Wanna be Loved ?; Then Use what you Have.

[AshaDii]

Sun nimependa ujumbe wako..... If only it was that simple.....

 

[AshaDii]

Mi sijui kanipendea nini nikiendeleze. Ngoja nimuulize

Niece mzima dear? Nimekumiss.... (nikupe umbea? Alisema anapenda the whole of you...lol)

 

[sun wu]

@sun wu, upo tayari kumpoteza mpenzi wako kwa sababu amekukataza kufanya jambo ambalo linawezekanika kuacha?
Mfano, kama unapenda kuchati na marafiki tangu utotoni ina maana huwezi kuacha kisa tu ulikuwa wafanya hivyo tangu utoto?

Nipo tayari kufanya sacrifice yoyote kwa ajili ya furaha ya mpenzi wangu.., ila on the same token sipo tayari kumfanya mpenzi wangu aache chochote ambacho najua kinampa furaha... (na issue ya kukatazana kufanya hiki au kile naona ni some sort of control ambayo inaweza kuleta ugomvi.., anyway mimi mwenyewe taacha vile vitu ambavyo najua ni karaha kwa mwenzangu bila hata kukatazwa...)

Ila nakupa mfano unadhani itakuwa sawa kama mtu kama whitney au J.Lo au Star yoyote nikimpata ila kutokana na wivu wangu au sababu nipo reserved unadhani ni haki nimwambia aache kuimba au kufanya show.

Ndio maana nikasema kuanzia mwanzo inabidi tuwe wawazi na kuwa real you and not someone else..., sasa kama wewe tangia mwanzo anajua ni mtu wa kupiga domo na soga na majirani na ndivyo alikukuta kwanini leo atake ubadilike...?

 

[Kongosho]

kama avatar ya YM???

mimi dume lakini eti nina macho mazuri,najitaidi kukodoa nisionekane hivo.lakini wapi demu unisifia macho si uboya huu.

 

[sun wu]

mimi dume lakini eti nina macho mazuri,najitaidi kukodoa nisionekane hivo.lakini wapi demu unisifia macho si uboya huu.

ha ha haa mkuu sikujua kama wanaume huwa wanasifiwa macho mazuri anyway in case ya mwanaume sidhani kama kurembua ni jambo la busara am sure kuna qualities kibao mkuu, hekima, busara, usikivu, uvimulivu n.k. uzuri nyingine tunaweza kujifunza and as time goes on it becomes our second nature

 

[sun wu]

Sun nimependa ujumbe wako..... If only it was that simple.....

What's so hard about it.., kutumia kile ulichonacho kwa faida yako na ya mwenza wako.., after all if you have it it comes as second nature.., si unaona hata nyie kina dada kama kuna some part of your body unaipenda sana na inavutia unakuta watu wanaionyesha (its like if you have good feet kwanini uvifunike na viatu.., just wear open shoes...) Flaunt what you have..,

 

[AshaDii]

What's so hard about it.., kutumia kile ulichonacho kwa faida yako na ya mwenza wako.., after all if you have it it comes as second nature.., si unaona hata nyie kina dada kama kuna some part of your body unaipenda sana na inavutia unakuta watu wanaionyesha (its like if you have good feet kwanini uvifunike na viatu.., just wear open shoes...) Flaunt what you have..,

Hapa unaeleza as if mahusiano na mapenzi ni kama vile 1 + 1 = 2. Kila mwanadamu ana tabia zake; na pale unapovutiwa na mtu ni lazima kuna mambo yatakuvutia kwake.... Ingawa kuna yale ambayo aweza kua nayo usiyapende/yasikupendeze. Na ndio maana kuna kitu kinaitwa compromise.... Huwezi sababu tu wapenda vuta sigara basi uvute sigara hata chumbani kwa mpenzi wako na hali wajua hapendi ule moshi na wamletea side effects kama head ache. Asipolalama.... it is Ok (maana you can not guess) Ila inapotokea huyo mpenzi wako kagusia (hata kama sio kulalamika) kua hicho kitu cha muumiza; You compromise.... you smoke, but not necessarily in the same room.

 

[AshaDii]

kama avatar ya YM???

