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Wanaume wanaooa ‘nyumba ndogo’ huwa hawadumu nazo……………….!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Jun 13, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Jun 13, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Nyumba ndogo mwanzoni tamu kweli.........Ikiolewa utamu wote unakwisha
    (Picha haihusiana na habari hii)

    Bila shaka mmeshawahi kusikia wanawake walioachwa au kutelekezwa na waume zao wakidai kwamba waume hao watawakumbuka. Bila shaka pia mmeshawahi kusikia kuhusu wanawake ambao walisababisha ndoa za wanawake wenzao kuvunjika, ambao nao baada ya kuolewa ndoa zao zimekuja kuvunjwa na wanawake wengine. Kusikia kwa matukio kama hayo hakutokani na unasibu (coincidence) wa mambo, bali ukweli wa kimaumbile ambao hakuna mtu anayeweza kupingana nao. Katika maisha kuna kanuni za kiamaumbile ambazo ni kazi bure binadamu kujaribu kubishana nazo. Ni upotezaji wa muda kwa mfano mtu kujaribu kupinga tendo la jiwe kuzama majini linapotupwa ndani ya maji.


    Hali ya kimaumbile pia inatawala uhusiano wetu. Hebu fikiria juu ya mtu ambaye anamdharau mkewe na kumtelekeza au kumuacha kwa sababu amepata mwanamke mwingine bora zaidi. Ninavyofahamu mimi ni kwamba kunapokuwa na tatizo katika ndoa wanandoa hukaa na kujadili njia za kulitatua. Inaposhindikana kabisa ndipo kutengena au kuachana hutokea. Mwanaume ambaye hutafuta ‘nyumba ndogo' wakati akiwa bado na ndoa yake na baadae kuamua kufunga ndoa ya wazi au ya siri na ‘nyumba ndogo' hiyo ni mwanaume ambaye hata mtu asiye na elimu ya nafsi atajua kwamba ana matatizo ya kisaikolojia.

    Sababu ya kutafuta nyumba ndogo……..

    Kuna sababu nyingi ni kwa nini wanaume huwa na ‘nyumba ndogo' , lakini sababu zote hakuna hata moja inayoweza kuhalalisha jambo hilo. Kwa muktadha huo tuache kwanza kuhusu sababu hizo, bali tujadili msingi au mahali zinapochipukia tabia hizo. Mtu anayetafuta ‘nyumba ndogo' ni mtu ambaye haridhishwi na mkewe katika mambo fulani, bila kujali kama ni mambo ya kinyumba au nje ya hayo.

    Mtu huyu anaamini, hata kama sio waziwazi bali nyuma ya ubongo, kwamba hiyo ‘nyumba ndogo' ndiyo yenye ukamilifu, ndiyo inayoweza kuchukuwa nafasi ya mke ambaye ana kasoro. Bila shaka mmeshawahi kusikia wanaume na hata baadhi ya wanawake wakisema kwamba mke mjeuri inabidi atafutiwe mke mwenzie, yaani mke mdogo.

    Hawa wana maana kwamba, mwanaume akiona udhaifu kwa mkewe inabidi atafute mwingine ili kuziba pengo hilo na pia kumtia adabu huyu mke wa kwanza. Lakini udhaifu huu unakuwa ni wa kupewa nguvu tu. Kama kuna uchovu wa hisia, yaani mwanaume ameanza kuchujukiwa na penzi la mkewe katika hali mbalimbali dawa au suluhu ya uchovu huu si kutafuta ‘nyumba ndogo'

    Kutafuta Suluhu…………

    Kama mwanaume ambaye suluhu ya kuchoka kwa hisia zake au kuchuja mapenzi kama kunavyoitwa, ni kutafuta mwanamke mwingine ni wazi hawezi kuishi na mwanamke mmoja. Atatafuta mwanamke wa pili ambaye naye hisia zake zitamchoka na hivyo kuhitaji mpya atakayeziamsha hisia hizo, ambaye naye baada ya muda fulani atakuwa hivyo. Inakuwa ni mtindo wa maisha yake kuwabadilisha wanawake kama nguo……………..

    Tafiti za hapa nchini zinaonyesha kwamba kila wanaume saba kati ya kumi ambao huwaacha wake zao na kuoa ‘nyumba ndogo' . baadae ndoa zao na nyumba ndogo hizo huvunjika. Hebu fikiria ni wanaume watatu tu kati ya kila kumi ambao wataweza kuendelea kuishi na ‘nyumba ndogo' zao,wengine saba wataangukia kwenye kutafuta au kuona ‘nyumba ndogo' nyingine………

    Nawaomba wale wanawake ambao huwa wanafanywa ‘nyumba ndogo' na baadae kuja kuolewa, wasidhani wamefika mwishowa safari zao. Nao wataachwa kama wenzao baada ya nyumba ndogo nyingine kupatikana……………..
     
  2. awp

    awp JF-Expert Member

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    swala la nyumba ndogo ni hulka ya mtu
     
  3. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 13, 2012
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    nisipopata phd ya nyumba ndogo mwaka huu basi mie kilaza.

    Asante kwa uzi huu.
     
  4. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

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    Ushawahi kusikia msemo wa 'Cha kunyonga kitamu' basi hiyo ni sawa na nyumba ndogo however not always necessary kuwa hazidumu, tumeshaona wengi wanazeeshana. Hii inatokana na sababu gani zilizomtoa huyo mwanaume kwenye ndoa yake labda kuna mapungufu fulani yametendeka na nyumba ndogo imeweza kuyamudu the missing part, kuna time mwanamke mwenyewe anaweza kusababisha mume kutafuta nyumba ndogo.

    Mwanamme ambaye ameacha nyumba yake kubwa kwa matamanio ya mwili (sex) for sure atarudi kwa mkewe, lakini kingine chochote inabidi nyumba kubwa isahau kama kuna kurudi tena.
     
