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Wanawake na kaburi la mapema.....!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by MziziMkavu, Aug 28, 2012.

  1. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Hivi karibuni nimesoma utafiti katika makabrasha yangu kuhusiana na maradhi mbalimbali yanayowakabili wanawake walioko kwenye ndoa au uhusiano wenye mashaka. Tafiti zinaonyesha kwamba, wanawake wote ambao wana mashaka na wasiwasi kuhusu usalama wa ndoa zao, wasiowaamini waume zao, kwa kawaida, wanakuwa na kinga dhaifu sana dhidi ya maradhi. Haiyumkini hata wale wanawake waliosemwa kuwa wamekufa kwa ukimwi huku waume zao wakiendelea kudunda na maisha na pengine hata kuoa na kuzaa kama kawaida, wake hao walipoteza maisha kutokana na sababu hii.


    Mtafiti mmoja Angelo Picardi wa Italia anasema, amethibitisha kuhusu hilo kwa kuwakagua wanawake wapatao 61. Kumbuka kwenye miili yetu kuna seli ambazo kimaumbile kazi yake ni kupambana na maradhi. Kwa wale wanawake wanaoishi kwenye ndoa za mashaka, ambapo hawawaamini waume zao na huku wakihofia kupoteza ndoa zao, mfumo wao wa seli hizo za kinga ni dhaifu, ukilinganisha na wanawake ambao hawana wasiwasi na ndoa zao huvunjika au kuachwa na waume zao.


    Maana yake ni nini? Ni kwamba, wanawake ambao wana hofu kwamba, waume zao wanaweza kuwaacha na hivyo kuhisi kutishika na wale ambao wana wivu kwa sababu hawajiamini, hushikwa na maradhi kirahisi sana. Ni rahisi kwao kuwa nyondenyonde kwa sababu mfumo wa kinga katika miili yao umezorota sana. Kuna maradhi ya utegemezi wa kihisia (co-dependence) ambayo ni maradhi ya kiakili, yanayomfanya mtu kuamini kwamba, bila mwingine kuwepo au kuwa karibu naye, hawezi kuishi. Kwa hali hiyo, siwezi kuwalaumu hawa. Lakini napenda kuwaambia kwamba, wanaumwa. Nadhani siyo vibaya kumkumbusha mtu kwamba, tatizo alilonalo ni maradhi, ili atafute tiba.


    Bahati mbaya kuumwa kwao huko, huwaletea maradhi mengine, mengi sana kwa sababu ya kushuka kwa kinga ya mwili kama nilivyobainisha hapo awali. Ninavyojua ni kwamba, mtu akiwa na wasiwasi na hofu za kila wakati huharibu kinga na mwili wake kila siku unakuwa kwenye maradhi yasiyoisha. Idadi kubwa ya wanawake wenye shinikizo la damu au hata kisukari, ukichunguza utakuta chanzo cha maradhi hayo ni madhila ya ndoa. Kwenye ukoo hawana historia ya maradhi hayo na staili za maisha yao haziwaweki kwenye uwezekano wa kuyapata, lakini wasiwasi na mashaka ya ndoa, ndiyo chanzo.

    Wakati mwingine, mume anaweza kuwa anamwambia mkewe karibu kila siku, ‘nitakuacha mimi’ au‘nitakurudisha kwenu ukiniletea ujinga.’ Mke huogopa na huanza kujiona akiwa hana usalama tena, kwani akicheza atarudishwa kwao. Naye anaamini kurudishwa kwao ni jambo baya kuliko yote maishani. Hebu nikuulize wewe mwanamke. Hivi ni kitu gani kinachokupa hofu kwamba, mumeo atakuacha na kwenda kuchukua mwanamke mwingine? Lakini hata kama akifanya hivyo, hebu niambie, ina maana ni kweli unaamini hutaweza kuishi? Jaribu kufikiri tena upya, kwa sababu kama unaamini hivyo unajidanganya.

    Kumbuka mwanaume huyo anaweza kufa, kama ambavyo wewe unaweza kufa. Hebu fikiria kwamba, mumeo amekufa, ina maana nawe utaona kuishi hakuna maana? Kama ni hivyo, unaumwa, tena unaumwa sana. Unaweza kukuta mwanamke ana ajira yake au ni mjasiriamali aliyesimama kimtaji, na ni yeye mwenye kuilisha familia, lakini anaamini hawezi kuishi bila mumewe. Huu ndio unaitwa utegemezi wa kihisia, sio wa kifedha au kitu kingine.

    Wataalamu wanasema, kati ya vifo kumi vya wanawake ambavyo vinatokana na maradhi yasababishwayo na mateso ya ndoa, vitano vinatoka kwenye utegemezi wa kihisia. Mwanamke anaumwa, analazwa hospitalini hadi anatoka, mume hana habari. Lakini, akitoka yeye ndiye mwenye kuhalalisha mumewe kutoenda kumwona wakati alipokuwa anaumwa. ‘Najua ulikuwa na shughuli nyingi, wala usijali mume wangu, mradi nimeshapona.’Atamwambia mumewe kwa unyenyekevu. Haya ni maradhi mabaya sana na yanahitaji tiba ya haraka kuliko hata Malaria Sugu.
    utambuzi na kujitambua
     
  2. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Aug 28, 2012
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    i see. . .
     
  3. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Duuuh !sasa ngoja nipate coffee kwanza MziziMkavu ..ushauri wako nini...?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  4. Freema Agyeman

    Freema Agyeman JF-Expert Member

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    Aug 28, 2012
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    Wengine tuko almost 80% kushinda hayo maradhi ya utegemezi wa kihisia. Ni vita ngumu; ukizingatia inajumuisha mazoea na matakwa ya jamii inayokuzunguka inayotaka uishi itakavyo jamii na si uwezavyo.
     
  5. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Aug 28, 2012
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    He!Hii picha ya dada King'ast mmeitoa wapi??Kudadadeki lazima mniambie. . . . . Lol!
     
  6. mayenga

    mayenga JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Thanks Mzizimkavu!
     
  7. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Aug 28, 2012
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    aiseeee, job true true!
     
  8. ram

    ram JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Asante Mzizimkavu, kumbe na huku huwa upo, nilidhani unapatikana JF Doctor tu
     
  9. mito

    mito JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Aug 28, 2012
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    Mkuu next time ongeza font kidogo, wengine macho yana shida kidogo, ila thanks for this, nimeipenda mada yako. Lakini hapo kwenye utegemezi wa kihisia,loh ni kazi sana kupashinda, easy say than having it done!
     
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