Kongosho mzima wewe? Unasemaje dear hapa? lol. Maana you have the advantage of dating both sides....

 

[sun wu]

Hapa unaeleza as if mahusiano na mapenzi ni kama vile 1 + 1 = 2. Kila mwanadamu ana tabia zake; na pale unapovutiwa na mtu ni lazima kuna mambo yatakuvutia kwake.... Ingawa kuna yale ambayo aweza kua nayo usiyapende/yasikupendeze. Na ndio maana kuna kitu kinaitwa compromise.... Huwezi sababu tu wapenda vuta sigara basi uvute sigara hata chumbani kwa mpenzi wako na hali wajua hapendi ule moshi na wamletea side effects kama head ache. Asipolalama.... it is Ok (maana you can not guess) Ila inapotokea huyo mpenzi wako kagusia (hata kama sio kulalamika) kua hicho kitu cha muumiza; You compromise.... you smoke, but not necessarily in the same room.

Exactly compromise is a must na kama umenisoma nimesema kwamba I will never do anything to hurt the one I love au kumyima furaha...

Ila my point is use what you have.... use your good qualities., sasa kama una sauti nzuri kama wimbo, kwanini usimsemeshe mwenza wako na kumbembeleza.., kama your best quality ni kwenye macho muangalia kwa upendo.., kama ni mcheshi ongea nae na mcheke kwa furaha.., sasa hayo mengine ni negatives (ambayo unakuta couples wakiwa wote ndio wanayatumia..., mfano kulalamika.., kutukanana, na kununiana) all these are bad qualities na wanasahau zile tabasamu.

Ila nikasema don't compromise on what might change who you are.., Never change the real Ashadii for someone else, or maybe kuacha your dreams just to please someone or maybe your career.., because you will end up hating yourself and him/her for it

 

[Husninyo]

Niece mzima dear? Nimekumiss.... (nikupe umbea? Alisema anapenda the whole of you...lol)

mi mzima aunt, nimekumiss sana..
Ahsante kwa umbea, mi nimemuuliza anadai hata hajielewi ananipendea nini ila inadai kafa kaoza. Lol!

 

[AshaDii]

Exactly compromise is a must na kama umenisoma nimesema kwamba I will never do anything to hurt the one I love au kumyima furaha...

Ila my point is use what you have.... use your good qualities., sasa kama una sauti nzuri kama wimbo, kwanini usimsemeshe mwenza wako na kumbembeleza.., kama your best quality ni kwenye macho muangalia kwa upendo.., kama ni mcheshi ongea nae na mcheke kwa furaha.., sasa hayo mengine ni negatives (ambayo unakuta couples wakiwa wote ndio wanayatumia..., mfano kulalamika.., kutukanana, na kununiana) all these are bad qualities na wanasahau zile tabasamu.

Ila nikasema don't compromise on what might change who you are.., Never change the real Ashadii for someone else, or maybe kuacha your dreams just to please someone or maybe your career.., because you will end up hating yourself and him/her for it

Taking for granted you are a Man.... (If I am wrong sorry) Naamini kua hadi umeandika hii kitu hapa haija evolve from nowhere or out of thought.... Naamini kua maybe umeona mtu wako yupo hivo or mtu wa karibu unaemfahamu yupo hivo. Hapa naeleza haya kupelekea kwenye kiini cha matatizo mengi ya mahusiano.... Na hio ni "Communication Breakdown"; Wanawake mara nyingi wapo mbele sana kutaka jua if there is a problem na hata kueleza pale ambapo aonaona kama vile sio kawaida. Ila Sun naomba nijibu genuinely.... Ni wanaume wangapi huweza wambia wapenzi wao directly kitu kama hiki ambacho you have posted? Labda unisaidie wewe.... Kwamba ni woga wa lolote kama kuogopa kumuumiza? Ama kwamba unakua you don't give a damn?

Kuhusu kuchange.... Siwezi ongopa.... Nikiwa na Mpenzi wangu Jana ama leo, nita compromise tokana na the way yeye atataka (kuna mipaka); nitaangalia hio compromise kua hainibadilishi ila inanipa furaha na Amani. Na in Love... I am never scared to Look stupid..... I do have my limits thou..... Na mtu sometimes it is beta kua hivo (stupid) for as long as you can kumpa mwenzio nafasi ya kuweza sawazisha what ever it is that is eating him up! For naamini kua hadi nikamchagua, he is Man enough at the end of the day to "Man Up" kuniambia the reality rather than leading me on kuona all is good kumbe anakwazika big time... Hata tu my presence yamchefua....