  5. MASELE

    MASELE JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 13, 2012
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    ila isidese tu
     
  6. s

    sawabho JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Kumbuka kuwa akishaolewa jina linabadilika kutoka nyumba ndogo na kuwa mke wa ndoa a.k.a Nyumba Kubwa ambaye anatimiza majukumu ya nyumba kama vile kulea watoto, tofauiti na nyumba ndogo ambayo kazi yake kubwa ni kumlea Mwanaume; hayo malezi yakipungua mume anatafuta nyumba ndogo nyingine; na kwa kuwa Nyumba ndogo iliyojibadilisha kuwa mke inafahamu yaliyokuwa yanatendeka enzi za unyumba ndogo inachachamaa na kuachia ngazi. Ukiendekeza kuoa ynumba ndogo unaweza usiwe na ndoa ya kudumu katika uhai wako.
     
  7. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #7
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Kuhusu kwamba sio lazima kila nyumba ndogo inayoolewa haidumu katika ndoa, nimeshabainisha katika utafiti uliofanywa. MadameX au hujausoma uzi wangu na kuuelewa?
     
  8. harakat

    harakat JF-Expert Member

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    Nawasalimia tu mi sijaoa bado
     
  9. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Mkuu sawabho tuko pamoja, kama nilivyoeleza hatika uzi wangu kwamba ukishaoa nyumba ndogo mduara wa kuoa hautoisha kwa sababu hakuna binadamu mkamilifu, basi pale utakapouona udhaifu wake utaanza kutafuta mwanamke mwingine ambaye na yeye baadae atakuwa sio mkamilifu.............

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  10. MadameX

    MadameX JF-Expert Member

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    Naona unisome vizuri tena maana niliendeleza zaidi, unyumba wa vigezo vya SEX haudumu na huwa wanarudi kwa wake zao. Wale wanaobaki na hizo nyumba ndogo na kuzeeshana there should be more than that!
     
  11. s

    sawabho JF-Expert Member

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    Hii hasa inakuhusu wewe, unakunjwa ungali mbichi. Unafundwa sasa ili utakapoa utulie na mmoja, maana wote ni sawa. Sisi wengine tumeishakubuhu, hatukukunjwa tungali wabichi.
     
  12. Asnam

    Asnam JF-Expert Member

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    umeeleweka vizuri hapa nakuunga mkono,miguu na maskio vyote kwa pamoja binadamu tuna tabia ya kukimbia matatizo badala ya kuyatafutia ufumbuzi endelevu wengi wetu hutafuta suluhisho la muda tu na kusahau kuna keshokutwa.
     
  13. cacico

    cacico JF-Expert Member

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    mi sina wivu aoe tu, ila mahitaji na huduma sawa kwa wote ataweza? huwa mnakurupuka tu kuoa nyumba ndogo, lakini mwisho wa siku mnajijazia kitabu cha hukumu!
     
  14. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Kuliko kuwa na nyumba ndogo bora nisiwe na nyumba kabisa!
     
  15. WALIMWEUSI

    WALIMWEUSI JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 13, 2012
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    Madamex inaonekana we ni nyumba ndogo ya mtu ee, ha ha ha just kidding!
     
  16. WALIMWEUSI

    WALIMWEUSI JF-Expert Member

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    Kama tungefahamu na kuelewa nini maana ya UPENDO katika ndoa basi kusingekuwepo na nyumba ndogo! Ninavyofahamu mimi, kama mume ana upendo wa dhati kwa mkewe, yale mapungufu yaliyopo kwa mkewe basi atajitaidi kuyarekebisha, vivyo hivyo kwa mkewe pia.

    All in all, wanandoa wasipokuwa karibu na Mungu, nyumba ndogo hazitaisha ng'oo!
     
  17. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Umenichekesha Eiyer. Watu wanapenda shida; ya nini kujibana kwenye kajumba kadogo wakati uwezo wa kufanyia maintenance nyumba kubwa wanao. Lol. Na unaweza kuta nyumba ndogo iko kwa mtogole kubwa iko masaki lakini mtu yumo tu.

     
  18. Power G

    Power G JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 13, 2012
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    Tunachofuata huko ni kubembelezwa na kudekezwa baada ya kupata shuruba za kazini na za nyumba kubwa.
     
  19. E

    Elizabeth Dominic Platinum Member

    #19
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Usaliti ni kitu kibaya sana.....
    Unavunjaje nyumba yako mwenyewe uliyoshiriki kuijenga?
    Watu wengi siku hizi wanachukulia ndoa very lightly, sijaelewa bado mwanamume anapomgeuza mkewe anayelala naye kitanda kimoja kuwa adui kiasi cha kuchukua mwanamke mwingine bila ya kusahau kuna maisha ya watoto wenu hapo unayoweka at stake kwa tamaa ya vitu vya kupita...........nayajua mateso haya
     
  20. C

    Caroline Danzi JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 13, 2012
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    Madame x wanawake ni hopeless always including me. Hatuna akili yakuchanganua kwamba huyo mwanaume anatuchezea akili ama la. Hivi wewe kwa akili isiyohitaji kusoma, kuna chochote nyumba ndogo inamzidi mke original? Excuse me! Nyumba ndogo always ni za kutolea uchovu end of the day unaachwa kwenye mataa, ikibahatika kuolewa ihesabie anakuja mwingine ku-overtake!

    Kama siyo ukilaza na upumbavu uliopitililza, mwanamke na akili zilizochanganyika na matope unaolewa mke wa 3, hao wa wawili mbele yako ni ni majuha? Wanawake amkeni acheni ujinga na upumbavu, tuache kunyonga, tujifunze kuchinja
     
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