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Wanawake wanavyoivaa mikenge kwenye ndoa....!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Aug 28, 2012.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Ngoja leo niyadadavue makosa yanayofanywa na wanawake wengi pale wanapoamua ni nani wa kuoana naye:

    1. Kosa la kwanza, unaolewa na mtu ambaye unajua kabisa ni dhaifu na mkorofi, ukitarajia kwamba ataondoa kasoro zake akiwa ndani ya ndoa. Hili ni kosa kubwa. Kama huna furaha sasa na mtu kabla hujaoana naye, usikubali kuingia huo mkenge. Huwezi kutegemea mtu kuadilika aiwa ndani ya ndoa.

    2. Kosa la pili, unaolewa na mtu asiye sahihi kwa sababu ya msisimko wa mwili kimapenzi lakini si kwa sababu ya tabia zake. Kuwa mwangalifu na neno “Nakupenda” neno hili mara nyingi maana yake ni “Nina uchu nawe.” Ndiyo amevutiwa nawekimaumbile, lakini undani wa tabia yake unaujua? Hapa kuna mambo manne… Kwanza, Je anapenda kutomfanyia binadamu mwenzie mabaya kama mabavyo yeye hataki kufanyiwa? Pili, anaishi vipi na watu wengine? Anaishi vipi na watu ambao ana uadui nao, Anawasamehe au analipiza visasi? Je anatoa misaada kwa masikini? Tatu, je ni mkweli, anachokisema ndicho anachokifanya? Je anaaminika? Majukumu anayoahidi kuyafanya anayatimiza? Nne, je anajipenda? Je ni mtu ambaye yuko imara kimapenzi au ni mtu wa kuyumbayumba na asiye na msimamo? Sio mtu akishauriwa na marafiki zake au ndugu zake huko, anakuja na maamuzi yasiyo na kichwa wala miguu

    3. Kosa la tatu, unaolewa na mtu ambaye hamna malengo na vipaumbele vya aina moja vya maisha. Je mna utashi wa aina moja? Kwa mfano ni vyema mwanamuziki akaolewa na mwanamuziki mwenzie kwa kuwa anajua mzingira ya kazi ya mwenzie ili kupunguza wivu wa kupindukia usio wa lazima

    4. Kosa la nne, unaolewa na mtu asiye sahihi kwa sababu mnakutana kimwili mapema mno. Kukutana kimwili kabla ya ndoa kunaweza kuleta matatizo makubwa mno. Tendo la ndoa kabla ya ndoa hufunika uwezo wa mtu kufikiri. Mtu anabaki kufaidi na kubaki kujali mapenzi ya kimwili na kusahau kukuna ubongo juu ya mambo mengine. Ni lazima mwanamke akune ubongo ili kujua kama huyo mpenzi anakidhi vigezo vyote vya mume mtarajiwa.

    5. Kosa la tano, unaolewa na mtu ambaye huna msisimko wa kimwili umwonapo. Kuna uwezekano mkubwa mwanamke akavutiwa na mwanaume kwa sababu ya aina ya gari analomiliki. Hapa hakuna msisimko wa kimwili bali mwanamke kavutwa na gari au rasilimali alizo nazo mwanaume huyo.

    6. Kosa la sita, unaolewa na mwanaume anayependa kudhibiti. kuwa na tabia ya kudhibiti wenzako ni ya dalili za mtu jeuri na mwenye kujisikia na mfujaji. Naomba kutofautisha kati ya “kudhibiti” na “kutoa mawazo.” Mtu anayekupa mawazo ni kwa faida yako, lakini anayekudhibiti ni kwa faida yake.

    7. Kosa la saba, unaolewa na mtu asiye sahihi kwa sababu unakimbia matatizo uliyo nayo. Unaweza kuwa hujaolewa na huna raha wala amani na ukataka kuolewa. Ndo haiwezi kukutatulia matatizo yako binafsi ya kisaikolojia nay a kimapenzi. Badala a kuyapunguza matatizo hayo, ndoa itayaoneza. Kama huna amani na huyafuahii maisha, chukua jukumu la kurekebisha matatizo hayo sasa kabla hujaolewa. Itakuwa ni faida kwako na kwa mmeo mtarajiwa.

    8. Kosa la nane, unaolewa na mtu asiya sahihi kwa kuwa yuko ndani ya pembe tatu. Mtu ambaye anaishi na wazazi wake ni moja ya mfano wa mtu anayeishi katika pembe tatu. Watu wengine wanaoweza wakawa wanaishi ndani ya pembe tatu ni kama wanaofanya kazi saa 24! Huyu mtu halali? Watu wengine walio katika pembe tatu ni watu wanaotumia madawa ya kulevya, mtu anayetawaliwa na “hobbie” zake, anapenda sana michezo (Mpira), kuperuzi mitandao ya kijamii na anapenda sana fedha. Hakikisha kwamba wewe na mpenzi wako , nyote hamtawaliwi na pembe tatu. Mtu ambaye anatawaliwa na pembe tatu hawezi kumtimizia mpenzi wake haja ya upendo atakapokuwa anahitaji. Kama mpenzi wako anatawaliwa na pembe tatu kwa kiasi kikubwa, wewe huwezi kuwa kipaumbele chake.
    utambuzi na kujitambua
     
  2. Father of All

    Father of All JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Kaka weka na upande wa pili ambapo wanaume huingia mikenge karibu kwa sababu hizo hizo ulotaja hapo juu. Kimsingi ukichunguza sana hii huwa ngoma droo. Usishangae mwanaume kumuoa changu akitegemea atajirekebisha ukiachia mbali kuwaka tamaa. Nilikuwa napita tu.
     
  3. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Hiyo namba 6! Kuna watu wanakuwa wanajiskia kama wanawamiliki wenzi wao! Yaani anaku-dhibiti, kila siku ni kazi ya kujieleza. Mbaya zaidi ni tabia ya kutaka maelezo kwa kila kitu, unakutana na nani, why? Fulani simpendi, sidhani kama ni sahihi kuhusiana nae, ama kutaniana nae! Inaweza kufika mahali kumfanya mwenza akose confidence, na kumaliza self esteem!
    Watu wa aina hii usually ni abusers, both physical and emotional. They would love to cut you out from your old lifestyle and your old friends becoz they feel they know what is best for you.
     
  4. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Aug 28, 2012
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    kweli tupu
     
  5. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Sababu namba 2,4 zinakinzana na namba 5
     
  6. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Umeona eeh; hizi ABCD hizi, zaweza potosha sana mabinti kama sio kuwachanganya!
     
  7. andate

    andate JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 28, 2012
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    na wewe unaona mno. utafikiri mwewe.
     
  8. Scofied

    Scofied JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 28, 2012
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    wenyew wanasema true love does not ask why....
     
  9. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 28, 2012
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    tena wanaongezea 'for better for worse' na kujazilizia age aint nothing but a number, hata kama ni kibabu!!! au hata kama ni libibi!!! lolest!
     
  10. Mvaa Tai

    Mvaa Tai JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Ngoja nipite hapa maana hapanihusu sana sana nitastukia tu kama mke wangu aliingia mkenge kwangu ama la
     
  11. Scofied

    Scofied JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Aug 28, 2012
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    umeona eheee!!
     
  12. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Asante kwa uzi huu mkuu...point zote muhimu kwelikweli, namba 2 ina uzito sana!!
     
  13. Possibles

    Possibles JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Aug 29, 2012
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    Nilidhani kuoa/kuolewa hakuna formula!
     
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