 

[AshaDii]

mi mzima aunt, nimekumiss sana..
Ahsante kwa umbea, mi nimemuuliza anadai hata hajielewi ananipendea nini ila inadai kafa kaoza. Lol!

Miss you more my fav niece.... Unaonaje weekend hii ukaja na Mwali na spend the weekend home? Niatamwambia ankal wenu atafurahi saana.

Kuhusu yeye kutojitambua..... I know dear.... Na ni dhahiri kwa kila mtu kafa kaoza! lol. Una bahati sana kupata mtu wa namna hio dear.... Usimuachie. Best of Luck.....

 

[sun wu]

Taking for granted you are a Man.... (If I am wrong sorry) Naamini kua hadi umeandika hii kitu hapa haija evolve from nowhere or out of thought.... Naamini kua maybe umeona mtu wako yupo hivo or mtu wa karibu unaemfahamu yupo hivo.

Yes am a man Ashadii.., mhh kuandika hivi sio kwamba imenitokea ila I was just thinking.., why do we fall in love.., and if it was all about beauty and people are saying the likes of J. Lo and Halle Berry are the most beautiful why don't I fall for them.., why don't they do anything for me..., that's what got me thinking kwamba love is a package..., mtu anakupenda kutokana na wewe ulivyo, and there are things which only Ashadii can provide (good things) kwahio I thought why not use our good qualities.., kama nilikupenda upole wako basi usijebadilika kuwa mgomvi.., so instead of trying to be someone else (kama mke wa jirani au kuiga tabia za fulani maybe we can work out on bettering ourselves). Flaunt what we have smile and enjoy life.. and if someone really cares maybe he can join on our happiness.., hivi haujaona watu wanampendea mtu sababu mapepe au sababu amecharuka.. (huoni kutaka kumbadilisha huyu mapepe kuwa kama mtawa ni kama kumkata mabawa ndege)

Ila Sun naomba nijibu genuinely.... Ni wanaume wangapi huweza wambia wapenzi wao directly kitu kama hiki ambacho you have posted? Labda unisaidie wewe.... Kwamba ni woga wa lolote kama kuogopa kumuumiza? Ama kwamba unakua you don't give a damn?

Men we don't normally like talking about ourselves or showing any weaknesses, we might like talking about issues lakini not showing or talking about our emotions (different from women) lakini am sure kama a partner ukiwa more than just a lover but a friend as well maybe a man can really let you inside even though I think he would prefer talking about the new series "Person of Interest" or "Fringe." or how "Lost" lost the plot..., or how Arsenal deserves to win the League

 

[Husninyo]

Miss you more my fav niece.... Unaonaje weekend hii ukaja na Mwali na spend the weekend home? Niatamwambia ankal wenu atafurahi saana.

Kuhusu yeye kutojitambua..... I know dear.... Na ni dhahiri kwa kila mtu kafa kaoza! lol. Una bahati sana kupata mtu wa namna hio dear.... Usimuachie. Best of Luck.....

cousin mwali yupo busy kuna mambo anafatilia. Nitajitahidi nije ingawa na mi nimebanwa. Huyo mkweo simuachi, kadri siku zinavyoenda ndio nazidi kuoza na mimi! Lol. Nikija nitakupa umbea zaidi.

