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Wanawake hukubali kufa huku wakiona......!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Tunajua wote kwamba, hutokea wanawake wakateswa sana kwenye uhusiano wao wa kindoa au kimapenzi na bado wakaendelea kukaa tu kwenye uhusiano huo. Inafikia hadi mtu anakufa huku akiona kabisa. Watu wengine huiita hali hii kuwa ni ujinga na wengine huita kulogwa au huelezea hali hii kwa njia ambayo haiwapi haki wanawake hao. Zipo sababu nyingi ambazo zinawafanya wanawake kuendelea kukaa kwenye ndoa ngumu, bila hata kufikiria kuondoka. Sababu nyingine zinaweza kuonekana kama kituko, lakini ndizo zinazowafanya wafie kwenye ndoa.

    Kuna ile sababu kwamba, hawajui ukubwa wa kiwango cha mateso. Hii hutokana na kwamba, baada ya kuzoea mateso, mwanamke hufikia kuamini kwamba, hayo siyo mateso, bali ndivyo ndoa inavyotakiwa iwe. Kuna sababu ya kukosa marafiki, ndugu au jamaa wa karibu. Na kwa sababu hana watu wa aina hiyo, inakuwa vigumu kwake kuwa na mahali pa kukimbilia ili aweze kupata nafasi ya kujiandaa kuanza upya maisha.

    Kuna wanaoendelea kukaa kwa sababu dini zao zinawaambia, hawana budi kukaa, kwani wameshakuwa mwili mmoja na waume zao na hivyo hawawezi kuondoka. Wanafikiria iwapo wataamua kutoroka, viongozi wao wa dini watawaona vipi na waumini wenzao watachukuliaje jambo hilo. Kwa hiyo, wanaishi kwenye ndoa hizo kwa sababu ya dini, siyo kwa sababu yao binafsi. Halafu kuna suala la kupenda. Utegemezi wa kihisia huwa unaitwa kupenda. Kwa hiyo mwanamke anasema anampenda fulani kiasi kwamba, hawezi kumwacha, wakati ukweli ni kwamba, anamtegemea mwanaume huyo kihisia.Wanawake wanaoteswa kwenye ndoa, huwa wanajidanganya kwamba, watamudu siku moja kubadili tabia hiyo a waume zao kuwafuja. Wanajiambia kwamba, kutukanwa, kupigwa, kudhalilishwa, na matendo mengine, siyo hiari ya hao waume wao.

    Hivyo wanaamini kwamba, kuna siku watamudu kuwasaidia watoke kwenye tabia hizo. Lakini wakati mwingine wanaume hawa watesaji, huwa wanajidai kusema kwamba, wanafanya mambo hayo bila kujua sababu na kuna wakati wanasema wamelogwa.
    Hujawahi kuwaona wanawake wanaokwenda kwa waganga kutafuta dawa ili waume zao wasiwapige, ati kwa sababu vipigo vyao vinatokana na kuchananywa na uchawi wanaofanyiwa na wanawake zao wa nje? Mwanamke anaamini kabisa kwamba, mumewe hamjali na anamdhalilisha kwa sababu ya kulogwa!Mwanamke anaweza kujiambia kwamba, kwa sababu mume wake kuna wakati anamtendea wema, hata kama ni moja, basi anampenda na hayo mengine mabaya, yatakwisha au ni bahati mbaya.

    Mwanamke pia anaweza kufikiri kwamba, akijitahidi sana kumfurahisha mumewe, mume huyo atabadilka na kuwa na tabia nzuri. Hivyo hujipendekeza na mwanaume habadiliki na mateso yanaongezeka. Kuna wanaomudu kuishi kwenye uhusiano huu wa sababu, wamemudu kukandamiza, kupunguza ukubwa wa maumivu. Wanajiambia kwamba, wanavyotendewa siyo vibaya sana. Mwanamke anaweza kujiambia, ‘alinipiga kidogo tu, tena mara mbili kwa mwezi, kuna wanaopigwa kila siku.' Huyu amehalalisha kipigo na mateso, hawezi kuondoka.

