazo yao kimapenzi ndiyo njia mojawapo yakuwafanya waridhike' ila wengi hawalitambui hlo wanafanya mapenzi kwa mazoea tu'
     
  4. Mr Rocky

    Mr Rocky JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Asante sana MziziMkavu
    Mara ngapi nafikiri hiyo ni kati ya wapendanao kuamua maana hata kama ni kila siku au mara mbili kwa kila siku inategemea na vile vile inategemea kama wapenzi wanaridhika na kile kitendo na wanakifanya na kama wanakubaliana wao wenyewe kufanya hayo
    Maana kukutana na mwenzako kila siku wakati mmoja wao anatoka hajaridhika hilo nalo ni kosa jingine
    haijalishi mmekutana mara ngapi kwa wiki ila je kila mmoja anaridhika na kile kitendo au umefanya tuu kwa kuwa mmoja ana hamu basi anatimiza wajibu wake anaondoka bila kuangalia upande wa pili unaridhika
    So hata kama ni mara moja ila ya kuridhishana na kila mmoja akatoka anasifu kilichofanyika hakuna mbaya
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  5. Pdidy

    Pdidy JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 31, 2012
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    samahani unaongelea wapenzi gani
    hata wazinzi nao ni wapenzi m ntajibu kwa wapenzi wanaondoa kama ni hao nijibu niendelee
    ila kwa hiyo mangubengube aku sina cha kujibu
     
  6. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Kila siku mzee unatakiwa kukamua bao tatu.........................!:glasses-nerdy:
     
  7. kazikubwa

    kazikubwa JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Huwezi kupata jibu sahihi kwa mambo yanayohusu mtazamo. Kupima kutosheka is subjective, no one can come with a conclusive answer. Ni maelewano na makubaliano ya wapenzi husika. Cha muhimu ni kuongea na kuhakikisha kuwa mnatoshelezana. La sivyo, tutajaza comments za utashi tu.
     
  8. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

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    Mara kila inapohitajika na kila mnavyoweza.
     
  9. smallvile

    smallvile JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 31, 2012
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    umesema vema hakuna kutosheka, kutosheka ni kiakili, kimawazo, it's more a psychological than physical
    unajua wengine wanapenda, wengine wanaridhika, wengine wameweka mapenzi kipau mbele, wengine mapenzi ni part, inategemea pia na kazi za watu, wengine wakirudi wamechoka tena wanarudi late, wengine wana matatizo ya afya zao wameridhika na hali zao, in short kila mtu na kuridhika kwake, ila mapenzi ni afya kwa wana ndoa, ni kama ILIVO KUNYONYESHA MTOTO HUWA HATUHESABU MARA NGAPI MTOTO ANYONYE ETI,,,
    pata pale unapohitaji, ilimradi mazingira na afya inaruhusu kwenu ninyi wote wawili Mungu abariki hili tendo kwa wenye ndo
     
  10. ram

    ram JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Jamani Mzizimkavu hizi thread zako! wengine tunaishi boarder to boarder, tunakutana kwa msimu
     
  11. Bitabo

    Bitabo JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Nakubaliana na swala la akili ndo hujenga hisia nafanya mapenzi na mume wangu vizuri tena kila siku na inakua poa mara zote namkumbuka hata akiwa mbali nami nampenda sana.
     
  12. The Don

    The Don JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Kama kipo kitumike ukikosa juta,mambo ya ratiba wapi na wapi? Wanandoa sharti walale kama mbuzi yani ndo heshima
     
  13. Fasouls

    Fasouls JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 31, 2012
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    Kifupi kumbe ni kwamba haijarishi unafanya mara ngapi? Kwa siku,wiki au mwaka what matter ni je unaridhika? Swali hilo kumbe halina jibu, ila je itachukua muda gani kutoka kuridhika mpaka kupata hamu? Jibu ni palepale Hisia! Kumbe unaweza ridhika mda flani baada ya muda ukahitaji tena ukajikuta unafanya ata mara saba kwa siku! Mapenzi ni confusion tu!
     
  14. Uliza_Bei

    Uliza_Bei JF-Expert Member

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    Oct 31, 2012
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    Roho inataka lakini mwili ni dhaifu......
     
  15. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 31, 2012
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    MziziMkavu, yaani leo umenikuna kunako lol! sasa hapa naomba kwanza niulize hili ni jukwaa gani vile???? nisije kukuta uzi umepelekwa ;lokapu.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Oct 31, 2012
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    kadiri muda,fursa,nafasi,akili,hisia zitakavoruhusu!
     
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