 

[AshaDii]

Yes am a man Ashadii.., mhh kuandika hivi sio kwamba imenitokea ila I was just thinking.., why do we fall in love.., and if it was all about beauty and people are saying the likes of J. Lo and Halle Berry are the most beautiful why don't I fall for them.., why don't they do anything for me..., that's what got me thinking kwamba love is a package..., mtu anakupenda kutokana na wewe ulivyo, and there are things which only Ashadii can provide (good things) kwahio I thought why not use our good qualities.., kama nilikupenda upole wako basi usijebadilika kuwa mgomvi.., so instead of trying to be someone else (kama mke wa jirani au kuiga tabia za fulani maybe we can work out on bettering ourselves). Flaunt what we have smile and enjoy life.. and if someone really cares maybe he can join on our happiness.., hivi haujaona watu wanampendea mtu sababu mapepe au sababu amecharuka.. (huoni kutaka kumbadilisha huyu mapepe kuwa kama mtawa ni kama kumkata mabawa ndege)

Thank God you are a Man... Nitapata majibu... Sun usichoke.... I am really interested na perspective zako thou typically male (kant complain). Hapo nime bold.... For instance it has happened to you... Do you tell her? And if you do.... Do you think yeye ni mtoto mdogo na hana ufikiri akachange tu out of impulse? Kwamba mawazo yako ndio absolute yake mapungufu as in the reasons of changing? Je unadiriki kujitazama in the mirror kujua wewe umechangia vipi yeye kuchange? Remember.... She sincerely Loves you.... Unalitambua hilo yet she has changed; na Ironically on a woman's perspective I bet she thinks you have changed too....

Men we don't normally like talking about ourselves or showing any weaknesses, we might like talking about issues lakini not showing or talking about our emotions (different from women) lakini am sure kama a partner ukiwa more than just a lover but a friend as well maybe a man can really let you inside even though I think he would prefer talking about the new series "Person of Interest" or "Fringe." or how "Lost" lost the plot..., or how Arsenal deserves to win the League

Hapa ndio narudi pale pale.... Communication barrier.... If you don't talk how will she know? Zaidi atabaki tu ana guess labda hiki, labda kile.... How will she know? For in the long run waweza kuta hata akawa desperate hadi ikawa kero (tokana na woga wake tu kua she is going to lose him kwa kitu anaweza rekebisha).

 

[AshaDii]

cousin mwali yupo busy kuna mambo anafatilia. Nitajitahidi nije ingawa na mi nimebanwa. Huyo mkweo simuachi, kadri siku zinavyoenda ndio nazidi kuoza na mimi! Lol. Nikija nitakupa umbea zaidi.

Niliposoma tu comment siku moja kua huwezi muacha aki cheat.... Nikajua usha pevuka, na umekufa Umeoza! lol. I am so proud of you, huko nyuma you wouldn't have condoned na hilo ndio ulisimamia. Shangazi yako naweza nisiseme mengi ila nimeona mengi na naendelea kuona.

Ujitahidi uje bana si wajua bado nina haki ya kukuchapa?

 

[sun wu]

I am really interested na perspective zako thou typically male (kant complain). Hapo nime bold.... For instance it has happened to you... Do you tell her? And if you do.... Do you think yeye ni mtoto mdogo na hana ufikiri akachange tu out of impulse? Kwamba mawazo yako ndio absolute yake mapungufu as in the reasons of changing? Je unadiriki kujitazama in the mirror kujua wewe umechangia vipi yeye kuchange? Remember.... She sincerely Loves you.... Unalitambua hilo yet she has changed; na Ironically on a woman's perspective I bet she thinks you have changed too....

You know people don't just change for better or worse kuna sababu zinazosababisha hivyo.., na hapa sijaongelea on a female au male perspective lakini on an individual perspective.., lets just say mtu alikuwa mcheshi na mchangamfu (lakini kutokana na partner wake kutokumpenda au mauzi yake) inapelekea anakuwa mtu wa huzuni na depressed..(now that's where my points come to play.., don't ever let anything change who you are for worse.., kama hakupendi au anakutesa shida zake jitahidi zisireflect kukubadilisha wewe. If you had a body to die for na ulikuwa unajipenda kujiweka smart, maudhi au kuwa mama wa nyumbani kusibadilishe hayo...

Remember tusisubiri mpaka mwenza wetu atuambie kwamba hapa unakosea au unachemsha (sometimes people are just looking at the outcomes and not the causes), and sometimes maneno ya siku hizi umebadilika au siku hizi haupo kama zamani will just lead to more arguments (sidhani qualities zako ambazo umekuwa nazo na unazifanya all your life, na umeziacha sababu ya mauzi ya mwenza wako can be solved just by the a dialogue), lazima deep down kuna mauzi ambayo can be anything sasa kuliko wewe kuingia shimoni sababu mwenza wako anaingia ni bora ukabakia nje ili uweze kumvuta...