    K
    una wanawake wanaoamini kwamba, ndoa inajengwa na kuimarishwa na mwanamke au kuvunjwa na mwanamke pia. Kuna andiko moja katika Biblia hutumiwa sana kuwatisha, linalosema, ‘Mwanamke mpumbavu huivunja ndoa yake kwa mikono yake mwenyewe.' Kwa hiyo wanapofikiria kuondoka, hufikiria kwamba, watu watajua na kumzonga au kumdharau kwa sababu ameshindwa kulinda ndoa. Wengine ni woga tu, kwamba, wakiondoka waume zao watawalipizia visasi au watawasumbua. kuna wakati waume wenyewe ndiyo wanaokuwa wamewatisha kwa kiwango hicho.
     
  2. K

    KipimaPembe JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Aug 5, 2007
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    Mtambuzi,

    Ni ukweli kuwa kuna ndoa zina matatizo hadi ukashangaa kwa nini wanandoa wanaendelea kukaa pamoja. Lakini si kweli kuwa kila ndoa yenye matatizo basi mwanaume ndo "responsible" kwa matatizo hayo!! Wanawake wengine kwa nje wana-portray picha kuwa wao ni victim wakati inside wao ni perpertrator na nikuhakikishie kuwa ukiona mwanamke amekomaa tu katika hali ambapo wewe uliyepo nje unaona anaonewa, kuna sababu zake. Si ajabu yeye ndiyo chanzo cha matatizo hayo unayoyaona ndo maana anavumilia kwani anajua akitoka ukweli utawekwa wazi. Vilema vya wanawake ndani ya ndoa mara nyingi havitoki kwani wanaume walio wengi huwa hawasimulii matatizo ya wake zao. Kinachoonekana mara nyingi ni reaction ya wanaume kwani wanawake ni wazuri sana wa kulalamika "when things go wrong!!".
     
  3. BPM

    BPM JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Mar 10, 2011
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    kila mtu ana aina ya kutatua tatizo , wengi hukimbilia kwenye kuadhibu kwa kudhani ndo itakuwa rahisi kwa vile mhusika anaweza akawa hawezi kujenga hoja kwa mkewe
     
  4. M

    Mutambukamalogo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Jan 25, 2011
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    Ume base upande mmoja. Kuna wanaume wanataabika na wake zao mpaka basi!. Lakini wanaume wengi huwa wanaona aibu kusema kuwa wananyanyaswa kwenye ndoa zao. Huwa wanakuja kufumua reaction zao ghafla na kwa mara moja na kwa sababu hakuwahi kulalamika mwanzoni jamii yote huwa inaona mwanaume ndio mkorofi!
     
  5. harakat

    harakat JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 10, 2011
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    kaka ni kweli hata jana usiku jirani yangu alikua anampiga wife wake bila sababu yoyote na kutishia kumfukuza usiku huo lakini asubuhi yameisha ila
    kile kipigo kingeweza kuleta maafa kwa yule mama.
     
  6. M

    Mamaa Kigogo Senior Member

    #6
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Sep 26, 2011
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    i dont think if that is logic kuvumilia matatizo coz u love nooooooooo pls coz what i know men they are problematic , my advice to alll ladies is that they have to be strong and belive that it is possible to live without marrage after all what matters is only happiness . however, when gets a nice husband try to respect and love him with all your heart but if not and you see ni mzigo umepata na unakupa shida tu tupa kule endelea na maisha yako after all maisha ni matamu hasa ukiwa na msimamo na kujua whats you what in your life .......... for me life is only about my happiness nothing elz..mwanaume hanisumbuhi akili na huwa siruhusu hillo.
     
  7. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #7
    Oct 10, 2011
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    Na inawezekana wanaume ni wanaoteswa na wake zao ni wengi kuliko wanaume lakini tabia ya kuficha mambo ya ndani ndio inayowaponza.
     
  8. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 10, 2011
    Joined: Sep 24, 2010
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    some women crave spousal abuse.........................na hii huitafsiri kuwa mzee wake anamwonea wivu wa kimapenzi na ndiyo maana anamweka kwenye kibanio kikali.......................kule Musoma wanawake baadhi yao hujigamba pale waume zao wanapowashushia kipigo.............
     
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