Hapa ndio narudi pale pale.... Communication barrier.... If you don't talk how will she know? Zaidi atabaki tu ana guess labda hiki, labda kile.... How will she know? For in the long run waweza kuta hata akawa desperate hadi ikawa kero (tokana na woga wake tu kua she is going to lose him kwa kitu anaweza rekebisha).

Remember hapa siongolei anayofanya yeye yanayoniuzi mimi yaani kumwambia aache kuyafanya.., bali naongelea yeye kuacha ule uhalisia wake na mambo yake mazuri (yaani Ashadii wa zamani) sababu maybe ya matatizo yangu.., of course siwezi kumwambia maybe because am the problem, am the cause of her unhappiness, am the cause she is moody.., Ila point yangu ni kwamba if everyone aki-fight his corner kutokumuuzi mwenza mwake maybe migongano itapungua. Na kama mimi siwezi kubadilika na ninaendelea na mauzi.., wewe kubadilika na kuwa moody hakusaidii and maybe wewe ukiendelea kuwa mcheshi mwisho wa siku tajiona mjinga and I will grow up.., because I will be fighting with someone who is not fighting but just loving.. (at the same time you will remain to be yourself)

 

[AshaDii]

Sun wu..... Like you said; hio ni Individuals Perspective....

Napenda you postulations on the matter.... ni Almost "Perfect" Ila I repeat..... It is not that simple kama unavodhania (And I know you know exactly what I mean). Na I hope haya ambayo waongea hapa jamvini ndio hasa the way wayatenda. Maana guys mara nyingi are really good at explaining indirectly or at his Lady's back rather than the front... Wanakua na maelezo mazuri ambayo Mpenziwe angesikia ingekua of Great help; ila mbele yake ajifanya "guys can not explain"

Na that is why wanaojikuta katika hio situation it is so hard on/for them. Cha ajabu pande zoote zaumia; Ila hapo ndio swali linabaki... Is it worth it? Unajuaje kua you are not wasting time na kwamba you should move on.... Uumie in whatever way na time iwe days/weeks na months but atleast you have hope you are heading katika uponaji..... Unabaki na hope; hope kua things will be back to normal untill one side runs it over sometimes hadi the person in question briefly ana lose dignity. Sad.

Adios amigo sun.

 

[sun wu]

Napenda you postulations on the matter.... ni Almost "Perfect" Ila I repeat..... It is not that simple kama unavodhania (And I know you know exactly what I mean). Na I hope haya ambayo waongea hapa jamvini ndio hasa the way wayatenda. Maana guys mara nyingi are really good at explaining indirectly or at his Lady's back rather than the front...
Wanakua na maelezo mazuri ambayo Mpenziwe angesikia ingekua of Great help; ila mbele yake ajifanya "guys can not explain"

Ofcourse its never simple and never easy especially trying to change someone, Most of the time we do mistakes not because we dont know they are mistakes or we dont love our partners we just do them.., that's why I said instead of hoping someone would change, or trying to change someone.., just do what is in your power (and this wont even need sacrifices) just be yourself.., usipoteze mazuri yako bali yaweke in the open for all to see.

Na that is why wanaojikuta katika hio situation it is so hard on/for them. Cha ajabu pande zoote zaumia; Ila hapo ndio swali linabaki... Is it worth it? Unajuaje kua you are not wasting time na kwamba you should move on....

Ofcourse moving on might be the best option.., but staying and changing into a person which even yourself would not be able to recognize, its a crime.., for both yourself, your family, and your friends and normally leads to destruction.

Thanks Ashadii but I think you will agree with me its not hard to be ourselves.., its hard for some people to accept us for who we are, but maybe those people are not worth it...., and if one who is worth it comes along the foundation built would be hard even for Tsunami to destroy...

Adios amiga.. Ashadii, hasta pronto

 

[Daileen]

Kanipendea usafi wangu wa mwili,,upishi mzuri niwapo jikoni,,huba nzuri tuwapo faraghani na mawazo mazuri tuwapo mazungumzoni!!